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My husband is very boring at sex! HELP?

 
Jessica
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02/10/2019 10:07 PM
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My husband is very boring at sex! HELP?
About 1 ½ years ago, I tried to tell my husband (of only 2 years!! n.b. we’ve been together for 4 in total) that I miss the passion that used to be between us. I tried talking to him, in a very indirect way at first, about how I was not sexually satisfied with our sex life. One night, I was direct and said I liked being kissed for a while before going straight into it and caressing, touching, licking, etc. His reply was “you’re not some girl I picked up at a bar, you’re my wife” – and he said it in a way that was totally genuine, as if expecting me to go “Awh!” I didn’t say anything. I was just shocked and speechless. My husband’s idea of a wife, it seems, is the woman he no longer needs to try hard with. He can now ‘skip’ all the fuss that is foreplay (although in his mind, the 10 seconds he spends on my boobs constitutes as foreplay) and get to the 'good stuff'. I’ve tried everything to spice up our sex life: Ann Summers has become my most visited store!! Role plays, toys, games, flavored body spreads, you name it, I’ve tried it. It’s not that I can’t turn him on, it’s the ‘sexual journey’ from start to finish that I have a problem with. If this were a set course menu, I’m the one having all the courses, whereas he might have a nibble on the starter but will skip everything else to get to dessert. Because of that, it almost feels as though the purpose of sex (for him) is solely to achieve orgasm (but with the woman he loves). For me, it’s about being touched, caressed, being sensual, exploring, tasting, and it's an amazing form of physical communication. Of course, I’m NOT expecting this type of sex ALL the time... even I like the “wham bam thank you ma’am” on occasion... but these days it feels like that’s the ONLY way we have sex. In his defense, he does try to hold off as long as possible until I climax first, so he’s not selfish or anything. However, he can only last so long and sometimes if I want to keep going, he can’t hold it any longer and then it’s over. And so most times I find myself thinking “I better *** soon or I’m going to miss out!” That’s no way to have sex!!! So the stress of it all is starting to put me off having sex completely. I just can’t be bothered with it anymore. I guess, another reason I hate it, is knowing that it wasn’t like this with his ex-girlfriend (the last girl he was with before he met me). They had lots of passion in the whole 2 years of their relationship (he still keeps some of her letters and some are very sexual in nature, going into detail about what beautiful sex they have and what incredible connection they feel afterwards, etc). And for me, I had that with an ex-boyfriend in the whole 4 years of my relationship with him so I totally get that. I just wish we could have it TOGETHER as a married couple who are in love! I never thought my marriage would be like this. What can I do?! He won’t see a therapist, he won’t listen to me about that as he thinks it’s a waste of time and definitely money. And if I do try talking to him about it, he gets abnormally upset HELP!!
THE AMERICAN INQUISITOR

