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Thread for Prissy Preppers!!

 
M R E

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02/21/2020 07:58 AM

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Re: Thread for Prissy Preppers!!
peace
would rather have it & not need it then need it & not have it
Anonymous Coward
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02/21/2020 08:04 AM
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Re: Thread for Prissy Preppers!!
Great post!

Although satirical (from a man’s point of view), you made an excellent point that I hadn’t thought of:

WRITE DOWN all contacts names and numbers on paper.


.
 Quoting: Zovalex


Thank you Zovalex! I'm glad I helped you think of something you hadn't thought of. I realized I don't know anyone's phone numbers anymore so will be writing my contacts down soon.

hf
 Quoting: 88


Ya all think the phones are still going to work when the SHTF?
Anonymous Coward
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02/21/2020 08:10 AM
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Re: Thread for Prissy Preppers!!
Great post!

Although satirical (from a man’s point of view), you made an excellent point that I hadn’t thought of:

WRITE DOWN all contacts names and numbers on paper.


.
 Quoting: Zovalex


Thank you Zovalex! I'm glad I helped you think of something you hadn't thought of. I realized I don't know anyone's phone numbers anymore so will be writing my contacts down soon.

hf
 Quoting: 88


Plug your phone into the computer

UPDATE it ! Backup done

Then PRINT OUT YOUR CONTACTS !
Suzie the Bleeder
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02/21/2020 08:20 AM
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Re: Thread for Prissy Preppers!!
RAG TAMPONS!!!

A huge hoard of store bought tampons will only last so long because you are using them for so many other uses. We need to find out what kind of cloth material is the best to use, and then stock up. Lucrative item for the lean years to follow the culling.
HoneyDee

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02/21/2020 08:36 AM

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Re: Thread for Prissy Preppers!!
This thread is FANTASTIQUE and you made me smile this morning! Greatly appreciate this because I absolutely have already gotten 6 boxes of hair color, lol.
1 new thing that I'm starting is trying to learn axe throwing .
I am beginning this weekend and I know it will make me sore but I'm going to be set up out back and at least give it a whirl.
Also, don't forget to buy antifungals!
You can do any cheap brand as long as they kill off the itch. When working and sweating it's very easy to get a fungal type rash.

Have a blessed day!
Yo Adrian
MSM Verified

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02/21/2020 08:50 AM

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Re: Thread for Prissy Preppers!!
Did anyone else read that as "Thread for Penny Peppers"? cruisewuflu
“The thing about smart mother fuckers is that sometimes, they sound like crazy mother fuckers to stupid mother fuckers...” Robert Kirkman
Anonymous Coward
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02/21/2020 08:51 AM
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Re: Thread for Prissy Preppers!!
Buy condoms....lots of condoms....
Anonymous Coward
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02/21/2020 08:53 AM
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Re: Thread for Prissy Preppers!!
I've lost a lot of weight and had to buy new jeans. I now will fit in with a starving population. Someone who doesn't lose any weight will be a target.
Anonymous Coward
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02/21/2020 08:53 AM
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Re: Thread for Prissy Preppers!!
Buy a Prius, get a trailer hitch for it, mount a huge solar panel on the trailer and plug in your Prius....call it the Prissy Prius BOV
Anonymous Coward
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02/21/2020 09:00 AM
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Re: Thread for Prissy Preppers!!
Instead of your ideas, I will pretend I am a dwarf warrior, I will have alchemy potions ready, healing and stats. Stat Food made; the proper enchantments on my sword and shield; I will prepare for the legendary loot dungeon, I don't feel like role-playing The Walking Dead characters, lose sleep, fear and cry, etc. etc.
Anonymous Coward
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02/21/2020 09:05 AM
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Re: Thread for Prissy Preppers!!
Fertile women will need to prep home childbirth books, because with no internet, the only sport will be breeding the next generation (and horseshoes of course)
Serepta Ann

