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anyone have multi year estrangement from sibling? need advice

 
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 77723469
United States
06/12/2019 05:34 AM
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anyone have multi year estrangement from sibling? need advice
brother betrayed me in business last month and I cussed him out and plan to estrange from him.

any of you done this with your siblings, for years even? for life?

it already weighs on me heavily and wondering if its bad for the soul and do you regret it?
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 77538993
United States
06/12/2019 05:42 AM
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Re: anyone have multi year estrangement from sibling? need advice
Maybe just give him some space.

For a long time.

But do not estrange the guy. I know a guy that went that route and it really hurt some of the other family members.
wupy

User ID: 41363484
United States
06/12/2019 06:15 AM
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Re: anyone have multi year estrangement from sibling? need advice
I have estranged from my sister for years.....Then we buried the hatchet.

They are still your blood.

Doesn't mean you have to trust them again, but forgive and go on with it.

You need them, even when you think you don't.

You learned an important lesson.

Get over it.
Billy Joe McCallister was pushed!
Mixima
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United States
06/12/2019 06:16 AM
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Re: anyone have multi year estrangement from sibling? need advice
Choose your family
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 76714166
United States
06/12/2019 06:39 AM
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Re: anyone have multi year estrangement from sibling? need advice
6 years and counting? Best decision I ever made, wish I had done it sooner! I have more peace and joy with way less tension and upset!
Burnt around the edges

User ID: 76730417
United States
06/12/2019 06:40 AM
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Re: anyone have multi year estrangement from sibling? need advice
The first time I broke ties with my sister is when I was 18 and she was Pregnant at 13. My Parents needed my room for the babies room,( they were going to raise it, mistake #1). and my Dad gave me 30 days to move out.
Not 31 days 30.
I was lucky to be employed full time in Retail and told my Boss in my FT retail job my predicament, and he promoted me to an Assistant Manager's position that required re location to a city 5 hours away.
My sister used to pinch herself and fall down the stairs at home, run to my Dad and tell him I did it. After 10 years of this behaviour, the neighbour lady told my dad about her antics. I never got an apology from him and my Mother told me about it after he died of Cancer. I was never given a full apology, but what the hell. Life goes on.
My sister finally found someone dumb enough to marry her at 18, and at her wedding reception, she went behind my back telling my Dad that I was calling him weak and stupid for his support of her marriage.
I found out from my cousin and confronted her and my Father about it and I did get a sort of, "sorry son" out of it.
After my Father died I waited until my Mother's dementia got worse so after paying for a retirement village for six years, 70 % of the cost out of my pocket. I moved my Mother across Country and into my house,( That I re modelled for her accommodation with my own money), and my Mother lived with my wife and I for 9 years.
I had noticed that during the 9 years, I got no help from anybody in helping with my Mother's care. ( My sister wrote me a $200 check that bounced), and all our Relatives were not calling any more to speak to me about my Mother, or for anything else.
Come to find out,(from my same cousin that committed suicide by cop), years later. My sister was relaying tales of abuse from my wife and I that were out and out lies, because of her jealousy about my Mom living with me and not her.
I cut off all ties after my sister called me crying about her Daughter,( she had 3 Miscarriages), who was on the run from the F.B.I. I received calls from the Bureau for 4 years about her where abouts, and again found out my Sister had received a letter in which my Niece had told her that I sexually abused her and forced her to write bad checks.
Of course The F.B.I traced all mail that my sister had gotten for 4 years and a letter supposedly from my niece, in Las Vegas, her daughter, was a complete lie.
The F.B.I. found no letter, after tracing all letters, telegrams, Western Union, etc... from anyone even resembling any territory in or out of the United States,( my sister said she destroyed the letter in order to protect me).After 4 years of questioning my niece was busted in a Meth Raid and all the truth did come out.
This was 9 years ago. My sister has made several attempts to contact me and I will not resume any correspondence with her and never will. My Mother died 3 years ago, and all kinds of nasty rumours began circulating about me from you know who. I ignore them and her.
My life has almost returned to normal and I couldn't be happier and my wife and I have enjoyed 9 years of peace and quiet, I will never talk to my sister again.
If you side with my sister on this, may God help you. I don't want or need this kind of person around me, ever.
Jesus Christ protects those who Pray to him and genuinely need the Saints help.
Thank you God for my Faith and Intervention.
Michael S
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 76790243
United States
06/12/2019 06:57 AM
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Re: anyone have multi year estrangement from sibling? need advice
wow sounds like she is a psychopath

my story is I started a business with my brother, my idea, then he cut me out and gave me nothing. gaslights and lies about it. wont give a penny while hes making it big.

probably crossed a line in my messages to him but he deserved it.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 67653786
United States
06/12/2019 07:03 AM
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Re: anyone have multi year estrangement from sibling? need advice
brother betrayed me in business last month and I cussed him out and plan to estrange from him.

any of you done this with your siblings, for years even? for life?

it already weighs on me heavily and wondering if its bad for the soul and do you regret it?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 77723469


when you understand that absolutely no one can screw you like a family member,it's a no brainer and very easy.
would you continue in a friendship w/someone that deliberately did that ?
think.
your own brother did this.

no one can decide for you and in no way i am alone cutting loose untrustworthy family members that falsified legal papers,signatures,committed fraud and made out like bandits at my expense.
Serepta Ann

User ID: 77703417
United States
06/12/2019 07:19 AM

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Re: anyone have multi year estrangement from sibling? need advice
Older sister, several years...it makes it hard at any kind of family thing (some you just have to give up and not go to), funerals you just have to bite your tongue and be "nice". You can't let toxic people stay in your life or they will destroy you
You have to train your mind to be stronger than your emotions or you will lose yourself every time
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 76623652
United States
06/12/2019 07:24 AM
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Re: anyone have multi year estrangement from sibling? need advice
I have been estranged from my brother a few years. He started texting, wanting back into my life, but his toxic behavior made me sick, and triggered my PTSD again. I started having nightmares and such again.

I felt angry constantly. I decided to cut him off again, and after a few months, now I am beginning to feel better.

Estrangement is sickening for the soul, usually because you wanted the good and love of a sibling; but not all siblings are filled with good and love, ya know? I do think God allows for us to leave our abusers.

I try to be estranged without anger, I work on forgiveness- but forgiveness does not mean a free pass to abuse me, so I will do it from afar.

I dont know about you, but I had to cut off alot of people in order to make the estrangement complete in the fact that my mental health would stop suffering.

hf
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 77684922
United States
06/12/2019 07:29 AM
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Re: anyone have multi year estrangement from sibling? need advice
yup, i couldnt WAIT to grow up so i could move away from those people...
i have very VERY little to do with any of them.
i can breathe now.
beeches

User ID: 77354011
United States
06/12/2019 07:30 AM

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Re: anyone have multi year estrangement from sibling? need advice
Older sister, several years...it makes it hard at any kind of family thing (some you just have to give up and not go to), funerals you just have to bite your tongue and be "nice". You can't let toxic people stay in your life or they will destroy you
 Quoting: Serepta Ann


yes, it is a matter of doing what protects you and yours.

that is paramount
Liberalism is totalitarianism with a human face – Thomas Sowell
MissCleo

User ID: 77082640
United States
06/12/2019 07:32 AM

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Re: anyone have multi year estrangement from sibling? need advice
The first time I broke ties with my sister is when I was 18 and she was Pregnant at 13. My Parents needed my room for the babies room,( they were going to raise it, mistake #1). and my Dad gave me 30 days to move out.
Not 31 days 30.
I was lucky to be employed full time in Retail and told my Boss in my FT retail job my predicament, and he promoted me to an Assistant Manager's position that required re location to a city 5 hours away.
My sister used to pinch herself and fall down the stairs at home, run to my Dad and tell him I did it. After 10 years of this behaviour, the neighbour lady told my dad about her antics. I never got an apology from him and my Mother told me about it after he died of Cancer. I was never given a full apology, but what the hell. Life goes on.
My sister finally found someone dumb enough to marry her at 18, and at her wedding reception, she went behind my back telling my Dad that I was calling him weak and stupid for his support of her marriage.
I found out from my cousin and confronted her and my Father about it and I did get a sort of, "sorry son" out of it.
After my Father died I waited until my Mother's dementia got worse so after paying for a retirement village for six years, 70 % of the cost out of my pocket. I moved my Mother across Country and into my house,( That I re modelled for her accommodation with my own money), and my Mother lived with my wife and I for 9 years.
I had noticed that during the 9 years, I got no help from anybody in helping with my Mother's care. ( My sister wrote me a $200 check that bounced), and all our Relatives were not calling any more to speak to me about my Mother, or for anything else.
Come to find out,(from my same cousin that committed suicide by cop), years later. My sister was relaying tales of abuse from my wife and I that were out and out lies, because of her jealousy about my Mom living with me and not her.
I cut off all ties after my sister called me crying about her Daughter,( she had 3 Miscarriages), who was on the run from the F.B.I. I received calls from the Bureau for 4 years about her where abouts, and again found out my Sister had received a letter in which my Niece had told her that I sexually abused her and forced her to write bad checks.
Of course The F.B.I traced all mail that my sister had gotten for 4 years and a letter supposedly from my niece, in Las Vegas, her daughter, was a complete lie.
The F.B.I. found no letter, after tracing all letters, telegrams, Western Union, etc... from anyone even resembling any territory in or out of the United States,( my sister said she destroyed the letter in order to protect me).After 4 years of questioning my niece was busted in a Meth Raid and all the truth did come out.
This was 9 years ago. My sister has made several attempts to contact me and I will not resume any correspondence with her and never will. My Mother died 3 years ago, and all kinds of nasty rumours began circulating about me from you know who. I ignore them and her.
My life has almost returned to normal and I couldn't be happier and my wife and I have enjoyed 9 years of peace and quiet, I will never talk to my sister again.
If you side with my sister on this, may God help you. I don't want or need this kind of person around me, ever.
Jesus Christ protects those who Pray to him and genuinely need the Saints help.
Thank you God for my Faith and Intervention.
 Quoting: Burnt around the edges


Thank you for sharing.
Yes, it's ok to remove toxic people from your life.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 77202060
United States
06/12/2019 08:23 AM
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Re: anyone have multi year estrangement from sibling? need advice
haven't talked to a lot of family honestly, but it's not for liek i hate them or anything like that i have love for them, but it's probably because i refuse to use that right wing website facebook
Mollzyie

User ID: 72212503
United States
06/12/2019 08:37 AM
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Re: anyone have multi year estrangement from sibling? need advice
The first time I broke ties with my sister is when I was 18 and she was Pregnant at 13. My Parents needed my room for the babies room,( they were going to raise it, mistake #1). and my Dad gave me 30 days to move out.
Not 31 days 30.
I was lucky to be employed full time in Retail and told my Boss in my FT retail job my predicament, and he promoted me to an Assistant Manager's position that required re location to a city 5 hours away.
My sister used to pinch herself and fall down the stairs at home, run to my Dad and tell him I did it. After 10 years of this behaviour, the neighbour lady told my dad about her antics. I never got an apology from him and my Mother told me about it after he died of Cancer. I was never given a full apology, but what the hell. Life goes on.
My sister finally found someone dumb enough to marry her at 18, and at her wedding reception, she went behind my back telling my Dad that I was calling him weak and stupid for his support of her marriage.
I found out from my cousin and confronted her and my Father about it and I did get a sort of, "sorry son" out of it.
After my Father died I waited until my Mother's dementia got worse so after paying for a retirement village for six years, 70 % of the cost out of my pocket. I moved my Mother across Country and into my house,( That I re modelled for her accommodation with my own money), and my Mother lived with my wife and I for 9 years.
I had noticed that during the 9 years, I got no help from anybody in helping with my Mother's care. ( My sister wrote me a $200 check that bounced), and all our Relatives were not calling any more to speak to me about my Mother, or for anything else.
Come to find out,(from my same cousin that committed suicide by cop), years later. My sister was relaying tales of abuse from my wife and I that were out and out lies, because of her jealousy about my Mom living with me and not her.
I cut off all ties after my sister called me crying about her Daughter,( she had 3 Miscarriages), who was on the run from the F.B.I. I received calls from the Bureau for 4 years about her where abouts, and again found out my Sister had received a letter in which my Niece had told her that I sexually abused her and forced her to write bad checks.
Of course The F.B.I traced all mail that my sister had gotten for 4 years and a letter supposedly from my niece, in Las Vegas, her daughter, was a complete lie.
The F.B.I. found no letter, after tracing all letters, telegrams, Western Union, etc... from anyone even resembling any territory in or out of the United States,( my sister said she destroyed the letter in order to protect me).After 4 years of questioning my niece was busted in a Meth Raid and all the truth did come out.
This was 9 years ago. My sister has made several attempts to contact me and I will not resume any correspondence with her and never will. My Mother died 3 years ago, and all kinds of nasty rumours began circulating about me from you know who. I ignore them and her.
My life has almost returned to normal and I couldn't be happier and my wife and I have enjoyed 9 years of peace and quiet, I will never talk to my sister again.
If you side with my sister on this, may God help you. I don't want or need this kind of person around me, ever.
Jesus Christ protects those who Pray to him and genuinely need the Saints help.
Thank you God for my Faith and Intervention.
 Quoting: Burnt around the edges




Holy crap interesting story bro ... cool boss u had in retail . U still keep in contact w that person ?


Toxic people must go away . Friends as well esp the libs .
Deplorable Mary

User ID: 74406312
United States
06/12/2019 08:39 AM

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Re: anyone have multi year estrangement from sibling? need advice
I've been estranged from mine for six or seven years. Thankfully we live nowhere near each other so no running into each other.
I got tired of her lying, screwing people over, causing unnecessary drama, and the list goes on.
Guess what? I don't miss any of that or her. Sounds cruel, but I'm a much happier person. I always tried to keep my distance but she always managed to get me involved somehow. Also, her kids have very little to do with her.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 76946232
United States
06/12/2019 08:50 AM
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Re: anyone have multi year estrangement from sibling? need advice
I wish these things did not happen but they do. The Bible says to forgive but when siblings create deep pain and steal from each other it makes forgiving difficult is not impossible.

Some people have zero value of their family

It makes me sad.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 9389436
United States
06/12/2019 09:01 AM
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Re: anyone have multi year estrangement from sibling? need advice
Don't do it. Show him you are upset but don't stop communicating. Be patient. Give him a chance to be better, he's your brother.
Yes... I lost my little brother and my big brother because of stupid pride and ego on all our parts. When the shtf, its going to hurt more than anything not knowing. We were all best friends growing up. Not knowing is worse than anything.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 9389436
United States
06/12/2019 09:10 AM
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Re: anyone have multi year estrangement from sibling? need advice
Don't do it. Show him you are upset but don't stop communicating. Be patient. Give him a chance to be better, he's your brother.
Yes... I lost my little brother and my big brother because of stupid pride and ego on all our parts. When the shtf, its going to hurt more than anything not knowing. We were all best friends growing up. Not knowing is worse than anything.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 9389436


By the way... Material things? I would gladly give all of my things to a stranger if I could hang out with my brothers again...and just be happy they are there with me. Fuck money.
Pees and Ques

User ID: 77699795
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06/12/2019 09:23 AM

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Re: anyone have multi year estrangement from sibling? need advice
I am estranged from both my brother and sister. It has brought me much peace except that I miss my special needs niece that my brother and his wife adopted late in life.

The 3 of us fought like cats and dogs growing up. Both of them are very controlling. I was the baby and the runt. Now that my parents are gone we are no longer a family. It is sad but I am happier. I have friends who care a lot more about me than either of them.





GLP