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02/10/2019 10:14 PM

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Re: My husband is very boring at sex! HELP?
About 1 ½ years ago, I tried to tell my husband (of only 2 years!! n.b. we’ve been together for 4 in total) that I miss the passion that used to be between us. I tried talking to him, in a very indirect way at first, about how I was not sexually satisfied with our sex life. One night, I was direct and said I liked being kissed for a while before going straight into it and caressing, touching, licking, etc. His reply was “you’re not some girl I picked up at a bar, you’re my wife” – and he said it in a way that was totally genuine, as if expecting me to go “Awh!” I didn’t say anything. I was just shocked and speechless. My husband’s idea of a wife, it seems, is the woman he no longer needs to try hard with. He can now ‘skip’ all the fuss that is foreplay (although in his mind, the 10 seconds he spends on my boobs constitutes as foreplay) and get to the 'good stuff'. I’ve tried everything to spice up our sex life: Ann Summers has become my most visited store!! Role plays, toys, games, flavored body spreads, you name it, I’ve tried it. It’s not that I can’t turn him on, it’s the ‘sexual journey’ from start to finish that I have a problem with. If this were a set course menu, I’m the one having all the courses, whereas he might have a nibble on the starter but will skip everything else to get to dessert. Because of that, it almost feels as though the purpose of sex (for him) is solely to achieve orgasm (but with the woman he loves). For me, it’s about being touched, caressed, being sensual, exploring, tasting, and it's an amazing form of physical communication. Of course, I’m NOT expecting this type of sex ALL the time... even I like the “wham bam thank you ma’am” on occasion... but these days it feels like that’s the ONLY way we have sex. In his defense, he does try to hold off as long as possible until I climax first, so he’s not selfish or anything. However, he can only last so long and sometimes if I want to keep going, he can’t hold it any longer and then it’s over. And so most times I find myself thinking “I better *** soon or I’m going to miss out!” That’s no way to have sex!!! So the stress of it all is starting to put me off having sex completely. I just can’t be bothered with it anymore. I guess, another reason I hate it, is knowing that it wasn’t like this with his ex-girlfriend (the last girl he was with before he met me). They had lots of passion in the whole 2 years of their relationship (he still keeps some of her letters and some are very sexual in nature, going into detail about what beautiful sex they have and what incredible connection they feel afterwards, etc). And for me, I had that with an ex-boyfriend in the whole 4 years of my relationship with him so I totally get that. I just wish we could have it TOGETHER as a married couple who are in love! I never thought my marriage would be like this. What can I do?! He won’t see a therapist, he won’t listen to me about that as he thinks it’s a waste of time and definitely money. And if I do try talking to him about it, he gets abnormally upset HELP!!
 Quoting: Jessica 77363338


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brighteyes

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02/10/2019 10:17 PM
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Re: My husband is very boring at sex! HELP?
been there, done that.

happy to be single
Too Dark Park™ Two
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02/10/2019 10:17 PM

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WALL OF TEEEEEEEEXT
Disclaimer: Not a dude. I've tits and a ladyboner. I promise.


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rockon
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02/10/2019 10:20 PM
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Re: My husband is very boring at sex! HELP?
Get a dildo!
Anonymous Coward
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02/10/2019 10:21 PM
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Re: My husband is very boring at sex! HELP?
Or go sit on a telephone pole and STFU!
Fret Wiz
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02/10/2019 10:22 PM

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cantfap
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WyatteSmith
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02/10/2019 10:24 PM

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Deleted....

LOL!!!
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02/10/2019 10:24 PM

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Re: My husband is very boring at sex! HELP?
He's gay
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02/10/2019 10:25 PM

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Re: My husband is very boring at sex! HELP?
I'll need to see a few pics before I will commit to helping.
I am SNOWIE
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02/10/2019 10:35 PM
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Re: My husband is very boring at sex! HELP?
OP, if you’ve put in that much effort, and he’s not responding, the likely cause is because he’s having an affair. His conscience won’t permit him to kiss and caress you because he’s eaten up with guilt. All he can do is fuck you and pretend he’s with his girlfriend while he’s fucking YOU.

That sounds cruel to say, but it’s my first impression.

Look for clues of cheating.
.
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02/10/2019 10:39 PM
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Re: My husband is very boring at sex! HELP?
pics or we don't give a $hit
FlashBuzzkill

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02/10/2019 10:42 PM
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Re: My husband is very boring at sex! HELP?
Lay down the law on him. Explain that your satisfaction depends on more than orgasm. Unless he is willing to engage in more foreplay tell him youre not interested. Honesty can be hard for both of you but in the end it's usually the best course.

He's taking you for granted and to a degree marriage is there to know someone is going to be there. on the other hand so is your bathtub and dishwasher. you both deserve more. sorry to be crude but does 69 work for you both?