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02/21/2020 09:07 AM

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I'm bringing out the good plates. We'll dining in style, even if it is just rice and beans.
 Quoting: Only Me


LOL I just finished ordering the rest of my Polish pottery (for complete 8 piece settings) figured if I have to eat crap I'm going to eat it on pretty plates
You have to train your mind to be stronger than your emotions or you will lose yourself every time

Serepta Ann

esse quam videri

I can handle a lot of shit, whining is not one of them
Ricky Retardo
coronatard

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02/21/2020 09:08 AM

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I cant think of anything worse than not having scrunchies and chapstick during foraging.
Anonymous Coward
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02/21/2020 09:09 AM
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Re: Thread for Prissy Preppers!!
Great post!

Although satirical (from a man’s point of view), you made an excellent point that I hadn’t thought of:

WRITE DOWN all contacts names and numbers on paper.


.
 Quoting: Zovalex


I’ve already done that in case my phone goes dead. I carry them with me at all times.

And love the thread OP. So funny but some good advice.

Women can buy overalls also. They will still fit with weight loss.
Anonymous Coward
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02/21/2020 09:10 AM
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Re: Thread for Prissy Preppers!!
WTF.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 59029940


I'm sorry, are you offended?? I think this is my 2nd thread ever, lol. Just being silly.
 Quoting: 88


Hardly offended. I mean it's mildly amusing, but when so many are trying to provide useful information, it seems odd. Only 2% identify as bushcraft, homesteader, prepper folks. This equates to massive carnage, starvation, dehydratin, sickness, etc in a global pandemic. Joking will dissuade many to prepare.

It's the opposite of the desired effect.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 59029940


No it won’t. She has some good tips in there.
Anonymous Coward
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02/21/2020 09:13 AM
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Re: Thread for Prissy Preppers!!
Toothpicks...lots of toothpicks. If you try to eat roasted squirrel from a regular plate along with a knife and fork, it feels like a joke of a meal. If you serve the meat on toothpicks instead, it becomes a nice little high class treat. Raise your pinky finger in the air and also have a wine glass full of rain water in your other hand while doing it to increase your perception of civility.

Also, carry a simple BIC lighter. Useful for starting fires, but more importantly it can be used along with the bug spray to torch the guy you have wrapped up in your volleyball net.

Buy pants that are looser than normal in the hip and crotch area. It's hard to run away from bad guys if you have a swollen diaper and you're wearing skinny jeans.

Buy more sunscreen than you think you will need. Remember, shaved pets need their skin protected from the sun too.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 78475634


I was at the dollar tree yesterday and saw the lighters at checkout. Bought three for a buck. Carry them with me now. I have a mini bug out bad I alway keep with me. Put stuff in it every now and then.
Anonymous Coward
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02/21/2020 09:15 AM
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Re: Thread for Prissy Preppers!!
...


I'm sorry, are you offended?? I think this is my 2nd thread ever, lol. Just being silly.
 Quoting: 88


Hardly offended. I mean it's mildly amusing, but when so many are trying to provide useful information, it seems odd. Only 2% identify as bushcraft, homesteader, prepper folks. This equates to massive carnage, starvation, dehydratin, sickness, etc in a global pandemic. Joking will dissuade many to prepare.

It's the opposite of the desired effect.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 59029940


Lighten up Francis
 Quoting: kargatane


...


I'm sorry, are you offended?? I think this is my 2nd thread ever, lol. Just being silly.
 Quoting: 88


Hardly offended. I mean it's mildly amusing, but when so many are trying to provide useful information, it seems odd. Only 2% identify as bushcraft, homesteader, prepper folks. This equates to massive carnage, starvation, dehydratin, sickness, etc in a global pandemic. Joking will dissuade many to prepare.

