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For you parents on here let me ask you a question???

 
No Pressure
User ID: 76095568
United States
02/14/2020 09:40 AM
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For you parents on here let me ask you a question???
Not condemning

Just want to understand

What does that mean when you say

“Having children changes you”

Every parent says it

Usually when they want to justify tyranny or bullshit

Please help me understand.....

Thank you in advance
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 45008604
United Kingdom
02/14/2020 09:43 AM
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Re: For you parents on here let me ask you a question???
Well, it does change you. In many ways. You have to grow up and become more responsible for your kid's lives as well as your own. Parenting isn't easy but as l9ng as you try your best, it's worth it.
Icey

User ID: 77119763
United States
02/14/2020 09:47 AM

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Re: For you parents on here let me ask you a question???
Unconditional love.
I am SNOWIE. WELCOME TO THE NEW ICE AGE. TRY NOT TO STARVE.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 75267417
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02/14/2020 09:48 AM
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Re: For you parents on here let me ask you a question???
While it may be true, it's more often used to make non-parental people feel incomplete or to elevate the speaker above the audience.

It's a verbal pat on the head. Condescending.
Anonymous Coward
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02/14/2020 09:50 AM
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Re: For you parents on here let me ask you a question???
You cannot be self centered anymore. At least a good parent shouldn’t be. It’s a total wake up call when you are totally responsible for another life. One that you would give your life for.
Jenny222

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02/14/2020 09:50 AM
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Re: For you parents on here let me ask you a question???
I didn’t know what Love was until I had a child.
That changes you, when you would take a bullet without question to protect your children, there is no love like that. Ever.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 78060222
Canada
02/14/2020 09:52 AM
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Re: For you parents on here let me ask you a question???
Not condemning

Just want to understand

What does that mean when you say

“Having children changes you”

Every parent says it

Usually when they want to justify tyranny or bullshit

Please help me understand.....

Thank you in advance
 Quoting: No Pressure 76095568


You love someone more than yourself

Your entire perspective changes

Every decision you make isn't just going to affect you, it's going to affect your child/children
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 78476983
Netherlands
02/14/2020 09:54 AM
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Re: For you parents on here let me ask you a question???
I never forget the snails laying eggs... It was pretty cewl
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 45008604
United Kingdom
02/14/2020 09:54 AM
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Re: For you parents on here let me ask you a question???
My mother always said to me, when your child's life begins, yours as you knew it, ends.

Meaning, you focus on growing up, taking responsibility, put your child's wellbeing before your own, even. Everything in life revolves around that little life that you've just brought into this world, at that point.
@MoonPie

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United States
02/14/2020 09:56 AM

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Re: For you parents on here let me ask you a question???
You're not your center of the world anymore. They are. (Apart from the Almighty.)

Last Edited by @MoonPie on 02/14/2020 09:56 AM
“Shallow men believe in luck or in circumstance. Strong men believe in cause and effect.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
Philly Special

User ID: 48696927
United States
02/14/2020 09:58 AM
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Re: For you parents on here let me ask you a question???
While it may be true, it's more often used to make non-parental people feel incomplete or to elevate the speaker above the audience.

It's a verbal pat on the head. Condescending.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 75267417
I find more often that it's the non-parents who love to butt in with their own opinions about how people should raise their kids and other judgmental shit. Which usually draws the "you wouldn't understand, having a kid changes how you see/do things", which usually gets a response of "I don't have to be a parent to have an opinion".

People are allowed their opinions, but don't act like some kind of authority on something that you haven't experienced.

Also of note, there are a lot of really bad parents out there. Being a parent makes you the authority on your kids, and that's it. Doesn't make you a good parent. Doesn't mean you know more than anyone else.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 77820133
United States
02/14/2020 10:11 AM
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Re: For you parents on here let me ask you a question???
Responsibility, patience, on and on. Not something that an average single person has on his mind.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 56578585
United Kingdom
02/14/2020 10:39 AM
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Re: For you parents on here let me ask you a question???
I didn’t know what Love was until I had a child.
That changes you, when you would take a bullet without question to protect your children, there is no love like that. Ever.
 Quoting: Jenny222


Yes, absolutely this.

From the proactive perspective I was always prepared to kill to protect my kids. I mean literally. Yet I loathe violence, this is a profoundly instinctive thing, logic and ethics aren't in it.

My son became a father not long ago. He held her seconds after she was born. He told me he was instantaneously hit by a massive surge of a ferocious protection feeling for her. I guess that means he would kill to protect her too.

Most normal parents would risk everything to protect and care for their children. Completely selflessly. You don't know the meaning of responsibility until your kids are born.

Most, though not all, childless people live their lives in a sort of extended adolescence, a self-orientated, pleasure-seeking bubble.

Childless people cannot possibly understand what it's like to be a parent.

