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STICK ME WITH THE FORK I'M DONE.too old to tired to fight anymore

 
CrimsonBleu

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United States
01/23/2020 09:21 AM

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STICK ME WITH THE FORK I'M DONE.too old to tired to fight anymore
I don't get it, I have worked my ass off all my life. I have been thankful. I have appreciated everything in my life that came my way, and I always thought there was a God. I don't know anymore. I actually appreciated the hard times because I knew it would make me grow. I'm tired of growing. I'm tired of fighting. I'm trying to relax, but I can't be at peace. I just want to coast for a while, knowing my bills will be paid and we will have food, and the grandkids can come over and we can go out to dinner and enjoy each other's company. But I can't even afford that. Because after this month, were going to have to get in the government housing or something.

I really don't know anymore.

I don't believe in religion, but I know that there's some kind of a higher source and I think that it just likes to let us think that it cares about us. I think it's just a way for us to keep plugging on and putting out energy to be devoured by it. It gives us enough just to think that it's good, just enough to think that it's there to help and support us. It gives us just enough, and then it takes it all away!

I've gone one step forward 2 steps backwards most of my life. No matter what career or profession I was in I was always just getting by, never could afford to buy a house. Never.

I've had a couple different partners in my life and always ended up supporting them somehow one way or another, and even though that changed about 12 years ago now I'm back to square one. Yep. Supporting him. Oh woe is me, what the hell. Where is my retirement? Where is my partner to help me when I needed? Nowhere. Where is God to help me when I needed? Nowhere.


.I've talked to God till Im blue in the face. I have expressed gratitude. I have expressed anxiety and consternation. I have expressed intentions to carry through on some of my most heartfelt ideas and plans only to have them crash and burn in front of my face.


Nobody has to respond to this stupid thread. In fact, I really don't care. Once I post this am going away anyway. I might come back in a day or 2 to see if anybody cared to even read it. But right now I need to go find a quiet spot, but myself. I'm so tempted to just leave this world. I really am. The only thing keeping here is the love of my family. But what is love when you're living like a pauper, you have nowhere to go, I am old to try and survive anymore?


I used to think positive, felt truly appreciative and happy.

No I don't have a chemical imbalance. No I am not depressed, at least not medically in the sense that somebody would want to put me on meds. I don't want them. I'm depressed because there is no God. I'm depressed because no matter how much effort I put into my endeavors, I am going backwards.


I just needed a place to vent. It doesn't matter whether its this forum or God, I'm going to get the same kind of response. It's all the same.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 78373317
United States
01/23/2020 09:23 AM
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Re: STICK ME WITH THE FORK I'M DONE.too old to tired to fight anymore
I don't get it, I have worked my ass off all my life. I have been thankful. I have appreciated everything in my life that came my way, and I always thought there was a God. I don't know anymore. I actually appreciated the hard times because I knew it would make me grow. I'm tired of growing. I'm tired of fighting. I'm trying to relax, but I can't be at peace. I just want to coast for a while, knowing my bills will be paid and we will have food, and the grandkids can come over and we can go out to dinner and enjoy each other's company. But I can't even afford that. Because after this month, were going to have to get in the government housing or something.

I really don't know anymore.

I don't believe in religion, but I know that there's some kind of a higher source and I think that it just likes to let us think that it cares about us. I think it's just a way for us to keep plugging on and putting out energy to be devoured by it. It gives us enough just to think that it's good, just enough to think that it's there to help and support us. It gives us just enough, and then it takes it all away!

I've gone one step forward 2 steps backwards most of my life. No matter what career or profession I was in I was always just getting by, never could afford to buy a house. Never.

I've had a couple different partners in my life and always ended up supporting them somehow one way or another, and even though that changed about 12 years ago now I'm back to square one. Yep. Supporting him. Oh woe is me, what the hell. Where is my retirement? Where is my partner to help me when I needed? Nowhere. Where is God to help me when I needed? Nowhere.


.I've talked to God till Im blue in the face. I have expressed gratitude. I have expressed anxiety and consternation. I have expressed intentions to carry through on some of my most heartfelt ideas and plans only to have them crash and burn in front of my face.


