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My wife showed up at my door

 
Crypto-Tard

User ID: 69359666
United States
07/21/2019 04:52 PM

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Re: My wife showed up at my door
Now is the time for compassion, but you'll have to be a hard ass to make sure she never goes back to that place.
When you are afraid of losing your life, you have already lost your life.

Don't be afraid.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 22584966
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07/21/2019 04:52 PM
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Re: My wife showed up at my door
Three years?!

Should have slammed the door in her face.
Anonymous Coward
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07/21/2019 04:53 PM
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Re: My wife showed up at my door
Reminds me of an episode of 'Shameless'. Frank, is it you?
Anonymous Coward
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07/21/2019 04:53 PM
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Re: My wife showed up at my door
Don't be a sucker.

She is looking for a place to crash and resources.

She will suck you dry - and not in the good way.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 75933094


This here.

You gave her a chance the first go. Don’t do it
nexuseditor

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Australia
07/21/2019 04:55 PM
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Re: My wife showed up at my door
Y'all been trolled, and triggered.

Again
Anonymous Coward
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07/21/2019 05:05 PM
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Re: My wife showed up at my door
She left almost three years ago. She showed up yesterday telling me that she is going to rehab, that she is a heroin addict and has been living a lie all these. Apologizing for all that she has done to our kids and me. I hugged her told her I never stopped praying for her and I will continue to pray for her. After all the pain she has caused and the rejection I went through I don’t know if I can take her back again.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 55182518


How many dicks did she suck?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 77301657


At least one a day, so somewhere over a thousand in three years. Remember that addicts need to dose 4 or 5 times a day and they go from bag to bag by any means necessary.

OP would have been happy with once a month.
Anonymous Coward
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07/21/2019 05:06 PM
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Re: My wife showed up at my door
Y'all been trolled, and triggered.

Again
 Quoting: nexuseditor


maybe but its a real thing too.
although most of the time the woman destroys the family before she takes off.
Anonymous Coward
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07/21/2019 05:07 PM
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Re: My wife showed up at my door
She left almost three years ago. She showed up yesterday telling me that she is going to rehab, that she is a heroin addict and has been living a lie all these. Apologizing for all that she has done to our kids and me. I hugged her told her I never stopped praying for her and I will continue to pray for her. After all the pain she has caused and the rejection I went through I don’t know if I can take her back again.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 55182518


Taking her back is the last thing you should do
Anonymous Coward
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07/21/2019 05:08 PM
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Re: My wife showed up at my door

Y'all been trolled, and triggered.

Again
 Quoting: nexuseditor


maybe but its a real thing too.
although most of the time the addict destroys the family before they take off but the female addict causes much more damage doing it and gets the court to help her do it harder and deeper.
ayr phorce yuan

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United Kingdom
07/21/2019 05:09 PM
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Re: My wife showed up at my door
She left almost three years ago. She showed up yesterday telling me that she is going to rehab, that she is a heroin addict and has been living a lie all these. Apologizing for all that she has done to our kids and me. I hugged her told her I never stopped praying for her and I will continue to pray for her. After all the pain she has caused and the rejection I went through I don’t know if I can take her back again.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 55182518


It’s a toughie OP.

Damage limitation is a double edged sword. Obviously you love her but I don’t know if you are ‘in love’ with her & you probably feel that if you ‘open the door’ the you would feel responsible for any future hurt to the family.

If you wish to ask me about ‘addiction’ in general then I can certainly advise lol, thankfully the dark days are long gone.

It is BRUTAL having gone through a break up & having the strength to move forward is commendable to say the least, so I understand your trepidation about making a decision.

I can’t advise you on your emotional situ obviously & would not profess to be able to do so, but know this, the fact that you have given it so much consideration is credit to you, & whatever choices you make you can rest assured any ‘fallout’ will not be through uncaring or rash decision making.

Good luck with it.
GLP alert level 2; "Go get a Hard Hat:.

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Anonymous Coward
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United States
07/21/2019 05:10 PM
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Re: My wife showed up at my door
She left almost three years ago. She showed up yesterday telling me that she is going to rehab, that she is a heroin addict and has been living a lie all these. Apologizing for all that she has done to our kids and me. I hugged her told her I never stopped praying for her and I will continue to pray for her. After all the pain she has caused and the rejection I went through I don’t know if I can take her back again.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 55182518


How many dicks did she suck?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 77301657


At least one a day, so somewhere over a thousand in three years. Remember that addicts need to dose 4 or 5 times a day and they go from bag to bag by any means necessary.

OP would have been happy with once a month.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 76626437


Yep. The minimum a heroin addict could get by on without substantial withdrawals would be about $30 - 40 dollars a day - or three $10 dollar balloons (bags)
CitizenPerth

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07/21/2019 05:10 PM
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Re: My wife showed up at my door
This is a sad thread regardless of the side you're on...
It's life as we know it, but only just.
[link to citizenperth.wordpress.com]
sic ut vos es vos should exsisto , denego alius vicis facio vos change , exsisto youself , proprie
MissCleo

User ID: 77082640
United States
07/21/2019 05:11 PM

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Re: My wife showed up at my door
Y'all been trolled, and triggered.

