Clingy boyfriend, will it turn abusive?

He is a narcissist, he will squeeze the life out of you and all of your children, cut the ties now..

Both of the posters above me are terrible people

The man sounds unstable, has a control issue and she has 5 children that she needs to protect.

He sounds like a narcissist to me, and how does that make me a terrible person?

The news is full of stories of boyfriends harming, raping and killing the children of their girlfriends. She needs to be very weary, and it sounds like her inner promptings / hunches are alerting her to a problem.

Your gut NEVER lies.

I don’t have 5 children, I have 1. But yes my gut tells me something is off. So single I shall remain. I obviously have a broken picker for men

I think that you do not belong in a relationship.

The right thing to do with a boyfriend who expresses legitimate concerns (because he loves you dummy), is to REASSURE them and to whatever you need to, to put his mind at ease.

With the EXTREME Hypergamous nature of today's fucked up females (in the western world), only a couldn't-give-a-shit bad boy type (who doesn't love you) is not going to care whether you are in his future, or not.

This guy obviously treasures what he has, and is obviously concerned.

The reason that I say you don';t BELONG in a relationship, is because you are turning his concern into "clingyness", and/or "abuse", or "controlling". When it's clear that you are behaving in a way that is CAUSING him to wonder about you.

I have been with women who behave in a way that puts me totally at ease, and I have been with women who "make me wonder".

All of the ones who "made me wonder" turned out to be deceitful little whores.

As soon as a woman would treat me like I'm "just being silly", or made me feel guilty for being concerned, I would say... Buh Bye!

Then go out and find a woman that makes me feel comfortable, by her understanding legitimate concerns. It's the ones who pretend you're "out of your mind", instead of reassuring you, that are the ones to avoid like the plague they are.

YOU SIMPLY CANNOT BLAME A GUY (NOWADAYS) FOR BEING CONCERNED AND LOOKING FOR ASSURANCE.

Again, if they don't seem to care, then guess what... THEY DON'T.

Is THAT the kind of guy want? One that can "Take it of leave it", when it comes to you?

You say he "showers you with gifts", and takes you out, complements you, hugs you, slow dances with you, cook together, watch movies and football together, etc...

You can't blame a guy for being careful with his fucking heart, when it comes to the conniving nature of women nowadays. He's obviously concerned. Either have a sit down talk and do what you can to alleviate his concerns, or tell him the truth, that you look at him as a "clinger" and that he should go find someone who appreciates him as much as he does her.

Very weary? You mean "wary"?

So what part, exactly, makes you feel that this romantic guy is a "narcissist"?

Like I said...

You don't BELONG in a relationship.

You are too selfish, uncooperative, and one-sided.

He deserves better.

BAM!!!!

This is very good advice, although I do not give him any reason to not trust me. I work and take care of my child, when my child is at his fathers, I go out, with my boyfriend. I answer all of his texts/ calls etc. He has been cheated on in the past, so I’m assuming this is where this comes from, or maybe he truly cares about me and I just don’t know how to react because I have not had that in so many years.

Asking about former boyfriends is off limits. If you don't want clingy, better bail out now.

Role player. Don’t bite

And I'm sure that SHE never asked about former girlfriends... Right?

Uh huh...

Repent.

Try to work things out with the father of your kids.

If that isn't possible.

Run.

I refuse to stay with some one that calls me nasty names, my sons father did this to us

Do you care about this new boyfriend? You you love him?

Nasty names like what?

I have feelings for him, yes I love him. He pushes the I want to meet your child, I want to marry you, I want us to live together etc too soon I feel. This is what is making me feel like it’s a red flag

He was fine sober, never sober after 5pm. Drunk I was a bitch, c word etc.. this all started after his father died 3 years into our relationship

When your out together, how does he treat people that are in a lower position then him(waiters/service staff and etc)?

He could have inadequacy issues, but, it does look like he is love bombing you. If he is a narcissist, you have to proceed carefully, very carefully. There are techniques to get them to break up with you.

Eitherway, study Narcissistic men, and take that knowledge and see if it lines up with him, or if he is just a clingy mess from being alone. Cluster B's, are kind of soulless, in that they all seem to share a set behavioral pattern that once you know it, is ridiculously predictable.

One thing you can do is, ask him about his ex girlfriends and etc.

Listen to your gut. Something is wrong with him. Stay safe.

Clingy is good - obsessive is less so.

If a man doesn't want to cling too his girlfriend, then your just an orifice. A real man wants to bond and become one with his girl.

I dearly love a girl and know she doesn't want that with me, but it's nearly impossible to find another girl that I want to bond with, or one that wants to bond with me. The world seems to have gone full narcissist today. Living alone sucks - especially as you get older and need to know that someone has your back.

Intimacy is God's gift to men and possibly to women too. Living a life without it is not much of a life.

Yah he’s the ‘crazy one’ as you ask dating advice on GLP.

He gets along with everyone, is super friendly to those in the service industry etc. I invited him to my Christmas party for work and he fit in well with my co workers. I do not see narcissism in his personality, more of an ego thing. I am very attractive and 8 years younger than him. He is a few pounds overweight and always brings that and his age up. I find him super sexy and intelligent and he has an awesome sense of humor.

Walk away. He's an angry homo. He only fucks you for control.

I see.

If her makes you feel uncomfortable then you should definitely set some limits, and take your time with everything. Regardless of what he wants.


But.... I think that guys are like that a lot.


I have actually been involved with a woman who has 1 child from a different relationship.......... and I can certainly say....... given that I had so much feelings for her, her having a child with someone else definitely made me insecure about things.


I think it was really just due to the fact that I loved her and wanted her so much..... and I wanted her to be "mine" only...... and her past relationships made me very insecure about that.


I wanted that security of knowing that we were made for each other.


This is just my own experience.


There were also times that I became verbally and emotionally abusive towards her, especially about her past relationships..... but only as a result of thinking that was ok after she had treated me abusively as well......




I think in your current boyfriend's case..... he values you (to some extent), and is insecure about something.


I think that if you really want to make things work out with him, you will... :)



And also.... funny thing...... the woman who I was with is has 1 child too (daughter), but is 8 years older than me :)

But yeah... after I had became verbally and emotionally abusive towards her.... she broke off all communication with me from her side..... and (purposefully) led me on a "chase" for over a year online... :P.... expressing love for me at the same time....

I think this was her way of getting to know me better :D

I think : l

Watch how he treats wait staff and other peon workers when you are out, this will give you an idea of his real self. It sounds like he is more of a "Nice Guy" than a narc, but you should study up on narcs on u tube. Narcs need to be worshiped and they cannot form emotional bonds, so just be aware of this; they need worshipers.

So yeah.... Your current boyfriend seems to be insecure about some things.


Which, quite frankly, is extremely common. :P

Now that you have spoken of your thoughts to us, try to have this conversation with him. I am hearing boundary issues, and possibly imbalance of affection. If you can't have this discussion with him, you know what that means.

If that is all he is doing so far it seems like you have nothing to worry about. Sounds like he is just really infatuated.