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Anyone else had to cut a toxic parent out of their life?

 
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 76638889
United Kingdom
05/27/2019 12:16 PM
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Re: Anyone else had to cut a toxic parent out of their life?
There is no reason why OP has to completely cut herself off from her father.

What the OP needs to do is learn how to stand up for herself, instead of just ghosting people.


The OP is not thinking about her father.


She's only thinking about herself. And her own interests.


She is being selfish and self-centered.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 76638889


What the OP plans on doing to her father is GHOSTING him. [link to en.wikipedia.org (secure)]


Maybe people consider that to be a form of ABUSE!!!!



What OP is doing is just keeping the cycle of pain and hatred going.


She is being a child.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 76984449
United States
05/27/2019 12:17 PM
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Re: Anyone else had to cut a toxic parent out of their life?
Yes. Both of my parents were abusive and now I'm in an abusive marriage, recently coming to terms and trying to figure how to get out. You are not alone. Everyone seems to have gone nuts, abuse, confusion, disorder is now the norm. It'll be a great money-maker to be in the mental illness industry these days.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 56563724


Lots of you tube videos to help people to get out of abusive relationships and how to go about healing.
bleep

User ID: 52923498
United States
05/27/2019 12:17 PM

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Re: Anyone else had to cut a toxic parent out of their life?
There is no reason why OP has to completely cut herself off from her father.

What the OP needs to do is learn how to stand up for herself, instead of just ghosting people.


The OP is not thinking about her father.


She's only thinking about herself. And her own interests.


She is being selfish and self-centered.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 76638889


She should be thinking about her own interests and the interests of her child.

Sometimes leaving is a lot better then gearing up for an unnecessary battle.
 Quoting: bleep


She's acting like a child.

She's treating her father like someone who deserves NO love, compassion, kindness, and respect.

She is not being empathetic by doing so.

A strong and compassionate person would not cut someone off who loves them.

Only a weak person would.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 76638889


If you have kids, and if someone who used to hurtyou is trying to hurt your kid, you go with your kids, not with someone who has a history of being a manipulative asshole. Some people deserve to be cut out.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 76638889
United Kingdom
05/27/2019 12:19 PM
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Re: Anyone else had to cut a toxic parent out of their life?
Question for you guys -

Do you think ghosting people is morally ok?

"Ghosting", as in... completely cutting off all forms of contact with someone, without notice, an without giving them a reason... or anything else.


Like... just completely disappearing from someone's life... forever.... and ignoring all attempts of the other person's contact.

Wikipedia definition - [link to en.wikipedia.org (secure)]
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 76638889


Generally, no one owes you shit. Not even an explanation

If you are responsible for someone, a child for example, or if you’re in a contract, like a marriage, or a buisness arangement, and you run off without an explanation, then no it’s not ok, and there are consequences.

I’ve been ghosted, and it hurts. All those who ghosted me tried to come back. I don’t ever talk to them again. You reep what you sow.
 Quoting: bleep


Ghosting DOES hurt.


I've been ghosted too.


It sucks. It's like throwing someone overboard from a boat in the middle of the ocean.


There is nothing morally ok about that.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 76984449
United States
05/27/2019 12:21 PM
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Re: Anyone else had to cut a toxic parent out of their life?
My Mother..Twenty year's ago..She passed away two year's ago..She was as cold as ice and never once told me or any of my sister's she loved us...not once..Never went to her funeral..The beatings i took from my step-father under her orders will never leave me..Now i have four beautiful grown up children who i adore.
 Quoting: Hawkshot


My mom said she loved me but just said it to manipulate me and my siblings. It meant nothing. They are just words and without feeling are trash.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 76638889
United Kingdom
05/27/2019 12:23 PM
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Re: Anyone else had to cut a toxic parent out of their life?
Question for you guys -

Do you think ghosting people is morally ok?

"Ghosting", as in... completely cutting off all forms of contact with someone, without notice, an without giving them a reason... or anything else.


Like... just completely disappearing from someone's life... forever.... and ignoring all attempts of the other person's contact.

Wikipedia definition - [link to en.wikipedia.org (secure)]
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 76638889


Generally, no one owes you shit. Not even an explanation

If you are responsible for someone, a child for example, or if you’re in a contract, like a marriage, or a buisness arangement, and you run off without an explanation, then no it’s not ok, and there are consequences.