Nobody has to respond to this stupid thread. In fact, I really don't care. Once I post this am going away anyway. I might come back in a day or 2 to see if anybody cared to even read it. But right now I need to go find a quiet spot, but myself. I'm so tempted to just leave this world. I really am. The only thing keeping here is the love of my family. But what is love when you're living like a pauper, you have nowhere to go, I am old to try and survive anymore?


I used to think positive, felt truly appreciative and happy.

No I don't have a chemical imbalance. No I am not depressed, at least not medically in the sense that somebody would want to put me on meds. I don't want them. I'm depressed because there is no God. I'm depressed because no matter how much effort I put into my endeavors, I am going backwards.


I just needed a place to vent. It doesn't matter whether its this forum or God, I'm going to get the same kind of response. It's all the same.
 Quoting: CrimsonBleu


Is someone stopping you from thinking positive?
Mental Case

User ID: 77701725
United States
01/23/2020 09:28 AM
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Re: STICK ME WITH THE FORK I'M DONE.too old to tired to fight anymore
C'mon dude! Where's that "CAN DO" spirit?

Noah was over 200 before he even STARTED building the ark banana2
If I am going to be damned...I am going to be damned for who I really am!
Anonymous Coward
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01/23/2020 09:28 AM
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Re: STICK ME WITH THE FORK I'M DONE.too old to tired to fight anymore
Prayers sent to you OP. I feel the same as you in much of your post. Perhaps when you come back to this post things will have gotten better for you hugs
Shiva ascendant

User ID: 78173401
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01/23/2020 09:29 AM
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Re: STICK ME WITH THE FORK I'M DONE.too old to tired to fight anymore
It's about the journey my man, the only destination is death and we all get there eventually.


This is the way the world ends.
This is the way the world ends.
This is the way the world ends.
Not with a bang but with a whimper.
Anonymous Coward
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United States
01/23/2020 09:31 AM
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Re: STICK ME WITH THE FORK I'M DONE.too old to tired to fight anymore
stop complaining and pay your slave.
Fist in the Box

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01/23/2020 09:38 AM
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Re: STICK ME WITH THE FORK I'M DONE.too old to tired to fight anymore
Nihilism leads to depression.
the deplorable ar-15 nut

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01/23/2020 09:42 AM
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Re: STICK ME WITH THE FORK I'M DONE.too old to tired to fight anymore
grouphug I hope things turn around for you.
A pissed off American veteran.
Anonymous Coward
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Canada
01/23/2020 09:42 AM
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Re: STICK ME WITH THE FORK I'M DONE.too old to tired to fight anymore
Look around you. There are others that have less than you.
MyPillow

User ID: 78291643
United States
01/23/2020 09:45 AM

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Re: STICK ME WITH THE FORK I'M DONE.too old to tired to fight anymore
Life is a total grind and it just keeps grinding you more and more everyday. Marketing tries to shove ads at you how great this product will make you or the social sites you only see a couple images which are the best of that persons life. But you don’t see all the crap they go through either.

Vampires are us and the people around you. It’s not blood, but your money and time these others will suck out of you. They don’t care about you, only what you give them.

I’m semi retired and have plenty of savings. When anyone contacts me... they want something... no one except my mom calls me to see how I’m doing or wants to hang out. Isn’t that sad? I give so much of my time to others and a couple organizations and never get a thanks. All I get is can you do more or give more? Money....

God doesn’t listen. I’ve prayed and prayed too. Nothing. Heck, Christianity tells you how great the afterlife is worshiping God... Jesus is readying a house for us.. again, they all want to die and not live for the now! That is totally strange. Btw, just how long does it take to ready a house when God just spoke the universe into existence?

If you don’t have a wife and kids... move and craft a new life away from the grind. Take the time for yourself and just unplug all day except for an hour to just get caught up. Hike in the wood and just admire the beauty out there. Go fishing and just slow down. Also, find a good burger spot and enjoy a frickn great burger.
Mental Case

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01/23/2020 09:45 AM
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Re: STICK ME WITH THE FORK I'M DONE.too old to tired to fight anymore
Look around you. There are others that have less than you.

