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How To Be a GLP Esoteric Guru - 7 Easy Steps

 
Anonymous Coward
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11/20/2019 03:37 PM
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Re: How To Be a GLP Esoteric Guru - 7 Easy Steps
Watch cool videos like this?
chuckle

Lance Roseman From BC
Grand Poobah, Lance from BC

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11/20/2019 07:08 PM

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Re: How To Be a GLP Esoteric Guru - 7 Easy Steps
Guys.... stop.

This was meant to be a 'how to be a GLP Esoteric Guru' thread not a how to make ppl butthurt who want to be a GLP Esoteric Guru thread.

We're all one.

We are all the great chosen Guru.

Goosfraba....

secret
 Quoting: Merit


But, I don’t want to become one...

Why don’t you teach us how to be a Grill Guru... Mila said that you’re a Grill Guru... yep
 Quoting: LittleMe


Oh, if you girl guru, you get kuru...not a good idea. You end up like Hillary....
If you are not busy weaving your own magick, you are trapped in anothers spell.
I refuse to live in fear of man because I put my trust in the Lord. Every day is a gift and our days are numbered. I choose light over darkness.FightforGod
Anonymous Coward
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11/26/2019 11:08 PM
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Re: How To Be a GLP Esoteric Guru - 7 Easy Steps
1. Avatar and Signature must be dramatic and give a nod to the notion there's a hidden meaning behind them.

2. Answer in pictures or Video whenever possible to avoid directly answering a question or making a statement.

3. Keep answers and statements neutral leaving the reader to make sense of them on their own however they might.

4. Bring up esoteric literature and figures like the Emerald Tablets, Aleister Crowley and throw in something obscure you found after a quick Google search regularly.

5. Have at least one well thought out and competently expressed "experience" to reference as proof of your wisdom, power, adeptness or chosen status.

6. Have one specific subject you can sound knowledgeable on that is esoteric related.

7. Take credit for any insights or happenings others talking to you came to on their own from your neutral and vague advice and explanations.


Thats it! Enjoy your new fame as a Witch, Warlock, Shaman, Seer, Prognosticator or any other title you like.

Practice makes perfect.

:magic:
 Quoting: Merit


Whatever you say Falcon.
Anonymous Coward
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11/26/2019 11:13 PM
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Re: How To Be a GLP Esoteric Guru - 7 Easy Steps
Merit..is your wife going to answer all the questions for you?
 Quoting: Jb 77231822


My husband is working on his laptop while I eat Andes candies and watch Jack Ryan beside him. He likes it when you people make me giggle.
 Quoting: MilaMoon


I love Andes candies.
THE LATHE OF HEAVEN

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11/26/2019 11:18 PM
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Re: How To Be a GLP Esoteric Guru - 7 Easy Steps
there are multiple earthbound spirits attached to OP
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 72938795


heykids
 Quoting: Merit


lol
MilaMoon

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11/26/2019 11:26 PM
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Re: How To Be a GLP Esoteric Guru - 7 Easy Steps
Merit..is your wife going to answer all the questions for you?
 Quoting: Jb 77231822


My husband is working on his laptop while I eat Andes candies and watch Jack Ryan beside him. He likes it when you people make me giggle.
 Quoting: MilaMoon


I love Andes candies.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 71087851


Me too LOL. One of my favorites since I was a kid.
:awakenthemoon:
Repugnant is the creature who would squander the ability to lift an eye to heaven, conscious of their fleeting time here
Anonymous Coward
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11/26/2019 11:42 PM
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Re: How To Be a GLP Esoteric Guru - 7 Easy Steps
Thread: Watching Buckaroo Bonzai and it made me think of you nerds.
Merit  (OP)

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11/27/2019 12:05 AM
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Re: How To Be a GLP Esoteric Guru - 7 Easy Steps
Don't bump my shit posting threads you troglodytes


Don't tell me the moon is shining; show me the glint of light on broken glass.

