"No, America couldn't possibly be the daughter of Babylon, because that would mean we're blind, deaf, dumb, and don't even understand a fraction about the very Bible we claim to know so well and that our flakey televangelists we love teach us about," said the churchans.

"We thought we were going to be great again while our sons and daughters were jerking themselves off into Oblivion at the Shrine of Shinar. We thought we were going to be fine marginalizing the men of God sent to us and promoting all the false prophets who prophecy prosperity to us while we go to hell in a hand basket!"