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| 09:34 AM | ||
| Users Online Now: 2,166 (Who's On?) | Visitors Today: 480,389 | |
| Pageviews Today: 836,363 | Threads Today: 408 | Posts Today: 6,040 |
| 09:34 AM | ||
How quickly we forget | |
TlvmmCpoft (OP) User ID: 77347043  Poland10/25/2019 03:55 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | ... Quoting: TlvmmCpoft Yeah. Most of this stuff has been documented. As for what I saw in person, one example: I was dragged along for the sciences, so I saw an impoverished neighborhood used a lab for DoD funded medical research by a nearby university. The "participants" were not informed that they were research subjects. They thought they were being helped be a medical outreach program from the university. The resulting death rate was high. Have you ever listened or read about Joseph P. Farrell's work on the Nazi's? If so, do you think he had some good insights? I really enjoyed his ideas on how they had superior technology that wasn't based on Einstein or Newtonian physics. Did you see or were exposed to any of this different technology? Nah, I haven't seen any advanced science, other than medical equipment that was still in testing but would be in common use a few decades later. Mostly, what I saw was them fucking up. And, don't get me wrong, I know a lot of science is about screwing up. It might take 200 tries before getting close to anything usable. It's just painful to watch when the subject is a human who didn't ask to be there or who has been lied to and is told they're being treated for a separate medical condition. It was also really surreal to realize there was testing going on..on an entire neighborhood. My apologizes OP, I guess from your point of view, this subject has a completely different impact. My excitement was misplaced. So, how the heck did you make it out with your sanity? Was any of it good? Will you be able to make peace with the memories? Eh, it's understandable. We all have our interests. From an emotional perspective, I thought I had experienced humanity early on. My mom showed me kindness, she argued with the guards so I could keep my stupid stuffed animals, and so from her I learned about the good side of humanity, and I kept it alive inside of me - that little light in the darkness. Then I lost her, got dragged across the globe, and faced several decades with people who wouldn't know what humanity was if it smacked them in the face. So, I shoved all emotionality under the carpet, became an automaton, and bided my time until I could go looking for that humanity - and her - again. I finally had the opportunity to make contact with people in my original country. It turns out they're more soulless cunts than the soulless cunts I grew up with. So, I don't know. I carried that little flame of humanity with me all of those decades, keeping it alive. And now, I'm not even sure it exists in the place I originally picked it up. It's just a single flame with no origin. Kind of depressing. I don't know what lies they told you, but I can promise they were lies. There's a fine line between training, trauma, and torture. |
| TlvmmCpoft (OP) User ID: 77347043 Poland10/25/2019 03:58 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | First, I wish to thank you for this heart-felt and very Quoting: TheOracle'sCookie personal account of what you have endured in your life, your perspective and your "philosophy of experience" gained from growing up in the midst of severe trauma. I am encouraged by what appears in your writing as your personal resilience to survive against all odds. That you were ALSO traumatized emotionally during "peace time" as you were in "war time" doesn't negate the quantitative effects on your psyche and that shouldn't be discounted by anyone (though trolls will always hop on this kind of a thread.) I am not sure if you are familiar, OP, with any of the writings or videos of the wonderful teacher, Eckhart Tolle. He is the author of "The Power of Now" (which attempts to help us take our focus off--but NOT forgetting--the PAST as well as off--but not negating its anticipation--the FUTURE.) Both the past and the future are always present with us in the NOW...but they become less important as one learns the important difference in just "being present." Tolle also explains something he calls "...the PAIN BODY." There is a personal "pain body"--a type of phantom energy which collects all the bad experiences of one's own life and "bundles" that energy in a kind of "alternate personality" which can bubble to the surface in times of stress or challenge. Likewise, there is ALSO A COLLECTIVE PAIN BODY that contains the "bundled negative energies" endured by one's ancestors and by the collective unconscious of all human beings. (Even Immanuel Velikovsky talks about this collective state in some of his interviews but his focus is on great global catastrophe which we all carry from birth.) I think if you look into some of Eckhart Tolle's insights it could help a great deal...It helped me. Below is a video from Eckhart Tolle as he discusses the "PAIN BODY" and as he attempts to help put this in perspective. [link to youtu.be (secure)]  6 Minute duration. PART 2: [link to youtu.be (secure)] 8 Minute duration. Hope this helps you on your journey to find peace. You are a brave soul. Thanks for sharing your story.  TheOracle'sCookie  I think we all have a different name for that pain. I don't know what lies they told you, but I can promise they were lies. There's a fine line between training, trauma, and torture. |
