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Boyfriends kid is cruel

 
bleep
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User ID: 52923498
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01/14/2019 07:07 PM

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Boyfriends kid is cruel
I have one, my boyfriend has two. One of his had become extremely angry, emotional, bossy, entitled, and sad. I feel bad for her, her mom is real lazy, likely drugged, and doesn’t really take care of them - grandmama does - and I think the little one is imitating that attitude. I feel horrible for her. . But at the same time, my son is starting to get extremely sad after we all hang out. I’ve never seen him like this before and it’s always now after our hangouts. .and he’s seemingly picking up some of her cruelty. Any suggestions? I love his kids at this point but I’m going to choose my sons well-being over there’s. I feel like I have no place to say anything about it.

Last Edited by bleep on 01/14/2019 07:08 PM
Timur2020

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01/14/2019 07:24 PM

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Re: Boyfriends kid is cruel
You are dating him and his damaged goods brat is not being controlled, but indulged.

I would break it off? Because if he was father material he would correct the little beast.

But if you want to try, you can't avoid talking to him about her.

We aren't like you. Our boilerplate, all dads thing, is "oh honey they're just kids, leave them alone"....because we want to be left alone and we can be "cross wire" protective.

It might help if before you broach the subject, get a feel for why he lets the lil bich be like that. Hes either uncaring and heartless like his ex (or) he sees it, doesn't know wgat to do, but its his job to protect her. And it may be just that. Males can be emotionally awkward and you guys are the ones that say the things that might make sense to us wben we can't and also the ones where you laugh and say "thats not something you have to protect, she's waiting for you to notice and get her to stop" Really.

But...still, MY BABY COMES FIRST and if you have a good one, all the others in a pile are not worth him to everybody.

One of ours has a cruel lil carbon copy of mom's evil. They told me they went in the kids room and she was standing on the baby.
I know how humans are and kids especially. I told them what it was and to be vigilant and use common sense with her.
But I wish she'd rot or something myself.

In the end tho, nothing toxic should lower the face of your good boy. Best wishes and if he cops out and won't show being a dad, then you are still looking, before he fails or zeroes in on your kid.

Good for you btw
Borderbotanicals at gmail
Presqu'ile

User ID: 77221064
Canada
01/14/2019 07:26 PM

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Re: Boyfriends kid is cruel
I have one, my boyfriend has two. One of his had become extremely angry, emotional, bossy, entitled, and sad. I feel bad for her, her mom is real lazy, likely drugged, and doesn’t really take care of them - grandmama does - and I think the little one is imitating that attitude. I feel horrible for her. . But at the same time, my son is starting to get extremely sad after we all hang out. I’ve never seen him like this before and it’s always now after our hangouts. .and he’s seemingly picking up some of her cruelty. Any suggestions? I love his kids at this point but I’m going to choose my sons well-being over there’s. I feel like I have no place to say anything about it.
 Quoting: bleep


Slap it across the face
Lance Roseman From BC

User ID: 30616576
Canada
01/14/2019 07:29 PM

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Re: Boyfriends kid is cruel
You are dating him and his damaged goods brat is not being controlled, but indulged.

I would break it off? Because if he was father material he would correct the little beast.


But if you want to try, you can't avoid talking to him about her.

We aren't like you. Our boilerplate, all dads thing, is "oh honey they're just kids, leave them alone"....because we want to be left alone and we can be "cross wire" protective.

It might help if before you broach the subject, get a feel for why he lets the lil bich be like that. Hes either uncaring and heartless like his ex (or) he sees it, doesn't know wgat to do, but its his job to protect her. And it may be just that. Males can be emotionally awkward and you guys are the ones that say the things that might make sense to us wben we can't and also the ones where you laugh and say "thats not something you have to protect, she's waiting for you to notice and get her to stop" Really.

But...still, MY BABY COMES FIRST and if you have a good one, all the others in a pile are not worth him to everybody.

One of ours has a cruel lil carbon copy of mom's evil. They told me they went in the kids room and she was standing on the baby.
I know how humans are and kids especially. I told them what it was and to be vigilant and use common sense with her.
But I wish she'd rot or something myself.

In the end tho, nothing toxic should lower the face of your good boy. Best wishes and if he cops out and won't show being a dad, then you are still looking, before he fails or zeroes in on your kid.