Lance Roseman From BC
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11/27/2019 04:38 AM

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Re: How To Be a GLP Esoteric Guru - 7 Easy Steps
Don't bump my shit posting threads you troglodytes
 Quoting: Merit


I like ponies. Bump.
If you are not busy weaving your own magick, you are trapped in anothers spell.
I refuse to live in fear of man because I put my trust in the Lord. Every day is a gift and our days are numbered. I choose light over darkness.FightforGod
Anonymous Coward
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11/27/2019 04:58 AM
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Re: How To Be a GLP Esoteric Guru - 7 Easy Steps
norespect
LittleMe
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11/27/2019 06:00 AM

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Re: How To Be a GLP Esoteric Guru - 7 Easy Steps
Don't bump my shit posting threads you troglodytes
 Quoting: Merit


Thread: My Penis Reduction Surgery Was the Best Decision I Ever Made.

chuckle
angel2
I may not be your first love,

first kiss,

first sight,

or first date but

I just want to be

your last everything.

14lovebirds
Anonymous Coward
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Dc-hatersHA
Shawski

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Re: How To Be a GLP Esoteric Guru - 7 Easy Steps
catfilenails
NowIhavetothinkofanam​e

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11/27/2019 06:38 AM
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Re: How To Be a GLP Esoteric Guru - 7 Easy Steps
For a one time fee that goes to homeless Gurus whom we bless by giving them an enchanted hazel wood branch consecrated in menstrual blood and blessed by a genuine ancestor of those who died in the Salem witch trials, you can have access to my spiritual playlist.



 Quoting: Merit


Atta dood! Looks like peeps will be signing up for enchanted branches.
NowIhavetothinkofanameohnoithurts
It's all bull!
Nevertheless, the ruler is not truly wise who cannot discern evils before they develop themselves, and this is a faculty given to few. Niccolo Machiavelli
Karma is funny, people who kick dogs usually get bitten.
If someone doesn't add value to your life, then that someone shouldn't be a part of it.
You can always trust people to do whatever is in their own interests.
It is certain wastelands will be brought under cultivation.
Anonymous Coward
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11/27/2019 10:28 AM
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Re: How To Be a GLP Esoteric Guru - 7 Easy Steps
Money does strange things to people. Class and privilege is a sickness running rampant in our society. Ironically.. The money they all seem to chase..also destroyed their soul in the process. I guess there really is a deal with the devil,eh?
 Quoting: Jb 77231822


You are mad because you're poor? Why not just work on bettering yourself, in that case? 1dunno1
 Quoting: MilaMoon


There are some people who are not poor and have come to realize their lust for more money is pulling them into terrible dramas and conflicts.

Yes, we all need some money to survive in this world. But are we willing to endure the sacrifices to our family, friendships, sanity, and integrity to pursue big money?

It is a known fact that those who have had a spark of awakening to some of the Truths become very humble and realize there is something far greater and more important than the pursue of money.

Perhaps only through your eyes you see someone as being poor, not knowing they might be content, grateful, and joyful.

It is your personal choice what you want to do. No right or wrong.
Merit  (OP)

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11/27/2019 10:31 AM
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Re: How To Be a GLP Esoteric Guru - 7 Easy Steps
Don't bump my shit posting threads you troglodytes
 Quoting: Merit


Thread: My Penis Reduction Surgery Was the Best Decision I Ever Made.

chuckle
 Quoting: LittleMe


That wasn't shit posting. I was creating a support group for ppl like me.


Don't tell me the moon is shining; show me the glint of light on broken glass.

Merit  (OP)

User ID: 78204452
11/27/2019 10:33 AM
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Re: How To Be a GLP Esoteric Guru - 7 Easy Steps
Money does strange things to people. Class and privilege is a sickness running rampant in our society. Ironically.. The money they all seem to chase..also destroyed their soul in the process. I guess there really is a deal with the devil,eh?
 Quoting: Jb 77231822


You are mad because you're poor? Why not just work on bettering yourself, in that case? 1dunno1
 Quoting: MilaMoon


There are some people who are not poor and have come to realize their lust for more money is pulling them into terrible dramas and conflicts.

Yes, we all need some money to survive in this world. But are we willing to endure the sacrifices to our family, friendships, sanity, and integrity to pursue big money?

It is a known fact that those who have had a spark of awakening to some of the Truths become very humble and realize there is something far greater and more important than the pursue of money.

Perhaps only through your eyes you see someone as being poor, not knowing they might be content, grateful, and joyful.

It is your personal choice what you want to do. No right or wrong.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 76731271


If you represented anything you just tried to fake Guru your way through you wouldn't have any problem with someone being rich and openly enjoying it.

You clearly do however. Get over it.


Don't tell me the moon is shining; show me the glint of light on broken glass.