I’ve been ghosted, and it hurts. All those who ghosted me tried to come back. I don’t ever talk to them again. You reep what you sow.
 Quoting: bleep


Ghosting DOES hurt.


I've been ghosted too.


It sucks. It's like throwing someone overboard from a boat in the middle of the ocean.


There is nothing morally ok about that.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 76638889


Thrown overboard, without any reason.... and left there stranded.

Like :P

It's not ok, ok? :P

It. Is. Abuse.



The OP is just countering her father's abuse with more abuse of her own.



OP needs to learn to stand up for herself and her son.


:)


She obviously doesn't know how to, and prefers to abuse people instead.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 76984449
United States
05/27/2019 12:26 PM
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Re: Anyone else had to cut a toxic parent out of their life?
There is no reason why OP has to completely cut herself off from her father.

What the OP needs to do is learn how to stand up for herself, instead of just ghosting people.


The OP is not thinking about her father.


She's only thinking about herself. And her own interests.


She is being selfish and self-centered.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 76638889


No she’s not. She’s thinking of her son and protecting him. So stop with the judgement.

She needs to keep her son away from that sociopathic old man.

And she does need to protect herself or the stress from dealing with s monster will kill her.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 77239290
United States
05/27/2019 12:29 PM
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Re: Anyone else had to cut a toxic parent out of their life?
I was born into an emotionally & physically abusive family. I escaped the physical abuse mostly because my father abandoned us when I was only 3. After that I was raised by my crazy mother and 3 crazy sister-mothers who were all older than me by nearly a decade. Having 4 dysfunctional mothers really sucked. My mother is the world's biggest narcissist who makes EVERYTHING about her and my sisters are just plain mean....they tormented me thru my entire youth. My fear & terror was their entertainment. I want to abandon them all because I mostly hate them all but they emotionally black mail me constantly into putting their feelings before my own. I also hate them for raising me like a woman or worse, like the family pet, who now cares about "feelings" and more about animals than humans. I'd give anything to be a "normal man" who didn't have or care about "feelings" but it is too late.....the damage is done.

Today for example, I got into yet another meltdown argument with my mother because she has to give me shit for not wanting to talk to family on holidays. She thinks I should be thrilled that my family only calls me to have forced conversations on holidays and my point is that if my family really cared about me, they'd call and ask about my life and want to learn about me on random days....but they don't. I ONLY get called on holidays when they feel they have to call me and then the phone gets passed around and I have to have forced conversations with people I know are ONLY talking to me because it is a holiday. I on the other hand ALWAYS used to call them when I was out working & driving around bored because I cared and wanted to know how they were doing. I stopped doing that because no one EVER would do the same for me. They ONLY call on holidays for the forced conversations because they feel like they have to....and I want no part of it. So my 84yo mother got all angry at me & hung up on me because I refused to see those phone calls the way she/they do.

So why do I still talk to them? Well, about 5 years ago I decided I wasn't going to do it anymore and my mother basically just shut down and stopped taking care of herself, got the flu which turned into pneumonia and very nearly died. Recently, after several shit conversations, I decided not to call for a couple of weeks. She did the same fucking thing.....completely shut down, got a massive UTI, stopped bathing, stopped eating and nearly died. Emotional blackmail is real and it fucking sucks. I hate my fucking family.....and yeah, I have real issues with women because of it.

Oh well....boo-fucking-hoo right? LOL.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 76984449
United States
05/27/2019 12:29 PM
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Re: Anyone else had to cut a toxic parent out of their life?
There is no reason why OP has to completely cut herself off from her father.

What the OP needs to do is learn how to stand up for herself, instead of just ghosting people.


The OP is not thinking about her father.


She's only thinking about herself. And her own interests.


She is being selfish and self-centered.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 76638889


She should be thinking about her own interests and the interests of her child.

Sometimes leaving is a lot better then gearing up for an unnecessary battle.
 Quoting: bleep


Malignant narcissists love battles. They are like very mean toddlers. The best thing to do to these people since you can’t reason with them is to ignore them. Don’t show any emotion to them if you have to deal with them. They will try to upset you and those you love on purpose. It is how they obtain their energy and power. They love making people feel bad. They are bullies and vampires. You could be perfect and they would find fault.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 76984449
United States
05/27/2019 12:31 PM
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Re: Anyone else had to cut a toxic parent out of their life?
Question for you guys -

Do you think ghosting people is morally ok?

