My husband is very boring at sex! HELP? | |
THE AMERICAN INQUISITOR User ID: 76826513 United States 02/10/2019 10:14 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | About 1 ½ years ago, I tried to tell my husband (of only 2 years!! n.b. we’ve been together for 4 in total) that I miss the passion that used to be between us. I tried talking to him, in a very indirect way at first, about how I was not sexually satisfied with our sex life. One night, I was direct and said I liked being kissed for a while before going straight into it and caressing, touching, licking, etc. His reply was “you’re not some girl I picked up at a bar, you’re my wife” – and he said it in a way that was totally genuine, as if expecting me to go “Awh!” I didn’t say anything. I was just shocked and speechless. My husband’s idea of a wife, it seems, is the woman he no longer needs to try hard with. He can now ‘skip’ all the fuss that is foreplay (although in his mind, the 10 seconds he spends on my boobs constitutes as foreplay) and get to the 'good stuff'. I’ve tried everything to spice up our sex life: Ann Summers has become my most visited store!! Role plays, toys, games, flavored body spreads, you name it, I’ve tried it. It’s not that I can’t turn him on, it’s the ‘sexual journey’ from start to finish that I have a problem with. If this were a set course menu, I’m the one having all the courses, whereas he might have a nibble on the starter but will skip everything else to get to dessert. Because of that, it almost feels as though the purpose of sex (for him) is solely to achieve orgasm (but with the woman he loves). For me, it’s about being touched, caressed, being sensual, exploring, tasting, and it's an amazing form of physical communication. Of course, I’m NOT expecting this type of sex ALL the time... even I like the “wham bam thank you ma’am” on occasion... but these days it feels like that’s the ONLY way we have sex. In his defense, he does try to hold off as long as possible until I climax first, so he’s not selfish or anything. However, he can only last so long and sometimes if I want to keep going, he can’t hold it any longer and then it’s over. And so most times I find myself thinking “I better *** soon or I’m going to miss out!” That’s no way to have sex!!! So the stress of it all is starting to put me off having sex completely. I just can’t be bothered with it anymore. I guess, another reason I hate it, is knowing that it wasn’t like this with his ex-girlfriend (the last girl he was with before he met me). They had lots of passion in the whole 2 years of their relationship (he still keeps some of her letters and some are very sexual in nature, going into detail about what beautiful sex they have and what incredible connection they feel afterwards, etc). And for me, I had that with an ex-boyfriend in the whole 4 years of my relationship with him so I totally get that. I just wish we could have it TOGETHER as a married couple who are in love! I never thought my marriage would be like this. What can I do?! He won’t see a therapist, he won’t listen to me about that as he thinks it’s a waste of time and definitely money. And if I do try talking to him about it, he gets abnormally upset HELP!! Quoting: Jessica 77363338 :gtggggwgwgtgtg3: :nose23l36: SCOTLAND FOREVER America is the Grand Experiment..Let us not Fail.. Listed Number 1 in the Guinness World Record Book of EXTRA LARGE Steel Balls Opinions are like Farts..Only the very best linger on and on Great Men wake up to slay spam tards. Most are content to chase lizards. Therein lies the difference. Live Brave.LIVE FREE. Murphy is my patron Saint. I SIGN MY NEG KARMA |
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Anonymous Coward User ID: 75984437 United States 02/10/2019 10:35 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | That sounds cruel to say, but it’s my first impression. Look for clues of cheating. . |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 48024189 United States 02/10/2019 10:39 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
FlashBuzzkill User ID: 75251329 United States 02/10/2019 10:42 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Lay down the law on him. Explain that your satisfaction depends on more than orgasm. Unless he is willing to engage in more foreplay tell him youre not interested. Honesty can be hard for both of you but in the end it's usually the best course. He's taking you for granted and to a degree marriage is there to know someone is going to be there. on the other hand so is your bathtub and dishwasher. you both deserve more. sorry to be crude but does 69 work for you both? You might just have to handcuff his ass to the bed and work him over, lol. Good luck to you both. Gen. John B Gordon and Gen. Nathan Bedford Forrest were the finest citizen-soldiers birthed in America. |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 77288914 United States 02/10/2019 10:42 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
