I'm 36 years old and never had a girlfriend. I'm ugly.

Lower your standards...while you get yourself in better shape. Target fat girls with pretty faces. They are nice to look at from the neck up and a lot of fun in the sack.

Ya gotta start somewhere.

just make sure to keep em fat because if they ever slim down they'll be sure to dump you for someone more attractive.

I'm ugly too and no woman has ever liked me. But I have a few lady friends who like me because I'm a positive person IRL. I've reconciled with never having a relationship because; I don't want one at this period of my life.

I feel sorry for the incels who will never get laid because they want someone who wants them. As opposed to all the married men who settled for a chick who said yes to their proposal.

Married men wish they were single to fuck all the ladies they see.

Incels wished they had a lady to fuck only them.

It seems like no one has really gotten what they want.

I couldn't agree more.I fuck bitches,collect motorcycles,lift weights,collect wine.I wouldn't get married again for no amount of money.Learn to love your own company op.

Beauty is in the eye when you hold her.

Try this: convert to I-slam and get yourself a goatfriend.

The Three Billygoats Gruff



Many years ago, in the Khwarism kingdom, the empire centered around the cities of Samarkand, Bukhara, and Gurgange in the territory now called Uzbekistan, there was a bridge across a narrow section of the Syr Daria river and this bridge was guarded by a troll, named Ali Mohammed Qa-eelbasi. This was before the padishah Mohammed of the Khwarism empire burned the beards off of four of the infidel dog Chengis Khan's ambassadors and Chengis Khan reduced that entire territory to a smoking ruin (may he who cannot take a joke endure Allah's curse).

Now, this Ali Mohammed Qa-eelbasi was quite wealthy by inheritance and by dint of clever investment strategies and stock trading and, having no need of money or wealth beyond his possessions, and being an islamic troll, rather than demanding money from travellers seeking to cross his bridge, was in the habit of demanding various other favors from them.

One morning while Ali Mohammed was guarding his bridge and attempting to catch fish in the Syr Daria, he heard the light clatter of little hooves on the wooden planks of his bridge and looked up to see a little billygoat traipsing across the bridge, trippity, clippity, clippity, trippity, and this little goat (Allah be praised!!) had glossy white fur and flowers in his mane, and was wearing a silk petticoat with what appeared to be lace panties underneath, Ali Mohammed could not be quite certain, and a little training bra from Bloomingdales', and had a coy smile upon his face.

"ALLAH BE PRAISED"!! shouted Ali Mohammed! Surely the faithful shall prosper, this must be my lucky day!!!!

And, the little goat looked at Ali Mohammed, the coy smile still on his lips, and said:


"Verily, I should be happy for you to have your way with me and ravish me to your heart's content but, were you to do that, you would then be too exhausted to appreciate my brother when he passes this way. He is only a short distance behind me and he is a larger, finer and more lovely goat than I; he buys ALL of his clothing from Victoria's Secret."


Now, when Ali Mohammed heard this, he was overcome with passion and desire, and could scarcely restrain himself; nonetheless, he replied: "Go then, with Allah's blessing", and allowed the little goat to cross the bridge unmolested. "I shall (eagerly) await your brother!"

Ali Mohammed went back to his efforts to catch fish and, about a half hour later, he heard a somewhat heavier fall of hooves across the wooden planks of his bridge: clippity cloppity clop, clippity cloppity clop, and Ali Mohammed looked up to a sight which aroused within him a veritable paroxism of passion. This was a larger goat with a gossamer veil over his face, red roses braided into his glossy white silky fur all around, a golden necklace and the thinnest sort of a purple gossamer bodice of finest khitan silk, and dark, brown bedroom eyes.

"ALLAH BE PRAISED!!!" shouted Ali Mohammed, "Verily, this must be the luckiest day of my life, for surely no troll has ever beheld so lovely, and desirable, and alluring a goat as thee!"

"Patience!" replied the goat. "Surely you might have me if you wish, but then you would be too exhausted to appreciate my eldest brother, who travels only a short distance behind me. He is the sexiest and most voluptuous and alluring goat in all the world, and he buys ALL of his clothing at Sexy Sadies Midnight Boutique. Verily, were he standing here beside me, you would not notice me at all!"

Ali Mohammed somehow or other managed to restrain his lust and passion and allowed this goat to pass as well and, after ten or twelve minutes when he collected his wits and got his pulse and breath back under control, returned to his fishing poles.

Now when the eldest brother amongst the three goats came up to the bridge over the Syr Daria river and walked upon its wooden planks, Ali Mohammed did not notice at first, because this goat's hooves, for some reason, made no noise. Ali Mohammed was in fact taken by complete surprise as this third goat walked up to within five feet before the troll ever saw him at all. This goat had a silken veil as did the second goat, and gossamer clothing but, underneath the gossamer, appeared to be a very strange goat indeed, yellowish with black stripes, a long tail, fearsome claws, and huge, very non-goatlike teeth. This third goat spoke these words:


Bless, O Lord, this food to my use and me to thy service, and make me ever mindful of the needs of others through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.


and, with that, seized the unlucky troll in his mighty jaws, chewed him into bite-sized pieces, and wolfed him down.

====================================

Or you could find yourself a Somali girlfriend:



Last Edited by Icebear on 01/26/2020 10:10 AM

Every one has a mate. Your star will shine when you most need it, when the gal of your dreams let's you know.

lucky you, simple life, no drama

I hope you took the time saved to get rich so you can buy one.

Sounds like he has time to make money!

As if I’d allow my picture to be taken.

WTF!!!

You mean a mentally deranged left wing nutjob with more back hair than a greek fisherman... and body odour to match.

i bang a 9 in florida east coast $200 75 for the room best money ever spent.

fixed

Go to a rich zip code, find bank, find trash can near ATM, fish out receipt with a lot of zeros, write your # on receipt when you give number to targeted lady, repeat if necessary, like fishing only creepy...