Sheesh, I had a heart attack last night

Hello sweet CG!

I think of you often. I'm glad to read that things are improving. It's a really crappy situation - no doubt. I know you are doing your best to get through it. Please know that you have LOTS of people rooting for you and spiritually loving on you, even if we aren't able to physically be there. And you WILL get through it!

When it happened to me it hurt real bad for just a moment then whatever makes you feel pain started to fade as I was dying . The pain was still there but I was losing feeling of everything as it progressed .

I thought omg this is it and atleast ill never be homeless and a strange sense of relief came over me as if the burden of life and the wonder when death would come for me was passing as the heart attack proceeded .

In that moment I embraced my end and had a sense of life being in the past tense even though I wasn't quite gone yet .

Then the blockage broke free and life as if on a sling shot rebounded back into me .

Needless to say I felt gyped. I was angry I had been at peace and got sucked back into this bullshit .

I've been experiencing heart pain these past few days . I am now not at all afraid of it happening again , just afraid I'll with no medical intervention live through it . I pray this next go around I dont make it .

That being said that night it had happened. I had simply gone home and went to bed . Never sought medical attention .

I then after that knew I was not afraid of dying and all the times Id hoped it came soon I meant it .

Love you, CrankyFairy....


The appt. at the cardiologist was interesting. He asked me if I had any pain or discomfort, and I had to tell him yes, that I'm having some angina issues, but not badly, and that it mostly seemed to be associated with when I smoked a cig. But I'm definitely off of cigs now, and on the vape. He said he has no problem with me vaping. That's cool.

He told me that there is a small artery that may need a stent and that this is the reason for the angina, but he didn't want to do that one while I was having a heart attack and they were stenting the large, main artery. He said it was too hard and tricky to get to, and that it could wait. There's not a clog in there, it's just starting to constrict kinda badly.

He gave me a 'script for nitroglycerin....and I thought for a minute there he was going to pull me from my job due to the angina. That would've just about ruined me. I cannot tell y'all how much I do love my job. I would definitely be heart broken without it. Scared the kwap outta me for a moment there.

I am very much going to change my diet. I've already started. I'm also now taking the serrapeptase, which I hope is going to clear up that one small problematic artery. I'm thinking about taking 240,000 SPUs, rather than just 120,000, after I do a bit more research and make sure that's okay...but I don't see how it could be bad. It's just an enzyme, and I have read of doses that high.

I have six weeks to get that under control, or he is going to have put a stent in that artery also....only six weeks.

I suppose that wouldn't be so bad, but anytime someone has to have a procedure done where they're anesthetized, there are always risks. Heh, plus it would be cool as all get out to get it fixed up under my own steam!

A great good that is coming out of the heart attack and the stent being put in is that no one can believe I had such a dire heart attack. Everyone thinks I look wonderful and happy, that I look like the picture of health!

For sure, since the stent was put in and that artery was opened up I most definitely feel like I've walked out of a most dense fog, and right into the sunshine shining where there are angels singing.

I'm going to pull myself outta this mess, I'm telling y'all!

From my healing heart to all of youse guyses....

Awww, lovey....

The thing is, I'd be afraid of just having mild permanent damage to my heart, and then a very slow and painful death....and not just dying on the spot.

I do not want to be like a man I saw at the cardiologist's office today, on oxygen and looking gray in the face. I so do not want to be that person on a shit ton of medicine just so I wasn't in a huge amount of pain, with death still too far off.

Fate can be the cruelest of mistresses, and I do not want to tempt her.

My healing heart especially to yours, lovey....

Last Edited by cosmicgypsy on 03/13/2019 06:00 PM

Thank you, Chip....

Actually, lowered estrogen kills it as a result of menopause. But estrogen can be supplemented to improve overall health as well as bring back libido.

Plenty of post-menopausal 60+ year old women out there that are using their toy boxes!

Beyond sex drive, your estrogen levels play a CRITICAL role in your overall health. Chronically low estrogen (testosterone in men) causes heart disease, cancer, and other illnesses and maladies.

Get your E levels checked. And believe it or not, you DO require a small amount of testosterone as well. Get both tested, but don’t accept the old “well, your levels are low but still within normal range”. Each person’s “normal” is different. Your levels need to be OPTIMAL.

GET TESTED.

.

I will check into it.

I'm really not worried about not having sex. I'm very happy living alone, without the stress of being in a relationship. Very happy.

There are so many changes required of me right this minute - and I do mean RIGHT THIS MINUTE - that adding another test, another pill, any other thing on top of what I already have to do can become f'n overwhelming.

