ADVICE NEEDED: My girlfriend refusing to work for 30 days, should I be upset? | |
SoberLife (OP) User ID: 78446523 United States 03/23/2020 09:58 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 78054348 United States 03/23/2020 10:01 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
SoberLife (OP) User ID: 78446523 United States 03/23/2020 10:03 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
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SoberLife (OP) User ID: 78446523 United States 03/23/2020 10:04 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
wkk User ID: 78674701 United States 03/23/2020 10:04 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | I have an unpopular opinion, but since you asked, I will give it. I believe she should be able to stay home if she is scared. As her partner, you should be willing to care for her needs. And at this time, this is her need. Now, I would suggest that you have the right to make sure she is not just using you. If she is telling the truth, her time off should not be time to go out with friends. because if you are going to take a chance of losing things over this decision, then she needs to be honest with you about her reasons. But if she is scared and honest, then you should put her needs first. It is too bad that you are so dependent on both salaries to survive. Hopefully, the money the government has. promised will help you get through the tough spot and you can make decisions that will allow you both more. freedom in the event something happens. wkk |
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SoberLife (OP) User ID: 78446523 United States 03/23/2020 10:11 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | I have an unpopular opinion, but since you asked, I will give it. Quoting: wkk I believe she should be able to stay home if she is scared. As her partner, you should be willing to care for her needs. And at this time, this is her need. Now, I would suggest that you have the right to make sure she is not just using you. If she is telling the truth, her time off should not be time to go out with friends. because if you are going to take a chance of losing things over this decision, then she needs to be honest with you about her reasons. But if she is scared and honest, then you should put her needs first. It is too bad that you are so dependent on both salaries to survive. Hopefully, the money the government has. promised will help you get through the tough spot and you can make decisions that will allow you both more. freedom in the event something happens. Thanks for responding. She has no friends to go out with, she's a homebody. It's hard to the balance her needs vs our need to keep a roof over our heads. I can't imagine it's coming out of this scenario without major life changes. Even with this stimulus, which is still hypothetical, I can't see us coming out without being financially decimated. |
SoberLife (OP) User ID: 78446523 United States 03/23/2020 10:12 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 4610227 United States 03/23/2020 10:12 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 52923498 United States 03/23/2020 10:13 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Her vehicle shouldn’t be priority, that’s for sure. And they wont take it after one missed payment anyway. Will she lose her job? Or is this 30 day leave excusable with her employer? I think you have a right to be upset but she’s obviously very freaked out with everything going on, and some people take it very difficult. I dunno, I think you two should start discussing it slowly and rationally and hear out her plan. Irresponsible for her just totally shut down and pin the financials on you, but maybe she’s really mentally struggling and an argument or guilt isn’t going to knock her into to contributing. But don’t you panic either, financially or otherwise, you two can work it out I bet. |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 77069256 United States 03/23/2020 10:19 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
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DuckNCover User ID: 77927596 United States 03/23/2020 10:24 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | So she is very emotional... You sure she is not pregnant... If she's only your GF, hope you have things in your name and not jointly... If she's not pregnant, then tell her she's lazy and get to work. Otherwise, find a new GF that will contribute financially to the relationship... |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 69901219 United States 03/23/2020 10:25 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | "...our financial demise." So you're playing house? What does your girlfriends finances have to do with your demise? You're not married. You made a poor choice if you're living together and sharing rent. YOU'RE ACTING LIKE A BOY. IT'S TIME TO GROW UP AND BE A MAN. STOP PLAYING HOUSE. ~ I'm Judge Judy bitch and I approve this message. |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 78362947 United States 03/23/2020 10:30 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 77425580 United States 03/23/2020 10:30 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Taking off is fine. There are options to work from home that she can take advantage of when she starts feeling better. Forcing her out into the world is going to bring her to a place where she feels trapped, and it also puts you in a precarious position; potentially exposing yourself to more risk than needed. See what she can do around the house. Sell one of your cars, start to plan for alternatives. No one wants an entire nation of homeless, but if that's what's going to happen, you won't be alone. Trust that something will happen that can save this situation from turning into doom's day. If it can't, I'm not so sure your girlfriend will make it to the aftermath. Good luck, friend. I'm sorry this happened during your rise. |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 78362947 United States 03/23/2020 10:31 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
