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Thread for Prissy Preppers!!

 
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 78474764
Canada
02/21/2020 06:30 AM
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Re: Thread for Prissy Preppers!!
I have a coat with "GLP" on it.

(I'm NOT kidding)


rose
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 78474764


Do you have a pic? It's a great idea, actually.
 Quoting: 88


I think you can view it here...
[link to imgur.com (secure)]

If not, let me know.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 78474764


Love that!! Should have them made to sell to us GLPers
 Quoting: 88


It would be hard to miss... IF you were another glper' :-)
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 77945104
United States
02/21/2020 06:34 AM
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Re: Thread for Prissy Preppers!!
clappa
Trained Noticer

User ID: 76014573
United States
02/21/2020 06:35 AM

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Re: Thread for Prissy Preppers!!
7-20 stars
For those who believe, no proof is necessary. For those who don't believe, no proof is possible. (Stuart Chase)
PixieCat

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United States
02/21/2020 06:44 AM
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Re: Thread for Prissy Preppers!!
And don't forget to stock up on Miracle Grow for your tomato plants since they'll be inside.
cebu4u
User ID: 77759069
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02/21/2020 06:45 AM
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Re: Thread for Prissy Preppers!!
If you're a female and are like me and not very handy, here are some things I've come up with since I can't sleep. This thread is somewhat of a jest (making fun of myself) but also a few good things to think about.

-Stock up on coffee.. pods, bags, anything you can get your hands on. At the least, get a French Press, and even an air pot in case you have to travel and your local Dunkins is closed (and employees probably have the virus anyway).

-If you have kids, buy next year's winter clothes now on clearance in bigger sizes to accommodate their growth.

-Buy clothes in smaller sizes since you'll lose weight from starvation and running from crazy people trying to get your coffee. Or purchase belts. One does not want to have plumbers butt while trying to survive Armageddon.

-Buy to-go cups with lids for coffee. And other drinks. Disposable ones so you don't have to wash and waste water. Get the foam ones since no once will care about the environment anymore and your coffee will stay hotter longer.

-Fill your propane tanks for gas grill. Get extras. I actually can't do this myself because I'm a weak female so will have the hubby do it.

-Buy your hair color and mascara now. You don't want your partner to know how old you TRULY look or he'll trade you for food or beer. Or, don't color hair or wear makeup so when it goes Mad Max you'll be looked over and no one will want to steal you.

-Curly hair will be "in" again if the power goes out for any length of time. Stock up on gel or mousse.

-Stock up on pony tail elastics to put hair up while sweating from foraging.

-Stock up on your favorite alcohol for yourself while also stocking up on beer and spirits in case you need a favor from a man (turning on gas grill, wood cutting, figuring out how to light a fire) (yep, I'm screwed if the hubby gets this thing).

-Groom pets now, possibly shave them, so it's easier to take care of when the groomer gets sick. Keep their fur for stuffing pillows (see "sewing" below).

-Write down all the contacts in your phone, including CDC and other "authorities" so you can yell at them that they really screwed up on this one. Tell them during the next worldwide culling that they should be more organized.

-Buy stamps in case you need to send a letter to your bff venting about how the hubby ALREADY ate the stash of Reeses you stored when our phones don't work. Samsung users who received a "1" possibly most at risk of signal loss.

-If you're uncomfortable with guns, go to your local hardware store and purchase hammers, sickles, nail gun, etc then buy some baseball bats for protection. Even baseballs if you have a good arm and think you can knock out a person in one throw as to not waste your baseball ammo. Look at your kid's and hubby's sports supply for further ideas.

-Use volleyball net to wrap up any intruders or people you've culled. This will attract animals that you can knock out with baseball and keep as a pet if they're cute. Skunks are probably your best bet to keep other people away. Woodchucks also cute and can dig big holes like nobody's business. Use as a cave.

-When fishing, I've been told corn can sometimes work if you get icked out by earthworms. Also, buy a fishing pole and learn how to cast without getting the hook caught in your hair (see above for pony tail elastics).

