Jesus created all things (including me). Therefore I am begotten of Jesus my Father. Do you even scripture, bro?

You ask for scriptural proof, here it is:
Colossians 1:15-17
[15]Who is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn of every creature:
[16]For by him were all things created, that are in heaven, and that are in earth, visible and invisible, whether they be thrones, or dominions, or principalities, or powers: all things were created by him, and for him:
[17]And he is before all things, and by him all things consist.

The next person to post is a liar.