1unformed1

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11/27/2019 10:43 AM
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Re: How To Be a GLP Esoteric Guru - 7 Easy Steps
Money does strange things to people. Class and privilege is a sickness running rampant in our society. Ironically.. The money they all seem to chase..also destroyed their soul in the process. I guess there really is a deal with the devil,eh?
 Quoting: Jb 77231822


You are mad because you're poor? Why not just work on bettering yourself, in that case? 1dunno1
 Quoting: MilaMoon


There are some people who are not poor and have come to realize their lust for more money is pulling them into terrible dramas and conflicts.

Yes, we all need some money to survive in this world. But are we willing to endure the sacrifices to our family, friendships, sanity, and integrity to pursue big money?

It is a known fact that those who have had a spark of awakening to some of the Truths become very humble and realize there is something far greater and more important than the pursue of money.

Perhaps only through your eyes you see someone as being poor, not knowing they might be content, grateful, and joyful.

It is your personal choice what you want to do. No right or wrong.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 76731271


If you represented anything you just tried to fake Guru your way through you wouldn't have any problem with someone being rich and openly enjoying it.

You clearly do however. Get over it.
 Quoting: Merit


THERE ARE SOME PEOPLE ON HERE WHO ARE QUITE SERIOUS

They have done the research

AND ARE DOING THE WORK

and its not about money

AT ALL

GET MY FREE SPIRITUAL BOOKS
THEY ARE MOST VALUABLE !
THEY ARE A GIFT
WHAT YOU HAVE HERE IS 30 YEARS OF HARD WORK, DEEP RESEARCH INTO HOW TO ATTAIN THE HOLY SPIRIT, HOW TO ATTAIN “REAL” DIVINE EXPERIENCE, UNIQUE DIVINE PROVIDENCE.  ACCORDING TO THE ANCIENT METHODS OF THE BIBLICAL PROPHETS.
an overview of
everything
Including :1)The Owner’s Manual to Prosperity and the Soul for Hindus, Christians, Jeuus, Buddhists, Muslims and anyone else
2) “The Definitive Biblical phenomena”
3)The Souls speak
4)”The Owner’s Manual to the Soul” Part 1 The Gate
5)“The Owner’s manual to the Soul” Part 2 THE KABALLAH
6) “The Message”
7)The Book of the Angel Mattatro”n
8)“Book Of ELOHEME”
9)“Teffilin The Owner’s manual”
10)THE MYSTICAL HOLY SHABOT
11)“The Divine structure of unfolding of Heaven and Earth”
12)”The book of “יהו“ה Yhv”h
13) “Markava”  The Divine chariot
 
YOU CAN READ & DOWN
LOAD YOUR FREE COPY OF
THESE BOOKS AT THIS LINK
[link to godssecret.wordpress.com (secure)]

THIS IS 100% FOR REAL

IT WORKS

SEE FOR YOUR SELF
PEACE AND LOVE TO ALL !
 
1unformed1
Merit  (OP)

User ID: 78204452
11/27/2019 10:53 AM
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Re: How To Be a GLP Esoteric Guru - 7 Easy Steps
...


You are mad because you're poor? Why not just work on bettering yourself, in that case? 1dunno1
 Quoting: MilaMoon


There are some people who are not poor and have come to realize their lust for more money is pulling them into terrible dramas and conflicts.

Yes, we all need some money to survive in this world. But are we willing to endure the sacrifices to our family, friendships, sanity, and integrity to pursue big money?

It is a known fact that those who have had a spark of awakening to some of the Truths become very humble and realize there is something far greater and more important than the pursue of money.

Perhaps only through your eyes you see someone as being poor, not knowing they might be content, grateful, and joyful.

It is your personal choice what you want to do. No right or wrong.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 76731271


If you represented anything you just tried to fake Guru your way through you wouldn't have any problem with someone being rich and openly enjoying it.