We are two different species.
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 76095568
United States
02/14/2020 10:41 AM
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Re: For you parents on here let me ask you a question???
Well, it does change you. In many ways. You have to grow up and become more responsible for your kid's lives as well as your own. Parenting isn't easy but as l9ng as you try your best, it's worth it.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 45008604


Understood
Anonymous Coward
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02/14/2020 10:43 AM
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Re: For you parents on here let me ask you a question???
You become selfless. You keep on giving even though you may not be given anything in return.
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 76095568
United States
02/14/2020 10:44 AM
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Re: For you parents on here let me ask you a question???
Thank you for multiple responses

I will read them thoroughly
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 76095568
United States
02/14/2020 10:44 AM
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Re: For you parents on here let me ask you a question???
You become selfless. You keep on giving even though you may not be given anything in return.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 78008605


Understood
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 76095568
United States
02/14/2020 10:45 AM
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Re: For you parents on here let me ask you a question???
I didn’t know what Love was until I had a child.
That changes you, when you would take a bullet without question to protect your children, there is no love like that. Ever.
 Quoting: Jenny222


Yes, absolutely this.

From the proactive perspective I was always prepared to kill to protect my kids. I mean literally. Yet I loathe violence, this is a profoundly instinctive thing, logic and ethics aren't in it.

My son became a father not long ago. He held her seconds after she was born. He told me he was instantaneously hit by a massive surge of a ferocious protection feeling for her. I guess that means he would kill to protect her too.

Most normal parents would risk everything to protect and care for their children. Completely selflessly. You don't know the meaning of responsibility until your kids are born.

Most, though not all, childless people live their lives in a sort of extended adolescence, a self-orientated, pleasure-seeking bubble.

Childless people cannot possibly understand what it's like to be a parent.

We are two different species.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 56578585


Understand that also

I completely agree
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 73057099
United States
02/14/2020 10:48 AM
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Re: For you parents on here let me ask you a question???
They teach you true love. In return you teach them true love. As a parent of 2, the moment I heard my daughters being born everything changed. U feel something inside you that most won't get the chance to truly experience.
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 76095568
United States
02/14/2020 10:48 AM
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Re: For you parents on here let me ask you a question???
While it may be true, it's more often used to make non-parental people feel incomplete or to elevate the speaker above the audience.

It's a verbal pat on the head. Condescending.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 75267417
I find more often that it's the non-parents who love to butt in with their own opinions about how people should raise their kids and other judgmental shit. Which usually draws the "you wouldn't understand, having a kid changes how you see/do things", which usually gets a response of "I don't have to be a parent to have an opinion".

People are allowed their opinions, but don't act like some kind of authority on something that you haven't experienced.

Also of note, there are a lot of really bad parents out there. Being a parent makes you the authority on your kids, and that's it. Doesn't make you a good parent. Doesn't mean you know more than anyone else.
 Quoting: Philly Special


That’s exactly the point I’m making

Sometimes

Sometimes

Grown ups hide behind their kids

Or justify stupid shit in the name of protecting children

But I understand all of your points also
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 75267417
United States
02/14/2020 10:52 AM
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Re: For you parents on here let me ask you a question???
While it may be true, it's more often used to make non-parental people feel incomplete or to elevate the speaker above the audience.

It's a verbal pat on the head. Condescending.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 75267417
I find more often that it's the non-parents who love to butt in with their own opinions about how people should raise their kids and other judgmental shit. Which usually draws the "you wouldn't understand, having a kid changes how you see/do things", which usually gets a response of "I don't have to be a parent to have an opinion".

People are allowed their opinions, but don't act like some kind of authority on something that you haven't experienced.

Also of note, there are a lot of really bad parents out there. Being a parent makes you the authority on your kids, and that's it. Doesn't make you a good parent. Doesn't mean you know more than anyone else.
 Quoting: Philly Special

All very true.

Widely speaking, people these days only needs 1% expertise to act as if they're 90% expert on the topic.

I call it Internet Bias; where everyone gets a voice and opinions aren't solicited as much as they're thrown in your face.

Great post.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 67148964
Australia
02/14/2020 10:53 AM
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Re: For you parents on here let me ask you a question???
You look at the innocent child and realise it is no different from yourself or anyone else. You realise that we were all in that beautiful clean slate once and that it is our interactions and our environment that mould our core. beliefs.

You see the animal in yourself And know how it can overrides you. You know that if you don’t guide them away from it , they will loose themselves and be comsumed by it, without a care for anyone in their path. That not who I am and that’s not who I raise.
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 76095568
United States
02/14/2020 10:58 AM
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Re: For you parents on here let me ask you a question???
You look at the innocent child and realise it is no different from yourself or anyone else. You realise that we were all in that beautiful clean slate once and that it is our interactions and our environment that mould our core. beliefs.

You see the animal in yourself And know how it can overrides you. You know that if you don’t guide them away from it , they will loose themselves and be comsumed by it, without a care for anyone in their path. That not who I am and that’s not who I raise.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 67148964


Understood
Colour Crusader

User ID: 78410550
Germany
02/14/2020 10:59 AM

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Re: For you parents on here let me ask you a question???
Thank you for your thread, OP.

