How To Be a GLP Esoteric Guru - 7 Easy Steps

why do his threads keep being bumped?

That is an excellent question. Why do some adults need to pretend to be Esoteric gurus on GLP?

But who cares, I decided to make it easy and make an easy to utilize guide.

1. Avatar and Signature must be dramatic and give a nod to the notion there's a hidden meaning behind them.

2. Answer in pictures or Video whenever possible to avoid directly answering a question or making a statement.

3. Keep answers and statements neutral leaving the reader to make sense of them on their own however they might.

4. Bring up esoteric literature and figures like the Emerald Tablets, Aleister Crowley and throw in something obscure you found after a quick Google search regularly.

5. Have at least one well thought out and competently expressed "experience" to reference as proof of your wisdom, power, adeptness or chosen status.

6. Have one specific subject you can sound knowledgeable on that is esoteric related.

7. Take credit for any insights or happenings others talking to you came to on their own from your neutral and vague advice and explanations.


Thats it! Enjoy your new fame as a Witch, Warlock, Shaman, Seer, Prognosticator or any other title you like.

Practice makes perfect.

You're such a cunt. Didn't you first show up here claiming to be an alien who answers all questions?

Why? What do you want to ask him?

You just bumped one, Sparky