...I do however understand about being in full optimal health and that of course hormone levels are none of the least important to optimal health.

I will talk to the Internist about it when I see him in April....but for right now, I have JUST quit smoking cigs, my diet is all changed up, and I'm adding helpful supplements (that aren't cheap) for me...and that's an awful lot.

I really am dancing as fast as I can right now, lovey.

Thank you so much for your post, and your care....

....I really am dancing as fast as I can. I'm trying and working hard to get myself fixed up, and healthy.

I'm not sure I can take anymore suggestions of what to take and what tests I need to get done. Don't take a statin, don't take anything a doctor prescribes me, is what I read most often. My god, and I'm not even a pharma person.

It's just fucking enough wondering if I'm going to wake up the next morning. It's fucking scary assed shit having a heart attack.

I very well know I have to work hard to get myself well again. There's a shit ton of stuff I need to do in order to be in better health than not.

I mean, it's not just the heart attack. I had nine small bowel obstructions last year, one surgery, and very uncomfortable problems with my toy box. I've had so many tests run the last almost two years, so many f'n pharmaceuticals given to me...I'm sick of having to see doctors and getting poked and prodded and cut into.

Perhaps I should just stop talking about it, so no one else comes at me with more suggestions of what I should and shouldn't do.

I thought perhaps maybe I could tell my story of recovery on here, and maybe help some other with their problems....but it gets hard with, just everything.

I'm really not anyone another should or could model themselves after.

Spiritually, yes, I'm a powerhouse...but physically, not so much.

Heh, I should probably just keep my fingers to myself.

Heh, and thanks for reading my lil meltdown. It just really does get to be a lot to take in, all that's happened the last nearly two years.

I am strong....I guess I just needed to blow off some steam.

Really happy to hear this!
I'm so glad you are feeling better than ever!

You are always in my prayers.
Love you friend!

Quitting smoking is the number one most important thing you can do to avoid another heart attack.

The GLP advice being given is well-intentioned, but much of it is naive. Holistic and natural, yes, but mostly treating the symptoms rather than the underlying cause.

Chronically low estrogen IS a direct cause of heart disease and cancer. Getting your E levels to optimal is probably the second most important thing you can do, and it’s not expensive. The money you save on cigarettes will more than offset the cost of estrogen pills.

All the best to you, sweetie. We want you to stick around a looooong time!

Love ya, sister....

Thank you dear friend and Love you back!

That is a GREAT start! Keep it up!
ps. You are SOOOOOO lucky to have a job you love! It's a rare thing.

Instant karma is a bitch.

My son just called me because the electricity has been down in Cloudcroft due to the bad wind storm we had in this area Wednesday. I did see them Wednesday because they came down due to the electricity being out, and then they stayed in a motel down here yesterday evening, and I saw them then also. I have to say neither of them asked me how I was doing, but I also didn't expect them to.

My son was calling me because their apt. is 35 degrees right now, they need to work, and they are concerned about their cat. They asked me if I could keep their cat here for them overnight until the electricity gets turned back on.

Heh, my cat, Lil She, is a badass crap monster. I have no doubt a fight between the two would happen. I told them I could keep Phee, their cat, in the bathroom, but that if she tore the door up trying to get out they would have to replace it, or if she got out and Phee and Lil She got in a fight and if Lil She had any damage done that they would have to be responsible for the Vet bill.

I also told him stress is one of my biggest enemies right now, and if these cats got in a fight...well, I'm not sure how I would handle that physically. I would hope okay, but there are no guarantees for me right now.

My son told me he didn't know what else to do....again, instant karma is a bitch....and I AM NOT enjoying saying that.

I told him he could call a Vet's office down here and see how much it would be for them to house Phee overnight, too. This seemed like the best of suggestions. He said he's just thinking about leaving Phee in their apartment, thinking she would be okay for one night, in case they don't get the electricity on today. They can stay in the hotel where they work at up there, but that may have to be them sleeping in the lobby if there are no rooms available. His girlfriend sounded really put off about that.

Isn't it funny, in a not hilarious way, that all of the sudden they need MY help?

I did offer help, but it does come with conditions....I have money saved, but that's (now) for an emergency with me, not for a cat...not even my cat. I mean, I canceled my road trip I've been planning and sooo looking forward to, because I don't know what's going to happen with me from day to day.

Sheesh, my doctor almost pulled me off my job on Wednesday because I'm having angina and have another artery that is going to need a stent in six weeks, unless the plaque is somehow reduced. I've been sitting and watching youtube videos since getting home from work on the ways I can get the plaque in my arteries reduced, so I maybe don't have to have another stent put in.