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brighteyes User ID: 77237948 United States 02/10/2019 10:44 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 77021014 United States 02/10/2019 10:45 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | About 1 ½ years ago, I tried to tell my husband (of only 2 years!! n.b. we’ve been together for 4 in total) that I miss the passion that used to be between us. I tried talking to him, in a very indirect way at first, about how I was not sexually satisfied with our sex life. One night, I was direct and said I liked being kissed for a while before going straight into it and caressing, touching, licking, etc. His reply was “you’re not some girl I picked up at a bar, you’re my wife” – and he said it in a way that was totally genuine, as if expecting me to go “Awh!” I didn’t say anything. I was just shocked and speechless. My husband’s idea of a wife, it seems, is the woman he no longer needs to try hard with. He can now ‘skip’ all the fuss that is foreplay (although in his mind, the 10 seconds he spends on my boobs constitutes as foreplay) and get to the 'good stuff'. I’ve tried everything to spice up our sex life: Ann Summers has become my most visited store!! Role plays, toys, games, flavored body spreads, you name it, I’ve tried it. It’s not that I can’t turn him on, it’s the ‘sexual journey’ from start to finish that I have a problem with. If this were a set course menu, I’m the one having all the courses, whereas he might have a nibble on the starter but will skip everything else to get to dessert. Because of that, it almost feels as though the purpose of sex (for him) is solely to achieve orgasm (but with the woman he loves). For me, it’s about being touched, caressed, being sensual, exploring, tasting, and it's an amazing form of physical communication. Of course, I’m NOT expecting this type of sex ALL the time... even I like the “wham bam thank you ma’am” on occasion... but these days it feels like that’s the ONLY way we have sex. In his defense, he does try to hold off as long as possible until I climax first, so he’s not selfish or anything. However, he can only last so long and sometimes if I want to keep going, he can’t hold it any longer and then it’s over. And so most times I find myself thinking “I better *** soon or I’m going to miss out!” That’s no way to have sex!!! So the stress of it all is starting to put me off having sex completely. I just can’t be bothered with it anymore. I guess, another reason I hate it, is knowing that it wasn’t like this with his ex-girlfriend (the last girl he was with before he met me). They had lots of passion in the whole 2 years of their relationship (he still keeps some of her letters and some are very sexual in nature, going into detail about what beautiful sex they have and what incredible connection they feel afterwards, etc). And for me, I had that with an ex-boyfriend in the whole 4 years of my relationship with him so I totally get that. I just wish we could have it TOGETHER as a married couple who are in love! I never thought my marriage would be like this. What can I do?! He won’t see a therapist, he won’t listen to me about that as he thinks it’s a waste of time and definitely money. And if I do try talking to him about it, he gets abnormally upset HELP!! Quoting: Jessica 77363338 You seem reasonable to me. You just want him to make a little more effort at sexy time. Lots of women think a guy should be washing dishes, washing laundry and picking up the house before they deserve sex. Your husband just isn't into sex that much. he just wants to get his nuts off and go to sleep. You deserve better. |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 68939984 United States 02/10/2019 10:45 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 77021014 United States 02/10/2019 10:45 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 77339048 United States 02/10/2019 10:46 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Why don’t you stop posting your problems on the internet and peek in the mirror? Did you see your wall of text? Maybe make some sandwiches and stop nagging him. It’s hard to be sexually attracted to someone who is a narcissist, calls everyone else a narcissist. |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 77315315 United States 02/10/2019 10:46 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward (OP) User ID: 77363338 United States 02/10/2019 10:52 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | He is not gay as far as I know. He watches porn videos on his phone in the bathroom and doesn't come out for very long time. I caught him once jerking off to a cuckold video. We have sex once in a week and he thinks it is a chore. |
DeploraVision ™ User ID: 61401388 United States 02/10/2019 10:52 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 2876001 United States 02/10/2019 10:53 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
St. Helens, Mt User ID: 10592376 United States 02/10/2019 10:54 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 77339048 United States 02/10/2019 10:56 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | He is not gay as far as I know. He watches porn videos on his phone in the bathroom and doesn't come out for very long time. I caught him once jerking off to a cuckold video. We have sex once in a week and he thinks it is a chore. Sounds like you only care about your needs. Why is it if a couple isn’t having sex, the guy is a homo? Sex is nice, but you don’t get to be a nightmare 345 days a year and expect him to be a stud. What are you contributing? How much do you complain? |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 77360040 United States 02/10/2019 10:56 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | About 1 ½ years ago, I tried to tell my husband (of only 2 years!! n.b. we’ve been together for 4 in total) that I miss the passion that used to be between us. I tried talking to him, in a very indirect way at first, about how I was not sexually satisfied with our sex life. One night, I was direct and said I liked being kissed for a while before going straight into it and caressing, touching, licking, etc. His reply was “you’re not some girl I picked up at a bar, you’re my wife” – and he said it in a way that was totally genuine, as if expecting me to go “Awh!” I didn’t say anything. I was just shocked and speechless. My husband’s idea of a wife, it seems, is the woman he no