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What's the most badass thing you've ever done?

 
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 77547022
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05/21/2019 04:00 PM
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Re: What's the most badass thing you've ever done?
Eight years ago I became a muslim and began a Utah ministry that converts disillusioned christian teenagers at my basketball camp, many have gone overseas to fight jihad or work secretly for the faith in the ranks of US military services amd within the NSA.

We are blessed to have grown 900%!

My Ohio brother reaches out to the Amish, our Mosques have buggy parking and restricted electrical facilities to help them in their decision to fully embrace Islam.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 77668002


AND YOU WILL PAY A 1000 FOLD FOR EVERY SINGLE MAN OR WOMAN YOU LEAD ASTRAY. ISLAM WAS WRITTEN BY NO OTHER THAN SATAN HIMSELF. why didn't you do your homework! and you can quote me on this, my name is chip griffin. at least now you now, so what you do from here will be 2000 fold. think hard and long before you say that book is of the truth, it is not, it is a book of lies!!!
MING THE MERCILESS

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05/21/2019 04:01 PM
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Re: What's the most badass thing you've ever done?
I DID CUNNILINGUS ON MY 400LB NEIGHBOR
Anonymous Coward
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05/21/2019 04:16 PM
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Re: What's the most badass thing you've ever done?
I stretched out on a row of seats at the 72 Democrat Convention waiting for McGovern to speak at 3am. After 40 winks I woke to see Jack Nicholson and his babe staring at my boner. You know his smile with raised eyebrows? Funny night. I'm cured of that now. Grew up, woke up, and voted for Trump.
Polkahonkus

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05/21/2019 04:16 PM

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Re: What's the most badass thing you've ever done?
Not so much bad ass, but traumatic:

I was in a pig pen and a massive pig attacked me. Knocked me right on my back and was on top of me. Had a mouthful of my coveralls and was rag dolling me. I tried punching as hard as I could. Nothing. I drove my thumbs into its eyes. Nothing. I tried to choke it. Nothing. I scrambled to find a rock to club it. Nothing. I beat its head as hard as I could with my fists and it had zero effect. I am 6’ tall and fairly strong. I lift logs and weights and heavy parts regularly. I am no weakling or slouch. Yet I couldn’t budge this fucking pig off me. He was shaking me so hard I started to black out and I knew it. I started getting tunnel vision and my field of view was pinholes. I was going down and this pig was going to eat me. My only thought was that it was going to eat my wife who would eventually come to the pen to look for me.
I blacked out for probably a few seconds until the pig whipped around and attacked another pig that came over to see what all the noise was about.
I literally crawled out of that pen and my legs didn’t work for a while.
I slept in the mud for an hour until my wife came by and called me lazy slob for laying in the mud. She had no idea.
The bad pig was now calm and even wiggled its tail for her.
I don’t know what the heck got into that pig, but for a few minutes it was a demon.
 Quoting: Steamer


You didn’t get eaten. You didn’t slip your body and fly away home. Staying conscious to fight a hog is pretty badass. You might be part big bad wolf.
1/4 German, 1/172 Iroquois

It’s pronounced Pocahonky
Or Pokeyhonkus
Or Pokey
Or Pocus
Polkahonkus

User ID: 1497303
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05/21/2019 04:22 PM

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Re: What's the most badass thing you've ever done?
I stretched out on a row of seats at the 72 Democrat Convention waiting for McGovern to speak at 3am. After 40 winks I woke to see Jack Nicholson and his babe staring at my boner. You know his smile with raised eyebrows? Funny night. I'm cured of that now. Grew up, woke up, and voted for Trump.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 71843688


I bet we could fill a whole thread of JN encounters.
1/4 German, 1/172 Iroquois

It’s pronounced Pocahonky
Or Pokeyhonkus
Or Pokey
Or Pocus
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 60387116
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05/21/2019 04:33 PM
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Re: What's the most badass thing you've ever done?
I DID CUNNILINGUS ON MY 400LB NEIGHBOR
 Quoting: MING THE MERCILESS


Damn! So you've did Brief's wife too!!!! I knew she was messing with someone else besides me!

