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I'm 40 years old and still do not know how to wipe my ass

 
Anonymous Cowarcl

User ID: 77275010
Canada
01/11/2019 08:19 AM
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Re: I'm 40 years old and still do not know how to wipe my ass
THAT'S NO PROBLEM.

Just call the local socialists.

They're always happy to send round social workers to blow everyone's nose and wipe their asses for them at the taxpayers expense.

Even if you just stub your big toe, they'll send you off to a psychiatrist to help you cope with all the pain and emotional damage you've suffered.
s
Bottom Feeder

User ID: 71289333
United Kingdom
01/11/2019 09:03 AM
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Re: I'm 40 years old and still do not know how to wipe my ass
No matter what I do I get skid marks and wind up smelling like dog shit

Is that you Louise ?

Can someone link me on how to wipe my stank ass
 Quoting: Ihatepedos

Kissing the pink
Anonymous Cowlick

User ID: 76223071
United States
01/11/2019 09:05 AM
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Re: I'm 40 years old and still do not know how to wipe my ass
:dudesagan:
Anonymous Cowlick

User ID: 76223071
United States
01/11/2019 09:08 AM
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Re: I'm 40 years old and still do not know how to wipe my ass
I wipe and wipe and it's never clean so I give up always something on the paper
 Quoting: Ihatepedos


You've got to really get up there and dig man!
T3OTWAWKI

User ID: 77093723
United States
01/11/2019 09:12 AM

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Re: I'm 40 years old and still do not know how to wipe my ass
yak

It's your diet. Cleanse your system and your shit won't stink or stick

flush

Last Edited by T3OTWAWKI on 01/11/2019 09:12 AM
allentownchemtrail

User ID: 53502500
United States
01/11/2019 09:15 AM
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Re: I'm 40 years old and still do not know how to wipe my ass
Your ass hole must be surrounded by too many hairs. Trim it back, then get back to us.

stir
 Quoting: allentownchemtrail


So ur sayin dingleberries is the culprit?
 Quoting: Bill Gates


very well could be
 Quoting: Bill Gates


hes right
Hateyaall

User ID: 49189937
United States
01/11/2019 09:16 AM

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Re: I'm 40 years old and still do not know how to wipe my ass
Can someone link me on how to wipe my stank ass
 Quoting: Ihatepedos


No. We are all one, and I have it on good advice that the one is a stank arse beast from the pits of Hell.
Good luck on getting rid of that stench.
Unofficial member of my own hate club. I'm there in a limited capacity. :[
allentownchemtrail

User ID: 53502500
United States
01/11/2019 09:17 AM
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Re: I'm 40 years old and still do not know how to wipe my ass
entertained

Last Edited by allentownchemtrail on 01/11/2019 09:18 AM
TheBiss

User ID: 66674106
United States
01/11/2019 09:18 AM

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Re: I'm 40 years old and still do not know how to wipe my ass
Get an in-toilet bidet. It's awesome!
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Bing Bong Lee

User ID: 73636379
New Zealand
01/11/2019 09:23 AM
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Re: I'm 40 years old and still do not know how to wipe my ass
You filthy animal. Adjust your shit cycle. Crap in the morning before taking a shower, crap at night before taking a shower. How? Have a good hard guess, BoBo.

P.S: You need to clean your butthole when under the shower. Just letting water run over it ain't gonna do much unless you actively clean it with your fingers. Use decent, mild soap and rince that filth.

Everytime I take a crap, I immediately head to the shower. Obviously I wipe first to be as clean as posssible and then I go to the shower. You don't have to get under it with your entire body if you already showered just hours before. Pull up your t shirt, remove the pants and underwear bring down the hose ... Jesus ...
SpringLeak

User ID: 75632946
United States
01/11/2019 10:38 AM

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Re: I'm 40 years old and still do not know how to wipe my ass
Me neither. I just let my hoes lick it clean for me.
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Eilonwy

User ID: 77197203
Canada
01/11/2019 10:43 AM

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Re: I'm 40 years old and still do not know how to wipe my ass
Ok listen, I think some people are saying to use baby wipes and I get that, but make sure whatever you put down the toilet is FLUSHABLE

My toilet is right next to the sink, and what I do is after I get rid of the majority of the problem with a dry swipe, after that I use dampened toilet paper. Because I know that is going to flush.

I think there are wiping products that are flushable, my concern with them is they may have additives that could irritate. Dampened TP might be a bit safer in that regard.
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~Blue Spirit~

User ID: 44197362
United Kingdom
01/11/2019 10:44 AM

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Re: I'm 40 years old and still do not know how to wipe my ass
Ok listen, I think some people are saying to use baby wipes and I get that, but make sure whatever you put down the toilet is FLUSHABLE

My toilet is right next to the sink, and what I do is after I get rid of the majority of the problem with a dry swipe, after that I use dampened toilet paper. Because I know that is going to flush.

I think there are wiping products that are flushable, my concern with them is they may have additives that could irritate. Dampened TP might be a bit safer in that regard.
 Quoting: Eilonwy


Yes... and if you must use wet wipes, use unscented ones...i was about to state that one too...
:-)

Last Edited by ~Blue Spirit~ on 01/11/2019 10:45 AM
:hf:

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GryffindorHouse

User ID: 69098086
United States
01/11/2019 10:44 AM
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Re: I'm 40 years old and still do not know how to wipe my ass
No matter what I do I get skid marks and wind up smelling like dog shit


Can someone link me on how to wipe my stank ass
 Quoting: Ihatepedos


banana2

Left hand sweetie
Eilonwy

User ID: 77197203
Canada
01/11/2019 10:44 AM

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Re: I'm 40 years old and still do not know how to wipe my ass
People who are saying to time your BM's to be just before the shower are going to regret it in the long run.

