Sanctuary - A Gathering Place 11:11

when venus in solitary domicile is backtracking, fallen mars comes out to play

^ struck my mind a few moments ago, when self-reflecting


it's an odd paradox, when a certain seldom seen side of me comes out. it's enjoyed by a vocal few, which is par for any course, but is still unsettling to me

it's like tucking something away that is quite quaint to be housed in solitude, but after being unleashed and upon its return is compulsively, sometimes obsessively so, questioned as to it's merit. where have you been? what have you done? what are the repercussions?

and so a part of me takes another part hostage, interrogating violently, demanding answers. presuming prejudice, haste, maleficence, and/or guilt.


i understand well the distinction between light and dark is foolhardy to be construed as similar to that between right/wrong and/or good/bad, and that the only thing even more foolhardy would be to think one could remain ever in one or the other

from what i've seen, you understand to some extent too


it's not about balance, though, as easy a slope as that may be upon to slide. i am no do-gooder for the sake of striking a moral balance.

it's just that this place... at times, no amount of light can do any good. there are voids that will consume any and all amount shone upon them. sometimes they can't be ignored. give them love, and they will feel loved for the way they consume.


to know when enough is enough, when to reign in the indulgence compelled by an influence, i think is about the best order of any day we can seek to master. to accept when enough is said, thought, or felt to be enough, and not dwell on loose ends through defining said ends within ourselves rather than relying on the validations or concessions from others.

and there, something catchy to say thought before has escaped me, perhaps because what's been caught is enough for one day

InterMezzo upgraded me over the weekend, so there'll be more pictures soon. not today, probably not tomorrow, but not in GLP-soon fashion :)

:mitt343:

there's an aeronautics presentation i came across that blew my mind while on furlough and i watched it again yesterday morning. i don't know why it didn't occur to me that my father, a graduate of aerospace engineering, would enjoy it as well the first time i watched it. wanting to be sure it got sent where it ought, i dug up the last email i received from him.

and re-reading it, you are the one that came to mind that would enjoy it.



"Twenty years ago, I drove a cab for a living. One time I arrived in the middle of the night for a pick up at a building that was dark except for a single light in a ground floor window.

Under these circumstances, many drivers would just honk once or twice, wait a minute, then drive away. But I had seen too many impoverished people who depended on taxis as their only means of transportation. Unless a situation smelled of danger, I always went to the door. This passenger might be someone who needs my assistance, I reasoned to myself. So I walked to the door and knocked.

"Just a minute," answered a frail, elderly voice.

I could hear something being dragged across the floor. After a long pause, the door opened. A small woman in her 80's stood before me. She was wearing a print dress and a pillbox hat with a veil pinned on it, like somebody out of a 1940s movie. By her side was a small nylon suitcase.

The apartment looked as if no one had lived in it for years. All the furniture was covered with sheets. There were no clocks on the walls, no knickknacks or utensils on the counters. In the corner was a cardboard box filled with photos and glassware."



the rest of the less than fifty percent can be read here: [link to www.personalgrowthcourses.net (secure)]

i do not consider myself a religious person, but there are a plethora of words i choose to describe the fact that i was born and raised within a Franciscan parish... fortuitous, thankful, grace, and solemn to name a few

~~ Book of your Life ~~

Many times we forget
Many times we can't forget
things which join our minds
for ourself maybe unimportant things
but for other ones real important things
We should let people know things before its to late
but how can we let them know if we have wrong attitude of life
Many things make us blind and deaf and time runs by so fast that we think we will miss to much
Some see other humans as options and hurt in fully intention and conscience the feelings of close ones
Their life may be short looking but because of the fact that they make it shorter as it in reality is
They speak from Love and surely has love many faces but real love never hurts and never betrays
Some speak from old souls and old school but hardly life it so like it really was as role model for everyone
Thankfulness and gratefulness like also to stand their ground and being encourager and not hater
What you have inside is what you lets outside and how can you be what you want but its your wrong attitude
A road looks only long if we are no optimists and not seeing that road can be taken even by tiny steps
The tiny things mean much more than the big things by those which have a humble heart
We are loved we are hated often we smile even though inside of us we cry
If we scream it only means someone has opened an old bad healing wound not because we cry because of our hormons
We try to fly but someone has twisted our feathers and until they are fixed turns the day into night
We've to wait until morning starts again but the night scares us even though we see clear
Nothing is really over until we give up on it by realizing it makes no sense to run behind those which don't care what we do
Some are the wind under our wings and carry us to new places and some are the rain that makes our wings heavy
Some are like the sun that dries our feathers again and some are like fogg which hardens the sight
Many are close but few run away as long as you are hurted instead of giving you calming hugs and love
Often we may not know what to say but words aren't as much necessary than a tender hug and saying all is fine
Even an apologize closes the old bad healing wound but sometimes is it good if a wound doesn't heals
Because it lets you be aware about and careful about what happened in your life and being more protective
Distance is not what breaks love but its silence and if someone does it walk away from and leave it alone
Silence can be good and matters a lot but silence is a killer like also the one who use it as weapon
Remember those which love you really in all sincerity and always love to show it no matter when
Those which know the real you and this since countless years and were there to any time
Those which don't act in rudeness and trying to let you believe that this is a good behavior
If your heart says its not fine for you then listen to it and not to the one who hurts it it only will be their loss
Let sadness fly away as good as you can and refill the empty space with blessing in form of real humans
Those which love to show it in all sincerity they really care and really love
Not those where you says what hurts you as most and then they do it in fully intention without regrets
Keep things by you let them come to you and be aware about your ability's and your weapons
See what makes your heart happy and who is with you not as shadow but as a fighter and helper
A shadow disappears and hides behind you so soon the fire brightens the place but a real one is beside you and touchable
Forget and forgive for your own hearts healthy move forward and don't compare with other ones
Keep memories by yourself which caused no harm but helped you to grow and to transform into beauty
Your journeys are made by you not by someone else so nobody can blame you for being you
But here is not meant that you may be an hurter and player which plays with many humans their feelings
Here is meant that nobody has the right to judge lver your wounds but you get admired if you shows them your scars
Scars are healed wounds and means that you are a optimist that looks with faith and knowledge forward as warrior
A writer is a writer and a singer is and will be always a singer because its their passion of heart
But a player can always transform into someone better and to someone loyal if there is enough place for right atittude in heart
We write the books of our Life with all experiences and every single day is for many just a fight
Some don't know where to go some other ones take things just for to granted and those will grief as most
We learn by changing ourself and will be loved more and more if we recall our good memories and create with them something better
Our book of life is what we write and if we would read it what would be our reaction about it
Everyone and everything is a lesson but if you sees your own worth and peoples love to let you know it then move forward never stand still
Your book of Life never ends until you will end it

Snowwolfdancer ~ Coon Mengun Gaanimit

(Copywritten by Steffi Kramer)

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