-----------------------

Old Saying: "I cried because I had no shoes...and then I saw a man with no feet".
If I am going to be damned...I am going to be damned for who I really am!
Anonymous Coward
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Ireland
01/23/2020 09:46 AM
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Re: STICK ME WITH THE FORK I'M DONE.too old to tired to fight anymore
Life is a drag
Anonymous Coward
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Philippines
01/23/2020 09:51 AM
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Re: STICK ME WITH THE FORK I'M DONE.too old to tired to fight anymore
I don't get it, I have worked my ass off all my life. I have been thankful. I have appreciated everything in my life that came my way, and I always thought there was a God. I don't know anymore. I actually appreciated the hard times because I knew it would make me grow. I'm tired of growing. I'm tired of fighting. I'm trying to relax, but I can't be at peace. I just want to coast for a while, knowing my bills will be paid and we will have food, and the grandkids can come over and we can go out to dinner and enjoy each other's company. But I can't even afford that. Because after this month, were going to have to get in the government housing or something.

I really don't know anymore.

I don't believe in religion, but I know that there's some kind of a higher source and I think that it just likes to let us think that it cares about us. I think it's just a way for us to keep plugging on and putting out energy to be devoured by it. It gives us enough just to think that it's good, just enough to think that it's there to help and support us. It gives us just enough, and then it takes it all away!

I've gone one step forward 2 steps backwards most of my life. No matter what career or profession I was in I was always just getting by, never could afford to buy a house. Never.

I've had a couple different partners in my life and always ended up supporting them somehow one way or another, and even though that changed about 12 years ago now I'm back to square one. Yep. Supporting him. Oh woe is me, what the hell. Where is my retirement? Where is my partner to help me when I needed? Nowhere. Where is God to help me when I needed? Nowhere.


.I've talked to God till Im blue in the face. I have expressed gratitude. I have expressed anxiety and consternation. I have expressed intentions to carry through on some of my most heartfelt ideas and plans only to have them crash and burn in front of my face.


Nobody has to respond to this stupid thread. In fact, I really don't care. Once I post this am going away anyway. I might come back in a day or 2 to see if anybody cared to even read it. But right now I need to go find a quiet spot, but myself. I'm so tempted to just leave this world. I really am. The only thing keeping here is the love of my family. But what is love when you're living like a pauper, you have nowhere to go, I am old to try and survive anymore?


I used to think positive, felt truly appreciative and happy.

No I don't have a chemical imbalance. No I am not depressed, at least not medically in the sense that somebody would want to put me on meds. I don't want them. I'm depressed because there is no God. I'm depressed because no matter how much effort I put into my endeavors, I am going backwards.


I just needed a place to vent. It doesn't matter whether its this forum or God, I'm going to get the same kind of response. It's all the same.
 Quoting: CrimsonBleu


you are not alone~

grouphug
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 77031407
Canada
01/23/2020 09:55 AM
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Re: STICK ME WITH THE FORK I'M DONE.too old to tired to fight anymore
C'mon dude! Where's that "CAN DO" spirit?

Noah was over 200 before he even STARTED building the ark banana2
 Quoting: Mental Case


Still required al khdir to given him the plans for the boat. Dont see a green man around or your exit package. Might want to sharpen that pencil.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 75756784
Canada
01/23/2020 09:57 AM
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Re: STICK ME WITH THE FORK I'M DONE.too old to tired to fight anymore
God isn't real.

It's the original government hoax to control people.

You should have been making better choices.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 78374437
United States
01/23/2020 09:57 AM
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Re: STICK ME WITH THE FORK I'M DONE.too old to tired to fight anymore
People suck

Now

How can you help you?

Take a break

Deep breathe
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 74950944
United States
01/23/2020 09:59 AM
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Re: STICK ME WITH THE FORK I'M DONE.too old to tired to fight anymore

Look around you. There are others that have less than you.

and notice a lot people have more than you. keep paying your taxes slave unless you want to die from problems with your next procedure and be sent to fema camp where you will commit suicide from torturing yourself to death.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 15699401
United Kingdom
01/23/2020 10:00 AM
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Re: STICK ME WITH THE FORK I'M DONE.too old to tired to fight anymore
Look up Tim Rifat. Use magic to exit the matrix and take control of, and greatly extend, your life. It works. And then some.