"Ghosting", as in... completely cutting off all forms of contact with someone, without notice, an without giving them a reason... or anything else.


Like... just completely disappearing from someone's life... forever.... and ignoring all attempts of the other person's contact.

Wikipedia definition - [link to en.wikipedia.org (secure)]
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 76638889


If they are dangerous to you or those you love then yes. Leave them.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 76984449
United States
05/27/2019 12:31 PM
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Re: Anyone else had to cut a toxic parent out of their life?
so last time i saw 10 biological family members was 12 years ago

family limits your development
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 77339002


They sure can.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 76984449
United States
05/27/2019 12:33 PM
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Re: Anyone else had to cut a toxic parent out of their life?
There is no reason why OP has to completely cut herself off from her father.

What the OP needs to do is learn how to stand up for herself, instead of just ghosting people.


The OP is not thinking about her father.


She's only thinking about herself. And her own interests.


She is being selfish and self-centered.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 76638889


She should be thinking about her own interests and the interests of her child.

Sometimes leaving is a lot better then gearing up for an unnecessary battle.
 Quoting: bleep


She's acting like a child.

She's treating her father like someone who deserves NO love, compassion, kindness, and respect.

She is not being empathetic by doing so.

A strong and compassionate person would not cut someone off who loves them.

Only a weak person would.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 76638889


A strong person walks or even runs away from abuse. No matter who is doing it.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 76638889
United Kingdom
05/27/2019 12:34 PM
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Re: Anyone else had to cut a toxic parent out of their life?
Question for you guys -

Do you think ghosting people is morally ok?

"Ghosting", as in... completely cutting off all forms of contact with someone, without notice, an without giving them a reason... or anything else.


Like... just completely disappearing from someone's life... forever.... and ignoring all attempts of the other person's contact.

Wikipedia definition - [link to en.wikipedia.org (secure)]
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 76638889


Generally, no one owes you shit. Not even an explanation

If you are responsible for someone, a child for example, or if you’re in a contract, like a marriage, or a buisness arangement, and you run off without an explanation, then no it’s not ok, and there are consequences.

I’ve been ghosted, and it hurts. All those who ghosted me tried to come back. I don’t ever talk to them again. You reep what you sow.
 Quoting: bleep


Ghosting DOES hurt.


I've been ghosted too.


It sucks. It's like throwing someone overboard from a boat in the middle of the ocean.


There is nothing morally ok about that.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 76638889


Thrown overboard, without any reason.... and left there stranded.

Like :P

It's not ok, ok? :P

It. Is. Abuse.



The OP is just countering her father's abuse with more abuse of her own.



OP needs to learn to stand up for herself and her son.


:)


She obviously doesn't know how to, and prefers to abuse people instead.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 76638889


Like, I will be honest guys.... My girlfriend actually cut off all contact with me several months ago.


And I will admit.... I wasn't being the most positive and pleasant person before she did so.


And maybe I was abusing her (not physically) to *some extent*....... just being a selfish child, really.


But several months later, and she's still doing it.


She does it to all of her family, except her daughter.



I mean :P... it's not 100% ghosting.... but like 96% probably :P



But she told me that she LOVES to do that to people.



It hurts though.


She tells me she loves me from time to time, and I believe her... but like.... I'm not sure how it's all going to play out from here.


If she does come back to me..... which I think she will.... I will love her, and treat her right. And not mess up again.


Because that is the right thing to do.


I am not going to get revenge.... or.... get even. But I will show her the effects of what she did.


And I think that's how we all should approach these kinds of things.


Treat everyone with love, compassion, kindness, and truth.


:)
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 76984449
United States
05/27/2019 12:35 PM
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Re: Anyone else had to cut a toxic parent out of their life?
There is no reason why OP has to completely cut herself off from her father.

What the OP needs to do is learn how to stand up for herself, instead of just ghosting people.


The OP is not thinking about her father.


She's only thinking about herself. And her own interests.


She is being selfish and self-centered.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 76638889


What the OP plans on doing to her father is GHOSTING him. [link to en.wikipedia.org (secure)]


Maybe people consider that to be a form of ABUSE!!!!



What OP is doing is just keeping the cycle of pain and hatred going.