-Buy lots of bug spray for when the kids go outside because their electronics aren't working.

-Make sure to have food & blankets if you own a boat for when you live on it. If no boat, stock up on the biggest blow-up floats you can find. See sunscreen above; the end of the world doesn't mean you need to age. People will remark how the caretakers "did a nice job" on you while looking at your casket. No one needs to know you used sunscreen and that's truly the reason why you look so good.

-Buy a basketball to draw a face on to make a friend in case you end up alone. Feel free to name him "Neworldorder" and bounce, kick, pop him with furious force.

-For Vintage/Goodwill/Thrift lovers: Gather up all your collections of silver-plated serve ware that you have in your basement in a box that you intended to use for the fancy party you're planning in your head to have one day to barter with. Surely it can be melted down somehow.

-Go Female Astronaut and purchase Depends or the likewise in case you feel uncomfortable peeing outside or don't have time to stop running from mob trying to get your coffee.

-If you can sew you'll be worth gold. Be sure to have thread and sewing needles of all types. Learn how to sew masks, diapers and body bags. If you're a knitter, start knitting blankets.

-Purchase clearance Valentine's candy for barter.

-For when the power goes out: Purchase puzzles and games. Left/Right/Center is a good game as well as Cards Against Humanity. No batteries needed.

-Buy batteries.

-Write "GLP" on your forehead in hopes to find other GLPers. Offer them a cup of coffee ;).

A silly little thread to take the angst off this virus for a bit.
hf



-
 Quoting: 88


epic. hilarious! are you also Canadian? can we be friends?

hf
Legna Angel

User ID: 76502049
United States
02/21/2020 06:45 AM
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Re: Thread for Prissy Preppers!!
god what a mess lmao

if I seen you in the woods I would run chuckle
My two cents,

It’s been Real, it’s been Nice, but I can’t say it’s been Real Nice! :anon:

#TRUMP2020
cebu4u
User ID: 77759069
Canada
02/21/2020 06:46 AM
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Re: Thread for Prissy Preppers!!
And don't forget to stock up on Miracle Grow for your tomato plants since they'll be inside.
 Quoting: PixieCat


you can make your own miracle grow with used coffee grinds, sugar and ground egg shells!
dodger007

User ID: 77690112
United States
02/21/2020 06:48 AM

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Re: Thread for Prissy Preppers!!
boom33
China is Asshoe!
dodger007
Deplorable Princess

User ID: 77030913
United States
02/21/2020 06:53 AM
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Re: Thread for Prissy Preppers!!
I have a coat with "GLP" on it.

(I'm NOT kidding)


rose
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 78474764


Do you have a pic? It's a great idea, actually.
 Quoting: 88


I think you can view it here...
[link to imgur.com (secure)]

If not, let me know.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 78474764


Awesome
Some of you people have WEIRD conversations with your imaginary friends.
granny2

User ID: 71641039
United States
02/21/2020 06:55 AM
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Re: Thread for Prissy Preppers!!
That was so funny!! Thanks for sharing!
Deplorable Princess

User ID: 77030913
United States
02/21/2020 06:55 AM
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Re: Thread for Prissy Preppers!!
Lets not forget our nails - Clear nail polish - Just a drop can also be used to start fires
Some of you people have WEIRD conversations with your imaginary friends.
kargatane

User ID: 71928942
United States
02/21/2020 06:57 AM
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Re: Thread for Prissy Preppers!!
WTF.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 59029940


I'm sorry, are you offended?? I think this is my 2nd thread ever, lol. Just being silly.
 Quoting: 88


Hardly offended. I mean it's mildly amusing, but when so many are trying to provide useful information, it seems odd. Only 2% identify as bushcraft, homesteader, prepper folks. This equates to massive carnage, starvation, dehydratin, sickness, etc in a global pandemic. Joking will dissuade many to prepare.

