Recognizing And Addressing Denial

While denial can have a negative impact on our lives, it can be hard to recognize when we are slipping into a state of denial. Here are some ways to be aware of when you are using denial as a defense mechanism.

Recurring Negative Themes

Look for themes in your life. Are you finding yourself in a series of harmful or unhealthy relationships? Do you have to deal with the negative consequences of addictive behavior on a regular basis? These questions can help us to take a hard look at the choices we are making and show us how we might be creating an environment that can foster the negative consequences we don't want.

We could also be fooling ourselves into thinking that we are helpless when the reality is that we are anything but helpless. If you notice this type of pattern, then it might be worth consulting with a licensed therapist or certified counselor to address your choices and your denial of the situation and your behavior patterns.

Blaming Groups of People

Have you ever used the phrase, "All [insert adjective] people are [negative quality]"? Chances are, you have. The problem with a phrase like this is that it allows us to deny our role in a given situation. As much as we would like to think the world revolves around us, the reality is that it is unlikely that the whole world got together to conspire against you and your relationships.

Therefore, it might be time to get honest with yourself and ask what you have contributed to the situation. Your actions do have weight, and they impact you, as well as others. Blame just allows you to shift the responsibility for your actions to someone else or a group of individuals.

Take note of when you use superlative language to describe the cause of your circumstances. When you do so, it can be that you are denying or ignoring how your actions are impacting your circumstances. After all, the one common denominator in all your dilemmas and difficult situations is you.

Consult Others Who Think Differently

When you are surrounded by individuals who think like you, it can be easy to deny reality, because your inner social circle is likely reinforcing your denial because they see things just as you do.

Be open to someone who thinks differently than you do. Allow them to challenge your thinking on various issues and be willing to examine your assumptions and opinions. You might find yourself asking different questions regarding how you view a situation or facts you might have been ignoring because they didn't fit into your version of that particular reality.

Think of it regarding politics. If you have a more liberal bent to your thinking, it might be worth it to develop a friendship with a conservative-minded individual, who can challenge your thinking and help you to look at the world differently.

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