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Need some advice(Single Dad)

 
PostIndustrialPeace
User ID: 77410504
United States
05/20/2019 07:37 PM
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Need some advice(Single Dad)
So my son’s mother went crazy about 3-4 years ago. She threatened his life when he was an infant and mine as well as insane accusations and basically making our lives hell.

She got involuntarily committed a few years back and I got full custody with restraining orders. She didn’t even show up to court... after she was out of the psych hospital and had two chances.

Now her mother (who has basically reached out 5 times in 3 years and never visited) is messaging me did i know she had a daughter now. I say no and say good luck to her. Then the mom says she sent you a friends request. I say Ok.

Why would I accept this invite and what do I do when her mom asks why I didn’t accept it?

I’ve never asked or gotten anything from her as far as child support. I stopped contacting her when I found out the psych hospital didn’t help. For all I know she doesn’t have custody of this daughter either. I would rather not burn all bridges with her family, my son’s relatives but I feel like I can’t accept this invite.

Also I know Facebook is fucking retarded but I do use it keep I touch with family time to time.
smith357

User ID: 39834772
United States
05/20/2019 07:44 PM

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Re: Need some advice(Single Dad)
don't and simply tell the mom what you told us if she asks
smith
^EyeSeeAll^

User ID: 34398756
United States
05/20/2019 07:48 PM

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Re: Need some advice(Single Dad)
So my son’s mother went crazy about 3-4 years ago. She threatened his life when he was an infant and mine as well as insane accusations and basically making our lives hell.

She got involuntarily committed a few years back and I got full custody with restraining orders. She didn’t even show up to court... after she was out of the psych hospital and had two chances.

Now her mother (who has basically reached out 5 times in 3 years and never visited) is messaging me did i know she had a daughter now. I say no and say good luck to her. Then the mom says she sent you a friends request. I say Ok.

Why would I accept this invite and what do I do when her mom asks why I didn’t accept it?

I’ve never asked or gotten anything from her as far as child support. I stopped contacting her when I found out the psych hospital didn’t help. For all I know she doesn’t have custody of this daughter either. I would rather not burn all bridges with her family, my son’s relatives but I feel like I can’t accept this invite.

Also I know Facebook is fucking retarded but I do use it keep I touch with family time to time.
 Quoting: PostIndustrialPeace 77410504


No. Fucking. Way.

Gonna try to get involved with your kid's life again and just be a negative, inconsistent presence in your son's life and let him down when he just starts to trust her.

Anybody that went as crazy as she did needs to move on from the past and so do you and your son. I can only imagine the accusations she lobbed against you at the start of it all.
#BruteFactsMatter
***SUPERFLY***

User ID: 75817200
United States
05/20/2019 07:53 PM

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Re: Need some advice(Single Dad)
I'm a single dad and every decision I make is to PROTECT my children from idiocy, mental harm and being put in compromising positions. Use your heart but mostly your gut on this one and mostly your logical mind. Ask yourself, what is the benifit of this sudden shake up in the stable world you have built for them?
***SUPERFLY***
Mental Case

User ID: 77665933
United States
05/20/2019 08:24 PM
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Re: Need some advice(Single Dad)
Just say: I'm not comfortable with the invite at this time due to the fact that she threatened my sons life and mine.

Perhaps some time in the future when my son is older...but not at this time...thank you.
If I am going to be damned...I am going to be damned for who I really am!
Mental Case

User ID: 77665933
United States
05/20/2019 08:26 PM
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Re: Need some advice(Single Dad)
Crazy bitch plan: Get him alone anyway possible then accuse him of raping me. Bash my face into a wall & say he did it!
If I am going to be damned...I am going to be damned for who I really am!
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 69942021
United States
05/20/2019 08:27 PM
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Re: Need some advice(Single Dad)
Low-value males don't get their pick of women.

They also have a pathetic tendency to blame others.
UrMomsD1ld0

User ID: 77302328
United States
05/20/2019 08:35 PM

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Re: Need some advice(Single Dad)
First off how old is the child because it is punishment to the child to not be able to see their mother my son's mother was addicted to heroin and stole him and when I finally got him back ,after about five years I let him go see his mom and he made the decision from there that he didn't want to see her anymore but it wasn't me keeping him away because that makes them hate you
nutmeg

User ID: 76388104
United States
05/20/2019 08:37 PM

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Re: Need some advice(Single Dad)
So my son’s mother went crazy about 3-4 years ago. She threatened his life when he was an infant and mine as well as insane accusations and basically making our lives hell.

She got involuntarily committed a few years back and I got full custody with restraining orders. She didn’t even show up to court... after she was out of the psych hospital and had two chances.

Now her mother (who has basically reached out 5 times in 3 years and never visited) is messaging me did i know she had a daughter now. I say no and say good luck to her. Then the mom says she sent you a friends request. I say Ok.

Why would I accept this invite and what do I do when her mom asks why I didn’t accept it?

I’ve never asked or gotten anything from her as far as child support. I stopped contacting her when I found out the psych hospital didn’t help. For all I know she doesn’t have custody of this daughter either. I would rather not burn all bridges with her family, my son’s relatives but I feel like I can’t accept this invite.

