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My killer coffee recipe...and what's yours?

 
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 78067621
Spain
10/09/2019 04:11 PM
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Re: My killer coffee recipe...and what's yours?
i just smoke a cigar
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 78042748
United States
10/09/2019 04:15 PM
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Re: My killer coffee recipe...and what's yours?
The elixir of life...coffee! Coffee is so vital that the beans are the #2 worldwide international commodity after oil.

This recipe is for 16 ounces of coffee.

Boil 14 ounces of water keeping 2 ounces of spring water in measuring cup.

2 tablespoons coffee grounds in measuring cup

Add boiling water to measuring cup.

Stir with bamboo shishkabob stick or wooden spoon, not metal or plastic. Focus on the swirling coffee and ask a couple times, "Why do I love discovering what's between me and loving kindness?" This allows you to turn your killer coffee into lover's coffee.

Use a 24-ounce porcelain or ceramic cup (no paper, plastic or styrofoam)

Add a large quartz crystal to your cup big enough that you won't accidentally swallow it.

Add the following to your cup:

Sprinkle stevia to taste (Sweet Leaf brand is the one I use.) Don't overuse pure stevia or your coffee can taste metallic. Sweet Leaf has inulin in it which prevents that from happening unless way to much is used.

5-6 shakes of ginger

2 cranks of black pepper

1-2 shakes of turmeric (the pepper and turmeric are to help with joints and memory not for taste)

smother turmeric with cinnamon powder to mask the taste of the turmeric)

2 shakes of Himalayan salt

Two thin pats of salted Irish grass fed butter

Use a filter to pour the coffee into your cup.

Add 8-10 ounces of raw milk.

Add raw or organic honey to add body and stir.



Be prepared to feel like this guy: :5a:

Now it's your turn. What's your favorite DIY recipe? Or your favorite coffee shoppe coffee name?
 Quoting: Java Joe 78042748


norespect

Folgers...black.

Are you a homosexual?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 60052792


No. Not that there isn't anything wrong with that.
2_Corinthians_5:21_

User ID: 76750922
United States
10/09/2019 04:18 PM
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Re: My killer coffee recipe...and what's yours?
A little half/half, no sugar, strong coffee.
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 78042748
United States
10/09/2019 04:21 PM
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Re: My killer coffee recipe...and what's yours?
i just smoke a cigar
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 78067621


ROFL!
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 78042748
United States
10/09/2019 05:24 PM
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Re: My killer coffee recipe...and what's yours?
The elixir of life...coffee! Coffee is so vital that the beans are the #2 worldwide international commodity after oil.

This recipe is for 16 ounces of coffee.

Boil 14 ounces of water keeping 2 ounces of spring water in measuring cup.

2 tablespoons coffee grounds in measuring cup

Add boiling water to measuring cup.

Stir with bamboo shishkabob stick or wooden spoon, not metal or plastic. Focus on the swirling coffee and ask a couple times, "Why do I love discovering what's between me and loving kindness?" This allows you to turn your killer coffee into lover's coffee.

Use a 24-ounce porcelain or ceramic cup (no paper, plastic or styrofoam)

Add a large quartz crystal to your cup big enough that you won't accidentally swallow it.

Add the following to your cup:

Sprinkle stevia to taste (Sweet Leaf brand is the one I use.) Don't overuse pure stevia or your coffee can taste metallic. Sweet Leaf has inulin in it which prevents that from happening unless way to much is used.

5-6 shakes of ginger

2 cranks of black pepper

1-2 shakes of turmeric (the pepper and turmeric are to help with joints and memory not for taste)

smother turmeric with cinnamon powder to mask the taste of the turmeric)

2 shakes of Himalayan salt

Two thin pats of salted Irish grass fed butter

Use a filter to pour the coffee into your cup.

Add 8-10 ounces of raw milk.

Add raw or organic honey to add body and stir.



Be prepared to feel like this guy: :5a:

Now it's your turn. What's your favorite DIY recipe? Or your favorite coffee shoppe coffee name?
 Quoting: Java Joe 78042748


That is the most complicated and pretentious damn cup of coffee I've ever heard of. Who has time for that at 6:00 in the morning? or 8:00 at night for that matter?