longer needs to try hard with. He can now ‘skip’ all the fuss that is foreplay (although in his mind, the 10 seconds he spends on my boobs constitutes as foreplay) and get to the 'good stuff'. I’ve tried everything to spice up our sex life: Ann Summers has become my most visited store!! Role plays, toys, games, flavored body spreads, you name it, I’ve tried it. It’s not that I can’t turn him on, it’s the ‘sexual journey’ from start to finish that I have a problem with. If this were a set course menu, I’m the one having all the courses, whereas he might have a nibble on the starter but will skip everything else to get to dessert. Because of that, it almost feels as though the purpose of sex (for him) is solely to achieve orgasm (but with the woman he loves). For me, it’s about being touched, caressed, being sensual, exploring, tasting, and it's an amazing form of physical communication. Of course, I’m NOT expecting this type of sex ALL the time... even I like the “wham bam thank you ma’am” on occasion... but these days it feels like that’s the ONLY way we have sex. In his defense, he does try to hold off as long as possible until I climax first, so he’s not selfish or anything. However, he can only last so long and sometimes if I want to keep going, he can’t hold it any longer and then it’s over. And so most times I find myself thinking “I better *** soon or I’m going to miss out!” That’s no way to have sex!!! So the stress of it all is starting to put me off having sex completely. I just can’t be bothered with it anymore. I guess, another reason I hate it, is knowing that it wasn’t like this with his ex-girlfriend (the last girl he was with before he met me). They had lots of passion in the whole 2 years of their relationship (he still keeps some of her letters and some are very sexual in nature, going into detail about what beautiful sex they have and what incredible connection they feel afterwards, etc). And for me, I had that with an ex-boyfriend in the whole 4 years of my relationship with him so I totally get that. I just wish we could have it TOGETHER as a married couple who are in love! I never thought my marriage would be like this. What can I do?! He won’t see a therapist, he won’t listen to me about that as he thinks it’s a waste of time and definitely money. And if I do try talking to him about it, he gets abnormally upset HELP!! Quoting: Jessica 77363338 Depending on what you look like, Id make sure you blacked out from sheer ecstasy... |
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Anonymous Coward User ID: 77090401 United States 02/10/2019 11:02 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | About 1 ½ years ago, I tried to tell my husband (of only 2 years!! n.b. we’ve been together for 4 in total) that I miss the passion that used to be between us. I tried talking to him, in a very indirect way at first, about how I was not sexually satisfied with our sex life. One night, I was direct and said I liked being kissed for a while before going straight into it and caressing, touching, licking, etc. His reply was “you’re not some girl I picked up at a bar, you’re my wife” – and he said it in a way that was totally genuine, as if expecting me to go “Awh!” I didn’t say anything. I was just shocked and speechless. My husband’s idea of a wife, it seems, is the woman he no longer needs to try hard with. He can now ‘skip’ all the fuss that is foreplay (although in his mind, the 10 seconds he spends on my boobs constitutes as foreplay) and get to the 'good stuff'. I’ve tried everything to spice up our sex life: Ann Summers has become my most visited store!! Role plays, toys, games, flavored body spreads, you name it, I’ve tried it. It’s not that I can’t turn him on, it’s the ‘sexual journey’ from start to finish that I have a problem with. If this were a set course menu, I’m the one having all the courses, whereas he might have a nibble on the starter but will skip everything else to get to dessert. Because of that, it almost feels as though the purpose of sex (for him) is solely to achieve orgasm (but with the woman he loves). For me, it’s about being touched, caressed, being sensual, exploring, tasting, and it's an amazing form of physical communication. Of course, I’m NOT expecting this type of sex ALL the time... even I like the “wham bam thank you ma’am” on occasion... but these days it feels like that’s the ONLY way we have sex. In his defense, he does try to hold off as long as possible until I climax first, so he’s not selfish or anything. However, he can only last so long and sometimes if I want to keep going, he can’t hold it any longer and then it’s over. And so most times I find myself thinking “I better *** soon or I’m going to miss out!” That’s no way to have sex!!! So the stress of it all is starting to put me off having sex completely. I just can’t be bothered with it anymore. I guess, another reason I hate it, is knowing that it wasn’t like this with his ex-girlfriend (the last girl he was with before he met me). They had lots of passion in the whole 2 years of their relationship (he still keeps some of her letters and some are very sexual in nature, going into detail about what beautiful sex they have and what incredible connection they feel afterwards, etc). And for me, I had that with an ex-boyfriend in the whole 4 years of my relationship with him so I totally get that. I just wish we could have it TOGETHER as a married couple who are in love! I never thought my marriage would be like this. What can I do?! He won’t see a therapist, he won’t listen to me about that as he thinks it’s a waste of time and definitely money. And if I do try talking to him about it, he gets abnormally upset HELP!! Quoting: Jessica 77363338 |