Also I know Facebook is fucking retarded but I do use it keep I touch with family time to time.
 Quoting: PostIndustrialPeace 77410504


Just don't accept it. Ignore it.
PostIndustrialPeace (OP)
User ID: 77410504
United States
05/20/2019 09:04 PM
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Re: Need some advice(Single Dad)
First off how old is the child because it is punishment to the child to not be able to see their mother my son's mother was addicted to heroin and stole him and when I finally got him back ,after about five years I let him go see his mom and he made the decision from there that he didn't want to see her anymore but it wasn't me keeping him away because that makes them hate you
 Quoting: UrMomsD1ld0


He’s 3 and a 1/2 she’s been gone for about 2 years and he doesn’t seem to remember her and has done way better than he ever did before she was gone.
PostIndustrialPeace (OP)
User ID: 77410504
United States
05/20/2019 09:06 PM
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Re: Need some advice(Single Dad)
Thanks for the feedback from a few different people on the thread hopefully her crazy mother can handle it when I let her know. She’s pretty crazy herself but that’s a whole different can of worms lol I will continue to do what’s best for my son and if bridges get burned so be it.

GLP advice to the rescue best forum ever thanks guys!!
Red John
There can be Only One

User ID: 36786038
Canada
05/20/2019 09:26 PM

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Re: Need some advice(Single Dad)
First off how old is the child because it is punishment to the child to not be able to see their mother my son's mother was addicted to heroin and stole him and when I finally got him back ,after about five years I let him go see his mom and he made the decision from there that he didn't want to see her anymore but it wasn't me keeping him away because that makes them hate you
 Quoting: UrMomsD1ld0


He’s 3 and a 1/2 she’s been gone for about 2 years and he doesn’t seem to remember her and has done way better than he ever did before she was gone.
 Quoting: PostIndustrialPeace 77410504


he won't have a clue who she is

children do not form retained memories before age 2 - 3

I lost my mum when I was 3
I have no remembrance of her whatsoever
I lost my step mum when I was 5
I remember my first memories being with her not my birth mum

there will be no feelings of punishment or being deprived because the child never knew the birth mum

avoid reconnecting because if she's still nutz then the potential for damage is increased rather than if he never meets her

Last Edited by Red John on 05/20/2019 09:59 PM
General Failure Reading Drive A:
Who is General Failure?

There can be Only One

to whomever it was who gave me the gold star
thankyou
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 75686694
Canada
05/20/2019 09:32 PM
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Re: Need some advice(Single Dad)
OP why did you put your dick inside crazy?
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 75686694
Canada
05/20/2019 09:32 PM
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Re: Need some advice(Single Dad)
OP why did you put your dick inside crazy?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 75686694


Red John
There can be Only One

User ID: 36786038
Canada
05/20/2019 09:34 PM

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Re: Need some advice(Single Dad)
OP why did you put your dick inside crazy?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 75686694


sometimes they're not crazy until after baby

or it's latent crazy that doesn't show up until "circumstances"
General Failure Reading Drive A:
Who is General Failure?

There can be Only One

to whomever it was who gave me the gold star
thankyou
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 77662731
United States
05/20/2019 09:35 PM
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Re: Need some advice(Single Dad)
You will regret allowing the mom back into your lives. When I went throuth similiar problems I was the stand up guy.....

I blew several chances to have a mentally ill unstable person to be permanently removed from my kids lives. They are both 30ish now but went through hell because mom is crazy and I did not do enough to stop it. The biggest regret of my life.

Dont worry what grandnma thinks. Take my word for this. The apples rarely fall to far from the tree.

If you still are dumb enough to allow contact get your ex to give you a release of info so you can talk to her mental health professional. If she does not have one, well red flag 10. If she is not on meds another red banner.
MissCleo

User ID: 77082640
United States
05/20/2019 09:46 PM

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Re: Need some advice(Single Dad)
I'm a single dad and every decision I make is to PROTECT my children from idiocy, mental harm and being put in compromising positions. Use your heart but mostly your gut on this one and mostly your logical mind. Ask yourself, what is the benifit of this sudden shake up in the stable world you have built for them?
 Quoting: ***SUPERFLY***


This.
We are the adults and have to make decisions based on what's best for the child.

Set boundaries, stick to them.

I wish someone would have protected me from bad parents when I was a child of a divorce.

Last Edited by MissCleo on 05/20/2019 09:46 PM
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 77657973
Australia
05/20/2019 09:52 PM
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Re: Need some advice(Single Dad)
Do. Not. Accept that request, furthermore follow said equestrian with Blocking her, I’d block her mother too, what mum can see so can she if her mother lets her....
Cleolotus

User ID: 77660896
New Zealand
05/20/2019 10:01 PM

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Re: Need some advice(Single Dad)
So my son’s mother went crazy about 3-4 years ago. She threatened his life when he was an infant and mine as well as insane accusations and basically making our lives hell.

She got involuntarily committed a few years back and I got full custody with restraining orders. She didn’t even show up to court... after she was out of the psych hospital and had two chances.

Now her mother (who has basically reached out 5 times in 3 years and never visited) is messaging me did i know she had a daughter now. I say no and say good luck to her. Then the mom says she sent you a friends request. I say Ok.

Why would I accept this invite and what do I do when her mom asks why I didn’t accept it?

I’ve never asked or gotten anything from her as far as child support. I stopped contacting her when I found out the psych hospital didn’t help. For all I know she doesn’t have custody of this daughter either. I would rather not burn all bridges with her family, my son’s relatives but I feel like I can’t accept this invite.

Also I know Facebook is fucking retarded but I do use it keep I touch with family time to time.
 Quoting: PostIndustrialPeace 77410504


Definitely don't accept the Friend Request! You do not owe her anything!

If her Mother says anything just say you would rather let bygones be bygones due to what happened in the past.

I can only see future stress and manipulation from her if you accept!