Here's my recipe for the perfect cup of coffee:
Fill water reservoir with water
Put coffee in coffee filter
Press button
Pour 1 oz milk in cup
Pour coffee on top of milk (saves a step by not having to stir)

I'm in this for the caffeine. The spiritual awakening is for church. At which we have coffee, incidentally, but not weird coffee. Just coffee.
 Quoting: Deplorable Revbo™


Would prefer adding milk first but with a 24 ounce cup the mixture touches most of the filter screen when you're adding as much milk as this recipe calls for. Maybe a with a bigger cup, but then a larger screen would be needed.
Truth 123
User ID: 77747381
United States
10/09/2019 05:35 PM
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Re: My killer coffee recipe...and what's yours?
I put the k cup in the keurig and drink it. Who the fuck has time for all this bullshit?
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 78042748
United States
10/09/2019 05:39 PM
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Re: My killer coffee recipe...and what's yours?
I put the k cup in the keurig and drink it. Who the fuck has time for all this bullshit?
 Quoting: Truth 123 77747381


Slaves have no time.

Fools drink coffee made using boiling water strained through a plastic cup. Those Georgia Guide Stones might as well have your name chiseled into it. Did ya ever think of that?

The time you save will be spent waiting for a CAT scan and in a nursing home because brain cells coated in plastic need extra loving care.
Zorro A. Knievel Esq.

User ID: 73556435
United States
10/09/2019 05:49 PM

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Re: My killer coffee recipe...and what's yours?
The elixir of life...coffee! Coffee is so vital that the beans are the #2 worldwide international commodity after oil.

This recipe is for 16 ounces of coffee.

Boil 14 ounces of water keeping 2 ounces of spring water in measuring cup.

2 tablespoons coffee grounds in measuring cup

Add boiling water to measuring cup.

Stir with bamboo shishkabob stick or wooden spoon, not metal or plastic. Focus on the swirling coffee and ask a couple times, "Why do I love discovering what's between me and loving kindness?" This allows you to turn your killer coffee into lover's coffee.

Use a 24-ounce porcelain or ceramic cup (no paper, plastic or styrofoam)

Add a large quartz crystal to your cup big enough that you won't accidentally swallow it.

Add the following to your cup:

Sprinkle stevia to taste (Sweet Leaf brand is the one I use.) Don't overuse pure stevia or your coffee can taste metallic. Sweet Leaf has inulin in it which prevents that from happening unless way to much is used.

5-6 shakes of ginger

2 cranks of black pepper

1-2 shakes of turmeric (the pepper and turmeric are to help with joints and memory not for taste)

smother turmeric with cinnamon powder to mask the taste of the turmeric)

2 shakes of Himalayan salt

Two thin pats of salted Irish grass fed butter

Use a filter to pour the coffee into your cup.

Add 8-10 ounces of raw milk.

Add raw or organic honey to add body and stir.



Be prepared to feel like this guy: :5a:

Now it's your turn. What's your favorite DIY recipe? Or your favorite coffee shoppe coffee name?
 Quoting: Java Joe 78042748



That sounds gayer than cum on a mustache.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 72447176


hesright
Zorro A. Knievel Esq.
Zorro A. Knievel Esq.

User ID: 73556435
United States
10/09/2019 05:51 PM

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Re: My killer coffee recipe...and what's yours?
The elixir of life...coffee! Coffee is so vital that the beans are the #2 worldwide international commodity after oil.

This recipe is for 16 ounces of coffee.

Boil 14 ounces of water keeping 2 ounces of spring water in measuring cup.

2 tablespoons coffee grounds in measuring cup

Add boiling water to measuring cup.

Stir with bamboo shishkabob stick or wooden spoon, not metal or plastic. Focus on the swirling coffee and ask a couple times, "Why do I love discovering what's between me and loving kindness?" This allows you to turn your killer coffee into lover's coffee.

Use a 24-ounce porcelain or ceramic cup (no paper, plastic or styrofoam)

Add a large quartz crystal to your cup big enough that you won't accidentally swallow it.

Add the following to your cup:

Sprinkle stevia to taste (Sweet Leaf brand is the one I use.) Don't overuse pure stevia or your coffee can taste metallic. Sweet Leaf has inulin in it which prevents that from happening unless way to much is used.

5-6 shakes of ginger

2 cranks of black pepper

1-2 shakes of turmeric (the pepper and turmeric are to help with joints and memory not for taste)

smother turmeric with cinnamon powder to mask the taste of the turmeric)

2 shakes of Himalayan salt

Two thin pats of salted Irish grass fed butter

Use a filter to pour the coffee into your cup.

