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| 11:25 AM | ||
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| 11:25 AM | ||
Parents need to stop trying to be their kids best friend. | |
| Anonymous Coward User ID: 73106219  United States03/10/2019 05:45 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
| Anonymous Coward (OP) User ID: 73106219 United States03/10/2019 06:27 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
| Anonymous Coward User ID: 77440104  Germany03/10/2019 06:31 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
| Anonymous Coward User ID: 77441533  Bahamas03/10/2019 06:37 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
| Anonymous Coward (OP) User ID: 73106219 United States03/10/2019 06:45 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | One parenting technique that is sure to set your kid up for failure is to be his/her friend. Quoting: Anonymous Coward 77441533 And yet these parents today can't seem to stop wanting to be bff's with their kids. I love my kids but the idea of being friends with them is insane to me. Friendly, cordial, kind, yeah. Friends. No. |
| Anonymous Coward User ID: 77440104 Germany03/10/2019 06:48 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | One parenting technique that is sure to set your kid up for failure is to be his/her friend. Quoting: Anonymous Coward 77441533 And yet these parents today can't seem to stop wanting to be bff's with their kids. I love my kids but the idea of being friends with them is insane to me. Friendly, cordial, kind, yeah. Friends. No. You are the teacher and guide not the fucking friend |
BRIEF  User ID: 39607259 United States03/10/2019 06:50 AM  Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | What do you do with friends? Go to a movie, out to dinner, yes...we like to go fishing, shooting guns, riding go-carts and 4 wheelers, bowling and indoor games...yeah, I am Dad first, but I'm also fun to hang out with...I'm a grandpa too but I will never lose my fun relationship with my family, they are my friends. I never forgive and I never forget I am a licensed firearm holder. I will, under protection of law, use lethal force if attacked.  |
| Anonymous Coward (OP) User ID: 73106219 United States03/10/2019 07:20 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | What do you do with friends? Go to a movie, out to dinner, yes...we like to go fishing, shooting guns, riding go-carts and 4 wheelers, bowling and indoor games...yeah, I am Dad first, but I'm also fun to hang out with...I'm a grandpa too but I will never lose my fun relationship with my family, they are my friends. Quoting: BRIEF It's not about what you do as much as what you say? People talk differently with their friends. Raunchy, in bad taste, all the things you shouldn't talk with your kids about. I go fishing and shooting with my kids. I teach them the do's and don'ts. I help them figure it all out. Friendly behavior is different than friends. I am fun to hang out with as well but my kids know that I am their parent not their friend. I am the one you lays down the law and tells it like it is. I won't coddle their feelings the way people do with their friends. I won't romanticize the world, life or anything else just to spare their feelings. I won't tell them they can do or be anything they want. Because it's not true. If they suck I tell them they suck and to either try harder or move on. Parent first and always. Friendly yes, friend no. |
| BRIEF User ID: 39607259 United States03/10/2019 07:24 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | What do you do with friends? Go to a movie, out to dinner, yes...we like to go fishing, shooting guns, riding go-carts and 4 wheelers, bowling and indoor games...yeah, I am Dad first, but I'm also fun to hang out with...I'm a grandpa too but I will never lose my fun relationship with my family, they are my friends. Quoting: BRIEF It's not about what you do as much as what you say? People talk differently with their friends. Raunchy, in bad taste, all the things you shouldn't talk with your kids about. I go fishing and shooting with my kids. I teach them the do's and don'ts. I help them figure it all out. Friendly behavior is different than friends. I am fun to hang out with as well but my kids know that I am their parent not their friend. I am the one you lays down the law and tells it like it is. I won't coddle their feelings the way people do with their friends. I won't romanticize the world, life or anything else just to spare their feelings. I won't tell them they can do or be anything they want. Because it's not true. If they suck I tell them they suck and to either try harder or move on. Parent first and always. Friendly yes, friend no. I'm not so black and white. There are off-limit topics, or details of such, but we have age appropriate conversations and share ideas like friends and people who are close... I never forgive and I never forget I am a licensed firearm holder. I will, under protection of law, use lethal force if attacked. |
| BRIEF User ID: 39607259 United States03/10/2019 07:26 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Logically, if you have two or more biological computers living together (people/family) then why wouldn't you want to exchange ideas and be their friend? I never forgive and I never forget I am a licensed firearm holder. I will, under protection of law, use lethal force if attacked. |
| Anonymous Coward User ID: 77440104 Germany03/10/2019 07:27 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