FTARH-spicoliUD
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 60387116
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05/21/2019 04:37 PM
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Re: What's the most badass thing you've ever done?
Not so much bad ass, but traumatic:

I was in a pig pen and a massive pig attacked me. Knocked me right on my back and was on top of me. Had a mouthful of my coveralls and was rag dolling me. I tried punching as hard as I could. Nothing. I drove my thumbs into its eyes. Nothing. I tried to choke it. Nothing. I scrambled to find a rock to club it. Nothing. I beat its head as hard as I could with my fists and it had zero effect. I am 6’ tall and fairly strong. I lift logs and weights and heavy parts regularly. I am no weakling or slouch. Yet I couldn’t budge this fucking pig off me. He was shaking me so hard I started to black out and I knew it. I started getting tunnel vision and my field of view was pinholes. I was going down and this pig was going to eat me. My only thought was that it was going to eat my wife who would eventually come to the pen to look for me.
I blacked out for probably a few seconds until the pig whipped around and attacked another pig that came over to see what all the noise was about.
I literally crawled out of that pen and my legs didn’t work for a while.
I slept in the mud for an hour until my wife came by and called me lazy slob for laying in the mud. She had no idea.
The bad pig was now calm and even wiggled its tail for her.
I don’t know what the heck got into that pig, but for a few minutes it was a demon.
 Quoting: Steamer


That pig got tired of your porking him.
bananasex
Anonymous Coward
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05/21/2019 04:39 PM
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Re: What's the most badass thing you've ever done?
When I was 15 we used to go to our high school about a mile away and ride our bikes around the parking lot. My step brother was near the middle school and this green chevette pulled over to the side walk huge guy got out and popped the hatch and was listening to music.i rode by and he said come here so I rode over and he locked his knees on front tire and said give me ur bike. I said no twice and he reached in and pulled .38 and parked it right between my eyes.. I looked up and the cylinder were empty. He said now give me your bike!! I waited a sec and said go ahead and shoot, you got 4 empty cylinders go ahead n shoot. He said what'd you say, I said u got four empty cylinder, odds are the other two are empty, shoot me. He said you smart lil fucker get outta here. I rode like hell got my brother and left. Kinda badass kinda stupid. Nowadays I'd jus give up the bike
 Quoting: Coastie Patriot


Frank Castle sez that works

angry
Anonymous Coward
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05/21/2019 04:41 PM
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Re: What's the most badass thing you've ever done?
-Launched off a sub in the Atlantic in sea state 5 on an 15ft assault boat to do a recce of an installation. Had to access through a tunnel built into the side of a mountain. Bottom of the boat ripped out by debris in the water in the tunnel. Had to go the rest of the way swimming. Had to egress via chopper once I was far enough away to call the bird in.

-Walked into an armed belligerent camp dressed as a local to get an accurate gps reading then called the airstrike in....hehehe

-Snapped a sentry that surprised me and almost compromised the mission.
Steamer

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05/21/2019 04:44 PM
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Re: What's the most badass thing you've ever done?
Not so much bad ass, but traumatic:

I was in a pig pen and a massive pig attacked me. Knocked me right on my back and was on top of me. Had a mouthful of my coveralls and was rag dolling me. I tried punching as hard as I could. Nothing. I drove my thumbs into its eyes. Nothing. I tried to choke it. Nothing. I scrambled to find a rock to club it. Nothing. I beat its head as hard as I could with my fists and it had zero effect. I am 6’ tall and fairly strong. I lift logs and weights and heavy parts regularly. I am no weakling or slouch. Yet I couldn’t budge this fucking pig off me. He was shaking me so hard I started to black out and I knew it. I started getting tunnel vision and my field of view was pinholes. I was going down and this pig was going to eat me. My only thought was that it was going to eat my wife who would eventually come to the pen to look for me.
I blacked out for probably a few seconds until the pig whipped around and attacked another pig that came over to see what all the noise was about.
I literally crawled out of that pen and my legs didn’t work for a while.
I slept in the mud for an hour until my wife came by and called me lazy slob for laying in the mud. She had no idea.
The bad pig was now calm and even wiggled its tail for her.
I don’t know what the heck got into that pig, but for a few minutes it was a demon.
 Quoting: Steamer


That pig got tired of your porking him.
bananasex
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 60387116


Ya I was waiting for someone to crack a joke like that.
Good job, I can respect a good but decent insult.hf
ColdBrew

User ID: 76713814
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05/21/2019 04:46 PM
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Re: What's the most badass thing you've ever done?
Grow my own garden.

Smashed a guitar on stage at a Motley Crue concert.

Hung out with Dale Jr.

Joined the Fire Department.

Created a family, raise them as conservatives and go to church on Sunday.

