It doesn't work like any of that. You guys have it all wrong. Aliens are all about the pain, torture, and murder. I've never bumped into a benevolent space alien in my life. If you have, then you got duped. There's no "ET phone home" or nothing silly like that. They throw one of their psychics on you, it optionally tortures you to death, and then its end of story. There's no cops or attorneys/lawyers that can save you. There's no benevolent aliens coming to save you either. Nope, no hybrid hunnies no nothing.

Sorry for the bad news people.