Add 8-10 ounces of raw milk.

Add raw or organic honey to add body and stir.



Be prepared to feel like this guy: :5a:

Now it's your turn. What's your favorite DIY recipe? Or your favorite coffee shoppe coffee name?
 Quoting: Java Joe 78042748


norespect

Folgers...black.

Are you a homosexual?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 60052792


hesright

Have you tried Folgers 1850?
Zorro A. Knievel Esq.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 60097151
United States
10/09/2019 06:00 PM
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Re: My killer coffee recipe...and what's yours?
Cold brew made in a Mason jar. 3-6 hours till perfection of smooth achieved. Then add stevia, cinnamon, nutmeg,ginger. Juuuuust a tiny drop of vanilla extract.
Add half and half. Stir with a silver spoon and add ice. Perfect!
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 76869839
United States
10/09/2019 06:05 PM
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Re: My killer coffee recipe...and what's yours?
my big secret is to use either Valhalla or Pete's Major Dickenson's and a glass french press with no plastic.

beans, then fresh grind.

use a bout a tablespoon extra over recommended.

black.
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 78042748
United States
10/09/2019 06:08 PM
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Re: My killer coffee recipe...and what's yours?
Cold brew made in a Mason jar. 3-6 hours till perfection of smooth achieved. Then add stevia, cinnamon, nutmeg,ginger. Juuuuust a tiny drop of vanilla extract.
Add half and half. Stir with a silver spoon and add ice. Perfect!
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 60097151


Mmm mmm! Sounds wicked!
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 72810610
United States
10/09/2019 06:12 PM
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Re: My killer coffee recipe...and what's yours?
Yerba mate or guayasa all the way
Every store bought ground coffee has mycotoxins in them, and it’s super acidic, and it tricks your GI tract into when it thinks there should be a bowel movement....
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 78054348
United States
10/09/2019 06:14 PM
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Re: My killer coffee recipe...and what's yours?
Warm tap water 2 tsps of sanka instant 1 tsp creamer microwave 45 seconds enjoy.coffee4
RepublicofTexas

User ID: 49133205
United States
10/09/2019 06:20 PM

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Re: My killer coffee recipe...and what's yours?
Someone forward these to star butts. For variety just break off a partial cinnamon stick and add to the mr coffee basket.

Last Edited by RepublicofTexas on 10/09/2019 06:30 PM
Make America Strong Again
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 78042748
United States
10/09/2019 06:22 PM
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Re: My killer coffee recipe...and what's yours?
Yerba mate or guayasa all the way
Every store bought ground coffee has mycotoxins in them, and it’s super acidic, and it tricks your GI tract into when it thinks there should be a bowel movement....
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 72810610


Will try that when the coffee gets low. Thanks for the tip. Do they taste at all like coffee?

Sampled kava kava once - OMG - it should be a crime to trick anyone into trying it.
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 78042748
United States
10/09/2019 06:23 PM
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Re: My killer coffee recipe...and what's yours?
Warm tap water 2 tsps of sanka instant 1 tsp creamer microwave 45 seconds enjoy.coffee4
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 78054348


Congratulations! You were able to include four death wishes into one sentence.

Tap water

Sanka

Creamer

Microwave.
eatinmraw
User ID: 41033436
United States
10/09/2019 06:24 PM
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Re: My killer coffee recipe...and what's yours?
The elixir of life...coffee! Coffee is so vital that the beans are the #2 worldwide international commodity after oil.

This recipe is for 16 ounces of coffee.

Boil 14 ounces of water keeping 2 ounces of spring water in measuring cup.

2 tablespoons coffee grounds in measuring cup

Add boiling water to measuring cup.

Stir with bamboo shishkabob stick or wooden spoon, not metal or plastic. Focus on the swirling coffee and ask a couple times, "Why do I love discovering what's between me and loving kindness?" This allows you to turn your killer coffee into lover's coffee.

Use a 24-ounce porcelain or ceramic cup (no paper, plastic or styrofoam)

Add a large quartz crystal to your cup big enough that you won't accidentally swallow it.

Add the following to your cup:

Sprinkle stevia to taste (Sweet Leaf brand is the one I use.) Don't overuse pure stevia or your coffee can taste metallic. Sweet Leaf has inulin in it which prevents that from happening unless way to much is used.

