OP, I know a person who lives in Spain and claims that he has been in contact with “aliens” since his teen years. Although the experience has never been traumatic (his own assessment) he struggles up to this day with his own disbelief of what has been happening to him and would rather have never experienced it. He wrote an anonymous book and released it for free in the web as a way of closure, a couple of decades ago, and that allowed him to continue to live in peace (even if the contact never really stopped). Perhaps this would work for you also?