I cut them all out. Father was physically & emotionally abusive, cops I called ignored the bruises & believed his story that I fell so ran away. Years later he tracked me down-cops were as helpful as always when I reported harassment & even showed a note he left saying he was going to take my cats. I had to get myself to the point where I was willing & able to beat him to beat him the next time he showed up at my work or home, & I told him this & also that all those years of abuse might come out & I did not know if I would be able to stop-I might kill him. I had to mean it, & I did. I had to tell him twice when he called me before he left me alone for good.

I am extremely nonviolent, passive, & submissive to a fault. I save paper tp/towel tubes to move bugs outside & will not support factory farmed food. Now I even have learned helplessness from getting into one bad relationship into a worse one (I am safe now.) Looking back I see the seeds of my current learned helplessness where planted when my father attacked me I learned not to leave any marks on my abuser or the cops might arrest me (I scratched my father when he attacked me & the cops asked him if he wanted me arrested!)

He died completely alone-the 2 daughters from a previous marriage wrote him off, & I was told his other relatives cut him out when he kidnapped me when I was 2. GET AWAY FROM THAT PSYCHO BY ANY MEANS NECESSARY. Make a note of every failed attempt to ask police for protection. Let him know call is recorded when you tell him to leave you alone (& record it-there are awesome free apps.) Tell him because of his established propensity for violence if he goes against your wishes & shows up where you live/work you are going to assume he is there to hurt you & defend yourself accordingly. Buy a gun, & be prepared to use it. It's a shame you have feelings for him, ice cream & Happy meals stopped buying my love when the alcoholic got custody of me when I was 11 & started really beating me. My mother was mainly just a selfish c*nt, till she killed my cat-cut her out of my life after that.