STICK ME WITH THE FORK I'M DONE.too old to tired to fight anymore

I don't get it, I have worked my ass off all my life. I have been thankful. I have appreciated everything in my life that came my way, and I always thought there was a God. I don't know anymore. I actually appreciated the hard times because I knew it would make me grow. I'm tired of growing. I'm tired of fighting. I'm trying to relax, but I can't be at peace. I just want to coast for a while, knowing my bills will be paid and we will have food, and the grandkids can come over and we can go out to dinner and enjoy each other's company. But I can't even afford that. Because after this month, were going to have to get in the government housing or something.

I really don't know anymore.

I don't believe in religion, but I know that there's some kind of a higher source and I think that it just likes to let us think that it cares about us. I think it's just a way for us to keep plugging on and putting out energy to be devoured by it. It gives us enough just to think that it's good, just enough to think that it's there to help and support us. It gives us just enough, and then it takes it all away!

I've gone one step forward 2 steps backwards most of my life. No matter what career or profession I was in I was always just getting by, never could afford to buy a house. Never.

I've had a couple different partners in my life and always ended up supporting them somehow one way or another, and even though that changed about 12 years ago now I'm back to square one. Yep. Supporting him. Oh woe is me, what the hell. Where is my retirement? Where is my partner to help me when I needed? Nowhere. Where is God to help me when I needed? Nowhere.


.I've talked to God till Im blue in the face. I have expressed gratitude. I have expressed anxiety and consternation. I have expressed intentions to carry through on some of my most heartfelt ideas and plans only to have them crash and burn in front of my face.


Nobody has to respond to this stupid thread. In fact, I really don't care. Once I post this am going away anyway. I might come back in a day or 2 to see if anybody cared to even read it. But right now I need to go find a quiet spot, but myself. I'm so tempted to just leave this world. I really am. The only thing keeping here is the love of my family. But what is love when you're living like a pauper, you have nowhere to go, I am old to try and survive anymore?


I used to think positive, felt truly appreciative and happy.

No I don't have a chemical imbalance. No I am not depressed, at least not medically in the sense that somebody would want to put me on meds. I don't want them. I'm depressed because there is no God. I'm depressed because no matter how much effort I put into my endeavors, I am going backwards.


I just needed a place to vent. It doesn't matter whether its this forum or God, I'm going to get the same kind of response. It's all the same.

No pain no gain

I don't get it, I have worked my ass off all my life. I have been thankful. I have appreciated everything in my life that came my way, and I always thought there was a God. I don't know anymore. I actually appreciated the hard times because I knew it would make me grow. I'm tired of growing. I'm tired of fighting. I'm trying to relax, but I can't be at peace. I just want to coast for a while, knowing my bills will be paid and we will have food, and the grandkids can come over and we can go out to dinner and enjoy each other's company. But I can't even afford that. Because after this month, were going to have to get in the government housing or something.

I really don't know anymore.

I don't believe in religion, but I know that there's some kind of a higher source and I think that it just likes to let us think that it cares about us. I think it's just a way for us to keep plugging on and putting out energy to be devoured by it. It gives us enough just to think that it's good, just enough to think that it's there to help and support us. It gives us just enough, and then it takes it all away!

I've gone one step forward 2 steps backwards most of my life. No matter what career or profession I was in I was always just getting by, never could afford to buy a house. Never.

I've had a couple different partners in my life and always ended up supporting them somehow one way or another, and even though that changed about 12 years ago now I'm back to square one. Yep. Supporting him. Oh woe is me, what the hell. Where is my retirement? Where is my partner to help me when I needed? Nowhere. Where is God to help me when I needed? Nowhere.


.I've talked to God till Im blue in the face. I have expressed gratitude. I have expressed anxiety and consternation. I have expressed intentions to carry through on some of my most heartfelt ideas and plans only to have them crash and burn in front of my face.


Nobody has to respond to this stupid thread. In fact, I really don't care. Once I post this am going away anyway. I might come back in a day or 2 to see if anybody cared to even read it. But right now I need to go find a quiet spot, but myself. I'm so tempted to just leave this world. I really am. The only thing keeping here is the love of my family. But what is love when you're living like a pauper, you have nowhere to go, I am old to try and survive anymore?


I used to think positive, felt truly appreciative and happy.

No I don't have a chemical imbalance. No I am not depressed, at least not medically in the sense that somebody would want to put me on meds. I don't want them. I'm depressed because there is no God. I'm depressed because no matter how much effort I put into my endeavors, I am going backwards.


I just needed a place to vent. It doesn't matter whether its this forum or God, I'm going to get the same kind of response. It's all the same.

Ah, we agree there, I think all organized religions are just about control.
You don’t need a church or specific religion.

I don't get it, I have worked my ass off all my life. I have been thankful. I have appreciated everything in my life that came my way, and I always thought there was a God. I don't know anymore. I actually appreciated the hard times because I knew it would make me grow. I'm tired of growing. I'm tired of fighting. I'm trying to relax, but I can't be at peace. I just want to coast for a while, knowing my bills will be paid and we will have food, and the grandkids can come over and we can go out to dinner and enjoy each other's company. But I can't even afford that. Because after this month, were going to have to get in the government housing or something.