5-6 shakes of ginger

2 cranks of black pepper

1-2 shakes of turmeric (the pepper and turmeric are to help with joints and memory not for taste)

smother turmeric with cinnamon powder to mask the taste of the turmeric)

2 shakes of Himalayan salt

Two thin pats of salted Irish grass fed butter

Use a filter to pour the coffee into your cup.

Add 8-10 ounces of raw milk.

Add raw or organic honey to add body and stir.



Be prepared to feel like this guy: :5a:

Now it's your turn. What's your favorite DIY recipe? Or your favorite coffee shoppe coffee name?
 Quoting: Java Joe 78042748


I would shit my pants after the first sip.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 66619947




Easy to solve. Just don't wear pants when drinkin this madman's coffee.


pffft-spitsmoke
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 78042748
United States
10/09/2019 06:38 PM
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Re: My killer coffee recipe...and what's yours?
The elixir of life...coffee! Coffee is so vital that the beans are the #2 worldwide international commodity after oil.

This recipe is for 16 ounces of coffee.

Boil 14 ounces of water keeping 2 ounces of spring water in measuring cup.

2 tablespoons coffee grounds in measuring cup

Add boiling water to measuring cup.

Stir with bamboo shishkabob stick or wooden spoon, not metal or plastic. Focus on the swirling coffee and ask a couple times, "Why do I love discovering what's between me and loving kindness?" This allows you to turn your killer coffee into lover's coffee.

Use a 24-ounce porcelain or ceramic cup (no paper, plastic or styrofoam)

Add a large quartz crystal to your cup big enough that you won't accidentally swallow it.

Add the following to your cup:

Sprinkle stevia to taste (Sweet Leaf brand is the one I use.) Don't overuse pure stevia or your coffee can taste metallic. Sweet Leaf has inulin in it which prevents that from happening unless way to much is used.

5-6 shakes of ginger

2 cranks of black pepper

1-2 shakes of turmeric (the pepper and turmeric are to help with joints and memory not for taste)

smother turmeric with cinnamon powder to mask the taste of the turmeric)

2 shakes of Himalayan salt

Two thin pats of salted Irish grass fed butter

Use a filter to pour the coffee into your cup.

Add 8-10 ounces of raw milk.

Add raw or organic honey to add body and stir.



Be prepared to feel like this guy: :5a:

Now it's your turn. What's your favorite DIY recipe? Or your favorite coffee shoppe coffee name?
 Quoting: Java Joe 78042748


I would shit my pants after the first sip.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 66619947




Easy to solve. Just don't wear pants when drinkin this madman's coffee.


pffft-spitsmoke
 Quoting: eatinmraw 41033436


ROFLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!

On the plus side, being on the floor does make it easier to lick up the drippings!
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 78042748
United States
10/09/2019 06:41 PM
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Re: My killer coffee recipe...and what's yours?
All these folks who rebel against coffee having a dozen ingredients in it are the same ones who will eat chips with an ingredient list that's longer than a Zombie cable binge weekend.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 72810610
United States
10/09/2019 09:25 PM
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Re: My killer coffee recipe...and what's yours?
Yerba mate or guayasa all the way
Every store bought ground coffee has mycotoxins in them, and it’s super acidic, and it tricks your GI tract into when it thinks there should be a bowel movement....
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 72810610


Will try that when the coffee gets low. Thanks for the tip. Do they taste at all like coffee?

Sampled kava kava once - OMG - it should be a crime to trick anyone into trying it.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 78042748


Yerba mate or guayasa all the way
Every store bought ground coffee has mycotoxins in them, and it’s super acidic, and it tricks your GI tract into when it thinks there should be a bowel movement....
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 72810610


Will try that when the coffee gets low. Thanks for the tip. Do they taste at all like coffee?

Sampled kava kava once - OMG - it should be a crime to trick anyone into trying it.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 78042748


No prob man. And I will occasionally have coffee (organic whole bean, fresh grind, all glass French press), but I just like to have something else in the caffeine rotation.