It's the opposite of the desired effect.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 59029940


Lighten up Francis
MissCleo

User ID: 77082640
United States
02/21/2020 06:58 AM

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Re: Thread for Prissy Preppers!!
Tub and washboard.
Outdoor showerhead that connects to hose.
Firewood and grate for outdoor firepit.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 59029940
United States
02/21/2020 07:04 AM
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Re: Thread for Prissy Preppers!!
WTF.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 59029940


I'm sorry, are you offended?? I think this is my 2nd thread ever, lol. Just being silly.
 Quoting: 88


Hardly offended. I mean it's mildly amusing, but when so many are trying to provide useful information, it seems odd. Only 2% identify as bushcraft, homesteader, prepper folks. This equates to massive carnage, starvation, dehydratin, sickness, etc in a global pandemic. Joking will dissuade many to prepare.

It's the opposite of the desired effect.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 59029940


Lighten up Francis
 Quoting: kargatane


WTF.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 59029940


I'm sorry, are you offended?? I think this is my 2nd thread ever, lol. Just being silly.
 Quoting: 88


Hardly offended. I mean it's mildly amusing, but when so many are trying to provide useful information, it seems odd. Only 2% identify as bushcraft, homesteader, prepper folks. This equates to massive carnage, starvation, dehydratin, sickness, etc in a global pandemic. Joking will dissuade many to prepare.

It's the opposite of the desired effect.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 59029940


Lighten up Francis
 Quoting: kargatane


I said it was mildly amusing. When you are starving and dehydrated, while I am not, well, maybe it won't be amusing anymore.
dodger007

User ID: 77690112
United States
02/21/2020 07:07 AM

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Re: Thread for Prissy Preppers!!
...


I'm sorry, are you offended?? I think this is my 2nd thread ever, lol. Just being silly.
 Quoting: 88


Hardly offended. I mean it's mildly amusing, but when so many are trying to provide useful information, it seems odd. Only 2% identify as bushcraft, homesteader, prepper folks. This equates to massive carnage, starvation, dehydratin, sickness, etc in a global pandemic. Joking will dissuade many to prepare.

It's the opposite of the desired effect.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 59029940


Lighten up Francis
 Quoting: kargatane


...


I'm sorry, are you offended?? I think this is my 2nd thread ever, lol. Just being silly.
 Quoting: 88


Hardly offended. I mean it's mildly amusing, but when so many are trying to provide useful information, it seems odd. Only 2% identify as bushcraft, homesteader, prepper folks. This equates to massive carnage, starvation, dehydratin, sickness, etc in a global pandemic. Joking will dissuade many to prepare.

It's the opposite of the desired effect.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 59029940


Lighten up Francis
 Quoting: kargatane


I said it was mildly amusing. When you are starving and dehydrated, while I am not, well, maybe it won't be amusing anymore.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 59029940


angryface
China is Asshoe!
dodger007
88  (OP)

User ID: 76930440
Canada
02/21/2020 07:08 AM
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Re: Thread for Prissy Preppers!!
If you're a female and are like me and not very handy, here are some things I've come up with since I can't sleep. This thread is somewhat of a jest (making fun of myself) but also a few good things to think about.

-Stock up on coffee.. pods, bags, anything you can get your hands on. At the least, get a French Press, and even an air pot in case you have to travel and your local Dunkins is closed (and employees probably have the virus anyway).

-If you have kids, buy next year's winter clothes now on clearance in bigger sizes to accommodate their growth.

-Buy clothes in smaller sizes since you'll lose weight from starvation and running from crazy people trying to get your coffee. Or purchase belts. One does not want to have plumbers butt while trying to survive Armageddon.

-Buy to-go cups with lids for coffee. And other drinks. Disposable ones so you don't have to wash and waste water. Get the foam ones since no once will care about the environment anymore and your coffee will stay hotter longer.

-Fill your propane tanks for gas grill. Get extras. I actually can't do this myself because I'm a weak female so will have the hubby do it.

-Buy your hair color and mascara now. You don't want your partner to know how old you TRULY look or he'll trade you for food or beer. Or, don't color hair or wear makeup so when it goes Mad Max you'll be looked over and no one will want to steal you.

-Curly hair will be "in" again if the power goes out for any length of time. Stock up on gel or mousse.