There IS a god, but the way it works in this universe and on this planet / density / dimension is that basically you're on your fucking own.

So it's up to you to fight back. TR's system of magic enables you to do that.

Fuck 'em.

Start winning.
Furrry Pete

User ID: 78366289
United States
01/23/2020 10:22 AM
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Re: STICK ME WITH THE FORK I'M DONE.too old to tired to fight anymore
Well I've got troubles galore in my life and not of my own making-- sometimes a spouse is not so much a partner in certain areas, but here we are.

I do believe God carries us through tho and everything we have does ultimately come from Him. I have found too that He gives us what we need, not so much what we want.

Best to keep a sense of humor about the whole thing and not let it get you down.

I don't know tho, if you are not a believer, life may have a different perspective and that's where hopelessness will come in. I was there once too and even then, He was there even when I thought He didn't care either.
Friend of God John 15:15 I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you.

Calm seas do not a sailor make,
Nor easy horses, a horseman.

Nor easy believing, a Christian

Proudly deplorable since forever
Catnip

User ID: 78245071
United States
01/23/2020 10:25 AM

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Re: STICK ME WITH THE FORK I'M DONE.too old to tired to fight anymore
Look up Tim Rifat. Use magic to exit the matrix and take control of, and greatly extend, your life. It works. And then some.

There IS a god, but the way it works in this universe and on this planet / density / dimension is that basically you're on your fucking own.

So it's up to you to fight back. TR's system of magic enables you to do that.

Fuck 'em.

Start winning.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 15699401


There is a God but he/she isn't responsible for your feelings; you are. You have given up. You think you have fought the right fight and have discovered that you've been scammed.

You need to adjust your thinking. You need to clean up your own thinking and be in control of your thoughts and your life.

Learn how to meditate. Prayer is talking to God, meditation is listening to God.
"When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change"
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 73188935
United States
01/23/2020 10:27 AM
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Re: STICK ME WITH THE FORK I'M DONE.too old to tired to fight anymore
I don't get it, I have worked my ass off all my life. I have been thankful. I have appreciated everything in my life that came my way, and I always thought there was a God. I don't know anymore. I actually appreciated the hard times because I knew it would make me grow. I'm tired of growing. I'm tired of fighting. I'm trying to relax, but I can't be at peace. I just want to coast for a while, knowing my bills will be paid and we will have food, and the grandkids can come over and we can go out to dinner and enjoy each other's company. But I can't even afford that. Because after this month, were going to have to get in the government housing or something.

I really don't know anymore.

I don't believe in religion, but I know that there's some kind of a higher source and I think that it just likes to let us think that it cares about us. I think it's just a way for us to keep plugging on and putting out energy to be devoured by it. It gives us enough just to think that it's good, just enough to think that it's there to help and support us. It gives us just enough, and then it takes it all away!

I've gone one step forward 2 steps backwards most of my life. No matter what career or profession I was in I was always just getting by, never could afford to buy a house. Never.

I've had a couple different partners in my life and always ended up supporting them somehow one way or another, and even though that changed about 12 years ago now I'm back to square one. Yep. Supporting him. Oh woe is me, what the hell. Where is my retirement? Where is my partner to help me when I needed? Nowhere. Where is God to help me when I needed? Nowhere.


.I've talked to God till Im blue in the face. I have expressed gratitude. I have expressed anxiety and consternation. I have expressed intentions to carry through on some of my most heartfelt ideas and plans only to have them crash and burn in front of my face.


Nobody has to respond to this stupid thread. In fact, I really don't care. Once I post this am going away anyway. I might come back in a day or 2 to see if anybody cared to even read it. But right now I need to go find a quiet spot, but myself. I'm so tempted to just leave this world. I really am. The only thing keeping here is the love of my family. But what is love when you're living like a pauper, you have nowhere to go, I am old to try and survive anymore?