You might just have to handcuff his ass to the bed and work him over, lol. Good luck to you both.
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Anonymous Coward
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02/10/2019 10:42 PM
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Anonymous Coward
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02/10/2019 10:43 PM
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Re: My husband is very boring at sex! HELP?
all your answers are here

brighteyes

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02/10/2019 10:44 PM
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Re: My husband is very boring at sex! HELP?
hope she can still laugh after you all tore her up
Anonymous Coward
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02/10/2019 10:45 PM
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Re: My husband is very boring at sex! HELP?
About 1 ½ years ago, I tried to tell my husband (of only 2 years!! n.b. we’ve been together for 4 in total) that I miss the passion that used to be between us. I tried talking to him, in a very indirect way at first, about how I was not sexually satisfied with our sex life. One night, I was direct and said I liked being kissed for a while before going straight into it and caressing, touching, licking, etc. His reply was “you’re not some girl I picked up at a bar, you’re my wife” – and he said it in a way that was totally genuine, as if expecting me to go “Awh!” I didn’t say anything. I was just shocked and speechless. My husband’s idea of a wife, it seems, is the woman he no longer needs to try hard with. He can now ‘skip’ all the fuss that is foreplay (although in his mind, the 10 seconds he spends on my boobs constitutes as foreplay) and get to the 'good stuff'. I’ve tried everything to spice up our sex life: Ann Summers has become my most visited store!! Role plays, toys, games, flavored body spreads, you name it, I’ve tried it. It’s not that I can’t turn him on, it’s the ‘sexual journey’ from start to finish that I have a problem with. If this were a set course menu, I’m the one having all the courses, whereas he might have a nibble on the starter but will skip everything else to get to dessert. Because of that, it almost feels as though the purpose of sex (for him) is solely to achieve orgasm (but with the woman he loves). For me, it’s about being touched, caressed, being sensual, exploring, tasting, and it's an amazing form of physical communication. Of course, I’m NOT expecting this type of sex ALL the time... even I like the “wham bam thank you ma’am” on occasion... but these days it feels like that’s the ONLY way we have sex. In his defense, he does try to hold off as long as possible until I climax first, so he’s not selfish or anything. However, he can only last so long and sometimes if I want to keep going, he can’t hold it any longer and then it’s over. And so most times I find myself thinking “I better *** soon or I’m going to miss out!” That’s no way to have sex!!! So the stress of it all is starting to put me off having sex completely. I just can’t be bothered with it anymore. I guess, another reason I hate it, is knowing that it wasn’t like this with his ex-girlfriend (the last girl he was with before he met me). They had lots of passion in the whole 2 years of their relationship (he still keeps some of her letters and some are very sexual in nature, going into detail about what beautiful sex they have and what incredible connection they feel afterwards, etc). And for me, I had that with an ex-boyfriend in the whole 4 years of my relationship with him so I totally get that. I just wish we could have it TOGETHER as a married couple who are in love! I never thought my marriage would be like this. What can I do?! He won’t see a therapist, he won’t listen to me about that as he thinks it’s a waste of time and definitely money. And if I do try talking to him about it, he gets abnormally upset HELP!!
 Quoting: Jessica 77363338



You seem reasonable to me. You just want him to make a little more effort at sexy time. Lots of women think a guy should be washing dishes, washing laundry and picking up the house before they deserve sex. Your husband just isn't into sex that much. he just wants to get his nuts off and go to sleep. You deserve better.
Anonymous Coward
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02/10/2019 10:45 PM
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Re: My husband is very boring at sex! HELP?
Kiss a girl and eat her box..will make you great again.
Anonymous Coward
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02/10/2019 10:45 PM
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Re: My husband is very boring at sex! HELP?
Maybe he IS gay. How often do you have sex? Everyday?
Anonymous Coward
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02/10/2019 10:46 PM
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Re: My husband is very boring at sex! HELP?
Why don’t you stop posting your problems on the internet and peek in the mirror? Did you see your wall of text? Maybe make some sandwiches and stop nagging him. It’s hard to be sexually attracted to someone who is a narcissist, calls everyone else a narcissist.