In having a child, we are forced to reflect on so many things; on how we were brought up ourselves; on what aspects of our childhood we appreciated, and what we did not not; on how our parents treated us when we were little; on how dedicated they were; on their strategies for dealing with stressful situations like illness or tiredness; on whether they had difficulties coping with being responsible 24/7; on whether our parents' response to us was as fast as our response to our own children; on whether we emulated our parents and did what they wished; on what principles we wish to pass on to our children; on what our parents might have "sacrificed" in order to raise us; on behavioral patterns which we learnt as a child to survive in certain situations, but which are longer longer relevant now as an adult.

In short, having a child furthers self-reflection in a huge way, which in turn furthers our spiritual growth. There is no getting away from it either. Even when we have "breaks", our thoughts are always with our children. Even when they are out of the house, we still think about our children and jump in and advise them if need be.

It is a very, very long comittment. Similar experiences can also be had if looking after an elderly parent or caring for animals on a daily basis.

Raising a child is one of the most tiring and most rewarding things one can do. It is a very important task - perhaps THE most important task, as it sets the tone for future generations.

Not condemning

Just want to understand

What does that mean when you say

“Having children changes you”

Every parent says it

Usually when they want to justify tyranny or bullshit

Please help me understand.....

Thank you in advance
 Quoting: No Pressure 76095568

Colour Crusader: may we fill the world with vibrant colour, constant critical assessment and deep compassion, moving ever forward towards a paradise of our own creating

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Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 76095568
United States
02/14/2020 11:08 AM
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Re: For you parents on here let me ask you a question???
Thank you for your thread, OP.

In having a child, we are forced to reflect on so many things; on how we were brought up ourselves; on what aspects of our childhood we appreciated, and what we did not not; on how our parents treated us when we were little; on how dedicated they were; on their strategies for dealing with stressful situations like illness or tiredness; on whether they had difficulties coping with being responsible 24/7; on whether our parents' response to us was as fast as our response to our own children; on whether we emulated our parents and did what they wished; on what principles we wish to pass on to our children; on what our parents might have "sacrificed" in order to raise us; on behavioral patterns which we learnt as a child to survive in certain situations, but which are longer longer relevant now as an adult.

In short, having a child furthers self-reflection in a huge way, which in turn furthers our spiritual growth. There is no getting away from it either. Even when we have "breaks", our thoughts are always with our children. Even when they are out of the house, we still think about our children and jump in and advise them if need be.

It is a very, very long comittment. Similar experiences can also be had if looking after an elderly parent or caring for animals on a daily basis.

Raising a child is one of the most tiring and most rewarding things one can do. It is a very important task - perhaps THE most important task, as it sets the tone for future generations.

Not condemning

Just want to understand

What does that mean when you say

“Having children changes you”

Every parent says it

Usually when they want to justify tyranny or bullshit

Please help me understand.....

Thank you in advance
 Quoting: No Pressure 76095568

 Quoting: Colour Crusader



I appreciate all your responses

Let me just ask the world

Please

Don’t hide behind your children

God bless you all
Too Dark Park™ Two
Bound for the Boonies

User ID: 74739218
United States
02/14/2020 11:13 AM

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Re: For you parents on here let me ask you a question???
You cannot be self centered anymore. At least a good parent shouldn’t be. It’s a total wake up call when you are totally responsible for another life. One that you would give your life for.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 76984449




Well said.
Disclaimer: not a dude. I've tits and a ladyboner.



Doped up on drugs, believing themselves invulnerable, they marched into a massacre...



rockon
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 76095568
United States
02/14/2020 11:16 AM
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Re: For you parents on here let me ask you a question???
I appreciate heart felt responses

Thank you again
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 73656735
United States
02/14/2020 11:17 AM
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Re: For you parents on here let me ask you a question???
Not condemning

Just want to understand

What does that mean when you say

“Having children changes you”

Every parent says it

Usually when they want to justify tyranny or bullshit

Please help me understand.....

Thank you in advance
 Quoting: No Pressure 76095568


Vladimir, go jerk Dave off again.
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 76095568
United States
02/14/2020 11:18 AM
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Re: For you parents on here let me ask you a question???
Not condemning

Just want to understand

What does that mean when you say

“Having children changes you”

Every parent says it

Usually when they want to justify tyranny or bullshit

Please help me understand.....

Thank you in advance
 Quoting: No Pressure 76095568


Vladimir, go jerk Dave off again.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 73656735


You first loser

Have a great day
Stella Blue
User ID: 78084014
United States
02/14/2020 11:22 AM
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Re: For you parents on here let me ask you a question???
Everyone else has already said it so well.

The highest calling is raising kids to not become idiotic selfish a-holes.

It's the most important job ever and good parents gladly sacrifice everything to do so
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 73656735
United States
02/14/2020 11:24 AM
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Re: For you parents on here let me ask you a question???
Not condemning

Just want to understand

What does that mean when you say

“Having children changes you”

Every parent says it

Usually when they want to justify tyranny or bullshit

Please help me understand.....

Thank you in advance
 Quoting: No Pressure 76095568


Vladimir, go jerk Dave off again.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 73656735


You first loser

Have a great day
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 76095568


I am sick of Dave and Vladimir.





GLP