| BRIEF User ID: 39607259 United States03/10/2019 07:28 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Logically, if you have two or more biological computers living together (people/family) then why wouldn't you want to exchange ideas and be their friend? Quoting: BRIEF fuck friends Those are fun too... I never forgive and I never forget I am a licensed firearm holder. I will, under protection of law, use lethal force if attacked. |
| tkwasny User ID: 75781181 United States03/10/2019 07:29 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | The same with all leadership. Bosses, superior officers and senior enlisted, matriarchs and patriarchs. Being placed in a position of leadership means there are things you must sacrifice. Step up or get to the back of the line. Lead, follow or get out of the way. |
| BRIEF User ID: 39607259 United States03/10/2019 07:34 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | The same with all leadership. Quoting: tkwasny Bosses, superior officers and senior enlisted, matriarchs and patriarchs. Being placed in a position of leadership means there are things you must sacrifice. Step up or get to the back of the line. Lead, follow or get out of the way. Because I love, and want my children to exceed my own abilities, I will step out of the way at times...like when I taught my youngest to bowl. His style was unique, but I let him develop it and he averages above 200, whereas I'm a 150-160 bowler I never forgive and I never forget I am a licensed firearm holder. I will, under protection of law, use lethal force if attacked. |
| Anonymous Coward (OP) User ID: 73106219 United States03/10/2019 07:44 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | The same with all leadership. Quoting: tkwasny Bosses, superior officers and senior enlisted, matriarchs and patriarchs. Being placed in a position of leadership means there are things you must sacrifice. Step up or get to the back of the line. Lead, follow or get out of the way. Because I love, and want my children to exceed my own abilities, I will step out of the way at times...like when I taught my youngest to bowl. His style was unique, but I let him develop it and he averages above 200, whereas I'm a 150-160 bowler I would never question a parents love for their children. To "step out of the way" "at times"? All the time. as parents we step aside and allow failure. We allow heartache and pain. Without those learning experiences our children never truly grow. They simply look to use to make sure that what they are doing is okay. |
| BRIEF User ID: 39607259 United States03/10/2019 07:48 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | The same with all leadership. Quoting: tkwasny Bosses, superior officers and senior enlisted, matriarchs and patriarchs. Being placed in a position of leadership means there are things you must sacrifice. Step up or get to the back of the line. Lead, follow or get out of the way. Because I love, and want my children to exceed my own abilities, I will step out of the way at times...like when I taught my youngest to bowl. His style was unique, but I let him develop it and he averages above 200, whereas I'm a 150-160 bowler I would never question a parents love for their children. To "step out of the way" "at times"? All the time. as parents we step aside and allow failure. We allow heartache and pain. Without those learning experiences our children never truly grow. They simply look to use to make sure that what they are doing is okay. Right, but when it comes time to talk about their relationship worries or whatnot, you don't become the friend and listen? maybe offer friendly advice that has nothing to do with brushing their teeth or putting gas in the car?? I never forgive and I never forget I am a licensed firearm holder. I will, under protection of law, use lethal force if attacked. |
| Anonymous Coward User ID: 63927796 United States03/10/2019 07:50 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
| Anonymous Coward User ID: 77440104 Germany03/10/2019 07:51 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
| Anonymous Coward (OP) User ID: 73106219 United States03/10/2019 07:52 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | The same with all leadership. Quoting: tkwasny Bosses, superior officers and senior enlisted, matriarchs and patriarchs. Being placed in a position of leadership means there are things you must sacrifice. Step up or get to the back of the line. Lead, follow or get out of the way. Because I love, and want my children to exceed my own abilities, I will step out of the way at times...like when I taught my youngest to bowl. His style was unique, but I let him develop it and he averages above 200, whereas I'm a 150-160 bowler I would never question a parents love for their children. To "step out of the way" "at times"? All the time. as parents we step aside and allow failure. We allow heartache and pain. Without those learning experiences our children never truly grow. They simply look to use to make sure that what they are doing is okay. Right, but when it comes time to talk about their relationship worries or whatnot, you don't become the friend and listen? maybe offer friendly advice that has nothing to do with brushing their teeth or putting gas in the car?? I listen as a parent with decades of experience. I offer advice based on personal experience and life experience. I use logic and reasoning. I talk in a tone that denotes I care but ultimately it's their life and they need to decide. Live and learn not coddle and hope. Every parent has a different approach but being friends is a sure way to set them up for failure in life, love and their future. |
