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Hairy unkempt mother fucker with a beard

 
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 60376540
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02/10/2019 10:06 AM
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Hairy unkempt mother fucker with a beard
Hey there GLP

I haven't been to a barber for a haircut since December 31st 1999, new years eve turn of the 21st century, and have used one of
those Remington hair buzz cutting/trimming machines and a mirror instead. The fucking barber only uses a buzz cutter anyway, and not
going to a barber for twenty years has saved me about £2500.00 thus far. That's a win, BTW.

I usually set the trimmer to a number '2' cut and sometimes go full retard removing the guard so I get a number '0' or bald
cunt cut, but that is usually in the summer time.

Same deal for my shaving, I never use razors or cream, just the buzz cutter with no guard, it leaves a nice low stubble, but
again that is usually only in the summertime as I like to catch a tan, if you know what I mean?

Anyway, currently, it being winter and all, I grow myself a beard to keep my neck warm, but as it gets longer it becomes more
unkempt looking and although the obvious remedy for this is to trim the beard with, say, a 12mm guard attached, I would rather
not do that because I want the full beard look.

So, I was wondering if you guys (real ones, not trannies/freaks/weirdos etc.) know of a way in which I can make my beard look
moar 'aesthetic' without cutting it or using cosmetics like a bit of Pluko hair wax or such?

I don't want to use cosmetics you see, I like the natural man look, rough 'n' ready, yeah, that's the ticket :)

Wax attracts bits of food etc. that stick to my beard, and after a while it starts to stink quite badly too, so wax is out.

Has anyone got any tips for a keeping a real etiquette man beard looking sharp and not resembling a tramp, bum or some such?

Gillette is obviously not an option, nor is any soap or other toiletries, that shit is for tarts and queers ...

5a

Thanx in advance ~ Jake the beard faced hairy mother fucker :)
{/Mutariel\}

User ID: 76793558
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02/10/2019 10:12 AM

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Re: Hairy unkempt mother fucker with a beard
one time after shaving my mustache stubble i used too much old spice after shave and instead of washing the excess off i used it on my beard and not only did it make it smell good but it made it look shiny and clean
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 60376540
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02/10/2019 10:25 AM
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Re: Hairy unkempt mother fucker with a beard
one time after shaving my mustache stubble i used too much old spice after shave and instead of washing the excess off i used it on my beard and not only did it make it smell good but it made it look shiny and clean
 Quoting: {/Mutariel\}


After shave is a chemical toiletry though, so I can't use it, natural only please, but thanx for the input.

afro
Anonymous Coward
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02/10/2019 10:28 AM
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Re: Hairy unkempt mother fucker with a beard
Anonymous Coward
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02/10/2019 10:28 AM
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Anonymous Coward (OP)
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02/10/2019 10:33 AM
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Re: Hairy unkempt mother fucker with a beard
It's kinda like Velcro when I go down on the missus though ...

charlie
bhdz71

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02/10/2019 10:34 AM
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Re: Hairy unkempt mother fucker with a beard
You wants that rough and ready “look”? You are still in denial, but you are already one of those trendy metrosexuals just looking for the closet door to prance out of.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 77345586
Canada
02/10/2019 10:38 AM
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Re: Hairy unkempt mother fucker with a beard
You wants that rough and ready “look”? You are still in denial, but you are already one of those trendy metrosexuals just looking for the closet door to prance out of.
 Quoting: bhdz71


That's right that fag Karl Marx had a beard....
Anonymous Coward (OP)
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02/10/2019 10:39 AM
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Re: Hairy unkempt mother fucker with a beard
You wants that rough and ready “look”? You are still in denial, but you are already one of those trendy metrosexuals just looking for the closet door to prance out of.
 Quoting: bhdz71


That's right that fag Karl Marx had a beard....
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 77345586


So do many a lumberjack, eh?

5a
TheTwilightZone

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02/10/2019 10:44 AM
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Re: Hairy unkempt mother fucker with a beard
[link to www.wantitall.co.za (secure)]
Everything resides in the gray area.
Anonymous Coward (OP)
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02/10/2019 10:48 AM
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Re: Hairy unkempt mother fucker with a beard
 Quoting: TheTwilightZone


interesting ...
Anonymous Coward
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02/10/2019 10:48 AM
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Re: Hairy unkempt mother fucker with a beard
You wants that rough and ready “look”? You are still in denial, but you are already one of those trendy metrosexuals just looking for the closet door to prance out of.
 Quoting: bhdz71


That's right that fag Karl Marx had a beard....
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 77345586


So do many a lumberjack, eh?