Again
 Quoting: nexuseditor


Always good to share information regarding to topic.
Lots of people reading under the same conditions.

Free information is a good thing.
Giving back to the community. Wisdom.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 77187148
United States
07/21/2019 05:11 PM
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Re: My wife showed up at my door
Not a script? That would be a first...
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 77840135
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07/21/2019 05:11 PM
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Re: My wife showed up at my door
There’s a vape e-cig and monster energy can around here somewhere
Off Switch

User ID: 53486994
United States
07/21/2019 05:12 PM
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Re: My wife showed up at my door
She's not supposed to be in a relationship the first year of her sobriety....since she has been gone from the family for so long.

If it's that you want to get back with her when she's well, then tell her one year sobriety, and then perhaps you'll consider reuniting.

Don't take her back on her word - she's an addict, and they lie - and set her free to save herself. She's the only one who can.
 Quoting: cosmicgypsy


Best advice on this thread....
Bad or missing keyboard. Press F1 to continue....
ayr phorce yuan

User ID: 77837224
United Kingdom
07/21/2019 05:12 PM
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Re: My wife showed up at my door
Y'all been trolled, and triggered.

Again
 Quoting: nexuseditor


Always good to share information regarding to topic.
Lots of people reading under the same conditions.

Free information is a good thing.
Giving back to the community. Wisdom.
 Quoting: MissCleo


Well said. I never actually thought of it like that.
GLP alert level 2; "Go get a Hard Hat:.

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MissCleo

User ID: 77082640
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07/21/2019 05:14 PM

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Re: My wife showed up at my door
This is a sad thread regardless of the side you're on...
 Quoting: CitizenPerth


True.

And most of this issues start because of poor Maslow Hierarchy development as children.
We carry these deficiencies into adulthood without coping skills and turn toxic.

Maslows development is basic needs. Many (many) children are not getting basic needs covered, seems more as the population of the earth booms. We are breeding unhealthy children that grow into unhealthy adults.

Negative coping: addiction, fighting, bad habits, downward spiral.

Positive coping: therapy, communication, accomplishments, health.
ayr phorce yuan

User ID: 77837224
United Kingdom
07/21/2019 05:19 PM
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Re: My wife showed up at my door
This is a sad thread regardless of the side you're on...
 Quoting: CitizenPerth


Very true CP.

If only we could hear voices again like the good ‘ol’ chat days lol. I trust you’re well.
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Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 55182518
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07/21/2019 05:19 PM
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Re: My wife showed up at my door
I have read through all your comments. There s a lot of truth being said. I’m not dumb I know what women who are addicted to drugs do to get their next fix. It hurts to think that the mother of my children has been taken so low. I just pray she gets delivered and stays clean . I’m protecting my kids and my heart.
Anonymous Coward
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United States
07/21/2019 05:19 PM
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Re: My wife showed up at my door
She left almost three years ago. She showed up yesterday telling me that she is going to rehab, that she is a heroin addict and has been living a lie all these. Apologizing for all that she has done to our kids and me. I hugged her told her I never stopped praying for her and I will continue to pray for her. After all the pain she has caused and the rejection I went through I don’t know if I can take her back again.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 55182518


How many dicks did she suck?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 77301657


At least one a day, so somewhere over a thousand in three years. Remember that addicts need to dose 4 or 5 times a day and they go from bag to bag by any means necessary.

OP would have been happy with once a month.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 76626437


Yep. The minimum a heroin addict could get by on without substantial withdrawals would be about $30 - 40 dollars a day - or three $10 dollar balloons (bags)
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 75933094


Most of you have no idea how much of the sexwork trade is based on servicing drug addictions.
If youre buying sex your buying drugs.

Pretty much everyone working the sex trad is an addict, most of it to drugs, some to other vices but most all of it especially at street level is all drugs or sex trafficing which usually is transformed into drug addiction.
Who thinks normal women want to suck off strange, abusive, anonymous unwashed dicks day in and day out for the rest of their addicted life when they refuse it for those they supposedly 'love'?
CitizenPerth

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Australia
07/21/2019 05:19 PM
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Re: My wife showed up at my door
This is a sad thread regardless of the side you're on...
 Quoting: CitizenPerth


True.

And most of this issues start because of poor Maslow Hierarchy development as children.
We carry these deficiencies into adulthood without coping skills and turn toxic.

Maslows development is basic needs. Many (many) children are not getting basic needs covered, seems more as the population of the earth booms. We are breeding unhealthy children that grow into unhealthy adults.

Negative coping: addiction, fighting, bad habits, downward spiral.