Good for you btw
 Quoting: Timur2020


True that. No man of merit has useless offspring.
“History, Stephen said, is a nightmare from which I am trying to awake.”
James Joyce, Ulysses

The Great Awakening is colour blind and shall NOT be Localized...lance

"I must not fear.
Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain."
Group Captain Lionel Mandrake

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01/14/2019 07:32 PM
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Re: Boyfriends kid is cruel
I had a nice girlfriend with two teenage boys that their dad had made bitter about their divorce.

They were super rude to me because of it and there was not much I could do so i had to swerve the whole situation. I wasn't capable of taking verbal insults and she couldn't stop it.

It was a bummer I really liked their mum but I couldn't make it work they were out of control.

I spoke to her again recently 7 years later and she said the boys had really improved and could I help the oldest one get a job. I said I would see what I could do but vowed to myself the mouthy little prick could take a hike.
The Coca Cola Company? I've shit 'em
Presqu'ile

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01/14/2019 07:33 PM

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Re: Boyfriends kid is cruel


Last Edited by Presqu'ile on 02/01/2019 09:41 PM
Bing Bong Lee

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New Zealand
01/14/2019 07:38 PM
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Re: Boyfriends kid is cruel
How old is that little beotch?

It's great to hear you say how you put your son's well-being over the rest. It's the only thing that truly matters and he will be grateful for it, if not really now, then surely later.

Plenty more fish in the sea.
Anonymous Coward
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01/14/2019 07:41 PM
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Re: Boyfriends kid is cruel
If boyfriend is so great, why aren't his kids with him most of the time instead of their druggy mom? For the safety of your child, I would run. I wouldn't be able to bring my child around him or his kids... What's attractive about that?
bleep  (OP)

User ID: 52923498
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01/14/2019 07:46 PM

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Re: Boyfriends kid is cruel
You are dating him and his damaged goods brat is not being controlled, but indulged.

I would break it off? Because if he was father material he would correct the little beast.

But if you want to try, you can't avoid talking to him about her.

We aren't like you. Our boilerplate, all dads thing, is "oh honey they're just kids, leave them alone"....because we want to be left alone and we can be "cross wire" protective.

It might help if before you broach the subject, get a feel for why he lets the lil bich be like that. Hes either uncaring and heartless like his ex (or) he sees it, doesn't know wgat to do, but its his job to protect her. And it may be just that. Males can be emotionally awkward and you guys are the ones that say the things that might make sense to us wben we can't and also the ones where you laugh and say "thats not something you have to protect, she's waiting for you to notice and get her to stop" Really.

But...still, MY BABY COMES FIRST and if you have a good one, all the others in a pile are not worth him to everybody.

One of ours has a cruel lil carbon copy of mom's evil. They told me they went in the kids room and she was standing on the baby.
I know how humans are and kids especially. I told them what it was and to be vigilant and use common sense with her.
But I wish she'd rot or something myself.

In the end tho, nothing toxic should lower the face of your good boy. Best wishes and if he cops out and won't show being a dad, then you are still looking, before he fails or zeroes in on your kid.

Good for you btw
 Quoting: Timur2020


He’s really good with them, their needs are above any of his own, and he keeps them on track, involved with things, all that. The thing I think he’s not doing right is veiled threats of punishment . She takes heed of consequences mentioned, and does something a little while later that’s punishable and nasty but not specific at all to the punishment mentioned for the preceding bad behavior. She’s clever. And the problem with punishment is then we have tears, and panic attacks for I kid you not, 2-3+ hours. He’s not beating her, he takes something away

Also The little one has a cellphone. Whenever mom calls or grandma, they say all kinds of exciting things that they’re doing right now and how it’s a shame that she isn’t there. If we’re in a trip, which we do a lot of outdoorsy stuff, by day 3 she’s totally different, sweet helpful all that. But I really feel like the mom and grandma are doing a lot to make her anti dad.

I’m going to see if we can have some kind of ground rules, not single her out, but if any of the three do this or that, they have to face consequences. If he’s lax on that. If his get passes,, i think I’m done. We kinda discussed something similar before so I’m hoping.

And thank you so much for your insight. hf
bleep  (OP)

User ID: 52923498
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01/14/2019 07:49 PM

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Re: Boyfriends kid is cruel
If boyfriend is so great, why aren't his kids with him most of the time instead of their druggy mom? For the safety of your child, I would run. I wouldn't be able to bring my child around him or his kids... What's attractive about that?
 Quoting: JL2


It’s really hard to prove that stuff unfortunately. I’m not sure if drugs, maybe alcohol. I saw her once, eyes were bloodshot. Her dad is the sheriff....
bleep  (OP)

User ID: 52923498
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01/14/2019 07:50 PM

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Re: Boyfriends kid is cruel
I had a nice girlfriend with two teenage boys that their dad had made bitter about their divorce.

