How do I let go of my obsession?

Go to a different gay bar.

haha actually becoming gay would be so different , id have no one to compare a girl too..

I was thinking yesterday that lost/unrequited love can be a spritual/religious/learning experience if done right/wrong. Lol.

learn to cook trans fat pork and fried chicken

I hope so. i just had a baby, shes 10 days old so I need to be strong and happy. i need to keep it together
I take it as lesson but its like a knife

Oh my congratulations. Having children might be the most precious spiritual/religious/learning experiences if done right/wrong.

Our current culture is so misguided.

i HAVE ONE TOO

i think everyone needs one

You are holding onto grudges.

If you completely and totally let go of all the grudges you're holding onto, your obsession will go away.

If you only partially let go of some of your grudges, some of your obsession will go away.

If you ignore this advice altogether, your obsession will continue.

It's up to you.

grudges ? im not obsessed in a hateful way. I love him

[link to youtu.be (secure)]

thanks

i like me some good lotion
STARS from bath and body works is so good
makes my dragon scales smooth and soft

i too once suffered from this, finally after my x's roomate who tried to forcibly sexually pleasure him and told i wasnt going anywhere, i played into the game, when his guard was down i ran the f out of there, grabbed my boots ran into 12" of snow in just socks back to my car and took off, wasnt waiting around to find out what was going to happen... a few weeks later i stopped at a tavern, i made sure they weren't there, i had a beer then switched to coffee, i was playing pool, they had league games and werent supposed to be there, i imagine they saw my car and decided to stop by.. the roommate constantly pressing me for a 3 sum, i tried laughing it off and kept declining his offer, i was getting scared, so i went and asked my x, is he being serious about this and he gave me a flat out "yes" i didnt waste anytime, i took my pool stick and cracked the roommate 2x in the head and off to jail i went, i had nobody i could turn too, if i had said i needed help, they would have put me onto the care of my sadistic x and he used to abuse me and i thought i liked it so it was ok... he was a friend to everyone and seemed harmless and at that moment i realized i was in danger and was going to be raped possibly worse and ive had teeth marks and alot of bruises on my arms and body from my x, it was all in sexual nature, nobody would have believed me if i had cried rape, i took my future into my own hands, a slight blemish on my record but it was worth it.. my sanity still intact and that situation made me get my shit together out of bars and move forward with a beautiful life.. point is.. your too good for him.. and stop wasting the short amount of time you have left on earth.. if you want to keep the fantasy alive for fantasy purposes then go for it but draw a line and know he is fantasy land boyfriend and nothing more

There seems to be fine lines between love/obsession And grieving/obsession...

And there are healthy ways to grieve. Healthy ways to "let go".

I drink a beer now and then to my dead ex.
Kinda how you have to deal with things of that nature. Honor whatever you had, throw the rest to the wind, and move on.

Allow Yourself to Grieve; unrequited love is a loss.

"It is normal to feel grief, anger, denial, and all the other things a person might feel after loss. Your feelings about the person you love are real, and the hopes you had had are real.

In our culture, we don’t give space to mourn the loss of unrequited love. We tend to say either “Go get ‘em, try harder, your love will win out eventually!” or “Stop being pathetic and get over it.”

And neither of these are healthy.

If the person you love isn’t interested, continuing to pursue them is both disrespectful to them and hurtful to you, as it delays your ability to heal. But there’s nothing pathetic about feeling deep sadness when a love you feel deeply isn’t returned. It’s okay to mourn.

When the person you love is a friend, the fact that they clearly like you can make it even harder to process as a loss. No matter how many times you’ve said that you accept they aren’t interested in you romantically, moments of warmth and closeness can bring the fires of hope flickering back to life.

You may end up going through the grief process multiple times. I certainly have, with many of the friends I’ve pined for. It’s frustrating. It’s hard not to feel foolish, wrestling with the same anger and sadness you thought you’d moved past two months ago.

The important thing is to remember that these feelings are normal – and healthy. They take you toward healing, even if the road seems impossibly long and twisted." Excerpted from [link to everydayfeminism.com (secure)]

Last Edited by Louis in Richmond on 01/27/2019 02:51 PM

My condolences, anyway....we didnt have much enough to honor , it was basically an unwanted crush turned rougue on my part, I wouldn't be surprised if he wouldn't remeber my nane now

Thank you, it felt like a loss , id never loved before or since

Wait, what. Fuck it never mind.

Lol...people have kids , it happes all the time...

You have this.

You have strength you've never realized.

The hormones of pregnancy and Birth will put you on a rollercoaster I f you dont stay ahead of it - your tender spots are showing - like that major rejection etc

It's a NORMAL response to extreme stress on your body

Take Vitamin D - good for nursing baby too / and other vitamins recommended by your doctor - usually prenatal for awhile after birth too

If you had a C-section - even more vitamins and minerals

CONGRATULATIONS!

It's a GIRL!!!

Hmmm ...I think your right having a newborn is extremely hard..and its making me overly emotional

I must toughen up again , which I will

Yes vitamins... I had a c section as she couldn't come out. ? A 4 kg 51 cm baby ... wasnt gonna work lol

Oh - so glad you and baby are healthy!

I had 3 c-Sections - it is a MAJOR SURGERY even though people shrug it off. I was getting my hair cut when baby #1 was 5 1/2 months old and the hairdresser said "Did you have surgery about 6 months ago?"

I said I had a C-Section

She said she could always tell because the hair under stress gets a line in it - she showed me - halfway down my long hair was a color change darker line - all the way through. The body gets depleted of minerals and it shows up.

I called my Dad on the second day after baby #2 - he had had several heart surgeries I just called up laughing and crying and said " The baby is perfect - but I'm weepy - you know how surgery makes you cry it out a day or two after ?" He said "Honey - even I cried after my surgery - it's just the nervous system working out the stress"

PS - Once baby is more wakey - she will cry hard sometimes to do the same thing . Everyone has their way to deal with it - I set a timer or watched the clock and picked up my babies after 2 mins when under 6 weeks - then 5 mins after 6 weeks old - then a little longer after 3 months. It lets them decompress after outings too - you always pay for overstimulation even if they like it - keep outings short

I have well-adjusted kids that have good relationships - and one is a terrific Dad! So just a little crying lets the nerves out - but pick them up and comfort them for a few minutes each time - then put back to bed.

Snif her little baby - scented head for me - nothing smells better .

Good luck, C- section is a 6 month recovery just like every other surgery

Don't go over every old sore spot - I learned the hard way- just be happy and in the NOW

Hey OP, one of the greatest gifts we have is the ability to change. No time is better than right now to change whatever is holding you back from being the best you that you can be. Me thinks you need to buckle down on your diet, exercise, education, self discipline, sacrifice. You can be better than anyone out there if you believe in yourself. Just my 2 cents.

pray to God