Anyone else had to cut a toxic parent out of their life?

What the OP plans on doing to her father is GHOSTING him. [link to en.wikipedia.org (secure)]


Maybe people consider that to be a form of ABUSE!!!!



What OP is doing is just keeping the cycle of pain and hatred going.


She is being a child.

Lots of you tube videos to help people to get out of abusive relationships and how to go about healing.

If you have kids, and if someone who used to hurtyou is trying to hurt your kid, you go with your kids, not with someone who has a history of being a manipulative asshole. Some people deserve to be cut out.

Ghosting DOES hurt.


I've been ghosted too.


It sucks. It's like throwing someone overboard from a boat in the middle of the ocean.


There is nothing morally ok about that.

My mom said she loved me but just said it to manipulate me and my siblings. It meant nothing. They are just words and without feeling are trash.

Thrown overboard, without any reason.... and left there stranded.

Like :P

It's not ok, ok? :P

It. Is. Abuse.



The OP is just countering her father's abuse with more abuse of her own.



OP needs to learn to stand up for herself and her son.


:)


She obviously doesn't know how to, and prefers to abuse people instead.

No she’s not. She’s thinking of her son and protecting him. So stop with the judgement.

She needs to keep her son away from that sociopathic old man.

And she does need to protect herself or the stress from dealing with s monster will kill her.

I was born into an emotionally & physically abusive family. I escaped the physical abuse mostly because my father abandoned us when I was only 3. After that I was raised by my crazy mother and 3 crazy sister-mothers who were all older than me by nearly a decade. Having 4 dysfunctional mothers really sucked. My mother is the world's biggest narcissist who makes EVERYTHING about her and my sisters are just plain mean....they tormented me thru my entire youth. My fear & terror was their entertainment. I want to abandon them all because I mostly hate them all but they emotionally black mail me constantly into putting their feelings before my own. I also hate them for raising me like a woman or worse, like the family pet, who now cares about "feelings" and more about animals than humans. I'd give anything to be a "normal man" who didn't have or care about "feelings" but it is too late.....the damage is done.

Today for example, I got into yet another meltdown argument with my mother because she has to give me shit for not wanting to talk to family on holidays. She thinks I should be thrilled that my family only calls me to have forced conversations on holidays and my point is that if my family really cared about me, they'd call and ask about my life and want to learn about me on random days....but they don't. I ONLY get called on holidays when they feel they have to call me and then the phone gets passed around and I have to have forced conversations with people I know are ONLY talking to me because it is a holiday. I on the other hand ALWAYS used to call them when I was out working & driving around bored because I cared and wanted to know how they were doing. I stopped doing that because no one EVER would do the same for me. They ONLY call on holidays for the forced conversations because they feel like they have to....and I want no part of it. So my 84yo mother got all angry at me & hung up on me because I refused to see those phone calls the way she/they do.

So why do I still talk to them? Well, about 5 years ago I decided I wasn't going to do it anymore and my mother basically just shut down and stopped taking care of herself, got the flu which turned into pneumonia and very nearly died. Recently, after several shit conversations, I decided not to call for a couple of weeks. She did the same fucking thing.....completely shut down, got a massive UTI, stopped bathing, stopped eating and nearly died. Emotional blackmail is real and it fucking sucks. I hate my fucking family.....and yeah, I have real issues with women because of it.

Oh well....boo-fucking-hoo right? LOL.

Malignant narcissists love battles. They are like very mean toddlers. The best thing to do to these people since you can’t reason with them is to ignore them. Don’t show any emotion to them if you have to deal with them. They will try to upset you and those you love on purpose. It is how they obtain their energy and power. They love making people feel bad. They are bullies and vampires. You could be perfect and they would find fault.

If they are dangerous to you or those you love then yes. Leave them.

They sure can.

A strong person walks or even runs away from abuse. No matter who is doing it.

Like, I will be honest guys.... My girlfriend actually cut off all contact with me several months ago.


And I will admit.... I wasn't being the most positive and pleasant person before she did so.


And maybe I was abusing her (not physically) to *some extent*....... just being a selfish child, really.


But several months later, and she's still doing it.


She does it to all of her family, except her daughter.



I mean :P... it's not 100% ghosting.... but like 96% probably :P



But she told me that she LOVES to do that to people.



It hurts though.


She tells me she loves me from time to time, and I believe her... but like.... I'm not sure how it's all going to play out from here.


If she does come back to me..... which I think she will.... I will love her, and treat her right. And not mess up again.


Because that is the right thing to do.


I am not going to get revenge.... or.... get even. But I will show her the effects of what she did.


And I think that's how we all should approach these kinds of things.


Treat everyone with love, compassion, kindness, and truth.


:)

It’s stupid to stay around someone who is abusing you. Better for OP to leave the situation and get therapy for herself if she thinks she needs it. She definitely needs to protect her son.

They deserve to be ghosted if they were abusive.

If she has talked to her father and put up boundaries and he keeps smashing through them then she needs to leave him. She owes him nothing.

Her father is not a "monster". He's a human being like all of us.

She will solve this problem she has with her father by communicating with him, and standing up for herself... and being STRONG...... and by working things out.


It's really just laziness.


She needs to get off her butt and do what is morally right, and be the light she is in this world. :) <3

.

I disagree with the part in bold.

I myself have actually contemplated cutting off all contact with the man who raised me....


But I knew that was wrong. I wouldn't be here without him.


I owe lots to him.

It’s not too late for you. She’s acting like a child and she knows it works with you. Get on you tube and start watching videos of children of narcissistic parents and how to heal from them. It saved my life.

It does fkn suck.

Yes we should treat everyone with love but when they abuse you back you leave. Not everyone responds to love. They see it as a weakness and abuse further. These are sociopaths and psychopaths. Get very far away from them. They thrive on you being miserable.

Disinfo agent detected

That is not how it always works. Some people just get more abusive. Stop projecting yourself onto her. You want to go back to an abusive person then go. No one else has to.

Then you do what you have to do and she will do what she has to. Quit judging what others need to do for themselves.

I will never tell a person to stay in an abusive relationship.

Life is too short to put up with anybody who doesn't contribute to your quality of life. You don't owe anything to anyone. Should you choose to put up with an uncomfortable situation temporarily in an attempt at a good outcome that is honorable, but I see no dishonor in setting boundaries, even if that boundary is a barrier. People need to act right, fuck em.

cheers

Yup. Abusive parents don’t deserve their kids.

Exactly. The only people who would tell a person to stay is another abuser who people keep leaving. They hate being ignored because they are energy vampires who have no life within themselves.

If someone is constantly rude and insulting to you, or worse, that means they don’t want you in their life. Why is that so hard to understand.