They were super rude to me because of it and there was not much I could do so i had to swerve the whole situation. I wasn't capable of taking verbal insults and she couldn't stop it.

It was a bummer I really liked their mum but I couldn't make it work they were out of control.

I spoke to her again recently 7 years later and she said the boys had really improved and could I help the oldest one get a job. I said I would see what I could do but vowed to myself the mouthy little prick could take a hike.
 Quoting: Group Captain Lionel Mandrake


Yeah I’m at the end. I love his guts. I wanna try but I’m not entirely optimistic. But will try.
bleep  (OP)

User ID: 52923498
United States
01/14/2019 07:50 PM

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Re: Boyfriends kid is cruel
How old is that little beotch?

It's great to hear you say how you put your son's well-being over the rest. It's the only thing that truly matters and he will be grateful for it, if not really now, then surely later.

Plenty more fish in the sea.
 Quoting: Bing Bong Lee


9.
Loup Garou

User ID: 75579430
United States
01/14/2019 07:54 PM

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Re: Boyfriends kid is cruel
You are dating him and his damaged goods brat is not being controlled, but indulged.

I would break it off? Because if he was father material he would correct the little beast.

But if you want to try, you can't avoid talking to him about her.

We aren't like you. Our boilerplate, all dads thing, is "oh honey they're just kids, leave them alone"....because we want to be left alone and we can be "cross wire" protective.

It might help if before you broach the subject, get a feel for why he lets the lil bich be like that. Hes either uncaring and heartless like his ex (or) he sees it, doesn't know what to do, but its his job to protect her. And it may be just that. Males can be emotionally awkward and you guys are the ones that say the things that might make sense to us when we can't and also the ones where you laugh and say "thats not something you have to protect, she's waiting for you to notice and get her to stop" Really.

But...still, MY BABY COMES FIRST and if you have a good one, all the others in a pile are not worth him to everybody.

One of ours has a cruel lil carbon copy of mom's evil. They told me they went in the kids room and she was standing on the baby.
I know how humans are and kids especially. I told them what it was and to be vigilant and use common sense with her.
But I wish she'd rot or something myself.

In the end tho, nothing toxic should lower the face of your good boy. Best wishes and if he cops out and won't show being a dad, then you are still looking, before he fails or zeroes in on your kid.

Good for you btw
 Quoting: Timur2020


100% correct
Just because YOU donít believe
in the Rougarou; or the Loup Garou, donít make you safe; No !

The Constitution is a blend of 'moral certitude' -- which is one of the reasons that criminals are determined to be rid of it and We the People must be even more determined to defend it.

"If there must be trouble, let it be in my day, that my child may have peace." - Thomas Paine

The only thing the Illuminati fears is an independent person who can live, eat, sleep, stay warm and defend themselves separate from Federal help. Pray that the Lord gives us more time! The End is near and time is short!

A fool takes no pleasure in understanding, but only in expressing his opinion. ~Proverbs 18:2


For those who understand, no explanation is needed. For those who do not understand, no explanation is possible

"A candle loses nothing by lighting another candle" - James Keller

Checkd, Keked, and Rekt!
Bing Bong Lee

User ID: 73636379
New Zealand
01/14/2019 08:07 PM
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Re: Boyfriends kid is cruel
How old is that little beotch?

It's great to hear you say how you put your son's well-being over the rest. It's the only thing that truly matters and he will be grateful for it, if not really now, then surely later.

Plenty more fish in the sea.
 Quoting: Bing Bong Lee


9.
 Quoting: bleep


A girl that age is old enough to know how to behave appropriately, especially in this day and age.
If your boyfriend can't bring himself to assert himself correctly in unacceptable situations, then I think it's mightily disrespectful towards you and especially your son.

Maybe next time a tantrum happens, just say "I've had it with her behaviour for today. I hope you understand. I'm doing this for my child."

Maybe she'll come to realize what a mess she's creating and feel ashamed about it. Seems like she's the type that can't stand others being happy or having feelings for eachother.
CleverCreator

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United States
01/14/2019 08:12 PM

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Re: Boyfriends kid is cruel
Sorry.