-Stock up on pony tail elastics to put hair up while sweating from foraging.

-Stock up on your favorite alcohol for yourself while also stocking up on beer and spirits in case you need a favor from a man (turning on gas grill, wood cutting, figuring out how to light a fire) (yep, I'm screwed if the hubby gets this thing).

-Groom pets now, possibly shave them, so it's easier to take care of when the groomer gets sick. Keep their fur for stuffing pillows (see "sewing" below).

-Write down all the contacts in your phone, including CDC and other "authorities" so you can yell at them that they really screwed up on this one. Tell them during the next worldwide culling that they should be more organized.

-Buy stamps in case you need to send a letter to your bff venting about how the hubby ALREADY ate the stash of Reeses you stored when our phones don't work. Samsung users who received a "1" possibly most at risk of signal loss.

-If you're uncomfortable with guns, go to your local hardware store and purchase hammers, sickles, nail gun, etc then buy some baseball bats for protection. Even baseballs if you have a good arm and think you can knock out a person in one throw as to not waste your baseball ammo. Look at your kid's and hubby's sports supply for further ideas.

-Use volleyball net to wrap up any intruders or people you've culled. This will attract animals that you can knock out with baseball and keep as a pet if they're cute. Skunks are probably your best bet to keep other people away. Woodchucks also cute and can dig big holes like nobody's business. Use as a cave.

-When fishing, I've been told corn can sometimes work if you get icked out by earthworms. Also, buy a fishing pole and learn how to cast without getting the hook caught in your hair (see above for pony tail elastics).

-Buy lots of bug spray for when the kids go outside because their electronics aren't working.

-Make sure to have food & blankets if you own a boat for when you live on it. If no boat, stock up on the biggest blow-up floats you can find. See sunscreen above; the end of the world doesn't mean you need to age. People will remark how the caretakers "did a nice job" on you while looking at your casket. No one needs to know you used sunscreen and that's truly the reason why you look so good.

-Buy a basketball to draw a face on to make a friend in case you end up alone. Feel free to name him "Neworldorder" and bounce, kick, pop him with furious force.

-For Vintage/Goodwill/Thrift lovers: Gather up all your collections of silver-plated serve ware that you have in your basement in a box that you intended to use for the fancy party you're planning in your head to have one day to barter with. Surely it can be melted down somehow.

-Go Female Astronaut and purchase Depends or the likewise in case you feel uncomfortable peeing outside or don't have time to stop running from mob trying to get your coffee.

-If you can sew you'll be worth gold. Be sure to have thread and sewing needles of all types. Learn how to sew masks, diapers and body bags. If you're a knitter, start knitting blankets.

-Purchase clearance Valentine's candy for barter.

-For when the power goes out: Purchase puzzles and games. Left/Right/Center is a good game as well as Cards Against Humanity. No batteries needed.

-Buy batteries.

-Write "GLP" on your forehead in hopes to find other GLPers. Offer them a cup of coffee ;).

A silly little thread to take the angst off this virus for a bit.
hf



-
 Quoting: 88


epic. hilarious! are you also Canadian? can we be friends?

hf
 Quoting: cebu4u 77759069


Thank you! I'd love to be your friend. I'm actually in the US, not sure why it says Canada. I'm close to Canada, tho! New Hampshire. Quebec is 3 hours away from me :).
88  (OP)

User ID: 76930440
Canada
02/21/2020 07:09 AM
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Re: Thread for Prissy Preppers!!
Tub and washboard.
Outdoor showerhead that connects to hose.
Firewood and grate for outdoor firepit.
 Quoting: MissCleo


Great ideas!! Didn't think of those!!
88  (OP)

User ID: 76930440
Canada
02/21/2020 07:10 AM
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Re: Thread for Prissy Preppers!!
Thank you for the Pin!! My first one!!

hf
Legna Angel

User ID: 76502049
United States
02/21/2020 07:11 AM
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Re: Thread for Prissy Preppers!!
Thank you for the Pin!! My first one!!