You clearly do however. Get over it.
 Quoting: Merit


THERE ARE SOME PEOPLE ON HERE WHO ARE QUITE SERIOUS

They have done the research

AND ARE DOING THE WORK

and its not about money

AT ALL

GET MY FREE SPIRITUAL BOOKS
THEY ARE MOST VALUABLE !
THEY ARE A GIFT
WHAT YOU HAVE HERE IS 30 YEARS OF HARD WORK, DEEP RESEARCH INTO HOW TO ATTAIN THE HOLY SPIRIT, HOW TO ATTAIN “REAL” DIVINE EXPERIENCE, UNIQUE DIVINE PROVIDENCE.  ACCORDING TO THE ANCIENT METHODS OF THE BIBLICAL PROPHETS.
an overview of
everything
Including :1)The Owner’s Manual to Prosperity and the Soul for Hindus, Christians, Jeuus, Buddhists, Muslims and anyone else
2) “The Definitive Biblical phenomena”
3)The Souls speak
4)”The Owner’s Manual to the Soul” Part 1 The Gate
5)“The Owner’s manual to the Soul” Part 2 THE KABALLAH
6) “The Message”
7)The Book of the Angel Mattatro”n
8)“Book Of ELOHEME”
9)“Teffilin The Owner’s manual”
10)THE MYSTICAL HOLY SHABOT
11)“The Divine structure of unfolding of Heaven and Earth”
12)”The book of “יהו“ה Yhv”h
13) “Markava”  The Divine chariot
 
YOU CAN READ & DOWN
LOAD YOUR FREE COPY OF
THESE BOOKS AT THIS LINK
[link to godssecret.wordpress.com (secure)]

THIS IS 100% FOR REAL

IT WORKS

SEE FOR YOUR SELF
PEACE AND LOVE TO ALL !
 
 Quoting: 1unformed1


Yes... you clearly have no problems with someone having money and not being ashamed of it or giving you any lmao.

I wasn't sure if I should take you seriously at first but the caps lock and artificially elongated copy and paste post, structured to over compensate for lack of original content, convinced me you are definitely a spiritual Guru worth taking seriously.

Last Edited by Merit on 11/27/2019 10:55 AM


Don't tell me the moon is shining; show me the glint of light on broken glass.

CUB4DK
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11/27/2019 11:03 AM
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Re: How To Be a GLP Esoteric Guru - 7 Easy Steps
Idol1bump A very entertaining and informative thread!

Great job (OP)hfstonerlolsign
Merit  (OP)

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11/27/2019 11:05 AM
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Re: How To Be a GLP Esoteric Guru - 7 Easy Steps
Idol1bump A very entertaining and informative thread!

Great job (OP)hfstonerlolsign
 Quoting: CUB4DK 75414163


Deerlord!


Don't tell me the moon is shining; show me the glint of light on broken glass.

LittleMe
Your little angel ...

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11/27/2019 11:06 AM

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Re: How To Be a GLP Esoteric Guru - 7 Easy Steps
Don't bump my shit posting threads you troglodytes
 Quoting: Merit


Thread: My Penis Reduction Surgery Was the Best Decision I Ever Made.

chuckle
 Quoting: LittleMe


That wasn't shit posting. I was creating a support group for ppl like me.
 Quoting: Merit


lmao
angel2
I may not be your first love,

first kiss,

first sight,

or first date but

I just want to be

your last everything.

14lovebirds
Lady Jayne SmithModerator
Forum Administrator

11/27/2019 11:10 AM

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Re: How To Be a GLP Esoteric Guru - 7 Easy Steps
Merit hasn't posted in 2 pages. All he has to do is start one and the people he's making fun of take it 15 pages every time cruise
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 78184067


Yep

chuckle
Fate whispers to the warrior

"You cannot withstand the storm"

and the warrior whispers back

"I am the storm"

INTJ:
Independent, original, analytical, and determined. Have an exceptional ability to turn theories into solid plans of action. Highly value knowledge, competence, and structure. Driven to derive meaning from their visions. Long-range thinkers. Have very high standards for their performance, and the performance of others. Natural leaders, but will follow if they trust existing leaders.

Life is karma and karma always reflects both past and present circumstance. Our time here is short, so choose carefully and behave well, for all of your tomorrows are presently being decided.

"A fool thinks himself to be wise, but a wise man knows himself to be a fool."
-- William Shakespeare, born April 23, 1564.

Follow. But! Follow only if ye be men of valor! For the entrance to this cave is guarded by a creature so foul, so cruel, that no man yet has fought with it... and lived! BONES of full fifty men lie *strewn* about its lair! So! Brave knights! If you do doubt your courage or your strength, come no further, for death awaits you all with nasty, big, pointy teeth...

