Soon toilet paper will be rationed to 30 pieces a month to avoid going over your carbon footprint allowance..HERE IS THE WOKE WAY TO WIPE

The only ironic problem I see is that with this method you will be forced to get shit all over your hands , and if toilet paper is rationed I assume water would also be rationed so washing your hands will also be a luxury people wouldn't want waste water on so disease will likely spread much more regularly.

You make alot of assumptions; in the meantime, invest in a Bidet.

They run about $30, install in about 15 minutes on any toilet, leave you cleaner and would even give someone like yourself a nice thrill every morning when you use it.

Why are you wasting good drinking water by pooping in it?
The states will probably enforce compositing your waste in the future to conserve water.

I have bidet... Smearing crap over my butt crack until I can't detect it on a white piece of paper is barbaric if you think about it.

Water is a renewable resource. If you "use water" it doesn't disappear. It doesn't even turn into another chemical.

It may have things in it in "suspension". But the water cycle fixes that.

That does not stop states from forbidding water harvesting or preventing ponds. They already believe they own the water that falls on your land.

True, but if you live in one of those states.. That's your fault. Not to be a dick,,, People get the government they deserve. Either move or become politically active and reverse the stupidity.

Fortunately I do not live in one of those states but if the libs get their way look out.

Last Edited by Achduke7 on 10/11/2019 11:39 AM

then how do you dry your ass after ?

Someone gets paid to teach this to kids? Seems like the parents responsibility.

Ahhh! Someone who GETS it! Once you've used a Bidet, you never want to use anything else.


Proctologists have suggested bidets for decades to patients suffering from chronic hemorroids or other rectal problems. They are also ideal for the elderly or people with mobility issues.

And, for the whiners claiming that bidets only waste more water - the average use involves MAYBE 8oz. unless you really enjoy the ride. Which CAN happen to people who lack any other thrills in their lives like those with full bookshelves next to their commodes.

As for drying afterward? Many bidets come with air-dryers; otherwise the paper you use to dry is just a fraction of what is normally used to keep your fingers out of a freshly-filthy crack. In most cases, a bidet will pay for itself in less than a year from TP savings alone, especially if you're really hairy and have to spin off 6' of paper before you even start to feel clean... that's just adding waste upon waste down the sewer pipes.

Now: what about a jet of COLD water hitting your uber-sweet spot? The temperature in your water lines will be the same as the ambient one in your entire house! If you keep your house cold, the first water out of that nozzle will match it and vice-versa if your house is warmer. In any event, the initial shock vanishes within a few seconds and after that you may not want to get up off your new, improved throne. BOTTOMline: you really don't need a bidet with a heated water option.


The only thing the OP's video got right is that we should all reduce our carbon footprint and a bidet is a great way to start. Besides, your Ass will thank you for it!

Doubters need only watch a few YouTube videos of first time bidet users who all have ONE thing in common... a big-assed GRIN on their faces!

TRUST ME ON THIS: a $35 bidet makes a great Christmas gift the recipient will be talking about -and using- for the rest of their lives. But, give yourself one first!

Last Edited by GSB/LTD on 10/11/2019 01:10 PM

Yup use a bidet and you won't have a stinky ass. You would think that would be common sense.

Calm down. All rationing is to support an illegal black market. It’s about money and not the “environment”. Right?

Someday you'll be able to buy TP Credits.

The wealthy can wipe till the cows come home. The poor will have to use Corn Cobs.

And, when I'm not home...

Baby Wipes ftw.

Brasil's president already said to folks to shiet every second day

Jair Bolsonaro: 'Poop every other day' to protect the environment

[link to www.bbc.com (secure)]

welcome to the NWO

Personally, I'm still waiting for someone to explain how to use the three seashells! In the meantime, I'll stick with my NEO 120.

for your butthole

for smoking joe bidet