The brain isn't in charge of these things, the bowel is. When you try to boss around your bowel you end up with things like hemorrhoids.

Last Edited by Eilonwy on 01/11/2019 10:45 AM
“A grower of turnips or shaper of clay, a commot Farmer or a king--every man is a hero if he strives more for others than for himself alone.”
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Powder

User ID: 3491129
United States
01/11/2019 10:54 AM
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Re: I'm 40 years old and still do not know how to wipe my ass
Buy a $50 bidet seat attachment for your terlet.
C.K. Dexter Haven

User ID: 77047820
Netherlands
01/11/2019 10:59 AM

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Re: I'm 40 years old and still do not know how to wipe my ass
Space for $100 Alex

They both circle Uranus looking for Klingons


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LuckyMonkey

User ID: 69622286
United States
01/11/2019 11:04 AM

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Re: I'm 40 years old and still do not know how to wipe my ass
i use water squirter attached to the toilet water source. clean as all day and dont need to wash my hands either
LuckyMonkey

User ID: 69622286
United States
01/11/2019 11:04 AM

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Re: I'm 40 years old and still do not know how to wipe my ass
I dont have to waste money on tp either
amazednotdazed

User ID: 76335367
Canada
01/11/2019 11:06 AM
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Re: I'm 40 years old and still do not know how to wipe my ass
No matter what I do I get skid marks and wind up smelling like dog shit


Can someone link me on how to wipe my stank ass
 Quoting: Ihatepedos



UHHHHH. You wipe it with continual fresh unused paper until its clean and then you take toilet paper or a wipe and wash yourself.
ANTIFAIL

User ID: 73314903
Canada
01/11/2019 11:07 AM
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Re: I'm 40 years old and still do not know how to wipe my ass
Get yourself a bidet.. problem solved
@Lone_Pigeon
MissCleo

User ID: 76541118
United States
01/11/2019 11:12 AM

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Re: I'm 40 years old and still do not know how to wipe my ass
Here's another trick.

Take a bubble bath with your mate.
Allow her to touch your butthole in the warm soapy water. all the little cracks and crevices. Then wedge a wet washcloth in there for a little bit.

Then when dry lube your butthole with some baby diaper cream, just a little dab.

repeat weekly.

you're welcome.
wingnut1234

User ID: 77057405
United States
01/11/2019 11:56 AM

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Re: I'm 40 years old and still do not know how to wipe my ass
Gots to get down to tha construction site when they runs outta toilet paper....
01:32 will help you
C.K. Dexter Haven

User ID: 77047820
Netherlands
01/11/2019 11:58 AM

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Re: I'm 40 years old and still do not know how to wipe my ass
Here's another trick.

Take a bubble bath with your mate.
Allow her to touch your butthole in the warm soapy water. all the little cracks and crevices. Then wedge a wet washcloth in there for a little bit.

Then when dry lube your butthole with some baby diaper cream, just a little dab.

repeat weekly.

you're welcome.
 Quoting: MissCleo


shesright

carey
1r0n4n9el

User ID: 74849029
United States
01/11/2019 12:40 PM
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Re: I'm 40 years old and still do not know how to wipe my ass
Here's another trick.

Take a bubble bath with your mate.
Allow her to touch your butthole in the warm soapy water. all the little cracks and crevices. Then wedge a wet washcloth in there for a little bit.

Then when dry lube your butthole with some baby diaper cream, just a little dab.

repeat weekly.

you're welcome.
 Quoting: MissCleo

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Anonymous Cowlick

User ID: 76223071
United States
01/11/2019 02:17 PM
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Re: I'm 40 years old and still do not know how to wipe my ass
i use water squirter attached to the toilet water source. clean as all day and dont need to wash my hands either
 Quoting: LuckyMonkey


You still need to wash yo hands!
DuckNCover

User ID: 3641136
United States
01/11/2019 02:30 PM

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Re: I'm 40 years old and still do not know how to wipe my ass
I wipe and wipe and it's never clean so I give up always something on the paper
 Quoting: Ihatepedos


You are impacted with shit....

Change your diet and then use a prepared disposable enema. That will clean you out...

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wkk

User ID: 77280407
United States
01/11/2019 02:37 PM
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Re: I'm 40 years old and still do not know how to wipe my ass
get some of those wet wipes that they use for cleaning the body. After wiping, also use the wet wipes to get cleaner.

I don't mean this as a cut, but as information--you can find organic ones along with the baby stuff in your grocery store
wkk
Jenuine Human

User ID: 73803057
United States
01/11/2019 02:46 PM

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Re: I'm 40 years old and still do not know how to wipe my ass
I see some interesting techniques here. Not sure the rectangles are worth trying. I make my tp into a buff puff shape. If you need to wipe more than 4 times, something isn't right.
Fear is a LIAR!
SearchGirl

User ID: 77153197
01/11/2019 03:21 PM

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Re: I'm 40 years old and still do not know how to wipe my ass
A faggot from the netherlands buttfuckexd OP too hard and loosened up his ass.
 Quoting: Chip


Ewww, prolapse visual.