| BRIEF User ID: 39607259 United States03/10/2019 07:54 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | ... Quoting: BRIEF Because I love, and want my children to exceed my own abilities, I will step out of the way at times...like when I taught my youngest to bowl. His style was unique, but I let him develop it and he averages above 200, whereas I'm a 150-160 bowler I would never question a parents love for their children. To "step out of the way" "at times"? All the time. as parents we step aside and allow failure. We allow heartache and pain. Without those learning experiences our children never truly grow. They simply look to use to make sure that what they are doing is okay. Right, but when it comes time to talk about their relationship worries or whatnot, you don't become the friend and listen? maybe offer friendly advice that has nothing to do with brushing their teeth or putting gas in the car?? I listen as a parent with decades of experience. I offer advice based on personal experience and life experience. I use logic and reasoning. I talk in a tone that denotes I care but ultimately it's their life and they need to decide. Live and learn not coddle and hope. Every parent has a different approach but being friends is a sure way to set them up for failure in life, love and their future. Decades of experience as a parent? No you don't. But I do, and I'm a grandparent. I never forgive and I never forget I am a licensed firearm holder. I will, under protection of law, use lethal force if attacked. |
| Anonymous Coward User ID: 63610106  United Kingdom03/10/2019 07:59 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | rather than telling your kid to be one way while you're a terrible example of a person yourself and living your life for the fb 'likes ' kids respect parents who 1 respect themselves 2 behave and speak in truth of themselves 3 behave and speak in truth to their kids you can tell a kid off , assert a boundary , guide etc but why the feck should they listen to you if you behave like a trampy shallow vain twat who has no self respect I think a lot of these kids rightfully don't respect their parents as their parents are hypocritical arseholes |
| Anonymous Coward (OP) User ID: 73106219 United States03/10/2019 08:00 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | ... Quoting: Bananafighter I would never question a parents love for their children. To "step out of the way" "at times"? All the time. as parents we step aside and allow failure. We allow heartache and pain. Without those learning experiences our children never truly grow. They simply look to use to make sure that what they are doing is okay. Right, but when it comes time to talk about their relationship worries or whatnot, you don't become the friend and listen? maybe offer friendly advice that has nothing to do with brushing their teeth or putting gas in the car?? I listen as a parent with decades of experience. I offer advice based on personal experience and life experience. I use logic and reasoning. I talk in a tone that denotes I care but ultimately it's their life and they need to decide. Live and learn not coddle and hope. Every parent has a different approach but being friends is a sure way to set them up for failure in life, love and their future. Decades of experience as a parent? No you don't. But I do, and I'm a grandparent. I do. My first child was born when I was 15. By the time I was 22 I had 4. I have 25 years of experience being a parent. I now have 2 years experience being a grandparent. Isn't it funny how an assumption can go the wrong way? I use my experiences (even having a kid so young) as lessons to my children (all of whom are adults now). I have never tried to be their friend. Friendly yes. They all have jobs, savings and have learned skill sets. They have all helped me hunt, butcher and eat deer. They have assisted me in remodeling my basement, building new doors, fixing cars and cutting down trees. I have joked with them that no job they get will ever be harder than the work I made them do. If I were their friend I might not have been so hard on them as they grew up. |
| Anonymous Coward (OP) User ID: 73106219 United States03/10/2019 08:02 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | it's actually about respect and doing what you say Quoting: Anonymous Coward 63610106 rather than telling your kid to be one way while you're a terrible example of a person yourself and living your life for the fb 'likes ' kids respect parents who 1 respect themselves 2 behave and speak in truth of themselves 3 behave and speak in truth to their kids you can tell a kid off , assert a boundary , guide etc but why the feck should they listen to you if you behave like a trampy shallow vain twat who has no self respect I think a lot of these kids rightfully don't respect their parents as their parents are hypocritical arseholes Exactly. Because the parents are to busy trying to relive their youth in this new digital and social media age. The parents want the likes and retweets and to be popular instead of being a parent. |