It's the opposite of the desired effect.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 59029940


Lighten up Francis
 Quoting: kargatane


I said it was mildly amusing. When you are starving and dehydrated, while I am not, well, maybe it won't be amusing anymore.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 59029940


It’s a fun thread with stuff that is actually helping. People need to laugh as well.
Hellstar 420
Hellstar 420

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02/21/2020 09:16 AM
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Re: Thread for Prissy Preppers!!
Hey OP, great entertaining thread! Mail service, forget stamps. I was thinking of recreating a mail service. Locally anyway. If and when SHTF I wouldn't trust the mail service through the gov, as they have proven to not honor the contents of the sender and recipient. But good call, as many prob didn't even think about it! I'll scroll through again later and add more. Break away from the make-up as it was a psy-op to prey on the insecurities of women.

God bless all women!
Hellstar 420
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02/21/2020 09:17 AM
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Re: Thread for Prissy Preppers!!
Lets not forget our nails - Clear nail polish - Just a drop can also be used to start fires
 Quoting: Deplorable Princess


Oh yes!! Forgot the nails! Good to know clear polish can start fires!! I may need to get some pointy acrylics to scratch people away lol.
 Quoting: 88


Always carry nail clippers too. They can be used in many ways but think of how to cut nails and toenails without them. I don’t want to bite them off.lol.

I also carry floss for my teeth.
Anonymous Coward
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02/21/2020 09:19 AM
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Re: Thread for Prissy Preppers!!
This thread is FANTASTIQUE and you made me smile this morning! Greatly appreciate this because I absolutely have already gotten 6 boxes of hair color, lol.
1 new thing that I'm starting is trying to learn axe throwing .
I am beginning this weekend and I know it will make me sore but I'm going to be set up out back and at least give it a whirl.
Also, don't forget to buy antifungals!
You can do any cheap brand as long as they kill off the itch. When working and sweating it's very easy to get a fungal type rash.

Have a blessed day!
 Quoting: HoneyDee


Have lots of baby wipes also.
Anonymous Coward
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02/21/2020 09:20 AM
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Re: Thread for Prissy Preppers!!
I've lost a lot of weight and had to buy new jeans. I now will fit in with a starving population. Someone who doesn't lose any weight will be a target.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 76828414


True. I’m doing intermittent fasting now.
Anonymous Coward
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02/21/2020 09:26 AM
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Re: Thread for Prissy Preppers!!
THANK YOU OP!

spot on!
Anonymous Coward
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02/21/2020 09:31 AM
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Re: Thread for Prissy Preppers!!
Nope. By all accounts, millions will die. I find zero humor in it.

Hair color? What a waste of time when the average Amercan can't start a campfire.
Anonymous Coward
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02/21/2020 09:34 AM
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Re: Thread for Prissy Preppers!!
If you're a female and are like me and not very handy, here are some things I've come up with since I can't sleep. This thread is somewhat of a jest (making fun of myself) but also a few good things to think about.

-Stock up on coffee.. pods, bags, anything you can get your hands on. At the least, get a French Press, and even an air pot in case you have to travel and your local Dunkins is closed (and employees probably have the virus anyway).

-If you have kids, buy next year's winter clothes now on clearance in bigger sizes to accommodate their growth.

-Buy clothes in smaller sizes since you'll lose weight from starvation and running from crazy people trying to get your coffee. Or purchase belts. One does not want to have plumbers butt while trying to survive Armageddon.

-Buy to-go cups with lids for coffee. And other drinks. Disposable ones so you don't have to wash and waste water. Get the foam ones since no once will care about the environment anymore and your coffee will stay hotter longer.

-Fill your propane tanks for gas grill. Get extras. I actually can't do this myself because I'm a weak female so will have the hubby do it.

-Buy your hair color and mascara now. You don't want your partner to know how old you TRULY look or he'll trade you for food or beer. Or, don't color hair or wear makeup so when it goes Mad Max you'll be looked over and no one will want to steal you.

-Curly hair will be "in" again if the power goes out for any length of time. Stock up on gel or mousse.

-Stock up on pony tail elastics to put hair up while sweating from foraging.