I used to think positive, felt truly appreciative and happy.

No I don't have a chemical imbalance. No I am not depressed, at least not medically in the sense that somebody would want to put me on meds. I don't want them. I'm depressed because there is no God. I'm depressed because no matter how much effort I put into my endeavors, I am going backwards.


I just needed a place to vent. It doesn't matter whether its this forum or God, I'm going to get the same kind of response. It's all the same.
 Quoting: CrimsonBleu


Go fishing.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 78374401
United States
01/23/2020 10:32 AM
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Re: STICK ME WITH THE FORK I'M DONE.too old to tired to fight anymore
I don't get it, I have worked my ass off all my life. I have been thankful. I have appreciated everything in my life that came my way, and I always thought there was a God. I don't know anymore. I actually appreciated the hard times because I knew it would make me grow. I'm tired of growing. I'm tired of fighting. I'm trying to relax, but I can't be at peace. I just want to coast for a while, knowing my bills will be paid and we will have food, and the grandkids can come over and we can go out to dinner and enjoy each other's company. But I can't even afford that. Because after this month, were going to have to get in the government housing or something.

I really don't know anymore.

I don't believe in religion, but I know that there's some kind of a higher source and I think that it just likes to let us think that it cares about us. I think it's just a way for us to keep plugging on and putting out energy to be devoured by it. It gives us enough just to think that it's good, just enough to think that it's there to help and support us. It gives us just enough, and then it takes it all away!

I've gone one step forward 2 steps backwards most of my life. No matter what career or profession I was in I was always just getting by, never could afford to buy a house. Never.

I've had a couple different partners in my life and always ended up supporting them somehow one way or another, and even though that changed about 12 years ago now I'm back to square one. Yep. Supporting him. Oh woe is me, what the hell. Where is my retirement? Where is my partner to help me when I needed? Nowhere. Where is God to help me when I needed? Nowhere.


.I've talked to God till Im blue in the face. I have expressed gratitude. I have expressed anxiety and consternation. I have expressed intentions to carry through on some of my most heartfelt ideas and plans only to have them crash and burn in front of my face.


Nobody has to respond to this stupid thread. In fact, I really don't care. Once I post this am going away anyway. I might come back in a day or 2 to see if anybody cared to even read it. But right now I need to go find a quiet spot, but myself. I'm so tempted to just leave this world. I really am. The only thing keeping here is the love of my family. But what is love when you're living like a pauper, you have nowhere to go, I am old to try and survive anymore?


I used to think positive, felt truly appreciative and happy.

No I don't have a chemical imbalance. No I am not depressed, at least not medically in the sense that somebody would want to put me on meds. I don't want them. I'm depressed because there is no God. I'm depressed because no matter how much effort I put into my endeavors, I am going backwards.


I just needed a place to vent. It doesn't matter whether its this forum or God, I'm going to get the same kind of response. It's all the same.
 Quoting: CrimsonBleu





Keep on truckin man. This world is a illusory shitshow and a dream. Yes a very real dream but a dream none the less.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 76846638
United States
01/23/2020 10:37 AM
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Re: STICK ME WITH THE FORK I'M DONE.too old to tired to fight anymore
OP, most of us can relate to your struggles! Unfortunately life can be very hard.

Please know that God is real and truly loves each one of us. Again, free will can play a large part in each of our lives and sometimes folks can make some bad choices that can have lasting consequence's.

The following link is from someone whom I highly recommended that gives a wonderful description of who/what God really is and what he wants for our lives.

Peace and blessings!


[link to www.youtube.com (secure)]
Evangelina

User ID: 74476876
United States
01/23/2020 10:38 AM

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Re: STICK ME WITH THE FORK I'M DONE.too old to tired to fight anymore
I don't get it, I have worked my ass off all my life. I have been thankful. I have appreciated everything in my life that came my way, and I always thought there was a God. I don't know anymore. I actually appreciated the hard times because I knew it would make me grow. I'm tired of growing. I'm tired of fighting. I'm trying to relax, but I can't be at peace. I just want to coast for a while, knowing my bills will be paid and we will have food, and the grandkids can come over and we can go out to dinner and enjoy each other's company. But I can't even afford that. Because after this month, were going to have to get in the government housing or something.

