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BREAKING: Catholic Church introduces burka for altar servers

 
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 77564394
Germany
04/16/2019 05:35 AM
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BREAKING: Catholic Church introduces burka for altar servers
Vatican (dpo) - Following the recent Vatican abuse summit, the Catholic Church today announced key measures to tackle the issue going forward, including a stipulation that altar servers don the burka. The concept for this full-body covering was borrowed from another major world religion. Proponents hope that using it in the Church will prevent priests from being enticed into sexual assault.

“From now on, all children who come into contact with Catholic priests will be required to wear clothing covering their entire body. This includes altar servers, choir boys and children in Catholic schools and institutions”, instructs the edict signed by Pope Francis. “This is the only way to avoid arousing the carnal desires of poor, defenceless priests.”
Nuns who have dealings with Catholic priests are also requested to cover their whole bodies wherever possible since, “not doing so would simply be irresponsible.”
The Catholic Church is even planning to introduce an Eleventh Commandment by the end of the year. The new holy law will read: “Thou shalt not lead thy priest into temptation, for it bringeth upon the Holy Church great annoyance and bad publicity”.

[link to www.the-postillon.com (secure)]
Greamripper  (OP)

User ID: 77564394
Germany
04/16/2019 06:39 AM

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Re: BREAKING: Catholic Church introduces burka for altar servers
wtf lolsign
No mercy for them
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 21041371
Netherlands
04/16/2019 07:01 AM
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Re: BREAKING: Catholic Church introduces burka for altar servers
It is the only picture you can find on google through search. It could be fakenews OP..
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 77456750
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04/16/2019 07:05 AM
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Re: BREAKING: Catholic Church introduces burka for altar servers
Vatican (dpo) - Following the recent Vatican abuse summit, the Catholic Church today announced key measures to tackle the issue going forward, including a stipulation that altar servers don the burka. The concept for this full-body covering was borrowed from another major world religion. Proponents hope that using it in the Church will prevent priests from being enticed into sexual assault.

“From now on, all children who come into contact with Catholic priests will be required to wear clothing covering their entire body. This includes altar servers, choir boys and children in Catholic schools and institutions”, instructs the edict signed by Pope Francis. “This is the only way to avoid arousing the carnal desires of poor, defenceless priests.”
Nuns who have dealings with Catholic priests are also requested to cover their whole bodies wherever possible since, “not doing so would simply be irresponsible.”
The Catholic Church is even planning to introduce an Eleventh Commandment by the end of the year. The new holy law will read: “Thou shalt not lead thy priest into temptation, for it bringeth upon the Holy Church great annoyance and bad publicity”.

[link to www.the-postillon.com (secure)]
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 77564394


REally? Like how it used to be in old days when THE CHURCH was relevant? Both my mother and grandmother wore a veil in Church before they decided to go HIP and have the Nuns give up the Habit as it "scared the children".

Fuck I hate these Hypocritical Globalist/ NWO fucktards.
4doggies

User ID: 76462481
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04/16/2019 07:07 AM
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Re: BREAKING: Catholic Church introduces burka for altar servers
It is the only picture you can find on google through search. It could be fakenews OP..
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 21041371


Fake news.
Greamripper  (OP)

User ID: 77564394
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04/16/2019 07:51 AM

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Re: BREAKING: Catholic Church introduces burka for altar servers
It is the only picture you can find on google through search. It could be fakenews OP..
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 21041371


Oh, really, could it? hahahahaha what moron you are you can't smell satire directly before your nose
No mercy for them
ScrumpTheTexanModerator
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04/16/2019 07:54 AM

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Re: BREAKING: Catholic Church introduces burka for altar servers
It is the only picture you can find on google through search. It could be fakenews OP..
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 21041371


Youdontsay
I am a Christian.

Christian does not equal doormat or pushover

"I Have Sworn upon the Altar of God... Eternal Hostility against every form of Tyranny over the mind of man." -Thomas Jefferson, Sep. 23, 1800

TRUMP 2020

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Anonymous Coward
User ID: 65723878
Sweden
04/16/2019 08:13 AM
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Re: BREAKING: Catholic Church introduces burka for altar servers
Is this fake?
Didn´t read,
I am having a lazy day and allready had my dose of insanity.
cow
Anonymous Coward
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United States
04/16/2019 08:16 AM
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Re: BREAKING: Catholic Church introduces burka for altar servers
I TOLD YOU WEEKS AGO TO WATCH THE VATICAN AND POPE TAKE STEPS TO MERGE ISLAM AND CATHOLICISM. WATCH IT UNRAVEL.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 71423455
Australia
04/16/2019 08:44 AM
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Re: BREAKING: Catholic Church introduces burka for altar servers
If true,How fucking backward has the catholic church become.Penalize the innocent instead of hanging the deviates.
AlphaFemale

User ID: 76863067
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04/16/2019 09:18 AM
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Re: BREAKING: Catholic Church introduces burka for altar servers
It is the only picture you can find on google through search. It could be fakenews OP..
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 21041371


Oh, really, could it? hahahahaha what moron you are you can't smell satire directly before your nose
 Quoting: Greamripper