-Stock up on your favorite alcohol for yourself while also stocking up on beer and spirits in case you need a favor from a man (turning on gas grill, wood cutting, figuring out how to light a fire) (yep, I'm screwed if the hubby gets this thing).

-Groom pets now, possibly shave them, so it's easier to take care of when the groomer gets sick. Keep their fur for stuffing pillows (see "sewing" below).

-Write down all the contacts in your phone, including CDC and other "authorities" so you can yell at them that they really screwed up on this one. Tell them during the next worldwide culling that they should be more organized.

-Buy stamps in case you need to send a letter to your bff venting about how the hubby ALREADY ate the stash of Reeses you stored when our phones don't work. Samsung users who received a "1" possibly most at risk of signal loss.

-If you're uncomfortable with guns, go to your local hardware store and purchase hammers, sickles, nail gun, etc then buy some baseball bats for protection. Even baseballs if you have a good arm and think you can knock out a person in one throw as to not waste your baseball ammo. Look at your kid's and hubby's sports supply for further ideas.

-Use volleyball net to wrap up any intruders or people you've culled. This will attract animals that you can knock out with baseball and keep as a pet if they're cute. Skunks are probably your best bet to keep other people away. Woodchucks also cute and can dig big holes like nobody's business. Use as a cave.

-When fishing, I've been told corn can sometimes work if you get icked out by earthworms. Also, buy a fishing pole and learn how to cast without getting the hook caught in your hair (see above for pony tail elastics).

-Buy lots of bug spray for when the kids go outside because their electronics aren't working.

-Make sure to have food & blankets if you own a boat for when you live on it. If no boat, stock up on the biggest blow-up floats you can find. See sunscreen above; the end of the world doesn't mean you need to age. People will remark how the caretakers "did a nice job" on you while looking at your casket. No one needs to know you used sunscreen and that's truly the reason why you look so good.

-Buy a basketball to draw a face on to make a friend in case you end up alone. Feel free to name him "Neworldorder" and bounce, kick, pop him with furious force.

-For Vintage/Goodwill/Thrift lovers: Gather up all your collections of silver-plated serve ware that you have in your basement in a box that you intended to use for the fancy party you're planning in your head to have one day to barter with. Surely it can be melted down somehow.

-Go Female Astronaut and purchase Depends or the likewise in case you feel uncomfortable peeing outside or don't have time to stop running from mob trying to get your coffee.

-If you can sew you'll be worth gold. Be sure to have thread and sewing needles of all types. Learn how to sew masks, diapers and body bags. If you're a knitter, start knitting blankets.

-Purchase clearance Valentine's candy for barter.

-For when the power goes out: Purchase puzzles and games. Left/Right/Center is a good game as well as Cards Against Humanity. No batteries needed.

-Buy batteries.

-Write "GLP" on your forehead in hopes to find other GLPers. Offer them a cup of coffee ;).

A silly little thread to take the angst off this virus for a bit.
hf



-
 Quoting: 88


you had me goin...
Anonymous Coward
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02/21/2020 09:37 AM
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Re: Thread for Prissy Preppers!!
The estimates are 5 billion will get this. We know people either are getting suboptimal antiviral treatment or are getting reinfected. That leads to sudden cardiac death.

Gold is at $1641. I bet it goes to $2000.

You at best have 48 hours to get supplies and only if you live in a rural town.
Get everything you can afford to. Prepare as if your life depends on it, because in all likelihood, the authorities are useless and impotent, and you are on your own.

Then do extreme social distancing. Life as you knew it, is over. This is global paradigm changing event. I hope you have accepted Jesus as your Lord and Savior.
Shadow and Flame

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02/21/2020 09:38 AM

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Re: Thread for Prissy Preppers!!
Well done, thanks for the laugh.
Epic Beard Guy

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02/21/2020 09:38 AM
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Re: Thread for Prissy Preppers!!
WTF.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 59029940


I'm sorry, are you offended?? I think this is my 2nd thread ever, lol. Just being silly.
 Quoting: 88


Hardly offended. I mean it's mildly amusing, but when so many are trying to provide useful information, it seems odd. Only 2% identify as bushcraft, homesteader, prepper folks. This equates to massive carnage, starvation, dehydratin, sickness, etc in a global pandemic. Joking will dissuade many to prepare.