I really don't know anymore.

I don't believe in religion, but I know that there's some kind of a higher source and I think that it just likes to let us think that it cares about us. I think it's just a way for us to keep plugging on and putting out energy to be devoured by it. It gives us enough just to think that it's good, just enough to think that it's there to help and support us. It gives us just enough, and then it takes it all away!

I've gone one step forward 2 steps backwards most of my life. No matter what career or profession I was in I was always just getting by, never could afford to buy a house. Never.

I've had a couple different partners in my life and always ended up supporting them somehow one way or another, and even though that changed about 12 years ago now I'm back to square one. Yep. Supporting him. Oh woe is me, what the hell. Where is my retirement? Where is my partner to help me when I needed? Nowhere. Where is God to help me when I needed? Nowhere.


.I've talked to God till Im blue in the face. I have expressed gratitude. I have expressed anxiety and consternation. I have expressed intentions to carry through on some of my most heartfelt ideas and plans only to have them crash and burn in front of my face.


Nobody has to respond to this stupid thread. In fact, I really don't care. Once I post this am going away anyway. I might come back in a day or 2 to see if anybody cared to even read it. But right now I need to go find a quiet spot, but myself. I'm so tempted to just leave this world. I really am. The only thing keeping here is the love of my family. But what is love when you're living like a pauper, you have nowhere to go, I am old to try and survive anymore?


I used to think positive, felt truly appreciative and happy.

No I don't have a chemical imbalance. No I am not depressed, at least not medically in the sense that somebody would want to put me on meds. I don't want them. I'm depressed because there is no God. I'm depressed because no matter how much effort I put into my endeavors, I am going backwards.


I just needed a place to vent. It doesn't matter whether its this forum or God, I'm going to get the same kind of response. It's all the same.

Wrong.
God is the ONLY real thing.

Purpose of this life is to meet God and decide if you want to spend eternity with Him .

God NEVER promised that here on Earth you will have easy life.. in fact if you are Christian you are much more screwed in this life... but thats ok. Jesus promised big reward if we believe in him. Even if someone kills you here then only your body will die. Spirit is eternal.

Jesus is the answer. Believe in Him, believe that His work on the cross washed up all your sins and soon you will be in Heaven.

Earth is ruled by satan and his demons. Soon they will be conquered when Jesus comes again!

Praise the Lord Jesus!!!

Well the good news is that lots of us *cared to read* your post.


It sounds like some good walks/hiking is in order.


:timeforahike:

Many of us get where you are coming from. Your story is the standard and not the deviation. The US has been falling apart morally, socially an economically. i'm 60 and it's only within the last 5 years i've known any security at all.

ask yourself:
have you lived through war?
plague?
famine?
totalitarian government?

Are you:
relatively healthy?
have family?

THose last 2 are the most important. I really hope things turn around for you. We need all the positivity we can get in the world. You can either contribute or be a drain on it.

Hi.

You don't think your time/life matters anymore? Okay.

Begin a serious exercise program for 20 - 30 minutes each day. Have a glass of water with you constantly. If exercising makes you want to grump, do it anyway. Remember, you're not happy anyway so you may as well be not happy and exercise to whatever capacity you can.

Prepare only healthy meals. Be serious about that. Challenge yourself to eat nutritiously on a penny hoarder budget. Take your vitamins.

Dress yourself nicely, wear something you don't ordinarily wear.

Now go somewhere you've never been. There's lots of inexpensive things you can do in your own area. Find one of them an check it out. Go alone or with someone.

Be as nice and considerate to your significant other as you can. Smile at him. Hug him.

Put fresh sheets on your bed. Subsequently, make your bedroom as attractive as you can. Go to bed.

Repeat every day for 5 days.

Now add in straightening up.... whatever, your drawers, your cupboards, wash your car, just do something you can turn around and see at least once each day.

Buy a seed packet or two and start some seeds..


This is what I forced myself to do after a tragic loss in my life. One foot in front of the other to try to build some joy in living. You don't have to wait until you're completely shattered to do it.

'Stick a fork in me' was something my dearest friend and I would say, usually we'd get ourselves howling with laughter. Her sudden death and the loss of my decades of her as my closest friend was what I had to get over, and I had to relearn resourcefulness and resilience as a tribute to her.

God Bless You.

I don't get it, I have worked my ass off all my life. I have been thankful. I have appreciated everything in my life that came my way, and I always thought there was a God. I don't know anymore. I actually appreciated the hard times because I knew it would make me grow. I'm tired of growing. I'm tired of fighting. I'm trying to relax, but I can't be at peace. I just want to coast for a while, knowing my bills will be paid and we will have food, and the grandkids can come over and we can go out to dinner and enjoy each other's company. But I can't even afford that. Because after this month, were going to have to get in the government housing or something.

