does anyone know the way to TV land as foretold in the lores of the ancients ?

the title is a pisstake of conspiracy theory and not this simple mistep into the wrong context

Yea verily, I say unto thee,

"Thy journey to TV land beginneth with the first step on the road. The first step is to take thy wife and child on thy donkey to the cave of wonders, which holdeth the treasures of the land of TV.

There thou shalt bargain with the keeper of the receptacle of the price that thou must pay.

Then thou shalt return to thy home with one of the treasures of TV land, and there, thou shalt plug the treasure into the glorious socket that contains the power of the heavens. Thou shalt also plug in arm which reacheth to the sky and appeals to the sky to send a sign, which be known as The TV Signal.

Thou shalt switch on the treasyre fromt he land of TV.

After all this toil and effort that thou hast been put through, thou shalt sit on thy couch and watch and listen to the visions that the heavens decide to send to thee, and thou shalt mark the images and words contained therein and be edified."

Here endeth the lesson.