She is being a child.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 76638889


It’s stupid to stay around someone who is abusing you. Better for OP to leave the situation and get therapy for herself if she thinks she needs it. She definitely needs to protect her son.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 76984449
United States
05/27/2019 12:37 PM
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Re: Anyone else had to cut a toxic parent out of their life?
Question for you guys -

Do you think ghosting people is morally ok?

"Ghosting", as in... completely cutting off all forms of contact with someone, without notice, an without giving them a reason... or anything else.


Like... just completely disappearing from someone's life... forever.... and ignoring all attempts of the other person's contact.

Wikipedia definition - [link to en.wikipedia.org (secure)]
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 76638889


Generally, no one owes you shit. Not even an explanation

If you are responsible for someone, a child for example, or if you’re in a contract, like a marriage, or a buisness arangement, and you run off without an explanation, then no it’s not ok, and there are consequences.

I’ve been ghosted, and it hurts. All those who ghosted me tried to come back. I don’t ever talk to them again. You reep what you sow.
 Quoting: bleep


Ghosting DOES hurt.


I've been ghosted too.


It sucks. It's like throwing someone overboard from a boat in the middle of the ocean.


There is nothing morally ok about that.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 76638889


They deserve to be ghosted if they were abusive.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 76984449
United States
05/27/2019 12:38 PM
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Re: Anyone else had to cut a toxic parent out of their life?
Question for you guys -

Do you think ghosting people is morally ok?

"Ghosting", as in... completely cutting off all forms of contact with someone, without notice, an without giving them a reason... or anything else.


Like... just completely disappearing from someone's life... forever.... and ignoring all attempts of the other person's contact.

Wikipedia definition - [link to en.wikipedia.org (secure)]
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 76638889


Generally, no one owes you shit. Not even an explanation

If you are responsible for someone, a child for example, or if you’re in a contract, like a marriage, or a buisness arangement, and you run off without an explanation, then no it’s not ok, and there are consequences.

I’ve been ghosted, and it hurts. All those who ghosted me tried to come back. I don’t ever talk to them again. You reep what you sow.
 Quoting: bleep


Ghosting DOES hurt.


I've been ghosted too.


It sucks. It's like throwing someone overboard from a boat in the middle of the ocean.


There is nothing morally ok about that.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 76638889


Thrown overboard, without any reason.... and left there stranded.

Like :P

It's not ok, ok? :P

It. Is. Abuse.



The OP is just countering her father's abuse with more abuse of her own.



OP needs to learn to stand up for herself and her son.


:)


She obviously doesn't know how to, and prefers to abuse people instead.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 76638889


If she has talked to her father and put up boundaries and he keeps smashing through them then she needs to leave him. She owes him nothing.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 76638889
United Kingdom
05/27/2019 12:39 PM
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Re: Anyone else had to cut a toxic parent out of their life?
There is no reason why OP has to completely cut herself off from her father.

What the OP needs to do is learn how to stand up for herself, instead of just ghosting people.


The OP is not thinking about her father.


She's only thinking about herself. And her own interests.


She is being selfish and self-centered.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 76638889


No she’s not. She’s thinking of her son and protecting him. So stop with the judgement.

She needs to keep her son away from that sociopathic old man.

And she does need to protect herself or the stress from dealing with s monster will kill her.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 76984449


Her father is not a "monster". He's a human being like all of us.

She will solve this problem she has with her father by communicating with him, and standing up for herself... and being STRONG...... and by working things out.


It's really just laziness.


She needs to get off her butt and do what is morally right, and be the light she is in this world. :) <3
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 77677829
05/27/2019 12:39 PM
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Re: Anyone else had to cut a toxic parent out of their life?
...


Generally, no one owes you shit. Not even an explanation

If you are responsible for someone, a child for example, or if you’re in a contract, like a marriage, or a buisness arangement, and you run off without an explanation, then no it’s not ok, and there are consequences.

I’ve been ghosted, and it hurts. All those who ghosted me tried to come back. I don’t ever talk to them again. You reep what you sow.
 Quoting: bleep


Ghosting DOES hurt.


I've been ghosted too.


It sucks. It's like throwing someone overboard from a boat in the middle of the ocean.


There is nothing morally ok about that.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 76638889


Thrown overboard, without any reason.... and left there stranded.

Like :P

It's not ok, ok? :P

It. Is. Abuse.



The OP is just countering her father's abuse with more abuse of her own.



OP needs to learn to stand up for herself and her son.