| BRIEF User ID: 39607259 United States03/10/2019 08:04 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | ... Quoting: BRIEF Right, but when it comes time to talk about their relationship worries or whatnot, you don't become the friend and listen? maybe offer friendly advice that has nothing to do with brushing their teeth or putting gas in the car?? I listen as a parent with decades of experience. I offer advice based on personal experience and life experience. I use logic and reasoning. I talk in a tone that denotes I care but ultimately it's their life and they need to decide. Live and learn not coddle and hope. Every parent has a different approach but being friends is a sure way to set them up for failure in life, love and their future. Decades of experience as a parent? No you don't. But I do, and I'm a grandparent. I do. My first child was born when I was 15. By the time I was 22 I had 4. I have 25 years of experience being a parent. I now have 2 years experience being a grandparent. Isn't it funny how an assumption can go the wrong way? I use my experiences (even having a kid so young) as lessons to my children (all of whom are adults now). I have never tried to be their friend. Friendly yes. They all have jobs, savings and have learned skill sets. They have all helped me hunt, butcher and eat deer. They have assisted me in remodeling my basement, building new doors, fixing cars and cutting down trees. I have joked with them that no job they get will ever be harder than the work I made them do. If I were their friend I might not have been so hard on them as they grew up. Having children so young didn't give you the chance to develop yourself...mine turned out great with or without me, who knows... I never forgive and I never forget I am a licensed firearm holder. I will, under protection of law, use lethal force if attacked. |
| Anonymous Coward (OP) User ID: 73106219 United States03/10/2019 08:09 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | ... Quoting: Bananafighter I listen as a parent with decades of experience. I offer advice based on personal experience and life experience. I use logic and reasoning. I talk in a tone that denotes I care but ultimately it's their life and they need to decide. Live and learn not coddle and hope. Every parent has a different approach but being friends is a sure way to set them up for failure in life, love and their future. Decades of experience as a parent? No you don't. But I do, and I'm a grandparent. I do. My first child was born when I was 15. By the time I was 22 I had 4. I have 25 years of experience being a parent. I now have 2 years experience being a grandparent. Isn't it funny how an assumption can go the wrong way? I use my experiences (even having a kid so young) as lessons to my children (all of whom are adults now). I have never tried to be their friend. Friendly yes. They all have jobs, savings and have learned skill sets. They have all helped me hunt, butcher and eat deer. They have assisted me in remodeling my basement, building new doors, fixing cars and cutting down trees. I have joked with them that no job they get will ever be harder than the work I made them do. If I were their friend I might not have been so hard on them as they grew up. Having children so young didn't give you the chance to develop yourself...mine turned out great with or without me, who knows... I don't know. It depends on how you view development. I own my own business and have raised 4 great kids. I divorced my ex wife and took custody of all four. I homeschooled them all, taught them how to drive and survive. I grew up quicker than most because of my father. The way I was raised forced my to adapt quickly. Life is different for everyone. More on point though, friendly yes, friends no. |
| Stella99 User ID: 77018525 United States03/10/2019 08:13 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
| BRIEF User ID: 39607259 United States03/10/2019 08:19 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | I do. My first child was born when I was 15. By the time I was 22 I had 4. I have 25 years of experience being a parent. I now have 2 years experience being a grandparent. Isn't it funny how an assumption can go the wrong way? I use my experiences (even having a kid so young) as lessons to my children (all of whom are adults now). I have never tried to be their friend. Friendly yes. They all have jobs, savings and have learned skill sets. They have all helped me hunt, butcher and eat deer. They have assisted me in remodeling my basement, building new doors, fixing cars and cutting down trees. I have joked with them that no job they get will ever be harder than the work I made them do. If I were their friend I might not have been so hard on them as they grew up. Having children so young didn't give you the chance to develop yourself...mine turned out great with or without me, who knows... I don't know. It depends on how you view development. I own my own business and have raised 4 great kids. I divorced my ex wife and took custody of all four. I homeschooled them all, taught them how to drive and survive. I grew up quicker than most because of my father. The way I was raised forced my to adapt quickly. Life is different for everyone. More on point though, friendly yes, friends no. It's apparent to me that the result of your rush to grow up resulted in your lack of ability to connect to your children in a friendship...that's sad to me because I know the joys and rewards of it... I never forgive and I never forget I am a licensed firearm holder. I will, under protection of law, use lethal force if attacked. |
| Anonymous Coward (OP) User ID: 73106219 United States03/10/2019 08:21 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | What happens when the kids are grown and don't need you to parent them? Quoting: Stella99 What relationship do you have with them? Are you friends? Not needing to parent is the goal. That means you did something right. However, you never stop being a parent. Your kids will always need a question answered or advice on something. My dad was never my friend and still isn't. We get along and have intelligent conversations. I ask advice and he will ask my opinion. My mother (who raised my other 4 brothers) was always their friend first. This led to 3 being arrested, one going to prison, all of them doing drugs, one brother with 3 kids, one with 2 kids and the other 2 with 6 kids each. The point being, you never really stop needing to parent. The parenting simply evolves as time goes on. My kids don't hate and actually like me a lot. However, they respect me because they know I am not here to sit around and be buddy buddy with them. |
