Need advice. And prayer. Going through hell currently.

My heart goes out to you. You said you were at a shelter for several days did they not have anyone who advises abused wives in your situation? Generally there are legal aids. You did not mention any family or friends for support on your side who will help you be it emotionally or financially? Thing is if you have proof or your sure the inlaws are sexually accosting the kids somehow you have to make this claim in a legal format where restraining orders to keep them away for your children are necessary. Thing is they beat you to the courts and childrens services somehow you have to counter attack their claims with claims of your own.

Now you mentioned prayers, do you have a church you attend where you might get some support?

Sending prayers love and deep concern for you and your kids. Keep us posted

Sry didn't read wall of text, but just keep going until you get out.
God's speed

Honestly OP, log off and try to so better. For yourself and your kids. The internet is probably not the best place for you. Find a church. A woman's rights advocate. Something. Good luck. I will say a prayer for your kids.

What happened the last time you did this here?

Uhhh....file a police report, restraining order, divorce?

Whats so hard here?

I asked for legal aid and they made some excuse and didn't give me any numbers. I ended up leaving because of the drama. My mother has my back but is in another state. I havent told my father because he was never emotionally available to me and made me feel unworthy. Which is why I ended up with a guy like my husband. I Will probably end up speaking to my father at some point.

While i was in the shelter i felt safe enough to file a report on my mil. They are investigating her and she is beyond pissed. I dont have proof because they cover if very Well with money, mind control, and MATERIAL THINGS. Although some of them do have police records already.

I was going to church but backed out a while back because id rather be secluded at times, although i know that is of no use. I will probably go back but i left because the preacher made a comment about money that was not right. Thank you for your love....

Praying for you.

Okay, I made a thread before. But didnt know where to turn, and now its got deeper. Im gathering help sources and necessary documentation.

Do you have any family of your own that you can lean on for help - or maybe run to and stay with?

You need to get out and fast.

What state are you in OP? I would guess somewhere west of the Rockies?

I was always to scared to file a police report because he said if i did he would come after me and hurt me. And that he has a death wish and would take the cops out As Well.

Its not that easy. He made me think i was safe for him to take care of me while i raised our kids but instead makes me account for all the money and has access to it all. He is divorcing me, but it says he is trying to make ME pay child support and he wants full custody.

I'm confused as to why the only thing you've CAPPED was that he wants you to pay child support. Right now, that is the least of your worries. You aren't thinking right and that's understandable but please figure it out quick.

Prayers for you and yours.

There are two sides to this, I will probably believe his side...

Relocate

I hope help finds you.

Want to go on a date?

Tbank you.

I cant believe i let him steal my body and soul... I am way too amazing for this. My family is successfully snapping me out of his spell and im working on another place for us to live.

I have felt like an empty shell for awhile but I feel confident now that this is Gods way of getting me out... I cant believe I fell for this bs and stayed in it so long..
People who havent lived in it don't get it. The power he's had over me... Is ridiculous.

That is the least of my worries yes. Ive been staying up late trying to find an affordable place for me and my kids. Aslong as he pays child support which I know he will, it will cover our rent and daycare for my kids and i will work my ass off for them.

Im not thinking right i know. I cried my eyes out earlier and am so tired right now. My head is killing me. I need sleep.

You need to go back to the women’s shelter. They have counselors who listen to the same story you are telling strangers about eight cases a day.

I’m going to tell you The truth which you are not going to like

You chose every bit of this and if you don’t stay in it till you are sick of being sick of it you will keep going back. It is a mental illness.

It would be fine if it was just you but you are dragging innocent kids with you. Your irresponsible behavior is wrecking their lives.

First of all stop lying. Just stop. When you lie all the time you lose who you are and you cannot ever make a good decision. Stop all your bad habits. Stop drinking. Stop smoking. Stop any drugs. Stop sleeping with guys you are not married to. Stop sleeping with idiots. And go get yourself fixed so you cannot reproduce. You can’t handje your own decisions much less make decisions for babies.

Go back to the shelter. Get psychological help. If you need to put your kids in foster care or have a relative watch them until you can make a good decision do
It.

Consider putting your child up for adoption to a stable family which you absolutely cannot provide at this point.

It is not your ex s fault. It is not your parents fault. You are a grown woman. A parent. You need to grow the hell up.

If you keep your kids somehow and you probably won’t then get a job.

You won’t take this advice. You will continue on your psychotic chaotic road. You are hurting innocent kids. Stop it.

You are insane..... I do not drink... I do not do any drugs (accept coffee) and i havent slept with another man since ive been with my husband. I've been 110% loyal to him while he cheated on me.... You have no idea.... I already have a job in progrwas.. You don't know the full story. I have no reason to lie. Im home 24/7 and no social media i have no time for other men or want. My kids are my worry.

WOW! UNBELIEVABLE WHAT IS HAPPENING HERE IN RESPONSE TO THIS POST. SUCH A HIGH PERCENTAGE OF PEOPLE THAT COULD NOT EVEN READ THE WHOLE TEXT, YET ARE OFFERING ADVICE. I'M SORRY OP, FORGIVE THEM THEY DON'T KNOW WHAT THEY DO AND DON'T CARE. I HAVE PRAYED FOR YOU. I HOPE YOU FIND THE LORD'S HELP IN THIS. GOD BLESS AND DON'T GIVE UP. HE LOVES YOU AND WANTS TO HELP.

Damn, what did you get married to?

Asking for science reasons.

YOU NEVER PUT YOUR CHILD UP FOR ADOPTION OR ABANDON THEM, IT TURNS OUT PSYCHOPATHS AND THEY KNOW IT IN ALL THE STUDIES. YOU NEVER GIVE UP ON YOUR CHILDREN NO MATTER WHAT!