My son doesn't even know about the angina and other stent needing to go in because he's not asked how I'm doing...and I'm not going to put my health issues at him anymore, because he has not showed a care one about them to begin with.

It's so strange and oddly - in a fucked up way - appropriate that this is happening, with him now needing my help.

I hope he learns something from this, but I'm not holding my breath.

Seriously, I don't know why they don't just put Phee at a vet's for the night. It would be the easiest solution if they're concerned she'd freeze to death overnight....although I and he don't think that would happen.

Lawdy, life and its challenges....

the cat would be fine with a blanket/s .. Talk you soon!

I think the cat will be fine too. I have a feral cat that sleeps right next to my front door and she's fat and happy.

Well, I've called him twice, no answer, and texted him that I called the vet's office and it's only $25 a night, but of course, no response back.

I think the cat will be fine in their apartment, but $25 is not a whole lot. They have the money for it. They're not broke. They both work.

Harhar....I swear to god, if they're mad at me because I didn't think it was the best idea to have her here, I'm going to bust a gut lmao....because they'll both be acting like spoiled little children not getting their way.

I think that was super inconsiderate for them to ask you too, especially since the cats won't get along. it's their responsibility, be glad it isn't a child they can't take care of.

that^^^ also, you should have just said no. draw your boundaries. your cat comes first .. and You!

Last Edited by rewind on 03/15/2019 06:27 PM

Hey, wishing you the best.

I was one of those folks who people could not ever see quitting cigarettes.
I was a big smoker, had been since I was 15.

Yes, I quit several times. Had no trouble quitting when I became pregnant or had young children. But I picked them up with the stresses of living, we all have them and we all know how bad it can be.


I have to tell you, I finally figured out the way to just stop for good. I will admit to the technique of a plan wherein I smoked an entire pack, one right after the other and left the full ashtray right by my bed.

And past that, I just simply never again took a puff. No smoking at a party, not when someone came and offered me my brand, not with a beer or at the club, not a puff ever. Not one.

And that simple trick did it for me. I've been quit for 23 years.

But they still smell great. I do love not smoking. Like with all bad habits, I'd like to say the hell with the world sometimes and pick it up again. My friend did that... quit for 15 years, picked one up and in a month had a full fledged habit going again.

But you CAN do it. And you CAN love not smoking.

My best to you!!!

wow, that must not have been pleasant!

my husband was very encouraging when I was trying to quit. I was out of cigarettes one day and he took my keys and I had to walk a mile in the snow to get them and a mile back. lol

thnks for star, hope you will be well...

Well, it is very difficult for me to not to help him out, because love....I mean, I'm not hurt and angry anymore, I've dealt with that part of this. I've resolved myself to my son not taking an interest like I think he should....and that's the thing, I, ME, had expectations.

Personally? I do think it took some chutzpah for them to ask...heh, did they not see the irony?

But the fact of the matter is, I will help my son whenever I need to, I cannot not help him. I'm not capable. I just can't be like that. I'm not a vengeful person.

He just responded to my text and said they're leaving the cat in their cabin tonight. I'm sure she'll be okay.

It was my pleasure, lovey....

I'm on the vape stick, 6 mg. nicotine, not so much, and the cardiologist was totally cool with it. He told me there's 162 chemicals added to cigarettes. That number has jumped up over the years...WOW! The fuckers really are trying to kill us.

Harhar, and there ain't no way in hell's dark quarter I'm going to smoke a whole pack of cigarettes like that. I'd probably screw up the other artery, and have another f'n heart attack. I have no doubt that's what put me over the edge the night I had the heart attack, because I had smoked most of a pack in like eight hours....jeez, I write that and I feel like the biggest dumbass all over again. Lawdy.

No way, no day....never, ever....

I have zero cravings for cigs when I vape. I'm just glad it doesn't make me choke like before the stent was put in.

Thank you for your words of support, lovey....

Daaaang, my dinner is GOOD!

A bunch of organic kale I cooked for only 15 minutes. I put apple cider vinegar on that. An organic Fuji apple, and a glass of Berry Boost.


I forgot how yummy eating vegetarian can be....

I know! I need to eat more fresh veggies. It makes you feel super after a few days!

Everything I'm eating and drinking is anti-inflammatory....

It is pretty simple really. After quitting carbs the hunger pains are extreme for a few days but then after, not hungry and it takes less to feel satisfied, I notice? I can't wait for summer!