5a
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 60376540


That's just propaganda that's like me thinking you all wear striped pants like some Yankee doodle DANDY!
Anonymous Coward
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02/10/2019 10:48 AM
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Re: Hairy unkempt mother fucker with a beard
THE OP---->manson-nutter2
Wharf Rat

User ID: 76902183
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02/10/2019 10:54 AM

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Re: Hairy unkempt mother fucker with a beard
Crap, I clicked after reading 'hairy unkempt mother'.....


Shame on me :/
Anonymous Coward
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United Kingdom
02/10/2019 12:37 PM
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Re: Hairy unkempt mother fucker with a beard
bump
SkiveeMcGurn

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02/10/2019 02:50 PM
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Re: Hairy unkempt mother fucker with a beard
Hey there GLP


Thanx in advance ~ Jake the beard faced hairy mother fucker :)
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 60376540


Your mother and father are related, arent't they?!?
pump2
Wanted in 48 states, kicked out of the other two!
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 27255788
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02/10/2019 02:52 PM
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Re: Hairy unkempt mother fucker with a beard
thought you were talking to me for a second

grinning
anonymous coward
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02/10/2019 03:02 PM
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Re: Hairy unkempt mother fucker with a beard
Let your Freak Flag Fly man!!
Anonymous Coward
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02/10/2019 06:33 PM
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Re: Hairy unkempt mother fucker with a beard
burnit
Anonymous Coward
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United Kingdom
02/10/2019 06:33 PM
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Re: Hairy unkempt mother fucker with a beard
burnit
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 3424979
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02/10/2019 06:35 PM
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Re: Hairy unkempt mother fucker with a beard
Well, at least you are gettin' some.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 76620249
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02/10/2019 06:36 PM
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Re: Hairy unkempt mother fucker with a beard
are you a mod?
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 76320280
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02/10/2019 06:45 PM
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Re: Hairy unkempt mother fucker with a beard
Soap is for tarts and queers.


Mmmmmmmmmmmmm hmmmmmmmmmmmm.





eekalert
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 60573264
United States
02/11/2019 06:53 AM
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Re: Hairy unkempt mother fucker with a beard
yeahsure
Anonymous Coward
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02/11/2019 06:54 AM
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Re: Hairy unkempt mother fucker with a beard
PM Chip.
Truth Reaper

User ID: 75955494
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02/16/2019 08:28 AM

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Re: Hairy unkempt mother fucker with a beard
High and tight with a white beard is how I do it.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 40439541
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02/16/2019 08:33 AM
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Re: Hairy unkempt mother fucker with a beard
Beards are dirtier than toilet seats and totally gross me out. Like pubic hair on your face. Can’t think of a more effective way to make women find you unattractive. Sure there are those one or two older women from Siberia who find them “manly.”

Beards are going back out of style, thank god. Everyone is sick and tired of the icky beard trend now.

eekalert
Anonymous Coward
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02/16/2019 08:35 AM
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Re: Hairy unkempt mother fucker with a beard
thought you were talking to me for a second

grinning
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 27255788


LOL
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 77227614
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02/16/2019 08:37 AM
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Re: Hairy unkempt mother fucker with a beard
Beards are dirtier than toilet seats and totally gross me out. Like pubic hair on your face. Can’t think of a more effective way to make women find you unattractive. Sure there are those one or two older women from Siberia who find them “manly.”

Beards are going back out of style, thank god. Everyone is sick and tired of the icky beard trend now.

eekalert
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 40439541


I don't think you know what you're talking about. Are you a female? Nothing more attractive on my man than a nice beard.
zeizii

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Australia
02/16/2019 08:40 AM
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Re: Hairy unkempt mother fucker with a beard
[link to www.youtube.com (secure)]
LHPaul

User ID: 76998794
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02/16/2019 08:40 AM
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Re: Hairy unkempt mother fucker with a beard
Is this another Chaz Bono thread?
LHPaul