Anyone else had to cut a toxic parent out of their life?

Spoken like a true victim

Fucking daddy issues. No wonder you're such a dolt.

Time to take responsibility tito.

you're going to have to move on...and that process can be either long---drawn out, expensive, stressful, or you can go to this place, just get his intro DVD, and check it out. The quicker you let it go and get past the asshole, the better your life will be; don't let him drag you down

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OCCAM

You wouldn't allow anyone else to treat your child like this... Why allow a relative?

At this point its bigger than you. You have a responsibility to your child to protect him or her from abusive people.

You have to cut your father out of your life. When you realize that you really can't change another person it's a big step...

Where is the line then? If your father molested you and beat you when you were a child do you still have to take care of him and be his servant in his old age? It isn't the responsibility of the child to fill in all the holes and minimize the consequences of the poor decisions the parents made throughout life. Without mutual respect, a real relationship is impossible. Actions by parents also have natural consequences. You also reap what you sow.

When a child gets to the point where they no longer care about their own parents, there is usually a very serious reason behind it, because children are born with a strong parental bond already installed into their being. There are terrible children in this world too, but I sense nothing telling me that the OP is one of them.

The people chastising you for cutting your dad out of your life simply don't understand. I do. Fuck your dad. Fuck his negativity, selfishness and lack of empathy. Fuck him.
These things take guts to do. Good for you. Understand that the guilt you feel is because you actually possess empathy. You now possess the wisdom to remove the poison from your life and provide an example to your kin that they don't have to be shit on and call it love. Good work. Steady as she goes.

The world is constantly getting worse

You dont make any sense. I feel bad for teens these days, those phones are screwing them up, and their parents let it all happen.

First of all I am very sorry for your situation.
Second of all we teach people how to treat us
He is your dad and you do owe him respect
However
Let me say this clearly. Very clearly.
There. Can. Be. No. Abuse.
In your household. Zero.
Because. Abuse is abuse.
Watching somebody else be abused is abuse.
If your kids see this before age four they grow up thinking it is okay. It is normal. It changes who they are. It turns on genes that say the world is dangerous. It actually physically changes their personalities.

Do not allow any abuse if you want your kids to thrive.

From anyone.
Tell your dad he can come over but when the abuse starts in any form he will have to leave immediately.

If he does it again say he cannot have any contact for three months.

Then do it. You have to protect your kids.

If you don’t you allow the cycle to repeat.

Plus you are worthless if you know it and don’t do anything about it.

There can be no abuse. Five words.

He doesn’t love you or your son and probably never did. Those are the hints he’s dropping. Do him a big favor and cut the cord.

Sounds like my libtard dad who was the world's biggest hypocrite and was a self-loathing, self-hating, manic-depressive fuck.

Cut that demon out now so you can begin the healing process of losing a parent due to their own selfishness.

Shit, I rid myself of both them assholes decades ago.

I had to cut a parent out of my life. That parent became demanding that I live in a certain place and do certain things that I could not do. Then several family members tried to intervene and force me to do those things. So I cut them off too. No one owns me and no one tells me how to live.

You do not owe your life to your parents. If they want to have a loving relationship, fine. If they want to use you and won't stop, cut them off.

yes. cut them out of my life and that was a very good decision.

Not me, but my 29 year old daughter did it to her mom, my ex wife.
She told me it was the best thing she ever did for herself.

Feel sorry for the ex, but more so for my daughter. I mean, why do some people got to be like that?

Thanks again everyone.

I’m still very upset by all this. It’s keeping me awake when I need to be asleep.

He’s never had to be accountable for his actions. His acts like the perfect Christian around his friends. They have no idea how he really treats his family behind closed doors.

Just because he was the sperm donor does not mean you have to experience his wrath let alone your son having to also.

Use a hatchet.

This

hip hip hoooray ! for yew and your story book upbringing.
I brought nothing upon myself beyond showing respect,financially supporting her etc and managing to remain in an abusive situation for 25 years.

cut my abusive adoptive motheR loose and have absolutely no regrets.
feel sorry for myself ?
LOL
GET LOST.

wake up cupcake.
not all have a story book childhood & are PHYSICALLY and mentally abused.
and definitely I am NOT alone out here.