KillerBunnyMask
Lady Jayne SmithModerator
Forum Administrator

11/27/2019 11:13 AM

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Re: How To Be a GLP Esoteric Guru - 7 Easy Steps
Money does strange things to people. Class and privilege is a sickness running rampant in our society. Ironically.. The money they all seem to chase..also destroyed their soul in the process. I guess there really is a deal with the devil,eh?
 Quoting: Jb 77231822


You are mad because you're poor? Why not just work on bettering yourself, in that case? 1dunno1
 Quoting: MilaMoon


There are some people who are not poor and have come to realize their lust for more money is pulling them into terrible dramas and conflicts.

Yes, we all need some money to survive in this world. But are we willing to endure the sacrifices to our family, friendships, sanity, and integrity to pursue big money?

It is a known fact that those who have had a spark of awakening to some of the Truths become very humble and realize there is something far greater and more important than the pursue of money.

Perhaps only through your eyes you see someone as being poor, not knowing they might be content, grateful, and joyful.

It is your personal choice what you want to do. No right or wrong.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 76731271


You chose to allow yourself to be pulled into drama and conflicts.

The poorer members of our family are the ones most prone to drama and conflict. They appear to thrive on it, and why I live on the other side of the country from them.
Fate whispers to the warrior

"You cannot withstand the storm"

and the warrior whispers back

"I am the storm"

INTJ:
Independent, original, analytical, and determined. Have an exceptional ability to turn theories into solid plans of action. Highly value knowledge, competence, and structure. Driven to derive meaning from their visions. Long-range thinkers. Have very high standards for their performance, and the performance of others. Natural leaders, but will follow if they trust existing leaders.

Life is karma and karma always reflects both past and present circumstance. Our time here is short, so choose carefully and behave well, for all of your tomorrows are presently being decided.

"A fool thinks himself to be wise, but a wise man knows himself to be a fool."
-- William Shakespeare, born April 23, 1564.

Follow. But! Follow only if ye be men of valor! For the entrance to this cave is guarded by a creature so foul, so cruel, that no man yet has fought with it... and lived! BONES of full fifty men lie *strewn* about its lair! So! Brave knights! If you do doubt your courage or your strength, come no further, for death awaits you all with nasty, big, pointy teeth...

KillerBunnyMask
Nobuddy

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11/27/2019 11:14 AM

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Re: How To Be a GLP Esoteric Guru - 7 Easy Steps

Nobuddy
Centurionx

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11/27/2019 12:06 PM

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Re: How To Be a GLP Esoteric Guru - 7 Easy Steps
chuckle
Hmmmm...
Anonymous Coward
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11/27/2019 12:57 PM
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Re: How To Be a GLP Esoteric Guru - 7 Easy Steps
5* bump to piss OP's haters off.

bump
same MO, different subject
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11/28/2019 05:14 AM
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Q?
Anonymous Coward
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11/28/2019 05:32 AM
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Re: How To Be a GLP Esoteric Guru - 7 Easy Steps
1. Avatar and Signature must be dramatic and give a nod to the notion there's a hidden meaning behind them.

2. Answer in pictures or Video whenever possible to avoid directly answering a question or making a statement.

3. Keep answers and statements neutral leaving the reader to make sense of them on their own however they might.

4. Bring up esoteric literature and figures like the Emerald Tablets, Aleister Crowley and throw in something obscure you found after a quick Google search regularly.

5. Have at least one well thought out and competently expressed "experience" to reference as proof of your wisdom, power, adeptness or chosen status.

6. Have one specific subject you can sound knowledgeable on that is esoteric related.

7. Take credit for any insights or happenings others talking to you came to on their own from your neutral and vague advice and explanations.


Thats it! Enjoy your new fame as a Witch, Warlock, Shaman, Seer, Prognosticator or any other title you like.

Practice makes perfect.

:magic:
 Quoting: Merit
Haha, for a second there I thought you were refering to myself but since I'm a star seed, indigo child, rainbow warrior I can breathe easy that negativity wasn't for me.

It amazes me that people read about this stuff and claim to know stuff..

I read it too and all I know is that I know nothing, probably my comprehension coupled with the fact that I can be a bit dense.
Lance Roseman From BC
Grand Poobah, Lance from BC

User ID: 45329550
Canada
11/28/2019 08:45 PM

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Re: How To Be a GLP Esoteric Guru - 7 Easy Steps

If you are not busy weaving your own magick, you are trapped in anothers spell.
I refuse to live in fear of man because I put my trust in the Lord. Every day is a gift and our days are numbered. I choose light over darkness.FightforGod





GLP