I’ll begin. I have a life limiting illness and it doesn’t matter what it is. What matters is that it’s life limiting. I elected to receive in-home hospice care after receiving palliative care for a period of time. I wanted quality v. quantity of life.
The short answer is I have a quality of life at the moment that in spite of the challenges is fulfilling, peaceful and perhaps most importantly my dignity is intact. I am in control. I elected to stop any curative treatment and opted for symptom management that allows me access to my humanity as unfettered as possible.
I made this little placard for a bookcase in the room I will die in. I read it often. It comforts me.
This is what the in-home hospice agency put in that room the first day. It’s a bit more cluttered now.
How I want to be remembered is probably dependent upon on my feelings in that moment. I think I will be remembered by the impact my life has had upon others and this will be the true measure of my existence. There are regrets and indeed pain they will be my companions to the end and this is as it should be. These are natural consequences for life choices. You can make amends, but you can’t unring the bell.
Hopefully this gives some idea of what my intentions are with this thread. To join others in frank and candid conversations. But, as we know, once the first shot is fired all of the plans go to hell.