I need help: I desire a serious relationship with God

I am hoping someone can help me here. I was once a devout Hindu, praising Shiva each day. And I saw something one day that would change me forever...


I was watching TBN and saw this movie about Jews and such, it was Moses. And they talked about God a lot and this God did all these miracles and plagues and he completely ruined Egypt. And as I watched, all I could think was...


"This God is so damn sexy..."

After that movie, I gave up Hinduism. None of those gods could compare to this God I heard of. He seemed so raw, so masculine. He is capable of such kindness, and yet ca be so fierce and dangerous, it's a HUGE turn on for me. There is a problem though...


I'm a man. I heard many Christians say God hates gays, and quoted stuff proving he did. But I don't know. I mean man wrote that book, not God, and men are homophobic, so maybe they lied. I need to know, would God mind falling in love with a man? I really desire a serious relationship with him. I heard Christians say if you ask and believe, you can have a special relationship with him. I want that too, but more. I don't want to be just friends, I want to be his lover. How do I go about getting His attention? What sort of things does he like? Is there anything I can do to catch His eye? Does... does he know what I do alone in the bathroom when I think of him?