Thinking of you in your situation, Daozen. And here are some questions which may help:

Which wellworn path do you find difficult to leave although you recognise the necessity?
How seriously do you take your dreams?
Can you identify new sources of energy for yourself?
What rituals can you embrace to access your own power?
What if enlightenment is not only a 60-year journey but also a decision you can make today?
Which areas of your life would benefit from more discipline?
Are you aware that all dreams are in your grasp if you move towards them step by step?
What appears to be shocking but is actually the result of your own conditioning?
How does comparing yourself to others decrease or increase your momentum to change?
What if we all recognised the truths at the core of every religion?
What if everyone worldwide respected everyone else’s chosen path?