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British decide to give names to sizzling heatwaves as the temperature soars to 32 celsius (90 freedom degrees)

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07/24/2019 09:24 PM
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British decide to give names to sizzling heatwaves as the temperature soars to 32 celsius (90 freedom degrees)
The mercury is rising, expected to hit a sizzling 32°C (89.6°F) this afternoon at Vulture Central, and The Register's elite unit of pasty basement-dwellers, otherwise known as editorial, have scurried into the office to make the most of its semi-functioning air conditioning.

Yes, Heatwave Clive is here. Or it would be, if the London School of Economics has anything to say about it.

The Times – opting for the marginally more exciting "Alan" – reports that the university's Grantham Research Institute on Climate Change and the Environment has urged the Met Office to start naming particularly hot spells, just like the national weather watchers do when it's a bit windy out.

Pointing to a government report from last year suggesting the UK wasn't equipped to deal with the health risks posed by the exact sort of weather Brits go on holiday for, the institute thundered: "The Met Office must do more to warn people about the dangers of heatwaves and should give names to heatwaves the way it does for winter storms."

The last to grace these shores was Storm Hannah over 26-27 April. But to the person on the street, giving each bout of shit weather a special name is baffling. Brits have been at peace with our inclement climate since, well... forever. And let's face it, none of these "storms" have quite the same life-threatening, property-destroying potential as, say, Hurricane Katrina, which battered Florida and Louisiana in 2005.

Speaking of Florida, where 22°C is considered cold, they're probably laughing at us (though that could equally be down to Boris Johnson's ascension to God Emperor). It's also forecast to be 32°C there this afternoon, standard for the time of year.

[link to www.theregister.co.uk (secure)]