:)


She obviously doesn't know how to, and prefers to abuse people instead.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 76638889


Like, I will be honest guys.... My girlfriend actually cut off all contact with me several months ago.


And I will admit.... I wasn't being the most positive and pleasant person before she did so.


And maybe I was abusing her (not physically) to *some extent*....... just being a selfish child, really.


But several months later, and she's still doing it.


She does it to all of her family, except her daughter.



I mean :P... it's not 100% ghosting.... but like 96% probably :P



But she told me that she LOVES to do that to people.



It hurts though.


She tells me she loves me from time to time, and I believe her... but like.... I'm not sure how it's all going to play out from here.


If she does come back to me..... which I think she will.... I will love her, and treat her right. And not mess up again.


Because that is the right thing to do.


I am not going to get revenge.... or.... get even. But I will show her the effects of what she did.


And I think that's how we all should approach these kinds of things.


Treat everyone with love, compassion, kindness, and truth.


:)
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 76638889




stfu



gtfo5


.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 76638889
United Kingdom
05/27/2019 12:41 PM
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Re: Anyone else had to cut a toxic parent out of their life?
...


Generally, no one owes you shit. Not even an explanation

If you are responsible for someone, a child for example, or if you’re in a contract, like a marriage, or a buisness arangement, and you run off without an explanation, then no it’s not ok, and there are consequences.

I’ve been ghosted, and it hurts. All those who ghosted me tried to come back. I don’t ever talk to them again. You reep what you sow.
 Quoting: bleep


Ghosting DOES hurt.


I've been ghosted too.


It sucks. It's like throwing someone overboard from a boat in the middle of the ocean.


There is nothing morally ok about that.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 76638889


Thrown overboard, without any reason.... and left there stranded.

Like :P

It's not ok, ok? :P

It. Is. Abuse.



The OP is just countering her father's abuse with more abuse of her own.



OP needs to learn to stand up for herself and her son.


:)


She obviously doesn't know how to, and prefers to abuse people instead.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 76638889


If she has talked to her father and put up boundaries and he keeps smashing through them then she needs to leave him. She owes him nothing.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 76984449


I disagree with the part in bold.

I myself have actually contemplated cutting off all contact with the man who raised me....


But I knew that was wrong. I wouldn't be here without him.


I owe lots to him.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 76984449
United States
05/27/2019 12:42 PM
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Re: Anyone else had to cut a toxic parent out of their life?
I was born into an emotionally & physically abusive family. I escaped the physical abuse mostly because my father abandoned us when I was only 3. After that I was raised by my crazy mother and 3 crazy sister-mothers who were all older than me by nearly a decade. Having 4 dysfunctional mothers really sucked. My mother is the world's biggest narcissist who makes EVERYTHING about her and my sisters are just plain mean....they tormented me thru my entire youth. My fear & terror was their entertainment. I want to abandon them all because I mostly hate them all but they emotionally black mail me constantly into putting their feelings before my own. I also hate them for raising me like a woman or worse, like the family pet, who now cares about "feelings" and more about animals than humans. I'd give anything to be a "normal man" who didn't have or care about "feelings" but it is too late.....the damage is done.

Today for example, I got into yet another meltdown argument with my mother because she has to give me shit for not wanting to talk to family on holidays. She thinks I should be thrilled that my family only calls me to have forced conversations on holidays and my point is that if my family really cared about me, they'd call and ask about my life and want to learn about me on random days....but they don't. I ONLY get called on holidays when they feel they have to call me and then the phone gets passed around and I have to have forced conversations with people I know are ONLY talking to me because it is a holiday. I on the other hand ALWAYS used to call them when I was out working & driving around bored because I cared and wanted to know how they were doing. I stopped doing that because no one EVER would do the same for me. They ONLY call on holidays for the forced conversations because they feel like they have to....and I want no part of it. So my 84yo mother got all angry at me & hung up on me because I refused to see those phone calls the way she/they do.

So why do I still talk to them? Well, about 5 years ago I decided I wasn't going to do it anymore and my mother basically just shut down and stopped taking care of herself, got the flu which turned into pneumonia and very nearly died. Recently, after several shit conversations, I decided not to call for a couple of weeks. She did the same fucking thing.....completely shut down, got a massive UTI, stopped bathing, stopped eating and nearly died. Emotional blackmail is real and it fucking sucks. I hate my fucking family.....and yeah, I have real issues with women because of it.