| Anonymous Coward (OP) User ID: 73106219 United States03/10/2019 08:26 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | ... Quoting: Bananafighter I do. My first child was born when I was 15. By the time I was 22 I had 4. I have 25 years of experience being a parent. I now have 2 years experience being a grandparent. Isn't it funny how an assumption can go the wrong way? I use my experiences (even having a kid so young) as lessons to my children (all of whom are adults now). I have never tried to be their friend. Friendly yes. They all have jobs, savings and have learned skill sets. They have all helped me hunt, butcher and eat deer. They have assisted me in remodeling my basement, building new doors, fixing cars and cutting down trees. I have joked with them that no job they get will ever be harder than the work I made them do. If I were their friend I might not have been so hard on them as they grew up. Having children so young didn't give you the chance to develop yourself...mine turned out great with or without me, who knows... I don't know. It depends on how you view development. I own my own business and have raised 4 great kids. I divorced my ex wife and took custody of all four. I homeschooled them all, taught them how to drive and survive. I grew up quicker than most because of my father. The way I was raised forced my to adapt quickly. Life is different for everyone. More on point though, friendly yes, friends no. It's apparent to me that the result of your rush to grow up resulted in your lack of ability to connect to your children in a friendship...that's sad to me because I know the joys and rewards of it... Friendship is one thing friendly is another. I fish and hunt and have played with my children. Sometimes still do. I just don't see a need to hang out with them all the time. They need to grow and foster their own friendships. Meet people and learn life through experience. They will never get that with me being their friend because I will always default to parent. A friend will take you places you have never been. Want to do crazy fun things. Want to live wild and dangerous at times. As a parent I would worry and be cautious. I would hinder that independent growth in them. I would be in the way. I am a parent first and always. |
| BRIEF User ID: 39607259 United States03/10/2019 08:27 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | What happens when the kids are grown and don't need you to parent them? Quoting: Stella99 What relationship do you have with them? Are you friends? Not needing to parent is the goal. That means you did something right. However, you never stop being a parent. Your kids will always need a question answered or advice on something. My dad was never my friend and still isn't. We get along and have intelligent conversations. I ask advice and he will ask my opinion. My mother (who raised my other 4 brothers) was always their friend first. This led to 3 being arrested, one going to prison, all of them doing drugs, one brother with 3 kids, one with 2 kids and the other 2 with 6 kids each. The point being, you never really stop needing to parent. The parenting simply evolves as time goes on. My kids don't hate and actually like me a lot. However, they respect me because they know I am not here to sit around and be buddy buddy with them. You are missing out on so much...Dad and I used to go hunting and we always took a bottle and afterwards just talk and hang out as friends...I did a ton more fun things with my kids, and they are all moved out and have their own lives and families, but we still make time to just be with each other as friends... Last Edited by BRIEF on 03/10/2019 08:27 AM I never forgive and I never forget I am a licensed firearm holder. I will, under protection of law, use lethal force if attacked. |
| BRIEF User ID: 39607259 United States03/10/2019 08:30 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | ... Quoting: BRIEF Having children so young didn't give you the chance to develop yourself...mine turned out great with or without me, who knows... I don't know. It depends on how you view development. I own my own business and have raised 4 great kids. I divorced my ex wife and took custody of all four. I homeschooled them all, taught them how to drive and survive. I grew up quicker than most because of my father. The way I was raised forced my to adapt quickly. Life is different for everyone. More on point though, friendly yes, friends no. It's apparent to me that the result of your rush to grow up resulted in your lack of ability to connect to your children in a friendship...that's sad to me because I know the joys and rewards of it... Friendship is one thing friendly is another. I fish and hunt and have played with my children. Sometimes still do. I just don't see a need to hang out with them all the time. They need to grow and foster their own friendships. Meet people and learn life through experience. They will never get that with me being their friend because I will always default to parent. A friend will take you places you have never been. Want to do crazy fun things. Want to live wild and dangerous at times. As a parent I would worry and be cautious. I would hinder that independent growth in them. I would be in the way. I am a parent first and always. So you're a parent first and a dick second. I see I never forgive and I never forget I am a licensed firearm holder. I will, under protection of law, use lethal force if attacked. |
