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I Will Never Order Pizza Again!!!

 
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 76907677
United States
07/06/2020 02:13 AM
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I Will Never Order Pizza Again!!!
I was feeling lazy and craving pizza, (meaning I did not want to cook that chicken breast tonight!)
so I ordered a medium cheese pizza, well I got in the shower as they said 45 min.... in 10
minutes they were knocking, I got out of the shower all wet and still having soap on... I hastily
put on a set of swim trunks and answered the door, I figured I at least got something on, the
hottest 18yr old ever was at the door, black hair, big gorgeous blue eyes and very small frame,
maybe an B cup... her eyes were wide, very wide!

I was like OMG! I think she digs me, so I went back in and told her to wait in the living room,
well, to make it more weird she saw the remote and turned on the tv, put on some conspiracy doc on Netflix... I
heard that as I was frantically looking for her tip, I came back and gave her a 5 dollar tip and
said "thank you, I see you like gaming", as she was looking around at my 3 arcade machines which
are in the living room, she says I love videogames!

So I say "hey those machines are open for
business, they're on free play, stop by anytime you wanna play, so she hits start and begins a game of Rage of the Dragons, then she loses one round and stops and says she has to go, I say "ok, what's your name?"

She is looking at me very surprised and wide eyed... I say, "sorry I don't mean to be pretentious", she says "Amy..L..Long"... I say "Long?" Then she says "uh.. uh, sorry I mean, Hu... l" then she cracks up and starts laughing, and then I look down at my swim trunks and half my cock has found its way out of them and there it is... my veiny jaggerslayer is resting making me turn
all sorts of red! I suddenly tell her to please leave, she composes herself and I am there thinking
she is laughing at my penis, I covered up with a couch cushion, she passes by and as she is at the door she says, "I'm sorry don't think I was laughing at you... you have an amazing body, just put clothes on baby"... I say "just go!" she says, "Seriously! You are a VERY BIG MAN!"...

Then she tells me what time she gets off work, so should I try going by there? or call her up?

I feel so embarrassed...
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 75846318
United States
07/06/2020 02:16 AM
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Re: I Will Never Order Pizza Again!!!
I was feeling lazy and craving pizza, (meaning I did not want to cook that chicken breast tonight!)
so I ordered a medium cheese pizza, well I got in the shower as they said 45 min.... in 10
minutes they were knocking, I got out of the shower all wet and still having soap on... I hastily
put on a set of swim trunks and answered the door, I figured I at least got something on, the
hottest 18yr old ever was at the door, black hair, big gorgeous blue eyes and very small frame,
maybe an B cup... her eyes were wide, very wide!

I was like OMG! I think she digs me, so I went back in and told her to wait in the living room,
well, to make it more weird she saw the remote and turned on the tv, put on some conspiracy doc on Netflix... I
heard that as I was frantically looking for her tip, I came back and gave her a 5 dollar tip and
said "thank you, I see you like gaming", as she was looking around at my 3 arcade machines which
are in the living room, she says I love videogames!

So I say "hey those machines are open for
business, they're on free play, stop by anytime you wanna play, so she hits start and begins a game of Rage of the Dragons, then she loses one round and stops and says she has to go, I say "ok, what's your name?"

She is looking at me very surprised and wide eyed... I say, "sorry I don't mean to be pretentious", she says "Amy..L..Long"... I say "Long?" Then she says "uh.. uh, sorry I mean, Hu... l" then she cracks up and starts laughing, and then I look down at my swim trunks and half my cock has found its way out of them and there it is... my veiny jaggerslayer is resting making me turn
all sorts of red! I suddenly tell her to please leave, she composes herself and I am there thinking
she is laughing at my penis, I covered up with a couch cushion, she passes by and as she is at the door she says, "I'm sorry don't think I was laughing at you... you have an amazing body, just put clothes on baby"... I say "just go!" she says, "Seriously! You are a VERY BIG MAN!"...

Then she tells me what time she gets off work, so should I try going by there? or call her up?

I feel so embarrassed...
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 76907677


Lol
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 77786543
United States
07/06/2020 02:17 AM
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Re: I Will Never Order Pizza Again!!!
Non of this happened.