Positive coping: therapy, communication, accomplishments, health.
 Quoting: MissCleo


Agreed... Love you

But we survived ... ;)
It's life as we know it, but only just.
[link to citizenperth.wordpress.com]
sic ut vos es vos should exsisto , denego alius vicis facio vos change , exsisto youself , proprie
Fossy

User ID: 75602265
Canada
07/21/2019 05:21 PM
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Re: My wife showed up at my door
First of all, she must be able to stand on her own feet again. Otherwise, she will only use you and your gratitude.
 Quoting: Theodesus


Unfortunately this^^^ :(

I’m sorry you’re in this tough position. I will pray for ya.
Making sammiches great again!
Rosicrucian1
User ID: 77804393
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07/21/2019 05:21 PM
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Re: My wife showed up at my door
Maslow's needs hierarchy of needs... studied it extensively.

it is complete from top to bottom but does not integrate states of being with a process to achieve them.
Anonymous Coward
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07/21/2019 05:23 PM
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Re: My wife showed up at my door
She left almost three years ago. She showed up yesterday telling me that she is going to rehab, that she is a heroin addict and has been living a lie all these. Apologizing for all that she has done to our kids and me. I hugged her told her I never stopped praying for her and I will continue to pray for her. After all the pain she has caused and the rejection I went through I don’t know if I can take her back again.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 55182518


Do not take her back right now. She's still an addict. She needs to prove herself by going to an extensive rehab and staying sober for at least a year before she moves back in with you and the kids.

Also, since you dont know where shes been all this time you MUST have her get tested for every STD and disease known to man before you even think of sleeping with her.

I was married to a man addicted to alcohol. They dont care about us they only care about the substance they are abusing.

Dont put yourself through that hurt again. You have no idea where she has been for three years and like another poster said she could just be turning to you right now because shes hit rock bottom and thinks she can come back and use you for money and a place to sleep. She could have hepatitis c from shooting up or worse Aids.

I divorced my alcoholic husband inn 2014, he was also a needle user. Three years later he died from his alcholism. but two months before he had been diagnosed with Hep C....so yea DONT sleep with her unless she gets tested for EVERYTHING

I hate to say this but all she cares about is the heroin right now. She admitted to you she was an addict. and dont waste your time trying to be involved in her life right now. Tell her love and support her but she must seek help on her own and do right by herself. she has to go get clean find a job and prove she can stay sober. in the meantime you must continue to live your life and focus on your children and yourself.

Otherwise you could end up wasting more of your time and your life when she relapses. Tell her to give you a call when shes finished with rehab and has been sober for year
Anonymous Coward
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07/21/2019 05:23 PM
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Re: My wife showed up at my door
if your not divorced yet, you owe it to her soul to try again, dont let her go to hell, maybe she can make right
 Quoting: Onedayoneway


Better she go to hell than for him to re-live it on this shithole rock.
ayr phorce yuan

User ID: 77837224
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07/21/2019 05:24 PM
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Re: My wife showed up at my door
I have read through all your comments. There s a lot of truth being said. I’m not dumb I know what women who are addicted to drugs do to get their next fix. It hurts to think that the mother of my children has been taken so low. I just pray she gets delivered and stays clean . I’m protecting my kids and my heart.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 55182518


Don’t blame you, hey, in a few years when your Wife is on a different path you never know. It could well be a match made in heaven.

Those who have (properly) come through the other side are extremely different & enlightened individuals. But........... her addiction is her bag as tough as that is. You obviously have seen enough to know all this.

An addict has to hit rock bottom & come back themselves, usually with nothing & nobody sadly. It’s hard down there though. Same old story I guess.

I wish you ‘both’ well.
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Anonymous Coward
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07/21/2019 05:24 PM
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Re: My wife showed up at my door
I have read through all your comments. There s a lot of truth being said. I’m not dumb I know what women who are addicted to drugs do to get their next fix. It hurts to think that the mother of my children has been taken so low. I just pray she gets delivered and stays clean . I’m protecting my kids and my heart.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 55182518


Sorry for your children bro. Stay strong and don't give in to your feelings and emotions.

yessir
Anonymous Coward
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United States
07/21/2019 05:25 PM
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Re: My wife showed up at my door
I have read through all your comments. There s a lot of truth being said. I’m not dumb I know what women who are addicted to drugs do to get their next fix. It hurts to think that the mother of my children has been taken so low. I just pray she gets delivered and stays clean . I’m protecting my kids and my heart.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 55182518


I feel for you, You are not the only one thats been through this.
A mother betraying her husband is almost routine nowadays, and theres no recourse, and to abandon children, thats literally an affront to god, or nature or whatever you want to believe in for yourself.
You have to be mother and father now and be glad that you didnt have a malignant court contribute to abuse of fathers children by an emotionally ill mother to the point of the children dying essentially by the courts blessing.
Stay strong.
There are good women out there, but its nearly impossible to tell anymore who they are.
Anonymous Coward
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07/21/2019 05:26 PM
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Re: My wife showed up at my door
Knock knock knocking on heavens door





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