Walk away.

The kids will only get worse.
See the good. Prepare for the bad. And enjoy right now.
UrMomsD1ld0

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United States
01/14/2019 08:30 PM

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Re: Boyfriends kid is cruel
The worst things for people with kids to do is to let their kids know who they're dating or even let them meet them someday those people will just be another ass-whole in the past and your kids will have to live with what they put them through
bleep  (OP)

User ID: 52923498
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01/14/2019 08:38 PM

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Re: Boyfriends kid is cruel
How old is that little beotch?

It's great to hear you say how you put your son's well-being over the rest. It's the only thing that truly matters and he will be grateful for it, if not really now, then surely later.

Plenty more fish in the sea.
 Quoting: Bing Bong Lee


9.
 Quoting: bleep


A girl that age is old enough to know how to behave appropriately, especially in this day and age.
If your boyfriend can't bring himself to assert himself correctly in unacceptable situations, then I think it's mightily disrespectful towards you and especially your son.

Maybe next time a tantrum happens, just say "I've had it with her behaviour for today. I hope you understand. I'm doing this for my child."

Maybe she'll come to realize what a mess she's creating and feel ashamed about it. Seems like she's the type that can't stand others being happy or having feelings for eachother.
 Quoting: Bing Bong Lee


Yes. We hang out sometimes all weekend travel in the same car. I’m stopping that for now. We’ll meet up and if it goes wrong, I want an easy out.

And I agree about him. I really think he’s trying but he’s lost. We’re gonna work on it. Well see
bleep  (OP)

User ID: 52923498
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01/14/2019 08:42 PM

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Re: Boyfriends kid is cruel
The worst things for people with kids to do is to let their kids know who they're dating or even let them meet them someday those people will just be another ass-whole in the past and your kids will have to live with what they put them through
 Quoting: UrMomsD1ld0


We waited a long time to introduce en Her mom has had a lot of guys in and out. They not only met them, they lived there who knows what the he’ll happened there. I’m sure that’s a factor on how she feels about me, like we’ll go away like all her moms attempts. I want to spend the rest of my life with him. If we can get through this, and it’s a big one, then we can get through anything, I feel
Norske_in_Merika

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01/14/2019 08:42 PM
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Re: Boyfriends kid is cruel
Children are a reflection of their parents (BOTH). That means your boyfriend needs to step up parent his kids.

My Wife's sister's kids were not allowed in my house for almost a year because of their shitty behavior and the effect it had on my our own children.

If you don't have minimal expectations of all people (especially kids), you enable that negative behavior and it gets worse.

Tell him to fix it or no more "hang outs"
Anonymous Coward
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United States
01/14/2019 08:52 PM
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Re: Boyfriends kid is cruel
If boyfriend is so great, why aren't his kids with him most of the time instead of their druggy mom? For the safety of your child, I would run. I wouldn't be able to bring my child around him or his kids... What's attractive about that?
 Quoting: JL2


It’s really hard to prove that stuff unfortunately. I’m not sure if drugs, maybe alcohol. I saw her once, eyes were bloodshot. Her dad is the sheriff....
 Quoting: bleep


lol case closed. Sounds like someone I know, funny her dad worked with the law too. SMH Now we know where they get the attitude from. chuckle
Loup Garou

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01/15/2019 01:04 AM

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Re: Boyfriends kid is cruel
The worst things for people with kids to do is to let their kids know who they're dating or even let them meet them someday those people will just be another ass-whole in the past and your kids will have to live with what they put them through
 Quoting: UrMomsD1ld0


THIS
Just because YOU donít believe
in the Rougarou; or the Loup Garou, donít make you safe; No !

The Constitution is a blend of 'moral certitude' -- which is one of the reasons that criminals are determined to be rid of it and We the People must be even more determined to defend it.

"If there must be trouble, let it be in my day, that my child may have peace." - Thomas Paine

The only thing the Illuminati fears is an independent person who can live, eat, sleep, stay warm and defend themselves separate from Federal help. Pray that the Lord gives us more time! The End is near and time is short!

A fool takes no pleasure in understanding, but only in expressing his opinion. ~Proverbs 18:2


For those who understand, no explanation is needed. For those who do not understand, no explanation is possible

"A candle loses nothing by lighting another candle" - James Keller

Checkd, Keked, and Rekt!