Because no pervert could ever get under the cloth
Lady Jane SmithModerator
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04/16/2019 09:18 AM

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Re: BREAKING: Catholic Church introduces burka for altar servers
I believe this is satire, peeps
Fate whispers to the warrior

"You cannot withstand the storm"

and the warrior whispers back

"I am the storm"

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Killer Bunny
Anonymous Coward
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United States
04/16/2019 09:21 AM
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Re: BREAKING: Catholic Church introduces burka for altar servers
I don't understand. Were altar boys previously wearing only that white sheet over their naked bodies?
TlvmmCpoft

User ID: 77347043
Spain
04/16/2019 09:28 AM

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Re: BREAKING: Catholic Church introduces burka for altar servers
Is this fake?
Didn´t read,
I am having a lazy day and allready had my dose of insanity.
cow
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 65723878


"The new holy law will read: “Thou shalt not lead thy priest into temptation, for it bringeth upon the Holy Church great annoyance and bad publicity”."

Nah. Gotta be real. lol
...

:owl :

"Crows will clean out your crops, while Owls will hunt the vermin that plague your barns.
A murder of crows. A parliament of owls."
- Zoink

"Cause an owl can see things in the dark" - Some AC

"They are the messengers of the day and night."
- Zer0Phi
MySoul

User ID: 77525126
United Kingdom
04/16/2019 09:29 AM
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Re: BREAKING: Catholic Church introduces burka for altar servers
Vatican (dpo) - Following the recent Vatican abuse summit, the Catholic Church today announced key measures to tackle the issue going forward, including a stipulation that altar servers don the burka. The concept for this full-body covering was borrowed from another major world religion. Proponents hope that using it in the Church will prevent priests from being enticed into sexual assault.

“From now on, all children who come into contact with Catholic priests will be required to wear clothing covering their entire body. This includes altar servers, choir boys and children in Catholic schools and institutions”, instructs the edict signed by Pope Francis. “This is the only way to avoid arousing the carnal desires of poor, defenceless priests.”
Nuns who have dealings with Catholic priests are also requested to cover their whole bodies wherever possible since, “not doing so would simply be irresponsible.”
The Catholic Church is even planning to introduce an Eleventh Commandment by the end of the year. The new holy law will read: “Thou shalt not lead thy priest into temptation, for it bringeth upon the Holy Church great annoyance and bad publicity”.

[link to www.the-postillon.com (secure)]
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 77564394


Look at the links below on the story. It shows how silly this story is. It won't let me post the fake news story about this.

Last Edited by MySoul on 04/16/2019 09:30 AM
Once you replace negative thoughts with positive ones, you'll start having positive results. Willie Nelson
Greamripper  (OP)

User ID: 77564394
Germany
04/16/2019 10:26 AM

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Re: BREAKING: Catholic Church introduces burka for altar servers
I believe this is satire, peeps
 Quoting: Lady Jane Smith


"The Postillon - Honest news - independent, fast, since 1845"

And people in GLP believe it. hahaha
No mercy for them
Anonymous Coward 3373

User ID: 76907144
United States
04/16/2019 07:54 PM
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Re: BREAKING: Catholic Church introduces burka for altar servers
I don't understand. Were altar boys previously wearing only that white sheet over their naked bodies?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 77557579


No. I was an altar server as were my brother and many of our friends. We would put the long black robe on over our normal Church clothes and then the shorter white one over it. No clothing was ever removed. All the priests I knew were normal, holy men who served God and their congregation. Of course the abuse scandals are appalling to me and all Catholics but nothing like that ever happened to me and I considered it a great honor to be on the altar as the bread and wine miraculously became the body and blood of my Lord. The first day I served my grandpa cried tears of joy. I also got to do cool things like miss school to altar serve the funeral of a local football legend which the entire local college football team and coaching staff attended (and I got paid for it), altar serve for the Bishop at a state all-Catholic schools mass with thousands in attendance, and lead a Marian procession of hundreds through downtown with hecklers shouting at us most of the time (we didn’t mind, just ignored or smiled at them, it felt really good to be mocked for God honestly). My heart goes out to altar servers who had their innocence shattered by supposed holy men they trusted, but it is by far the exception, not the norm. I don’t say that from my own experience, that’s a statistical fact you can look up for yourself.
Anon Coward
2hot2handle

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04/16/2019 08:03 PM
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Re: BREAKING: Catholic Church introduces burka for altar servers
It is satire now but unfortunately satire has a nasty habit of becoming actual reality in the future.
2hotbaybee
---------------
G3

User ID: 76494984
United States
04/16/2019 08:05 PM
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Re: BREAKING: Catholic Church introduces burka for altar servers
I believe this is satire, peeps
 Quoting: Lady Jane Smith


That is for now LJ, it's just a matter of time though. . .

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G3

User ID: 76494984
United States
04/16/2019 08:06 PM
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Re: BREAKING: Catholic Church introduces burka for altar servers
It is satire now but unfortunately satire has a nasty habit of becoming actual reality in the future.
 Quoting: 2hot2handle


this3