I am both very touched and saddened by the comments that have been made on this thread since I left this morning.

I have decided to share my whole life's story in hopes that people will realize I'm not a moocher.

It is hard to share such intimate details but I would rather you know the full truth about me than not.

I was born the oldest of 4 siblings in 1960. We weren't well off but we were happy. My mom worked full time and my dad worked two jobs to support us.

Each of us excelled in our grades because that was expected of us. We attended church each week.

In 1972 at the age of 39 my mother suddenly died of a cerebral hemorrhage and our whole life changed. My father couldn't handle 4 children ranging from 13 to 6 and began a spiral downward that resulted in his attempted suicide in front of us one weekend.

My mother's only brother (my Uncle John) and his wife took it upon themselves to raise us as their own even though they had a toddler and baby of their own.

By the age of 12 and certainly by 16 we were all working nearly full time in addition to getting good grades at school.

I played violin which eventually got me a scholarship to attend Oklahoma University.

After college I began a career with Holiday Inn hotels in management and worked an average of 60 hour a week until 1990 when I attended a seminar in New Orleans and fell in love with a musician who played at a piano bar on Bourbam Street.

I took my savings and moved there and worked two jobs- one fron 3-11pm as a guest service manager at a hotel in the French Quarter and then serving drinks at a nightclub from midnight until 3 AM.

When my benefits kicked in a year later I began studying at the local college (tuition reimbursement) and obtained a 4.0 average in spite of working two jobs and trying to keep a new relationship happy.

Two years later my love decided he wanted to move to Key West, Florida (a place I knew nothing about) and I went happily because I adored that man and was willing to do anything for him. I was 30 at the time and hoped to marry and have children with him.

I found work immediately at the county courthouse but he could not find work as a musician.

I began working a 2nd job to support the home we had put our savings into.

This went on for 2 years.

His elderly mother from upstate New York came down to live with us and I loved her very much.

My days consisted of coming home after a 12 hour work day, making evening meals, and entertaining many of his friends who delighted in visiting Key West for "free" at our house.

I was exhausted, but I was still young and full of hope.

We invested all of our savings into a small bar in Key West and though it was quite successful it took it's toll on our relationship as business partnerships in that industry often do.

I took $10,000 and moved to Reno, Nevada (a place I'd never heard of) and began to work at two casinos- Atlantis 9-5 and Flamingo showroom from 6-midnight. My only day off was Sunday. This went on from 1996-2002.

Three weeks out of the month during those years he flew in from Florida because he began playing poker "professionally". This kept me in a position of not being able to move on with my life even though I had been seeing a man who adored me, was successful, and wanted to marry me.

I stayed loyal to my ex and his needs.

In 2002 I moved to Las Vegas via a transfer from the Flamingo and earned a good living working for visiting celebrities in the showroom.

I purchased a small home and my ex continued to visit each month. He was now constantly involved in the "World Series of Poker" tournaments.

I had pretty much given up on moving ahead in relationships and just kept working. I believe it was about 2005 I joined this forum, mainly for companionship and friendship since I was too dead tired to go out after coming home for the night.

In 2010 he came home, sat me down and told me that he had decided to get married. I was in total shock when I realized it wasn't to me.

I sank into a deep depression and didn't want to live any longer. Had it not been for Miggy, Manny and Mia Sophia (my 3 rescued Dachshunds) I wouldn't have gone on.

My family encouraged me to sell my hone and that was during the housing crash.

I had just enough to return to my hometown in Oklahoma. At their encouragement I immediately sought help at the local clinic and began a series of antidepressants. I was placed into low-assistance housing.

In 2016 my ex called and offered me a job that I felt I couldn't refuse. His new wife needed home care for her elderly mother- something he knew I was good at because of my care for his mother.

I was offered a free apartment with the mother, a salary of $500 a week, free storage for what little I had left after my move from Las Vegas, etc.

It was the best offer I had had in 6 years and it came from a man I loved and trusted so I took it.

I sold everything I had and went down there.

After 6 weeks of living in the guest room of the house of my ex and his wife the constant screaming upstairs was relentless. "I want her GONE!" I want her out of here TOMORROW!"

Miggy and I used to just hide under the covers of our bed downstairs when this started up. I began to drink- a LOT.

When I left there was no UHaul available to haul back the things I had brought down so I took a 2002 Ford Taurus that I had towed down with me, packed it to the brim with what I could think were the most valuable items I had and drove back to Oklahoma with Miggy.

After sleeping in my car for a couple of weeks I sadly placed Miggy in a foster home and checked myself into alcohol rehab- not just because I had been drinking alot the past 2 months but because I had no home.

I completed treatment, rented a room off Craigslist for a year while it took my employer time to deem me suitable for full-time employment, then moved into this apartment a year ago, reuniting with 18-year old Miggy.

It's not in a good area and it's not the way I was used to living for two decades but it is mine. Or has been until now.

I used to have pride and self-esteem. I have lost most of that. And still it is very humbling for me to ask for help because I am the one people always came to for help and never once did I turn anyone away.

So in closing, I am sorry if any of you have found me to be offensive and Chip, you're right- I could probably go out tonight like some crack whore and make some money that way.

But I continue to be optimistic that I'll get back on my feet- even this much time later, and get back to being able to contribute to others.

Did I enjoy sharing this painful story? Hell, no. But maybe it will stop some of the hateful comments.

To all of those who have been so gracious to me I can't thank you enough for supporting me.

With love, Miggy