WHAT YOU WROTE WAS EVIL.

NOT THE CO-DEPENDENCY PART, SHE NEEDS HELP AND COUNSELING, BUT THE STUFF ABOUT THE KIDS.

OP:

1. You should not have to deal with him or his abusive family so get to women's shelter with the kids and get counseling and ask for an advocate and get legal aid, and get restraining orders on the works of them.

2. If you're challening and fighting back, it often gets worse, more violence showing up could occur, try to plan out a remedy and alt escape route for all of you.

3. I would probably take the kids out of that house.

Too much drama at the shelter, didn't like what the preacher said, blah blah blah. It sounds like you are incompetent mentally.
If someone abuses you and you lie to cover it up then secretly you like it. May as well ask him to take you back, because until you change your way of thinking you're nothing more than doormat for any woman beater who wants to stick a baby in your stinky snatch.

Internet will make things worse...its literally Satan

What turns out psychopaths is people who raise kids in violent households and get pregnant by a guy who is beating you up.

Sure my advice sounds harsh.

But if you are nice to a woman who is with an abuser she will go back. Many times.

It’s not prayer.

It’s taking responsibility for your life and being accountable.

You think praying for this person is going to change her?

It ain’t happening. Someone has to tell her the cold hard facts.

And if you think leaving a child or children with a woman who allows abuse in her home for any reason is a good idea you are just as lost and nuts as she is.

The only chance these already damaged kids have is a stable environment.

If she cannot be 100 percent sure there is no abuse then she needs to find a place that can insure that.

The Great Oz has spoken.

Literally Hitler.

I've been there, not the whole family abusing the kids, and now after all these years, they can occasionally keep in touch from the other side.

My ex, had a hard childhood and I knew him in spirit when we met and thanked God to have found him, only to have gone through living hell. Doctor Jeckyl/Mr. Hide, throwing me pregnant against broken chairs, and cupboards and walls and dragged and thrown in a gravel pit, and strangled.

Had counseling, had advocacy. This was crucial, he was trying to custody as well even after he was being charged with his friend for the gravel pit experience. That was his friend who had just been released from prison and was on probation, a man who told his work team at Whistler that he was burning buildings, that they were his work, and told my best friend, his girlfriend that he was going to burn down a house, he was leaving in the night with gasoline, and that house my friend new was a grandmother, a daughter and new born baby.

But apparently that house owed him 200 dollars and he was going to kill them all and she stopped him.

They broke up and then he tried to take her battery in her car, which she stopped, I was visiting, and the old roommate who stayed in the shed, nearly elderly then, went out rescue her, and got the beating of his life, while I was on the phone with 9/11, giving a direct account of it word for word.

So he went to jail. And then he came out and was with my ex on my property and I went out to bounce them.

Social Services don't like you doing that, but I knew he couldn't get to the house and could have burnt our house or done something terrible, and I wanted the danger away.

Got attacked and thrown in a pit.



Then there was my ex's court case, and he was using this guy as his witness.

And he wanted custody.

My kids were in counseling children who had witnessed violence and I had support. And witnesses to some of it.

And then his friend went and had another petite native girl friend, with kids. Who were scared of him. He was beating her and knocking her teeth out and a good semaritan came to the door and asked if she could help and the woman yelled 9/11. So she picked up the phone and he whipped the phone off the wall and broke her jaw with it and then threw her over the balcony and broke her hip or leg.

And then left and the police arrested the 5 2" woman even though her teenage daughter confirmed it and it wasn't until the old woman could mutter something in the hospital, No, it was the Big Man.

The police are nuts!

And, here is the thing:

1. Why was he just allowed to be a witness, when he was right out on parole and I was the star witness that would have sent him to prison if he had not confessed, surely he wasn't allowed on my property or anyone connected to the case.

2. When this happened, he was on parole, he was a highly wanted man, but was planning on just showing up at court and they would have let him.

3. VICTIMS ASSISTANCE, this is an amazing support system and they show up in court.

She told me that when that man arrived in town, the police had given every organization a bible about him. That guy was a really bad guy.

She told me that it was legal to protect your property.

Apparently the police will not report a crime to the parole officer, a citizen has to, so Victim's Assitance phoned the police office to confirm, and then his parole office and DESPITE THAT THEY STILL WOULD HAVE DONE NOTHING. NO ARREST AND HE SHOWED UP AT COURT.

So my Victims Assistance said, is that him? She got the sheriff, he was manacled, and he testified making everyone terrified.

My ex got jail, but only weekends for a while, his friend prison for a while and they wanted to make him not come out, a dangerous offender, can't remember the term.

Yup, was a whole lifetime ago, and yet, after the fur settled, my son loved his dad, and when his dad was normal, in healing mode, he was the most loving, but alchohol I guess, and so I arranged supervised visits and he is able to keep in touch and would defend his kids with his life.

I know, that we dive deep into the trenches, and do soul rescues, that my ex was a lost soul who we were meant to save.

And he will be, even though we live all apart. Because he'll move the universe and the heavens to improve for his kids in the end, he does have love in him, just a lot of weakness and did most of his stuff around real bad guys that he befriended.

Get Victims Assistance adn Counseling and make certain his abuse and their abuse is well documented. Even by your words and your need for ongoing counseling.

Last Edited by Sungaze_At_Dawn on 06/11/2019 09:16 PM

She's out of it! Get that! Lots of us go through that! Very common. Now they need Legal, Victims Assistance, Counseling AND A MOVE.