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Jesis is returning soon. Repent before it is too late

 
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 75150262
United Kingdom
05/04/2020 11:45 PM
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Jesis is returning soon. Repent before it is too late
Jesus will return like a thief in the night
FuckBoris

User ID: 7155100
United Kingdom
05/04/2020 11:46 PM
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Re: Jesis is returning soon. Repent before it is too late
Very good.
Fuck the government, fuck Boris.

Getting negative rep since 16/3/2020 3:48 AM.
Anonymous Coward
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05/04/2020 11:54 PM
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Re: Jesis is returning soon. Repent before it is too late
He's not coming back for another 173 years, and that's just the way it is.

Sorry bout that.
Anonymous Coward
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05/04/2020 11:54 PM
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Re: Jesis is returning soon. Repent before it is too late
They said that 1000 years ago
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 78177109
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05/04/2020 11:56 PM
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Re: Jesis is returning soon. Repent before it is too late
Jesus will return like a thief in the night
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 75150262


Cunt, Jesus is not coming back.

I do not care if these goddamn Mormons torture me forever..

Jesus is dead, and will stay that way.
Anonymous Coward
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05/04/2020 11:57 PM
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Re: Jesis is returning soon. Repent before it is too late
Jesus sees us not wearing our masks and not practicing social distancing and will not come back
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 78177109
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05/04/2020 11:57 PM
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Re: Jesis is returning soon. Repent before it is too late
I want every Mormon to die.
AndSoItEnds

User ID: 76118014
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05/05/2020 12:00 AM

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Re: Jesis is returning soon. Repent before it is too late
I am so glad. I can’t wait for his return.
Anonymous Coward
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05/05/2020 12:01 AM
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Re: Jesis is returning soon. Repent before it is too late
I am so glad. I can’t wait for his return.
 Quoting: AndSoItEnds


hf
Anonymous Coward
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05/05/2020 12:01 AM
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Re: Jesis is returning soon. Repent before it is too late
I am so glad. I can’t wait for his return.
 Quoting: AndSoItEnds


JESUS IS A GOD DAMN LIE.

STOP BEING A RETARD.
Anonymous Coward
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05/05/2020 12:03 AM
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Re: Jesis is returning soon. Repent before it is too late
The wonders of illogical religious thought:

If Jesus doesn’t come back , it means he is just punishing us more for being so wicked

So I’m still right and God , xenu, Muhammad (insert your favorite sky lord)
Exists
3643297

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05/05/2020 12:04 AM
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Re: Jesis is returning soon. Repent before it is too late
You’ll see Him in heaven when you die. Why the rush?
Anonymous Coward
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05/05/2020 12:04 AM
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Re: Jesis is returning soon. Repent before it is too late
Jesus will return like a thief in the night
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 75150262


If you keep mentioning Jesus, I am going to rape you to death.
Anonymous Coward
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05/05/2020 12:06 AM
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Re: Jesis is returning soon. Repent before it is too late
Good. Tell him to bring my guitar back.
Anonymous Coward
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Serbia
05/05/2020 12:21 AM
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Re: Jesis is returning soon. Repent before it is too late
Read the King James Bible
The New Testament, Gospels and Revelation to start.

Luke21:7 And they asked him, saying, Master, but when shall these things be? and what sign will there be when these things shall come to pass?
Luke21:8 And he said, Take heed that ye be not deceived: for many shall come in my name, saying, I am Christ; and the time draweth near: go ye not therefore after them.
Luke21:9 But when ye shall hear of wars and commotions, be not terrified: for these things must first come to pass; but the end is not by and by.
Luke21:10 Then said he unto them, Nation shall rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom:
Luke21:11 And great earthquakes shall be in divers places, and famines, and pestilences; and fearful sights and great signs shall there be from heaven.
Luke21:12 But before all these, they shall lay their hands on you, and persecute you, delivering you up to the synagogues, and into prisons, being brought before kings and rulers for my name's sake.
Luke21:13 And it shall turn to you for a testimony.
Luke21:14 Settle it therefore in your hearts, not to meditate before what ye shall answer:
Luke21:15 For I will give you a mouth and wisdom, which all your adversaries shall not be able to gainsay nor resist.
Luke21:16 And ye shall be betrayed both by parents, and brethren, and kinsfolks, and friends; and some of you shall they cause to be put to death.
Luke21:17 And ye shall be hated of all men for my name's sake.
Luke21:18 But there shall not an hair of your head perish.
Luke21:19 In your patience possess ye your souls.
Luke21:20 And when ye shall see Jerusalem compassed with armies, then know that the desolation thereof is nigh.
Luke21:21 Then let them which are in Judaea flee to the mountains; and let them which are in the midst of it depart out; and let not them that are in the countries enter thereinto.
Luke21:22 For these be the days of vengeance, that all things which are written may be fulfilled.
Luke21:23 But woe unto them that are with child, and to them that give suck, in those days! for there shall be great distress in the land, and wrath upon this people.
Luke21:24 And they shall fall by the edge of the sword, and shall be led away captive into all nations: and Jerusalem shall be trodden down of the Gentiles, until the times of the Gentiles be fulfilled.
Luke21:25 And there shall be signs in the sun, and in the moon, and in the stars; and upon the earth distress of nations, with perplexity; the sea and the waves roaring;
Luke21:26 Men's hearts failing them for fear, and for looking after those things which are coming on the earth: for the powers of heaven shall be shaken.
Luke21:27 And then shall they see the Son of man coming in a cloud with power and great glory.
Luke21:28 And when these things begin to come to pass, then look up, and lift up your heads; for your redemption draweth nigh.