Last Edited by ColdBrew on 05/21/2019 04:48 PM
Anonymous Coward
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05/21/2019 04:49 PM
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Re: What's the most badass thing you've ever done?
Not so much bad ass, but traumatic:

I was in a pig pen and a massive pig attacked me. Knocked me right on my back and was on top of me. Had a mouthful of my coveralls and was rag dolling me. I tried punching as hard as I could. Nothing. I drove my thumbs into its eyes. Nothing. I tried to choke it. Nothing. I scrambled to find a rock to club it. Nothing. I beat its head as hard as I could with my fists and it had zero effect. I am 6’ tall and fairly strong. I lift logs and weights and heavy parts regularly. I am no weakling or slouch. Yet I couldn’t budge this fucking pig off me. He was shaking me so hard I started to black out and I knew it. I started getting tunnel vision and my field of view was pinholes. I was going down and this pig was going to eat me. My only thought was that it was going to eat my wife who would eventually come to the pen to look for me.
I blacked out for probably a few seconds until the pig whipped around and attacked another pig that came over to see what all the noise was about.
I literally crawled out of that pen and my legs didn’t work for a while.
I slept in the mud for an hour until my wife came by and called me lazy slob for laying in the mud. She had no idea.
The bad pig was now calm and even wiggled its tail for her.
I don’t know what the heck got into that pig, but for a few minutes it was a demon.
 Quoting: Steamer


That pig got tired of your porking him.
bananasex
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 60387116


Ya I was waiting for someone to crack a joke like that.
Good job, I can respect a good but decent insult.hf
 Quoting: Steamer

Just bustin your chops
cruise
Anonymous Coward
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05/21/2019 04:49 PM
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Re: What's the most badass thing you've ever done?
One time, a lady with a “Hillary for President” button on was walking behind me in the grocery store, and I farted... on purpose.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 77664902
United States
05/21/2019 04:51 PM
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Re: What's the most badass thing you've ever done?
Not so much bad ass, but traumatic:

I was in a pig pen and a massive pig attacked me. Knocked me right on my back and was on top of me. Had a mouthful of my coveralls and was rag dolling me. I tried punching as hard as I could. Nothing. I drove my thumbs into its eyes. Nothing. I tried to choke it. Nothing. I scrambled to find a rock to club it. Nothing. I beat its head as hard as I could with my fists and it had zero effect. I am 6’ tall and fairly strong. I lift logs and weights and heavy parts regularly. I am no weakling or slouch. Yet I couldn’t budge this fucking pig off me. He was shaking me so hard I started to black out and I knew it. I started getting tunnel vision and my field of view was pinholes. I was going down and this pig was going to eat me. My only thought was that it was going to eat my wife who would eventually come to the pen to look for me.
I blacked out for probably a few seconds until the pig whipped around and attacked another pig that came over to see what all the noise was about.
I literally crawled out of that pen and my legs didn’t work for a while.
I slept in the mud for an hour until my wife came by and called me lazy slob for laying in the mud. She had no idea.
The bad pig was now calm and even wiggled its tail for her.
I don’t know what the heck got into that pig, but for a few minutes it was a demon.
 Quoting: Steamer


That pig got tired of your porking him.
bananasex
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 60387116


It was jealous because he was fucking one of his sows
sideways
FeedYourHead

User ID: 77416429
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05/21/2019 04:52 PM

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Re: What's the most badass thing you've ever done?
I once sang at the Grand Ole Opry...the original one. I will never forget it....Minnie Pearl sang that night. She was crazy cute, in a nutty way....
Ask Alice when she's 10ft tall
Anonymous Coward
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05/21/2019 04:53 PM
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Re: What's the most badass thing you've ever done?
Grow my own garden.


Created a family, raise them as conservatives and go to church on Sunday.
 Quoting: ColdBrew


You lied to a woman and told her you loved her when you really just wanted her to make you a pot to sit on your shelf
Anonymous Coward
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05/21/2019 04:54 PM
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Re: What's the most badass thing you've ever done?
Passed the Department of Defenses Hand To Hand Combat Test

which is 3 hours long with 0 breaks. not even for 1 second.
MollyMayhem

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05/21/2019 05:15 PM

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Re: What's the most badass thing you've ever done?
Dressed as a nun, went to church and fooled everyone

but the priest. He became a good friend when he figured out

what I was up to. OH, and people are really nice to you

when you are a nun, they call you sister.
Anonymous Cowlick

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05/21/2019 05:17 PM

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Re: What's the most badass thing you've ever done?
Saved a drowning man's life.
Anonymous Coward
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05/21/2019 05:18 PM
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Re: What's the most badass thing you've ever done?
Screwed four times in one night at the drive in movie, many years ago.
Anonymous Coward
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05/21/2019 05:23 PM
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Re: What's the most badass thing you've ever done?
I took a Picture with an Alligator in my arms. He was small though.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 77323115


rode Broncs and bulls, roped wild cattle, roped coyotes, deer and pigs off my horse.Tried to rope a bear.
Made some badass bridle horses. Mugged a lot of wild horses.