Oh well....boo-fucking-hoo right? LOL.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 77239290


It’s not too late for you. She’s acting like a child and she knows it works with you. Get on you tube and start watching videos of children of narcissistic parents and how to heal from them. It saved my life.
Jaena

User ID: 39440397
United States
05/27/2019 12:43 PM

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Re: Anyone else had to cut a toxic parent out of their life?
I was born into an emotionally & physically abusive family. I escaped the physical abuse mostly because my father abandoned us when I was only 3. After that I was raised by my crazy mother and 3 crazy sister-mothers who were all older than me by nearly a decade. Having 4 dysfunctional mothers really sucked. My mother is the world's biggest narcissist who makes EVERYTHING about her and my sisters are just plain mean....they tormented me thru my entire youth. My fear & terror was their entertainment. I want to abandon them all because I mostly hate them all but they emotionally black mail me constantly into putting their feelings before my own. I also hate them for raising me like a woman or worse, like the family pet, who now cares about "feelings" and more about animals than humans. I'd give anything to be a "normal man" who didn't have or care about "feelings" but it is too late.....the damage is done.

Today for example, I got into yet another meltdown argument with my mother because she has to give me shit for not wanting to talk to family on holidays. She thinks I should be thrilled that my family only calls me to have forced conversations on holidays and my point is that if my family really cared about me, they'd call and ask about my life and want to learn about me on random days....but they don't. I ONLY get called on holidays when they feel they have to call me and then the phone gets passed around and I have to have forced conversations with people I know are ONLY talking to me because it is a holiday. I on the other hand ALWAYS used to call them when I was out working & driving around bored because I cared and wanted to know how they were doing. I stopped doing that because no one EVER would do the same for me. They ONLY call on holidays for the forced conversations because they feel like they have to....and I want no part of it. So my 84yo mother got all angry at me & hung up on me because I refused to see those phone calls the way she/they do.

So why do I still talk to them? Well, about 5 years ago I decided I wasn't going to do it anymore and my mother basically just shut down and stopped taking care of herself, got the flu which turned into pneumonia and very nearly died. Recently, after several shit conversations, I decided not to call for a couple of weeks. She did the same fucking thing.....completely shut down, got a massive UTI, stopped bathing, stopped eating and nearly died. Emotional blackmail is real and it fucking sucks. I hate my fucking family.....and yeah, I have real issues with women because of it.

Oh well....boo-fucking-hoo right? LOL.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 77239290


hugs

It does fkn suck.
INFJ ~ protector
Be well and strong in body and spirit.
Trust the process, victory is the goal, determination gets us there.
There isn't a single person on this planet who is entitled to treat you like shit.. remember that.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 76984449
United States
05/27/2019 12:46 PM
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Re: Anyone else had to cut a toxic parent out of their life?
...


Generally, no one owes you shit. Not even an explanation

If you are responsible for someone, a child for example, or if you’re in a contract, like a marriage, or a buisness arangement, and you run off without an explanation, then no it’s not ok, and there are consequences. They

I’ve been ghosted, and it hurts. All those who ghosted me tried to come back. I don’t ever talk to them again. You reep what you sow.
 Quoting: bleep


Ghosting DOES hurt.


I've been ghosted too.


It sucks. It's like throwing someone overboard from a boat in the middle of the ocean.


There is nothing morally ok about that.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 76638889


Thrown overboard, without any reason.... and left there stranded.

Like :P

It's not ok, ok? :P

It. Is. Abuse.



The OP is just countering her father's abuse with more abuse of her own.



OP needs to learn to stand up for herself and her son.


:)


She obviously doesn't know how to, and prefers to abuse people instead.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 76638889


Like, I will be honest guys.... My girlfriend actually cut off all contact with me several months ago.


And I will admit.... I wasn't being the most positive and pleasant person before she did so.


And maybe I was abusing her (not physically) to *some extent*....... just being a selfish child, really.


But several months later, and she's still doing it.


She does it to all of her family, except her daughter.



I mean :P... it's not 100% ghosting.... but like 96% probably :P



But she told me that she LOVES to do that to people.



It hurts though.


She tells me she loves me from time to time, and I believe her... but like.... I'm not sure how it's all going to play out from here.


If she does come back to me..... which I think she will.... I will love her, and treat her right. And not mess up again.


Because that is the right thing to do.


I am not going to get revenge.... or.... get even. But I will show her the effects of what she did.