I really don't know anymore.

I don't believe in religion, but I know that there's some kind of a higher source and I think that it just likes to let us think that it cares about us. I think it's just a way for us to keep plugging on and putting out energy to be devoured by it. It gives us enough just to think that it's good, just enough to think that it's there to help and support us. It gives us just enough, and then it takes it all away!

I've gone one step forward 2 steps backwards most of my life. No matter what career or profession I was in I was always just getting by, never could afford to buy a house. Never.

I've had a couple different partners in my life and always ended up supporting them somehow one way or another, and even though that changed about 12 years ago now I'm back to square one. Yep. Supporting him. Oh woe is me, what the hell. Where is my retirement? Where is my partner to help me when I needed? Nowhere. Where is God to help me when I needed? Nowhere.


.I've talked to God till Im blue in the face. I have expressed gratitude. I have expressed anxiety and consternation. I have expressed intentions to carry through on some of my most heartfelt ideas and plans only to have them crash and burn in front of my face.


Nobody has to respond to this stupid thread. In fact, I really don't care. Once I post this am going away anyway. I might come back in a day or 2 to see if anybody cared to even read it. But right now I need to go find a quiet spot, but myself. I'm so tempted to just leave this world. I really am. The only thing keeping here is the love of my family. But what is love when you're living like a pauper, you have nowhere to go, I am old to try and survive anymore?


I used to think positive, felt truly appreciative and happy.

No I don't have a chemical imbalance. No I am not depressed, at least not medically in the sense that somebody would want to put me on meds. I don't want them. I'm depressed because there is no God. I'm depressed because no matter how much effort I put into my endeavors, I am going backwards.


I just needed a place to vent. It doesn't matter whether its this forum or God, I'm going to get the same kind of response. It's all the same.
 Quoting: CrimsonBleu



Sounds like satan won this battle, at least temporarily. Get off your hindend and fight!! There is a God and He's waiting for you to seek Him. Don't be a trophy on the enemies wall.

hugs
You say there is no God.. but I KNOW there is, experience will "Trump" theory every time ~ Evangelina

It is not the greatness of my faith that moves mountains but my faith in the Greatness of God

TRUTH has Nothing to do with the Number of People Who are Convinced of it.

Silence in the face of evil is itself evil; God will not hold us guiltless. Not to speak is to speak. Not to act is to act.
-Dietrich Bonhoeffer

NO AMOUNT OF EVIDENCE WILL EVER PERSUADE AN IDIOT ~~ MARK TWAIN
Anonymous Coward
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United States
01/23/2020 10:42 AM
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Re: STICK ME WITH THE FORK I'M DONE.too old to tired to fight anymore
Once we had communities, real ones before subdvisions... people helped each other,you werent alone, ever.

Now youre lucky to have a friend.
John The Baptist
User ID: 78374067
United Kingdom
01/23/2020 10:44 AM
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Re: STICK ME WITH THE FORK I'M DONE.too old to tired to fight anymore
This is what happen when anyone cast pearls before Zionists swine for 4000 years.

No wonder more than half the so called Human race are soulless beasts of the Earth.

Do not give what is holy to dogs [soulless beasts of the earth], and do not cast your pearls before [Zionists] swine, lest perhaps they may trample them under their feet, and then, turning, they may tear you apart [in next reincarnation].

Ask, and it shall be given to you. Seek, and you shall find. Knock, and it shall be opened to you.

For everyone who asks, receives; and whoever seeks, finds; and to anyone who knocks, it will be opened.

Or what man is there among you, who, if his son were to ask him for bread, would offer him a [Freemason] stone;

or if he were to ask him for a fish, would offer him a [old serpent] snake?

Therefore, if you, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your sons, how much more will your Father, who is in heaven, give good things to those who ask him?.

Therefore, all things whatsoever that you wish that men would do to you, do so also to them. For this is the law and the prophets.

Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate, and broad is the way, which leads to perdition, and many there are who enter through it.