lots of street fights, lots of fights and victories in toughman competitions. Some beautiful first round K.O.s.
Tried to spar with Evander Holyfield...( trainer wanted a different style)
Anonymous Coward
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05/21/2019 05:27 PM
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Re: What's the most badass thing you've ever done?
Shut off my TV (Permanently) and never looked back.
.
Anonymous Coward
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05/21/2019 05:32 PM
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Re: What's the most badass thing you've ever done?
Machinegunned Hajiis in Irak:
Exemplar

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05/21/2019 05:43 PM

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Re: What's the most badass thing you've ever done?
Single father of 3 boys...now grown and productive members of society!
^EyeSeeAll^

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05/21/2019 05:44 PM

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Re: What's the most badass thing you've ever done?
Here's to the real badass men those who 75 years ago this June 6th landed on the beaches of Normandy. Thank you!
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 77179859

clappa

MenMarch
 Quoting: LoneStarRising


this ^
 Quoting: DoomGymRat


For sure.

No one here can top that.

Those were some real mother fuckers right there.
I may not have a Lamborghini, but you can sure ride my Lamborwhini
MojoZeus

User ID: 77329255
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05/21/2019 05:45 PM

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Re: What's the most badass thing you've ever done?
I got my leg run over by a Dodge intrepid.. then stood up and asked what happened to my beer
Anonymous Coward
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05/21/2019 05:47 PM
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Re: What's the most badass thing you've ever done?
I fender off 4 young Italian male models eating dinner with a gay mafia boss with a chair after I threw their buddy across the table and spilled all their food and drinks on their laps because he was being a threatening douche because I had dropped a glass of wine having a good time.
Polkahonkus

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05/21/2019 06:04 PM

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Re: What's the most badass thing you've ever done?
Eight years ago I became a muslim and began a Utah ministry that converts disillusioned christian teenagers at my basketball camp, many have gone overseas to fight jihad or work secretly for the faith in the ranks of US military services amd within the NSA.

We are blessed to have grown 900%!

My Ohio brother reaches out to the Amish, our Mosques have buggy parking and restricted electrical facilities to help them in their decision to fully embrace Islam.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 77668002


AND YOU WILL PAY A 1000 FOLD FOR EVERY SINGLE MAN OR WOMAN YOU LEAD ASTRAY. ISLAM WAS WRITTEN BY NO OTHER THAN SATAN HIMSELF. why didn't you do your homework! and you can quote me on this, my name is chip griffin. at least now you now, so what you do from here will be 2000 fold. think hard and long before you say that book is of the truth, it is not, it is a book of lies!!!
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 77547022


Those satanic Amish crypto Muslims of Ohio are pretty badass.
1/4 German, 1/172 Iroquois

It’s pronounced Pocahonky
Or Pokeyhonkus
Or Pokey
Or Pocus
Louis in Richmond
Unrepentantly I've waited...

User ID: 77444323
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05/21/2019 06:07 PM

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Re: What's the most badass thing you've ever done?
I DID CUNNILINGUS ON MY 400LB NEIGHBOR
 Quoting: MING THE MERCILESS

Did you find the missing TV remote or her missing pet chihuahua in a fold?
The rest of us have been gone ten thousand years.

If you remember what we were, and how we lived, then we'll have found life again.

Now we live in you; tell them of us.
Dreamer
User ID: 76682459
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05/21/2019 06:16 PM
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Re: What's the most badass thing you've ever done?
Probably standing up to a gang of black girls...like 9 of them, by myself...I was like fuck this...

chuckle

Yeah, I got a beat down...but at least I tried. After that, fighting one girl is no big deal lol

No that was in my younger days...I'm a lady I don't do that shit now...
 Quoting: Dreamer 76682459


You’re my heroine! hf


My younger sister used to knock out all my haters... I was very shy! verysad
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 77089524


Awww...how sweet! hugs You wanna know why I got my ass beat and why I was there? For my little sister...but her and three of her friends ran...I was like wtf? I have to admit "run" did go through my mind but then I was like fuck this...I'm getting my ass beat lol My girlfriend said I had a nike shoe imprint on my forehead...I drove to her house right after lmao I think I was in 11th or 12th grade...