hf
 Quoting: 88


Congrats hf
My two cents,

It’s been Real, it’s been Nice, but I can’t say it’s been Real Nice! :anon:

#TRUMP2020
88  (OP)

User ID: 76930440
Canada
02/21/2020 07:11 AM
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Re: Thread for Prissy Preppers!!
And don't forget to stock up on Miracle Grow for your tomato plants since they'll be inside.
 Quoting: PixieCat


ohyeah
88  (OP)

User ID: 76930440
Canada
02/21/2020 07:13 AM
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Re: Thread for Prissy Preppers!!
god what a mess lmao

if I seen you in the woods I would run chuckle
 Quoting: Legna Angel


Ha ha! I am a mess! But I can put some pretty flowers together (floral designer here) lol.
88  (OP)

User ID: 76930440
Canada
02/21/2020 07:13 AM
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Re: Thread for Prissy Preppers!!
And don't forget to stock up on Miracle Grow for your tomato plants since they'll be inside.
 Quoting: PixieCat


you can make your own miracle grow with used coffee grinds, sugar and ground egg shells!
 Quoting: cebu4u 77759069


Good to know!!
88  (OP)

User ID: 76930440
Canada
02/21/2020 07:18 AM
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Re: Thread for Prissy Preppers!!
That was so funny!! Thanks for sharing!
 Quoting: granny2


Thank you Granny :)
88  (OP)

User ID: 76930440
Canada
02/21/2020 07:19 AM
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Re: Thread for Prissy Preppers!!
Lets not forget our nails - Clear nail polish - Just a drop can also be used to start fires
 Quoting: Deplorable Princess


Oh yes!! Forgot the nails! Good to know clear polish can start fires!! I may need to get some pointy acrylics to scratch people away lol.
boc
User ID: 78022023
United States
02/21/2020 07:26 AM
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Re: Thread for Prissy Preppers!!
oh my god GLP now get your bare feet ready cause your gonna be traveling around in your flintstone car
Black Unit

User ID: 77896440
United States
02/21/2020 07:27 AM
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Re: Thread for Prissy Preppers!!
Thank you, OP. My wife and I think you are awesome.

Check out my thread from a few weeks ago. Similar content

Thread: HOW TO PREPARE your home for a quarantine - Prepper Edition.

I wish you and your family well in what’s to come.

hfhfyoda
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 74483521
United States
02/21/2020 07:32 AM
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Re: Thread for Prissy Preppers!!
For all you men knocking this list, the women in your life may be more on board with your prepping if you incorporate some of these suggestions! Whose bunker do you think they’ll leave you for when resources get tight? Small comforts will pay dividend, and for those who couldn’t score a woman during peace times, a girl friendly bunker could make you the Hugh Hefner of armageddon. bananabananasexbanana
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 78328026
Belgium
02/21/2020 07:39 AM
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Re: Thread for Prissy Preppers!!
:billlaugh:
 Quoting: Chip


Puzzles and games :) And clothes for next year ...
Allow me to enlighten you.

Hmm if it is survival time the only thing u get to take is a backpack. Not 10 suitcases. And be sure to have it as lightweight as possible.

If you have to stay inside for quarantine make sure you have enough garbage bags and mask for when u have to come out u can protect yourself. A pressure suit would be the best. 0 chance of contamination. That way you can get the stuff you need.

Create an airlock in your house with decontamination part as the virus can stick on your suit.

UV al the stuff you bring in new. And if possible use other disinfectant method with isopropanol (dnnw how you call that in the US).

And you should be able to ride this out. if chaos comes due to civil unrest be sure to get off your ass and to a low populated area.
Yellow Bird in TX

User ID: 1487592
United States
02/21/2020 07:52 AM
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Re: Thread for Prissy Preppers!!
This thread is outstanding. You are so funny. Thanks for the humor. I am going to share this and post it on my FB page. Also many of the replies are a real hoot too. Thanks for the laughs. We all need that.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 78492845
United States
02/21/2020 07:52 AM
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Re: Thread for Prissy Preppers!!
Prepare your Pussy !!!





GLP