I really don't know anymore.

I don't believe in religion, but I know that there's some kind of a higher source and I think that it just likes to let us think that it cares about us. I think it's just a way for us to keep plugging on and putting out energy to be devoured by it. It gives us enough just to think that it's good, just enough to think that it's there to help and support us. It gives us just enough, and then it takes it all away!

I've gone one step forward 2 steps backwards most of my life. No matter what career or profession I was in I was always just getting by, never could afford to buy a house. Never.

I've had a couple different partners in my life and always ended up supporting them somehow one way or another, and even though that changed about 12 years ago now I'm back to square one. Yep. Supporting him. Oh woe is me, what the hell. Where is my retirement? Where is my partner to help me when I needed? Nowhere. Where is God to help me when I needed? Nowhere.


.I've talked to God till Im blue in the face. I have expressed gratitude. I have expressed anxiety and consternation. I have expressed intentions to carry through on some of my most heartfelt ideas and plans only to have them crash and burn in front of my face.


Nobody has to respond to this stupid thread. In fact, I really don't care. Once I post this am going away anyway. I might come back in a day or 2 to see if anybody cared to even read it. But right now I need to go find a quiet spot, but myself. I'm so tempted to just leave this world. I really am. The only thing keeping here is the love of my family. But what is love when you're living like a pauper, you have nowhere to go, I am old to try and survive anymore?


I used to think positive, felt truly appreciative and happy.

No I don't have a chemical imbalance. No I am not depressed, at least not medically in the sense that somebody would want to put me on meds. I don't want them. I'm depressed because there is no God. I'm depressed because no matter how much effort I put into my endeavors, I am going backwards.


I just needed a place to vent. It doesn't matter whether its this forum or God, I'm going to get the same kind of response. It's all the same.

I don't get it, I have worked my ass off all my life. I have been thankful. I have appreciated everything in my life that came my way, and I always thought there was a God. I don't know anymore. I actually appreciated the hard times because I knew it would make me grow. I'm tired of growing. I'm tired of fighting. I'm trying to relax, but I can't be at peace. I just want to coast for a while, knowing my bills will be paid and we will have food, and the grandkids can come over and we can go out to dinner and enjoy each other's company. But I can't even afford that. Because after this month, were going to have to get in the government housing or something.

I really don't know anymore.

I don't believe in religion, but I know that there's some kind of a higher source and I think that it just likes to let us think that it cares about us. I think it's just a way for us to keep plugging on and putting out energy to be devoured by it. It gives us enough just to think that it's good, just enough to think that it's there to help and support us. It gives us just enough, and then it takes it all away!

I've gone one step forward 2 steps backwards most of my life. No matter what career or profession I was in I was always just getting by, never could afford to buy a house. Never.

I've had a couple different partners in my life and always ended up supporting them somehow one way or another, and even though that changed about 12 years ago now I'm back to square one. Yep. Supporting him. Oh woe is me, what the hell. Where is my retirement? Where is my partner to help me when I needed? Nowhere. Where is God to help me when I needed? Nowhere.


.I've talked to God till Im blue in the face. I have expressed gratitude. I have expressed anxiety and consternation. I have expressed intentions to carry through on some of my most heartfelt ideas and plans only to have them crash and burn in front of my face.


Nobody has to respond to this stupid thread. In fact, I really don't care. Once I post this am going away anyway. I might come back in a day or 2 to see if anybody cared to even read it. But right now I need to go find a quiet spot, but myself. I'm so tempted to just leave this world. I really am. The only thing keeping here is the love of my family. But what is love when you're living like a pauper, you have nowhere to go, I am old to try and survive anymore?


I used to think positive, felt truly appreciative and happy.

No I don't have a chemical imbalance. No I am not depressed, at least not medically in the sense that somebody would want to put me on meds. I don't want them. I'm depressed because there is no God. I'm depressed because no matter how much effort I put into my endeavors, I am going backwards.


I just needed a place to vent. It doesn't matter whether its this forum or God, I'm going to get the same kind of response. It's all the same.

If anyone wishes to find his life, First, You must do the will of God the father. that requires you to surrender your will in this life.


Than, He will send the spirit of truth teach you all things. after that You are ready to receive the baptism in water and spirit.

Believe me Brethren, just like man must taste of death, also comes judgement. Jesus Christ, Is real and Alive- In my tribulations, Satan slammed me silly (SSS) taking everything from me including health. Now years later Christ revealed Himself thru suffering. IN that, I have victory for endurance patience, and compassion for others.

Ah, we agree there, I think all organized religions are just about control.
You don’t need a church or specific religion.

Many of us get where you are coming from. Your story is the standard and not the deviation. The US has been falling apart morally, socially an economically. i'm 60 and it's only within the last 5 years i've known any security at all.

ask yourself:
have you lived through war?
plague?
famine?
totalitarian government?

Are you:
relatively healthy?
have family?

THose last 2 are the most important. I really hope things turn around for you. We need all the positivity we can get in the world. You can either contribute or be a drain on it.