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Anonymous Coward User ID: 59310310 United States 03/23/2020 10:33 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | I have an unpopular opinion, but since you asked, I will give it. Quoting: wkk I believe she should be able to stay home if she is scared. As her partner, you should be willing to care for her needs. And at this time, this is her need. Now, I would suggest that you have the right to make sure she is not just using you. If she is telling the truth, her time off should not be time to go out with friends. because if you are going to take a chance of losing things over this decision, then she needs to be honest with you about her reasons. But if she is scared and honest, then you should put her needs first. It is too bad that you are so dependent on both salaries to survive. Hopefully, the money the government has. promised will help you get through the tough spot and you can make decisions that will allow you both more. freedom in the event something happens. :thismm: You're not married, why do both of you have bills together and rely on each other without the commitment? No commitment, no guarantee that each of you would commit to paying said bills. She doesn't want to work out of pure fear, don't expect her to work. I am also in the not popular opinion. I don't think a man should rely on a woman to get the bills paid |
Peepaws User ID: 1239812 United States 03/23/2020 10:36 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
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Anonymous Coward User ID: 77425580 United States 03/23/2020 10:39 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | :thismm: Quoting: EllenRipley You're not married, why do both of you have bills together and rely on each other without the commitment? No commitment, no guarantee that each of you would commit to paying said bills. She doesn't want to work out of pure fear, don't expect her to work. I am also in the not popular opinion. I don't think a man should rely on a woman to get the bills paid The cost of living is not proportional with income. During my college years I had to live with others in order to have a roof; we shared a 3 bedroom apartment between 6 people at one time. We barely made it. My wife and I moved out of that apartment as boyfriend and girlfriend and were married a couple of years later after I found a job and started pushing to get promotions. She had our daughter, and now we have a home. Don't decry people when you don't know the environment from which they are coming. Makes you look like an ASShole. |
SoberLife (OP) User ID: 78446523 United States 03/23/2020 10:46 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Well if she only pays the water bill and her vehicle, I really don't see the issue, surely you can pick up the water bill. And let the payments slide on her car. You asked who's name the bills are in. She helps with all bills. Last Edited by SoberLife on 03/23/2020 10:48 PM |
SoberLife (OP) User ID: 78446523 United States 03/23/2020 10:52 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Taking off is fine. There are options to work from home that she can take advantage of when she starts feeling better. Forcing her out into the world is going to bring her to a place where she feels trapped, and it also puts you in a precarious position; potentially exposing yourself to more risk than needed. Quoting: Anonymous Coward 77425580 See what she can do around the house. Sell one of your cars, start to plan for alternatives. No one wants an entire nation of homeless, but if that's what's going to happen, you won't be alone. Trust that something will happen that can save this situation from turning into doom's day. If it can't, I'm not so sure your girlfriend will make it to the aftermath. Good luck, friend. I'm sorry this happened during your rise. Thanks for responding and your suggestions. Working from home might be a good option here, if we can find it. |
Finding Nemo DEAD User ID: 78491084 United States 03/23/2020 10:53 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | She has the opportunity to work, but she refuses to. This is a decision that may ultimately lead to our financial demise. I'm afraid I'm going to lose the house our cars. Quoting: SoberLife I've attempted to speak with her about this on a few occasions, she instantly breaks out crying and it makes a rational conversation impossible. She claims she doesn't want to spread covid to people and be the reason a person dies. How should I react to this? Am I being unsympathetic? Honestly I have no idea what to do right now. I've got less than $1k in the bank. Losing her contribution will destroy us. Tell her that she needs to go on welfare, since times are hard and if she's not going to work,she needs to contribute in other ways. I'm not paranoid...am I? |
nimmerfall User ID: 72716118 United States 03/23/2020 10:54 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |