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A Freemason Told me to Buy a Toaster!

 
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 72568602
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06/15/2019 08:34 PM
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A Freemason Told me to Buy a Toaster!
My girlfriends father is a high ranking freemason (at least Prince of Banana Cheeks - 29nd degree)
Last night at a meal we had private drinks and later and he told me to buy a toaster for me and his daughter! And to stock at least 6 months of bread and jam!! I asked why and he replied "Have you noticed the global weather this year already?"
I replied "yes it seems very strange so far this year".

He then said "Well things happen in cycles, And this year the strawberry jam and bread crops will fail."
"Was noah jelly?"

5a
Anonymous Coward
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06/15/2019 08:35 PM
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Re: A Freemason Told me to Buy a Toaster!
Did he touch his face a lot?
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 75930028
Sweden
06/15/2019 08:37 PM
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Re: A Freemason Told me to Buy a Toaster!
Probably to use in the boat.

As a general rule, don't take advice from freemasons.

Unless you want to join the obviously new toaster zombie army to go along with the tide pid one.

putin I fucking swear, this is retarded.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 75930028
Sweden
06/15/2019 08:37 PM
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Re: A Freemason Told me to Buy a Toaster!
Probably to use in the boat.

As a general rule, don't take advice from freemasons.

Unless you want to join the obviously new toaster zombie army to go along with the tide pod one.

putin I fucking swear, this is retarded.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 75930028
Anonymous Coward (OP)
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06/15/2019 08:38 PM
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Re: A Freemason Told me to Buy a Toaster!
Did he touch his face a lot?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 77477883


Zakk has a daughter???

sockpuppet
Indianapolis Mayor
User ID: 77169409
United States
06/15/2019 08:38 PM
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Re: A Freemason Told me to Buy a Toaster!
I think he has lots of stock in Toaster companies.
Don't trust a mason.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 75213815
United States
06/15/2019 08:39 PM
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Re: A Freemason Told me to Buy a Toaster!
Funny funny but have you been over to Vigilant Citizen's website - all fun and games and aprons and checkerboard floors aside -

start reading over there - soon

they is long time been planing a culling-
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 77477883
06/15/2019 08:39 PM
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Re: A Freemason Told me to Buy a Toaster!
Did he touch his face a lot?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 77477883


Zakk has a daughter???

sockpuppet
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 72568602


cruisecruisecruisecruise
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 77217123
United States
06/15/2019 08:46 PM
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Re: A Freemason Told me to Buy a Toaster!
Masons have been gheigh ever since ALbert Pike introduced butt plugs into the York Rite

No straight man has any business there
Fractals

User ID: 77675414
United Kingdom
06/15/2019 08:48 PM

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Re: A Freemason Told me to Buy a Toaster!
I left a step ladder at a mason lodge after repairing the alarm. They never called to return it.......
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 74051573
Canada
06/15/2019 08:48 PM
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Re: A Freemason Told me to Buy a Toaster!
My girlfriends father is a high ranking freemason (at least Prince of Banana Cheeks - 29nd degree)
Last night at a meal we had private drinks and later and he told me to buy a toaster for me and his daughter! And to stock at least 6 months of bread and jam!! I asked why and he replied "Have you noticed the global weather this year already?"
I replied "yes it seems very strange so far this year".

He then said "Well things happen in cycles, And this year the strawberry jam and bread crops will fail."
"Was noah jelly?"

5a
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 72568602


Thread: KOSHER TAX -- A Secret Tax on Your Food -- How Zionists AIPAC & the ADL steal from the world

Make sure it's a kosher toaster.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 77406900
Canada
06/15/2019 08:50 PM
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Re: A Freemason Told me to Buy a Toaster!
Yah...stock up on bread!!! Not flour
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 72568602
United States
06/15/2019 08:50 PM
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Re: A Freemason Told me to Buy a Toaster!
Funny funny but have you been over to Vigilant Citizen's website - all fun and games and aprons and checkerboard floors aside -

start reading over there - soon

they is long time been planing a culling-
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 75213815


Not a fan of fear porn. God is control. Whenever the shitstorm blows in, I'm in His hands.

I do, however, need a toaster.

banana2
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 75930028
Sweden
06/15/2019 08:51 PM
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Re: A Freemason Told me to Buy a Toaster!
A kosher toaster?

laugh


The bath tub will know the difference, good thinking. thumbs
Sally Strummons
User ID: 77169409
United States
06/15/2019 08:55 PM
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Re: A Freemason Told me to Buy a Toaster!
Several of the masonic rituals involve nichrome which they claim is the metal of satan. Nichrome is in all toasters. It's the metal that heats up to the temperature of hell.

Enjoy your toast in hell.
Anonymous Coward
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06/15/2019 08:55 PM
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Re: A Freemason Told me to Buy a Toaster!
5 stars thread
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 72568602
United States
06/15/2019 08:58 PM
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Re: A Freemason Told me to Buy a Toaster!
Several of the masonic rituals involve nichrome which they claim is the metal of satan. Nichrome is in all toasters. It's the metal that heats up to the temperature of hell.

Enjoy your toast in hell.
 Quoting: Sally Strummons 77169409


Who told you that?

Idol1
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 77217123
United States
06/15/2019 08:59 PM
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Re: A Freemason Told me to Buy a Toaster!
I am a former 78th degree Wizard Mason of the O.T.O. Wizard Rite.

Albert Pike was a male prostitute, and all upper eschelon Freemasons are male prostitutes as well. Morally and physically.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 75213815
United States
06/15/2019 09:07 PM
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Re: A Freemason Told me to Buy a Toaster!
Funny funny but have you been over to Vigilant Citizen's website - all fun and games and aprons and checkerboard floors aside -

start reading over there - soon

they is long time been planing a culling-
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 75213815


Not a fan of fear porn. God is control. Whenever the shitstorm blows in, I'm in His hands.

I do, however, need a toaster.

banana2
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 72568602


The Lord Jesus Christ commands us to be as wise as serpents -

Vigilant Citizen is not fear porn -- but you know that already - right.
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 72568602
United States
06/15/2019 09:13 PM
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Re: A Freemason Told me to Buy a Toaster!
Funny funny but have you been over to Vigilant Citizen's website - all fun and games and aprons and checkerboard floors aside -

start reading over there - soon

they is long time been planing a culling-
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 75213815


Not a fan of fear porn. God is control. Whenever the shitstorm blows in, I'm in His hands.

I do, however, need a toaster.

banana2
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 72568602


The Lord Jesus Christ commands us to be as wise as serpents -

Vigilant Citizen is not fear porn -- but you know that already - right.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 75213815


LoL! You outta line, padnah. I know what He commands. And that's between He and I.

When Peter saw him, he asked, “Lord, what about him?” Jesus answered, “If I want him to remain until I return, what is that to you? You follow Me!”
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 72568602
United States
06/15/2019 09:14 PM
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Re: A Freemason Told me to Buy a Toaster!
I am a former 78th degree Wizard Mason of the O.T.O. Wizard Rite.

Albert Pike was a male prostitute, and all upper eschelon Freemasons are male prostitutes as well. Morally and physically.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 77217123


Wow. They're screwed.

afro