God speaks to us in our dreams. He speaks to us through the Bible. He speaks to us through other Christians.

It sounds to me like you are a very spiritual person who fior whatever reason got turned off on the Bible. The Bible is the handbook for planet earth.

Also try reading Henry Blackaby book called Experiencibg God.

You will then understand our lives and the afterlife which is very very real.

You are getting ready to take off like a rocket ship and become a powerful Christian.

Find others like you.

God bless.