And I think that's how we all should approach these kinds of things.


Treat everyone with love, compassion, kindness, and truth.


:)
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 76638889


Yes we should treat everyone with love but when they abuse you back you leave. Not everyone responds to love. They see it as a weakness and abuse further. These are sociopaths and psychopaths. Get very far away from them. They thrive on you being miserable.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 70889270
United States
05/27/2019 12:47 PM
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Re: Anyone else had to cut a toxic parent out of their life?
No. Every generation has it easier than the last. If you don't understand your parents and why they are the way they are, you don't appreciate or deserve them.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 77674829


Disinfo agent detected
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 76984449
United States
05/27/2019 12:49 PM
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Re: Anyone else had to cut a toxic parent out of their life?
There is no reason why OP has to completely cut herself off from her father.

What the OP needs to do is learn how to stand up for herself, instead of just ghosting people.


The OP is not thinking about her father.


She's only thinking about herself. And her own interests.


She is being selfish and self-centered.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 76638889


No she’s not. She’s thinking of her son and protecting him. So stop with the judgement.

She needs to keep her son away from that sociopathic old man.

And she does need to protect herself or the stress from dealing with s monster will kill her.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 76984449


Her father is not a "monster". He's a human being like all of us.

She will solve this problem she has with her father by communicating with him, and standing up for herself... and being STRONG...... and by working things out.


It's really just laziness.


She needs to get off her butt and do what is morally right, and be the light she is in this world. :) <3
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 76638889


That is not how it always works. Some people just get more abusive. Stop projecting yourself onto her. You want to go back to an abusive person then go. No one else has to.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 76984449
United States
05/27/2019 12:50 PM
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Re: Anyone else had to cut a toxic parent out of their life?
...


Ghosting DOES hurt.


I've been ghosted too.


It sucks. It's like throwing someone overboard from a boat in the middle of the ocean.


There is nothing morally ok about that.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 76638889


Thrown overboard, without any reason.... and left there stranded.

Like :P

It's not ok, ok? :P

It. Is. Abuse.



The OP is just countering her father's abuse with more abuse of her own.



OP needs to learn to stand up for herself and her son.


:)


She obviously doesn't know how to, and prefers to abuse people instead.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 76638889


If she has talked to her father and put up boundaries and he keeps smashing through them then she needs to leave him. She owes him nothing.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 76984449


I disagree with the part in bold.

I myself have actually contemplated cutting off all contact with the man who raised me....


But I knew that was wrong. I wouldn't be here without him.


I owe lots to him.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 76638889


Then you do what you have to do and she will do what she has to. Quit judging what others need to do for themselves.

I will never tell a person to stay in an abusive relationship.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 71063173
Canada
05/27/2019 12:51 PM
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Re: Anyone else had to cut a toxic parent out of their life?
Life is too short to put up with anybody who doesn't contribute to your quality of life. You don't owe anything to anyone. Should you choose to put up with an uncomfortable situation temporarily in an attempt at a good outcome that is honorable, but I see no dishonor in setting boundaries, even if that boundary is a barrier. People need to act right, fuck em.

cheers
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 76984449
United States
05/27/2019 12:51 PM
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Re: Anyone else had to cut a toxic parent out of their life?
No. Every generation has it easier than the last. If you don't understand your parents and why they are the way they are, you don't appreciate or deserve them.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 77674829


Disinfo agent detected
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 70889270


Yup. Abusive parents don’t deserve their kids.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 70175159
United States
05/27/2019 12:53 PM
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Re: Anyone else had to cut a toxic parent out of their life?
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 76984449
United States
05/27/2019 12:53 PM
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Re: Anyone else had to cut a toxic parent out of their life?
Life is too short to put up with anybody who doesn't contribute to your quality of life. You don't owe anything to anyone. Should you choose to put up with an uncomfortable situation temporarily in an attempt at a good outcome that is honorable, but I see no dishonor in setting boundaries, even if that boundary is a barrier. People need to act right, fuck em.

cheers
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 71063173


Exactly. The only people who would tell a person to stay is another abuser who people keep leaving. They hate being ignored because they are energy vampires who have no life within themselves.
3643297

User ID: 76832232
United States
05/27/2019 12:56 PM
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Re: Anyone else had to cut a toxic parent out of their life?
If someone is constantly rude and insulting to you, or worse, that means they don’t want you in their life. Why is that so hard to understand.