How narrow is the gate, and how straight is the way, which leads to life, and few there are who find it!. - Jesus in Matthew 7:6-14



Don't worry, there will not be any more Zionist nor soulless beasts of the Earth in next reincarnation, this time.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 77086408
Romania
01/23/2020 10:45 AM
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Re: STICK ME WITH THE FORK I'M DONE.too old to tired to fight anymore
I don't get it, I have worked my ass off all my life. I have been thankful. I have appreciated everything in my life that came my way, and I always thought there was a God. I don't know anymore. I actually appreciated the hard times because I knew it would make me grow. I'm tired of growing. I'm tired of fighting. I'm trying to relax, but I can't be at peace. I just want to coast for a while, knowing my bills will be paid and we will have food, and the grandkids can come over and we can go out to dinner and enjoy each other's company. But I can't even afford that. Because after this month, were going to have to get in the government housing or something.

I really don't know anymore.

I don't believe in religion, but I know that there's some kind of a higher source and I think that it just likes to let us think that it cares about us. I think it's just a way for us to keep plugging on and putting out energy to be devoured by it. It gives us enough just to think that it's good, just enough to think that it's there to help and support us. It gives us just enough, and then it takes it all away!

I've gone one step forward 2 steps backwards most of my life. No matter what career or profession I was in I was always just getting by, never could afford to buy a house. Never.

I've had a couple different partners in my life and always ended up supporting them somehow one way or another, and even though that changed about 12 years ago now I'm back to square one. Yep. Supporting him. Oh woe is me, what the hell. Where is my retirement? Where is my partner to help me when I needed? Nowhere. Where is God to help me when I needed? Nowhere.


.I've talked to God till Im blue in the face. I have expressed gratitude. I have expressed anxiety and consternation. I have expressed intentions to carry through on some of my most heartfelt ideas and plans only to have them crash and burn in front of my face.


Nobody has to respond to this stupid thread. In fact, I really don't care. Once I post this am going away anyway. I might come back in a day or 2 to see if anybody cared to even read it. But right now I need to go find a quiet spot, but myself. I'm so tempted to just leave this world. I really am. The only thing keeping here is the love of my family. But what is love when you're living like a pauper, you have nowhere to go, I am old to try and survive anymore?


I used to think positive, felt truly appreciative and happy.

No I don't have a chemical imbalance. No I am not depressed, at least not medically in the sense that somebody would want to put me on meds. I don't want them. I'm depressed because there is no God. I'm depressed because no matter how much effort I put into my endeavors, I am going backwards.


I just needed a place to vent. It doesn't matter whether its this forum or God, I'm going to get the same kind of response. It's all the same.
 Quoting: CrimsonBleu
Then get out of our way pussy
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 77943411
United States
01/23/2020 10:47 AM
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Re: STICK ME WITH THE FORK I'M DONE.too old to tired to fight anymore
1. Leave the man.

2. You're life is short, a vapor.

3. There are people in wheel chairs and deformed.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1292386
United States
01/23/2020 10:48 AM
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Re: STICK ME WITH THE FORK I'M DONE.too old to tired to fight anymore
OP, God is not your slave. You are supposed to serve God, not the other way around. You'll get blessings when you least expect them, NOT 'on demand'.

Like a screaming child in public; God ignores temper tantrums, or you'd already be lighting-kill.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 78368136
Ireland
01/23/2020 10:48 AM
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Re: STICK ME WITH THE FORK I'M DONE.too old to tired to fight anymore
But we will fight the good fight and thou we get battle weary, we will triumph over our enemies!
Proud Trump Supporter

User ID: 78315950
United States
01/23/2020 10:50 AM

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Re: STICK ME WITH THE FORK I'M DONE.too old to tired to fight anymore
Life is about the choices we make - and don't make. Fear is what tends to put the breaks on and often results in staying stuck or moving into an old life style pattern to recycle through over and over. Courage is about exploring multiple alternatives outside of the box. Risk is about doing something new.
The truth is incontrovertible. Malice may attack it, ignorance may deride it, but in the end, there it is.
Winston Churchill





GLP