Rev7:13 And one of the elders answered, saying unto me, What are these which are arrayed in white robes? and whence came they?
Rev7:14 And I said unto him, Sir, thou knowest. And he said to me, These are they which came out of great tribulation, and have washed their robes, and made them white in the blood of the Lamb.

...
Rev8:6 And the seven angels which had the seven trumpets prepared themselves to sound.
Rev8:7 The first angel sounded, and there followed hail and fire mingled with blood, and they were cast upon the earth: and the third part of trees was burnt up, and all green grass was burnt up.
Rev8:8 And the second angel sounded, and as it were a great mountain burning with fire was cast into the sea: and the third part of the sea became blood;
Rev8:9 And the third part of the creatures which were in the sea, and had life, died; and the third part of the ships were destroyed.
Rev8:10 And the third angel sounded, and there fell a great star from heaven, burning as it were a lamp, and it fell upon the third part of the rivers, and upon the fountains of waters;
Rev8:11 And the name of the star is called Wormwood: and the third part of the waters became wormwood; and many men died of the waters, because they were made bitter.
Anonymous Coward
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05/05/2020 12:21 AM
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Re: Jesis is returning soon. Repent before it is too late





[link to www.chick.com (secure)]
Anonymous Coward
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05/05/2020 12:30 AM
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Re: Jesis is returning soon. Repent before it is too late
Jesus will return like a thief in the night
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 75150262


bsflag
Anonymous Coward
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05/05/2020 12:37 AM
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Re: Jesis is returning soon. Repent before it is too late
Christ has already returned. We are in the end times, can't you see? You need look no further than the white house to see that Christ has returned in Donald J. Trump!
Anonymous Coward
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05/05/2020 12:39 AM
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Re: Jesis is returning soon. Repent before it is too late
Yes, He is OP! Pretty soon it will probably go like this...we the Bride Of Christ are Raptured, the Antichrist shows up as an alien savior, all governments and religions change overnight and the demons pretend to be benevolent aliens who say that we were all beamed up and taken somewhere in order to deceive the world, we return with Jesus at the final battle of Armageddon to destroy the Antichrist and defeat the Beast System, the Antichrist has everyone still here convinced that Jesus and the saints are evil aliens coming to invade and the people try to wage war against Jesus, Christ wins and the Millennial Kingdom is established. Lots of talk about UFOs and aliens right now. Everything is being set up. God bless!

Anonymous Coward
User ID: 76325128
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05/05/2020 12:46 AM
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Re: Jesis is returning soon. Repent before it is too late
Yes, He is OP! Pretty soon it will probably go like this...we the Bride Of Christ are Raptured, the Antichrist shows up as an alien savior, all governments and religions change overnight and the demons pretend to be benevolent aliens who say that we were all beamed up and taken somewhere in order to deceive the world, we return with Jesus at the final battle of Armageddon to destroy the Antichrist and defeat the Beast System, the Antichrist has everyone still here convinced that Jesus and the saints are evil aliens coming to invade and the people try to wage war against Jesus, Christ wins and the Millennial Kingdom is established. Lots of talk about UFOs and aliens right now. Everything is being set up. God bless!


 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 30671160


THIS!!! God Bless You!!! hf
The Anonymous Coward
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05/05/2020 12:46 AM
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Re: Jesis is returning soon. Repent before it is too late
Until you distinguish between Christ Jesus and the God of Abraham...you will be in danger of accepting the mark of the beast. For they will love the illusion and not God.

It is written that whoever does not worship the beast and its image and does not receive its mark on their foreheads or their hands but instead is beheaded for the testimony of Jesus and the word of God... are blessed and holy and will share in the first resurrection, which the second death has no power over. We reign with Christ for a thousand years until the second resurrection and beginning of judgement.

The image of the beast may already be hanging on the wall of your church or even your very home as a painting.

The mark of the beast is the counterfeit seal of God. This counterfeit seal will be widely accepted by lukewarm Christians that believe in the rapture and those who believe Lamb is God and those who pray to the saints.

The beast is the illusion that God has sent that is so great if it were possible even the very elect would be fooled.

And the angel saida to me, “Write this: Blessed are those who are invited to the marriage supper of the Lamb.” And he said to me, “These are the true words of God.” Then I fell down at his feet to worship him, but he said to me, “You must not do that! I am a fellow servant with you and your brothers who hold to the testimony of Jesus. Worship God.” For the testimony of Jesus is the spirit of prophecy.
-The Revelation of Jesus Christ
Anonymous Coward
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05/05/2020 12:48 AM
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Re: Jesis is returning soon. Repent before it is too late
Jesus will return like a thief in the night
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 75150262


Jesus is a pedophile murderer, go fuck yourself.





GLP