Anonymous Coward
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02/10/2019 10:46 PM
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I heard a taser can get that nut for you.....
Anonymous Coward (OP)
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02/10/2019 10:52 PM
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Re: My husband is very boring at sex! HELP?
Maybe he IS gay. How often do you have sex? Everyday?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 77021014


He is not gay as far as I know. He watches porn videos on his phone in the bathroom and doesn't come out for very long time. I caught him once jerking off to a cuckold video. We have sex once in a week and he thinks it is a chore.
DeploraVision ™
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02/10/2019 10:52 PM

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Re: My husband is very boring at sex! HELP?
Show him the all girl porn video you made in college with the cheerleader squad, and he'll snap right out of it, I'll bet.
captain

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Anonymous Coward
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02/10/2019 10:53 PM
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What is your star sign op? What is sign? The answer could be in the stars loool
St. Helens, Mt

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02/10/2019 10:54 PM
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Are you a big fat person?
St. Helens, Mt
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02/10/2019 10:56 PM
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Re: My husband is very boring at sex! HELP?
Maybe he IS gay. How often do you have sex? Everyday?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 77021014


He is not gay as far as I know. He watches porn videos on his phone in the bathroom and doesn't come out for very long time. I caught him once jerking off to a cuckold video. We have sex once in a week and he thinks it is a chore.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 77363338


Sounds like you only care about your needs. Why is it if a couple isn’t having sex, the guy is a homo? Sex is nice, but you don’t get to be a nightmare 345 days a year and expect him to be a stud. What are you contributing? How much do you complain?
Anonymous Coward
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02/10/2019 10:56 PM
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Re: My husband is very boring at sex! HELP?
About 1 ½ years ago, I tried to tell my husband (of only 2 years!! n.b. we’ve been together for 4 in total) that I miss the passion that used to be between us. I tried talking to him, in a very indirect way at first, about how I was not sexually satisfied with our sex life. One night, I was direct and said I liked being kissed for a while before going straight into it and caressing, touching, licking, etc. His reply was “you’re not some girl I picked up at a bar, you’re my wife” – and he said it in a way that was totally genuine, as if expecting me to go “Awh!” I didn’t say anything. I was just shocked and speechless. My husband’s idea of a wife, it seems, is the woman he no longer needs to try hard with. He can now ‘skip’ all the fuss that is foreplay (although in his mind, the 10 seconds he spends on my boobs constitutes as foreplay) and get to the 'good stuff'. I’ve tried everything to spice up our sex life: Ann Summers has become my most visited store!! Role plays, toys, games, flavored body spreads, you name it, I’ve tried it. It’s not that I can’t turn him on, it’s the ‘sexual journey’ from start to finish that I have a problem with. If this were a set course menu, I’m the one having all the courses, whereas he might have a nibble on the starter but will skip everything else to get to dessert. Because of that, it almost feels as though the purpose of sex (for him) is solely to achieve orgasm (but with the woman he loves). For me, it’s about being touched, caressed, being sensual, exploring, tasting, and it's an amazing form of physical communication. Of course, I’m NOT expecting this type of sex ALL the time... even I like the “wham bam thank you ma’am” on occasion... but these days it feels like that’s the ONLY way we have sex. In his defense, he does try to hold off as long as possible until I climax first, so he’s not selfish or anything. However, he can only last so long and sometimes if I want to keep going, he can’t hold it any longer and then it’s over. And so most times I find myself thinking “I better *** soon or I’m going to miss out!” That’s no way to have sex!!! So the stress of it all is starting to put me off having sex completely. I just can’t be bothered with it anymore. I guess, another reason I hate it, is knowing that it wasn’t like this with his ex-girlfriend (the last girl he was with before he met me). They had lots of passion in the whole 2 years of their relationship (he still keeps some of her letters and some are very sexual in nature, going into detail about what beautiful sex they have and what incredible connection they feel afterwards, etc). And for me, I had that with an ex-boyfriend in the whole 4 years of my relationship with him so I totally get that. I just wish we could have it TOGETHER as a married couple who are in love! I never thought my marriage would be like this. What can I do?! He won’t see a therapist, he won’t listen to me about that as he thinks it’s a waste of time and definitely money. And if I do try talking to him about it, he gets abnormally upset HELP!!
 Quoting: Jessica 77363338


