Boyfriends kid is cruel

You are dating him and his damaged goods brat is not being controlled, but indulged.

I would break it off? Because if he was father material he would correct the little beast.

But if you want to try, you can't avoid talking to him about her.

We aren't like you. Our boilerplate, all dads thing, is "oh honey they're just kids, leave them alone"....because we want to be left alone and we can be "cross wire" protective.

It might help if before you broach the subject, get a feel for why he lets the lil bich be like that. Hes either uncaring and heartless like his ex (or) he sees it, doesn't know wgat to do, but its his job to protect her. And it may be just that. Males can be emotionally awkward and you guys are the ones that say the things that might make sense to us wben we can't and also the ones where you laugh and say "thats not something you have to protect, she's waiting for you to notice and get her to stop" Really.

But...still, MY BABY COMES FIRST and if you have a good one, all the others in a pile are not worth him to everybody.

One of ours has a cruel lil carbon copy of mom's evil. They told me they went in the kids room and she was standing on the baby.
I know how humans are and kids especially. I told them what it was and to be vigilant and use common sense with her.
But I wish she'd rot or something myself.

In the end tho, nothing toxic should lower the face of your good boy. Best wishes and if he cops out and won't show being a dad, then you are still looking, before he fails or zeroes in on your kid.

Good for you btw

Slap it across the face

True that. No man of merit has useless offspring.

I had a nice girlfriend with two teenage boys that their dad had made bitter about their divorce.

They were super rude to me because of it and there was not much I could do so i had to swerve the whole situation. I wasn't capable of taking verbal insults and she couldn't stop it.

It was a bummer I really liked their mum but I couldn't make it work they were out of control.

I spoke to her again recently 7 years later and she said the boys had really improved and could I help the oldest one get a job. I said I would see what I could do but vowed to myself the mouthy little prick could take a hike.

How old is that little beotch?

It's great to hear you say how you put your son's well-being over the rest. It's the only thing that truly matters and he will be grateful for it, if not really now, then surely later.

Plenty more fish in the sea.

If boyfriend is so great, why aren't his kids with him most of the time instead of their druggy mom? For the safety of your child, I would run. I wouldn't be able to bring my child around him or his kids... What's attractive about that?

He’s really good with them, their needs are above any of his own, and he keeps them on track, involved with things, all that. The thing I think he’s not doing right is veiled threats of punishment . She takes heed of consequences mentioned, and does something a little while later that’s punishable and nasty but not specific at all to the punishment mentioned for the preceding bad behavior. She’s clever. And the problem with punishment is then we have tears, and panic attacks for I kid you not, 2-3+ hours. He’s not beating her, he takes something away

Also The little one has a cellphone. Whenever mom calls or grandma, they say all kinds of exciting things that they’re doing right now and how it’s a shame that she isn’t there. If we’re in a trip, which we do a lot of outdoorsy stuff, by day 3 she’s totally different, sweet helpful all that. But I really feel like the mom and grandma are doing a lot to make her anti dad.

I’m going to see if we can have some kind of ground rules, not single her out, but if any of the three do this or that, they have to face consequences. If he’s lax on that. If his get passes,, i think I’m done. We kinda discussed something similar before so I’m hoping.

And thank you so much for your insight.

It’s really hard to prove that stuff unfortunately. I’m not sure if drugs, maybe alcohol. I saw her once, eyes were bloodshot. Her dad is the sheriff....

Yeah I’m at the end. I love his guts. I wanna try but I’m not entirely optimistic. But will try.

9.

100% correct

A girl that age is old enough to know how to behave appropriately, especially in this day and age.
If your boyfriend can't bring himself to assert himself correctly in unacceptable situations, then I think it's mightily disrespectful towards you and especially your son.

Maybe next time a tantrum happens, just say "I've had it with her behaviour for today. I hope you understand. I'm doing this for my child."

Maybe she'll come to realize what a mess she's creating and feel ashamed about it. Seems like she's the type that can't stand others being happy or having feelings for eachother.

Sorry.

Walk away.

The kids will only get worse.

The worst things for people with kids to do is to let their kids know who they're dating or even let them meet them someday those people will just be another ass-whole in the past and your kids will have to live with what they put them through

Yes. We hang out sometimes all weekend travel in the same car. I’m stopping that for now. We’ll meet up and if it goes wrong, I want an easy out.

And I agree about him. I really think he’s trying but he’s lost. We’re gonna work on it. Well see

We waited a long time to introduce en Her mom has had a lot of guys in and out. They not only met them, they lived there who knows what the he’ll happened there. I’m sure that’s a factor on how she feels about me, like we’ll go away like all her moms attempts. I want to spend the rest of my life with him. If we can get through this, and it’s a big one, then we can get through anything, I feel

Children are a reflection of their parents (BOTH). That means your boyfriend needs to step up parent his kids.

My Wife's sister's kids were not allowed in my house for almost a year because of their shitty behavior and the effect it had on my our own children.

If you don't have minimal expectations of all people (especially kids), you enable that negative behavior and it gets worse.

Tell him to fix it or no more "hang outs"

lol case closed. Sounds like someone I know, funny her dad worked with the law too. SMH Now we know where they get the attitude from.

THIS