.

Research narcissism and narcissistic parents...my mother is one.

They never change.

Save yourself and your family.

we're all going to be held accountable for every millisecond
spent on earth by the Ultimate Judge Who is merciful but also JUST.

try and see if it's possible to visit when he's not there.

Be happy, live as a complete family, within yourself..

Fuck yeah. Haven't talked to my mom or my asshole brother in over 2 years. Haven't regretted it one bit.

This. ^^ 1000x this. ^^

I cut my mother out of my life 30 years ago, when she began treating my children and my brothers children the same hateful way she treated us as kids. Kids and adults are far better off with a smaller family, even if it's just themselves, than to spend any further time with hateful, abusive, toxic family members.

That is a comforting lie, isn't it?

I sooooooo omg hear you on this.

My mommy-dearest was a deacon's wife, seen by all as a kind and gentle woman. yuck yuck phooey! She could be screaming vile nasty words at me and the phone rings, she would flip immediately to her sweet persona and chat away, while I stared in disbelief. So many times I'd stare out the window, wishing that someone would look in and see the truth of our lives. As a teen, I finally got the nerve to tell someone, and they of course, did not believe me, because she had them all fooled. :/

Take charge of your life, my friend. He won't change, so leave him to his own misery and don't look back. You won't regret it. Karma will catch up to him in the way he deserves, step aside and allow that to happen. While you move on with your life, you and your other loved ones. Then you'll be able to sleep at night.

Those of us who were raised by an abusive, toxic parent... we HAVE to let go at some point, even decades later. Why?? Because if we don't put a stop to the poison, it can repeat in our own lives, with our own children. And/or them with their children. The cycle needs to be stopped. Both physically and emotionally.






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The fact that so many are calling their parents "toxic and abusive" is just a sign largely of how the kids have been brainwashed by the outside agenda...to turn against their parents.

Never ever seeing their real enemies.

Bullshit. Some of them are crazy and abusive and deserve to be locked in a box.

Yup.

My father cheated and abused my mother. After their divorce he won custody of us through a dirty divorce and continued to physically abuse my sister and I. He remarried and single mother with 4 kids from 4 different men, all because she was 10 years younger than him. That lasted 15 years and she was the same as he was to my sister and I.

We grew up, went out in the world and didn’t become fuckups regardless of the fuckups we were raised with. I got married and had a son, grew a conscious. Rekindled things with my father who was just divorcing his whore ex wife which was convenient for him to blame his past 15 years on. He moved in with us for 6 months after he had a surgery and needed taken care of. Things seemed good, this is where it gets good.....

He meets this ex wife2.0 lady and his cycle begins again. He crashed our rental car that we had for a road trip and we left early to come home so I could serve his extra wife papers and save him money, totals it, all within his parking lot because he was on his phone. My fault for letting him do I’ve but I just got back from a 680 mile round trip. He agrees to pay for the damages and sets up a payment plan with the company. During this time his dodge 3500 that he no longer needed to haul the stuff he used to because he lives in a 2 bedroom apt now broke a few parts and we paid for the maintenance on it. He again agreed to pay this back.

Fast forward a few months and he started telling my kids he’s getting married again and we’re all going to the Bahamas and this and that, this man had already promised my children to go to Disneyland when he got better from surgery and we had to ask him not to promise our kids things he wouldn’t follow through on. This came to a head again and he morphed back into his old self, showed up with the new whore and threatened to fight me in front of my children, called me all kinds of names until I had to tel him to leave.

He ended up telling us he wasn’t paying for the rest of the bills he owed, all in the midst of us just buying our first house and a missed payment on these accounts would have affected our final credit run for the mortgage. He told us we were fucked and sent lol over and over.

Since then we haven’t spoke and I don’t plan on reaching out anytime soon. He is very toxic and our family is better without him, my kids have my in laws two houses down and we are blessed as it is.

That felt good to write out, this is very recent. Thanks for the outlet OP