| Anonymous Coward User ID: 77765210  United States10/25/2019 04:09 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | I finally had the opportunity to make contact with people in my original country. It turns out they're more soulless than the soulless I grew up with. So, I don't know. I carried that little flame of humanity with me all of those decades, keeping it alive. And now, I'm not even sure it exists in the place I originally picked it up. It's just a single flame with no origin. Kind of depressing. your flame is not without origin <3 p.s. there *are* still good people, don't let the rotten ones persuade you otherwise |
| TlvmmCpoft (OP) User ID: 77347043 Poland10/25/2019 04:16 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | I finally had the opportunity to make contact with people in my original country. It turns out they're more soulless than the soulless I grew up with. Quoting: trying to fix the broken quote boxesSo, I don't know. I carried that little flame of humanity with me all of those decades, keeping it alive. And now, I'm not even sure it exists in the place I originally picked it up. It's just a single flame with no origin. Kind of depressing. your flame is not without origin <3 p.s. there *are* still good people, don't let the rotten ones persuade you otherwise I notice you deleted my swearing ;) Maybe there are still good people out there somewhere. But the reality of it is that people are usually good for themselves, for their families, maybe their countries as a survival mechanism, and not much beyond that. That's human nature and I'm outside of that loop. Last Edited by TlvmmCpoft on 10/25/2019 04:17 PM I don't know what lies they told you, but I can promise they were lies. There's a fine line between training, trauma, and torture. |
| Anonymous Coward User ID: 71594995 United States10/25/2019 04:31 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | I finally had the opportunity to make contact with people in my original country. It turns out they're more soulless than the soulless I grew up with. Quoting: trying to fix the broken quote boxesSo, I don't know. I carried that little flame of humanity with me all of those decades, keeping it alive. And now, I'm not even sure it exists in the place I originally picked it up. It's just a single flame with no origin. Kind of depressing. your flame is not without origin <3 p.s. there *are* still good people, don't let the rotten ones persuade you otherwise I notice you deleted my swearing ;) Maybe there are still good people out there somewhere. But the reality of it is that people are usually good for themselves, for their families, maybe their countries as a survival mechanism, and not much beyond that. That's human nature and I'm outside of that loop. Maybe these people aren't really good to themselves, even though they appear to be very selfish. If they were good to themselves above all else, it would naturally flow that they would also be good to the people they come into contact with. If they are incurring negative karma by how they interact with others, they are hurting themselves above all else. |
| TlvmmCpoft (OP) User ID: 77347043 Poland10/25/2019 04:32 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | I finally had the opportunity to make contact with people in my original country. It turns out they're more soulless than the soulless I grew up with. Quoting: trying to fix the broken quote boxesSo, I don't know. I carried that little flame of humanity with me all of those decades, keeping it alive. And now, I'm not even sure it exists in the place I originally picked it up. It's just a single flame with no origin. Kind of depressing. your flame is not without origin <3 p.s. there *are* still good people, don't let the rotten ones persuade you otherwise I notice you deleted my swearing ;) Maybe there are still good people out there somewhere. But the reality of it is that people are usually good for themselves, for their families, maybe their countries as a survival mechanism, and not much beyond that. That's human nature and I'm outside of that loop. Maybe these people aren't really good to themselves, even though they appear to be very selfish. If they were good to themselves above all else, it would naturally flow that they would also be good to the people they come into contact with. If they are incurring negative karma by how they interact with others, they are hurting themselves above all else. I never claimed society was healthy.. I don't know what lies they told you, but I can promise they were lies. There's a fine line between training, trauma, and torture. |
| Anonymous Coward User ID: 71594995 United States10/25/2019 04:36 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | ... Quoting: trying to fix the broken quote boxesyour flame is not without origin <3 p.s. there *are* still good people, don't let the rotten ones persuade you otherwise I notice you deleted my swearing ;) Maybe there are still good people out there somewhere. But the reality of it is that people are usually good for themselves, for their families, maybe their countries as a survival mechanism, and not much beyond that. That's human nature and I'm outside of that loop. Maybe these people aren't really good to themselves, even though they appear to be very selfish. If they were good to themselves above all else, it would naturally flow that they would also be good to the people they come into contact with. If they are incurring negative karma by how they interact with others, they are hurting themselves above all else. I never claimed society was healthy.. I know, just trying to warp reality a bit. |
| Anonymous Coward User ID: 78111247 United States10/25/2019 04:36 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
| Anonymous Coward User ID: 78102065 United States10/25/2019 04:38 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
| WokWook User ID: 13253138 United States10/25/2019 04:46 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Dang, just as I was getting deep into "most of WW1/2 history is manufactured by the juice" rabbithole, here you are with a heartfelt personal story. I'm sorry to hear about your struggle:( You've got to be at least 80 years old as well, why come here now to share your story? How did you even find this site? Also, you went to Yale when you were >40 years old? Thread: Propaganda when I was in school Last Edited by WokWook on 10/25/2019 04:50 PM |
| TlvmmCpoft (OP) User ID: 77347043 Poland10/25/2019 04:56 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Dang, just as I was getting deep into "most of WW1/2 history is manufactured by the juice" rabbithole, here you are with a heartfelt personal story. Quoting: WokWook I'm sorry to hear about your struggle:( You've got to be at least 80 years old as well, why come here now to share your story? How did you even find this site? Thanks Your math might need a little work, though.  1944 + being a child 3 decades later in another war does not equal an 80 year old. I feel old, but I'm not that damn old. I'm just fed up with hiding things, with helping with the paint job, with painting myself in by that process. I stayed silent for decades because I thought I was waiting for an exit (and I was, at least a partial exit). But waiting eternally? That serves no purpose. As for how I found this place. The truth? I was on the phone a decade ago. An elderly colleague of my adoptive parent called me and proceeded to say, more than twenty times in an hour-long conversation, "Your mother in MK Ultra," until I googled it to shut him up. To this day, I still don't know if he was trying to imply that she had been working on one of the programs or if she was a result of one. Some things don't need an answer. I don't know what lies they told you, but I can promise they were lies. There's a fine line between training, trauma, and torture. |
| Anonymous Coward User ID: 77449541 United States10/25/2019 05:00 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
| TlvmmCpoft (OP) User ID: 77347043 Poland10/25/2019 05:02 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | I was dragged along to Yale as a kid and into my early 20s, with a gap here and there. I still don't know if people thought I was the dragged along child of a parent without a babysitter or if they thought I was a prodigy. I did get stuck with being forced to participate in many of the class discussions, etc. I also acted as an assistant to a visiting professor, etc, etc. Other times, no one cared if I wandered the halls and the libraries exploring, getting into trouble, and reading way too many civil war journals. I don't know what lies they told you, but I can promise they were lies. There's a fine line between training, trauma, and torture. |
| Anonymous Coward User ID: 78102065 United States10/25/2019 05:05 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
| Anonymous Coward User ID: 78112244  Ireland10/25/2019 05:09 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Dang, just as I was getting deep into "most of WW1/2 history is manufactured by the juice" rabbithole, here you are with a heartfelt personal story. Quoting: WokWook I'm sorry to hear about your struggle:( You've got to be at least 80 years old as well, why come here now to share your story? How did you even find this site? Also, you went to Yale when you were >40 years old? Thread: Propaganda when I was in school  +1 |
| Grove Street User ID: 77822692 United States10/25/2019 05:09 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
| WokWook User ID: 13253138 United States10/25/2019 05:10 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Ahhaa that was a lapse of reading comprehension and not math lol Convinced this particular memory of yours is not genuine. Thread: Post ground-war strategy You were conditioned as a child. You're in the club. Your connections run too deep and your memories too vivid. You are mk'd. Get to a therapist who understands split personality. There has been recent progress in undoing some of the damage. If you're happy in your life now, might not be worth it to keep digging at this. They usually put booby-traps inside your head. |
| TlvmmCpoft (OP) User ID: 77347043 Poland10/25/2019 05:12 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Ahhaa that was a lapse of reading comprehension and not math lol Quoting: WokWook Convinced this particular memory of yours is not genuine. Thread: Post ground-war strategy You were conditioned as a child. You're in the club. Your connections run too deep and your memories too vivid. You are mk'd. Get to a therapist who understands split personality. There has been recent progress in undoing some of the damage. If you're happy in your life now, might not be worth it to keep digging at this. They usually put booby-traps inside your head. I know trauma is supposed to induce multiple personalities, but that's actually pretty rare (thank god). No, I don't have multiple personalities just because I've hung out in hallowed halls, had a shit start to life, or been in the room with some fucked up people. Last Edited by TlvmmCpoft on 10/25/2019 05:13 PM I don't know what lies they told you, but I can promise they were lies. There's a fine line between training, trauma, and torture. |
| canalien* User ID: 77541286  Canada10/25/2019 05:13 PM  Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
| Anonymous Coward User ID: 78020805 United States10/25/2019 05:18 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
| TlvmmCpoft (OP) User ID: 77347043 Poland10/25/2019 05:23 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | OP, you are the most interesting owl on GLP. I think we only have one owl, but if we had a bunch I think you would still be at the top of the list. Quoting: R. Wordsworth To be an old soul, in a forum of old souls... that means something. Aw, thanks. That means a lot.  I don't know what lies they told you, but I can promise they were lies. There's a fine line between training, trauma, and torture. |