As for taste, it’s like a mix between tea and coffee, moreso for the guayasa leaf. They’re both def herbalish, with a predominant tea kinda taste, but they both taste distinctly different. Yerba is slightly stronger, but has more of that tea/earthy taste. Never had the kava though! There are many other plants that produce natural caffeine, but they are so hard/impossible to get in the states! The yerba/guayasa are the only two imports I’ve been able to find..
RepublicofTexas

User ID: 77638987
Canada
10/09/2019 09:28 PM

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Re: My killer coffee recipe...and what's yours?
Anyone drink the cat turd coffee?
Make America Strong Again
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 78042748
United States
10/10/2019 01:44 PM
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Re: My killer coffee recipe...and what's yours?
Put keurig pod in machine hit start, add soy based cancer causing french vanilla and drink
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 56086007


Some sound advice: never trust anyone who drinks only one cup of coffee at a sitting. Besides what could go wrong drinking something that is being filtered through hot plastic?
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 78042748
United States
10/10/2019 05:06 PM
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Re: My killer coffee recipe...and what's yours?
BTW, my coffee sucked this morning. It tasted watery. Gonna make it without water next time ot see if that makes any difference.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1956277
United States
10/10/2019 05:29 PM
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Re: My killer coffee recipe...and what's yours?
We went for lunch ordered decaf and wow was it good asked the server would you believe it was Sanka? Bold and rich flavor without all the caffeine .I think we will have a refill without the shakes.thanks sanka.coffee4 applause2
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 77713188
United States
10/10/2019 05:33 PM
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Re: My killer coffee recipe...and what's yours?
That is the most complicated and pretentious damn cup of coffee I've ever heard of. Who has time for that at 6:00 in the morning? or 8:00 at night for that matter?

Here's my recipe for the perfect cup of coffee:
Fill water reservoir with water
Put coffee in coffee filter
Press button
Pour 1 oz milk in cup
Pour coffee on top of milk (saves a step by not having to stir)

I'm in this for the caffeine. The spiritual awakening is for church. At which we have coffee, incidentally, but not weird coffee. Just coffee.
 Quoting: Deplorable Revbo™


^^^THIS^^^chuckle
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 78036803
United Kingdom
10/10/2019 05:35 PM
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Re: My killer coffee recipe...and what's yours?
You freaks adding butter to coffee because its on trend.

Have you not got hipster beards to tend?
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 75169334
United States
10/10/2019 05:51 PM
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Re: My killer coffee recipe...and what's yours?
Who wants all that crap in their coffee?
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 76770632
United States
10/10/2019 05:52 PM
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Re: My killer coffee recipe...and what's yours?
I only drink espresso coffee
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 76770632
United States
10/10/2019 05:53 PM
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Re: My killer coffee recipe...and what's yours?
The elixir of life...coffee! Coffee is so vital that the beans are the #2 worldwide international commodity after oil.

This recipe is for 16 ounces of coffee.

Boil 14 ounces of water keeping 2 ounces of spring water in measuring cup.

2 tablespoons coffee grounds in measuring cup

Add boiling water to measuring cup.

Stir with bamboo shishkabob stick or wooden spoon, not metal or plastic. Focus on the swirling coffee and ask a couple times, "Why do I love discovering what's between me and loving kindness?" This allows you to turn your killer coffee into lover's coffee.

Use a 24-ounce porcelain or ceramic cup (no paper, plastic or styrofoam)

Add a large quartz crystal to your cup big enough that you won't accidentally swallow it.

Add the following to your cup:

Sprinkle stevia to taste (Sweet Leaf brand is the one I use.) Don't overuse pure stevia or your coffee can taste metallic. Sweet Leaf has inulin in it which prevents that from happening unless way to much is used.

5-6 shakes of ginger

2 cranks of black pepper

1-2 shakes of turmeric (the pepper and turmeric are to help with joints and memory not for taste)

smother turmeric with cinnamon powder to mask the taste of the turmeric)

2 shakes of Himalayan salt

Two thin pats of salted Irish grass fed butter

Use a filter to pour the coffee into your cup.

Add 8-10 ounces of raw milk.

Add raw or organic honey to add body and stir.



Be prepared to feel like this guy: :5a:

Now it's your turn. What's your favorite DIY recipe? Or your favorite coffee shoppe coffee name?
 Quoting: Java Joe 78042748


For my sleepy time coffee add the following the the previous recipe:

1 shake of coriander (too much changes the flavor)

5-10 shakes of pumpkin pie spice depending on the lateness of the hour.

2 shakes of allspice.


This recipe was discovered by accident. After adding them a couple times I'd fall asleep at the computer regardless of the time of day. lol
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 78042748


Wow





GLP