I'm supposed to court a lady as a nobleman, but feminists want me to be a socialist asexual.

I'm supposed to be a good guy, but a bad boy. I'm supposed to be moral, but not too moral. I'm supposed to be fun, but work 12 hours a day. I'm supposed to do our dishes and make a sandwich, but be strong and alpha.

So what the hell do you want from me!?

You know what, never mind. I think I know...you want to kill me. That's what you obviously want.

If I were Satan, you would accuse me of being the devil. And if I were Jesus, you would despise me because I'm not the devil.