It's the opposite of the desired effect.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 59029940


You make a great point which I hadn't thought of. I'm actually a very anxious, prissy girl and my husband isn't a prepper/survivalist and it scares me to death. I've been feeling helpless and kind of depressed about this virus and when that happens, I deal with it by being funny. It's how my family always dealt with serious things. But I think some females will understand and get a kick out of it because I believe some of us truly think this way to a point.

Stay safe AC!
 Quoting: 88


If you aren't sure exactly how to prep for this coming emergency, make it simple. Load up on canned goods, and store water. There are a lot of better ways to prep, but that will keep you alive. Prep for a long term quarantine, because we don't know how long this will last. It could be weeks, or it could be a year and a half. The fridge will keep things good at least for a while, but canned and dry foods will last longer if the power goes out. DON'T FORGET WATER! You will need water every day that you are quarantined. It can be tap water, or bottled. long term storage of tap water requires a little bleach to keep it clean. Some people say you don't need bleach if the water is already chlorinated, but I'd add some just to make sure it stays clean, long term. 8 drops per gallon, if you are using good water, 16 if it is not so good.
Hope for the best, but prepare for the worst.
"America is at that awkward stage. It's too late to work within the system, but too early to shoot the bastards." -- Claire Wolfe
SailBeyond

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02/21/2020 09:39 AM
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Re: Thread for Prissy Preppers!!
WTF.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 59029940


I'm sorry, are you offended?? I think this is my 2nd thread ever, lol. Just being silly.
 Quoting: 88


Hardly offended. I mean it's mildly amusing, but when so many are trying to provide useful information, it seems odd. Only 2% identify as bushcraft, homesteader, prepper folks. This equates to massive carnage, starvation, dehydratin, sickness, etc in a global pandemic. Joking will dissuade many to prepare.

It's the opposite of the desired effect.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 59029940


On the contrary! Having a sense of humor and a willingness to share it is an essential characteristic of true preppers. We desperately need some levity, and a sense of humor will help teach your kids how to get through tough times with some humanity and grace and resilience.

Thank you for this post, OP!
Come, my friends,
'Tis not too late to seek a newer world.
Push off, and sitting well in order smite
The sounding furrows; for my purpose holds
To sail beyond the sunset, and the baths
Of all the western stars, until I die.
--"Ulysses," Alfred Lord Tennyson
Epic Beard Guy

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02/21/2020 09:41 AM
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Re: Thread for Prissy Preppers!!
This thread is FANTASTIQUE and you made me smile this morning! Greatly appreciate this because I absolutely have already gotten 6 boxes of hair color, lol.
1 new thing that I'm starting is trying to learn axe throwing .
I am beginning this weekend and I know it will make me sore but I'm going to be set up out back and at least give it a whirl.
Also, don't forget to buy antifungals!
You can do any cheap brand as long as they kill off the itch. When working and sweating it's very easy to get a fungal type rash.

Have a blessed day!
 Quoting: HoneyDee


Have lots of baby wipes also.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 76984449


While you are buying baby wipes, get some bleach wipes to clean surfaces, and kill virus'. The virus can live on hard surfaces, but we don't know for sure how long. Don't take a chance, wipe everything with bleach wipes often.
Hope for the best, but prepare for the worst.
"America is at that awkward stage. It's too late to work within the system, but too early to shoot the bastards." -- Claire Wolfe
Anonymous Coward
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02/21/2020 09:44 AM
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Re: Thread for Prissy Preppers!!
Pounds of Coffee, Stainless Steel coffee percolator and a propane burner with a case of those little propane tanks is all you need.

I live in South Florida and electric goes out a lot....





GLP