| TlvmmCpoft (OP) User ID: 77347043 Poland10/25/2019 05:25 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Yes history repeats itself. Quoting: canalien* If the democrats win, that's it. It'll be like that. Here in Canada we have a degenerative as our leader. He'll follow their lead, and we're all BACK IN CHAINS. And I'm a white chick . Yeah. It's like watching the first tank grinding over us, knowing that it's being followed by another thousand tanks not currently in the spotlight. I don't know what lies they told you, but I can promise they were lies. There's a fine line between training, trauma, and torture. |
DEPLORABLE Lady Jayne Smith Forum Administrator 10/25/2019 05:29 PM  Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
| TlvmmCpoft (OP) User ID: 77347043 Poland10/25/2019 05:33 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | very heartfelt story. Quoting: Grove Street its all double edged and a hot mess on all sides. its all going to be okay or not We won't know until we get there, but from this angle it looks like the reaction time is too slow and we're going to end up in the middle of the fire, again. I don't know what lies they told you, but I can promise they were lies. There's a fine line between training, trauma, and torture. |
| TlvmmCpoft (OP) User ID: 77347043 Poland10/25/2019 05:37 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Ahhaa that was a lapse of reading comprehension and not math lol Quoting: WokWook Convinced this particular memory of yours is not genuine. Thread: Post ground-war strategy You were conditioned as a child. You're in the club. Your connections run too deep and your memories too vivid. You are mk'd. Get to a therapist who understands split personality. There has been recent progress in undoing some of the damage. If you're happy in your life now, might not be worth it to keep digging at this. They usually put booby-traps inside your head. Also, curious why you think a memory of a conversation around a table would be a fake mind controlled one. It was a conversation...with people...sitting at a table. Who would waste thousands of hours, drugs, and god knows what else planting that in someone's mind when (if they really wanted to create a memory of a conversation at a table for some reason), they could just sit - at a table - and have a conversation? I know resources are wasted on absurd things, but that would be monumental absurdity. Last Edited by TlvmmCpoft on 10/25/2019 05:38 PM I don't know what lies they told you, but I can promise they were lies. There's a fine line between training, trauma, and torture. |
| Anonymous Coward User ID: 71594995 United States10/25/2019 05:42 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | very heartfelt story. Quoting: Grove Street its all double edged and a hot mess on all sides. its all going to be okay or not We won't know until we get there, but from this angle it looks like the reaction time is too slow and we're going to end up in the middle of the fire, again. At least you have a set of very beautiful wings (surviving a very interesting life/memories) that will allow you to soar above it all, even if you are standing at ground zero..... ....laughing at life and asking 'is that all you got'? maybe even flying the bird as you stroll through the wreckage singing quietly to yourself, humanity firmly intact as you strive to help others that don't have the mental fortitude to survive the times ahead.... |
| TlvmmCpoft (OP) User ID: 77347043 Poland10/25/2019 05:48 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | very heartfelt story. Quoting: Grove Street its all double edged and a hot mess on all sides. its all going to be okay or not We won't know until we get there, but from this angle it looks like the reaction time is too slow and we're going to end up in the middle of the fire, again. At least you have a set of very beautiful wings (surviving a very interesting life/memories) that will allow you to soar above it all, even if you are standing at ground zero..... ....laughing at life and asking 'is that all you got'? maybe even flying the bird as you stroll through the wreckage singing quietly to yourself, humanity firmly intact as you strive to help others that don't have the mental fortitude to survive the times ahead....  I'm not helping idiots. If we're standing in the middle of hell, I'm going to assume it's idiots that got us into it.I don't know what lies they told you, but I can promise they were lies. There's a fine line between training, trauma, and torture. |
| Anonymous Coward User ID: 71594995 United States10/25/2019 05:51 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
| TlvmmCpoft (OP) User ID: 77347043 Poland10/25/2019 05:57 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | I'm not helping idiots. If we're standing in the middle of hell, I'm going to assume it's idiots that got us into it. Welp, I completely missed that one then. Sorry for the assumptions. It's just reality, unfortunately. When a mechanic keeps breaking your car instead of fixing it, and you're about to lose your job and thus everything you have because you can't get to work without that car...the odds are, unless you are destined to fail, that you will go with any other option other than employing that mechanic again. Because you want to live. I don't know what lies they told you, but I can promise they were lies. There's a fine line between training, trauma, and torture. |
| TlvmmCpoft (OP) User ID: 77347043 Poland10/25/2019 06:03 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Love your threads when you go introspective on your experiences. Quoting: DEPLORABLE Lady Jayne Smith Fascinating. The inside of the mind is a scary place, but it is the season for scary things.  I don't know what lies they told you, but I can promise they were lies. There's a fine line between training, trauma, and torture. |
