Folks I began this thread saying that I didn’t want it to be a “look at me” spectacle, but I fear I might be beginning to become that self-absorbed guy I loath. You’ve witnessed my awkward attempts and some of you may have even smiled at them. Yet you offered me kindness and caring.
Perhaps the lifeline that I/we may need/want is simply being heard and honoring our courage and humanity. Allow us to struggle. Allow that there are times when there are no answers. Allow the silence to rage at its sorrow. Allow me to be exactly where I’m at. Don’t try to fix me.
And finally I am often under the influence of meds and they do interfere with my emotional equilibrium. Ya know that’s how Ralph would have said that. This is what I would say. Sometimes I don’t understand what I’m feeling and the meds make it worse and when that happens it makes me mad and then it scares the hell out of me!
As Rodney Dangerfield said, “It's Not Easy Bein' Me”.
I’m going to continue posting because writing words seems to help me focus and that helps me. Thank you.
Quoting: Noslot Good Morning Noslot....
I will be honest from the front and say this Post is through the lense of a full red bodied wine ,,Italian Barolo no less.
Have popped in and out of this thread, dictated by real life work on my side and would have liked to contribute earlier....anyway....
I see like myself you are a bit of a GLP VET and that has my respect especially as you are facing mortality head on.... This takes a lot of courage, and as I said earlier you are and would be an example to many facing oblivion as you are.
A few things struck me as I read the many posts you have made.
Most of all you are congruent and genuine in the `message` and emotion you are posting across to us. I dont see as you have said "
look at me" being the `topic` of what this thread is about, but more about... This is my life and departure and I`m giving it as real as it is..... Very few people in my experience (and I have seen many departures) are able to be forthrite and open in their description of what is really happening and going on.
You said in your last post "It helps me focus, and thank you"
Well I thank you for helping ME to focus.... None of us know if we will be facing what you are currently facing.... But sure as eggs are eggs...some of us will.Dont let up on this thread in any way...and fuck... if you have a bad day,,, and IF you are able.... lets see the reality of what your pain is ..You have a family of GLP who will be here with you and your family.
*hugs to you..... hugs to your family and hugs to all your other support groups* I have a sneaky feeling they are proud of you.... CR