Depending on what you look like, Id make sure you blacked out from sheer ecstasy...
Fret Wiz
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02/10/2019 10:58 PM

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Re: My husband is very boring at sex! HELP?
He is not gay as far as I know. He watches porn videos on his phone in the bathroom and doesn't come out for very long time. I caught him once jerking off to a cuckold video. We have sex once in a week and he thinks it is a chore.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 77363338

soclose
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Anonymous Coward
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02/10/2019 10:59 PM
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WALL OF TEEEEEEEEXT
 Quoting: Too Dark Park™ Two


Yeah I gave up a quarter of the way down Bla Bla Bla Yada Yada Yada....

I Feel For Your Husband!
the deplorable ar-15 nut

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02/10/2019 11:01 PM

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he is 5 times a day to this rebflagbikini2wakidukepiclol
A pissed off American veteran.
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02/10/2019 11:02 PM
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Re: My husband is very boring at sex! HELP?
About 1 ½ years ago, I tried to tell my husband (of only 2 years!! n.b. we’ve been together for 4 in total) that I miss the passion that used to be between us. I tried talking to him, in a very indirect way at first, about how I was not sexually satisfied with our sex life. One night, I was direct and said I liked being kissed for a while before going straight into it and caressing, touching, licking, etc. His reply was “you’re not some girl I picked up at a bar, you’re my wife” – and he said it in a way that was totally genuine, as if expecting me to go “Awh!” I didn’t say anything. I was just shocked and speechless. My husband’s idea of a wife, it seems, is the woman he no longer needs to try hard with. He can now ‘skip’ all the fuss that is foreplay (although in his mind, the 10 seconds he spends on my boobs constitutes as foreplay) and get to the 'good stuff'. I’ve tried everything to spice up our sex life: Ann Summers has become my most visited store!! Role plays, toys, games, flavored body spreads, you name it, I’ve tried it. It’s not that I can’t turn him on, it’s the ‘sexual journey’ from start to finish that I have a problem with. If this were a set course menu, I’m the one having all the courses, whereas he might have a nibble on the starter but will skip everything else to get to dessert. Because of that, it almost feels as though the purpose of sex (for him) is solely to achieve orgasm (but with the woman he loves). For me, it’s about being touched, caressed, being sensual, exploring, tasting, and it's an amazing form of physical communication. Of course, I’m NOT expecting this type of sex ALL the time... even I like the “wham bam thank you ma’am” on occasion... but these days it feels like that’s the ONLY way we have sex. In his defense, he does try to hold off as long as possible until I climax first, so he’s not selfish or anything. However, he can only last so long and sometimes if I want to keep going, he can’t hold it any longer and then it’s over. And so most times I find myself thinking “I better *** soon or I’m going to miss out!” That’s no way to have sex!!! So the stress of it all is starting to put me off having sex completely. I just can’t be bothered with it anymore. I guess, another reason I hate it, is knowing that it wasn’t like this with his ex-girlfriend (the last girl he was with before he met me). They had lots of passion in the whole 2 years of their relationship (he still keeps some of her letters and some are very sexual in nature, going into detail about what beautiful sex they have and what incredible connection they feel afterwards, etc). And for me, I had that with an ex-boyfriend in the whole 4 years of my relationship with him so I totally get that. I just wish we could have it TOGETHER as a married couple who are in love! I never thought my marriage would be like this. What can I do?! He won’t see a therapist, he won’t listen to me about that as he thinks it’s a waste of time and definitely money. And if I do try talking to him about it, he gets abnormally upset HELP!!
 Quoting: Jessica 77363338
Find a Black guy,or 3..that will get y'all goin!!