If it did and you are questioning it, you might as well pretend non of it happened.

Go jerk of to your favorite egirl.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 77786543
United States
07/06/2020 02:20 AM
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Re: I Will Never Order Pizza Again!!!
So the cliffnote version.

Dude orders pizza, hops in shower, soaping down that hot cock. Super hot chick with pizza rings the bell. Dude isn't ready, so she comes in(they never do that) and plays with all his super rad video games. Smallchat ensues, but he's unaware of his thick semi hanging out of his pants. She's enamored by his awesome cock, awkwardness ensues and she leaves rapidly while being sure to reiterate that he's "hot stuff".

LOL, It's like a 12 year old writing fiction for a 90's gamer mag....
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 73761518
Canada
07/06/2020 02:22 AM
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Re: I Will Never Order Pizza Again!!!
You've been watching way too much porn, bro.

Now every scenario you go through you're going think it's gonna turn out like a porn scene.

You go to the grocery store and will be dumbfounded as to why the bagger chick didn't entice you to go to the back storage area and fuck.

rofl
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 79027487
United States
07/06/2020 02:24 AM
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Re: I Will Never Order Pizza Again!!!
"Veiny Jaggerslayer" 1rof1
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 79077555
Canada
07/06/2020 02:25 AM
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Re: I Will Never Order Pizza Again!!!
the real story:

Op yells upstairs ... "MOM! can you buy me some pizza tonight!?

MOM yells downstairs "NO! and stop plying with your little dick! because your scaring the dog again!"

the end
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 79027487
United States
07/06/2020 02:26 AM
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Re: I Will Never Order Pizza Again!!!
So the cliffnote version.

Dude orders pizza, hops in shower, soaping down that hot cock. Super hot chick with pizza rings the bell. Dude isn't ready, so she comes in(they never do that) and plays with all his super rad video games. Smallchat ensues, but he's unaware of his thick semi hanging out of his pants. She's enamored by his awesome cock, awkwardness ensues and she leaves rapidly while being sure to reiterate that he's "hot stuff".

LOL, It's like a 12 year old writing fiction for a 90's gamer mag....
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 77786543


Read again... He said he answered the door for her. lol

It's very believable. If you know people who've worked in the industry they have some crazy stories lmao
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 16111192
United States
07/06/2020 02:27 AM
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Re: I Will Never Order Pizza Again!!!
yoda
pffft-spitsmoke
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 77786543
United States
07/06/2020 02:28 AM
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Re: I Will Never Order Pizza Again!!!
So the cliffnote version.

Dude orders pizza, hops in shower, soaping down that hot cock. Super hot chick with pizza rings the bell. Dude isn't ready, so she comes in(they never do that) and plays with all his super rad video games. Smallchat ensues, but he's unaware of his thick semi hanging out of his pants. She's enamored by his awesome cock, awkwardness ensues and she leaves rapidly while being sure to reiterate that he's "hot stuff".

LOL, It's like a 12 year old writing fiction for a 90's gamer mag....
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 77786543


Read again... He said he answered the door for her. lol

It's very believable. If you know people who've worked in the industry they have some crazy stories lmao
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 79027487


Very believable......

bsflag
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 51750288
United States
07/06/2020 02:30 AM
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Re: I Will Never Order Pizza Again!!!
yeah uh, none of that happened.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 77786543
United States
07/06/2020 02:31 AM
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Re: I Will Never Order Pizza Again!!!
yeah uh, none of that happened.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 51750288


Sadly, probably not even the "i took a shower" part of it.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 51750288
United States
07/06/2020 02:31 AM
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Re: I Will Never Order Pizza Again!!!
You never mentioned asking her age. So you magically just knew she was 18 huh?
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 16111192
United States
07/06/2020 02:31 AM
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Re: I Will Never Order Pizza Again!!!
yoda
pffft-spitsmoke
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 16111192
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 78964055
United States
07/06/2020 02:32 AM
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Re: I Will Never Order Pizza Again!!!
MCVbullshit
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 57897053
United States
07/06/2020 02:33 AM
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Re: I Will Never Order Pizza Again!!!
too long , didnt read
get to the point man
coffee4
Travis Bickle
Vigilantes need love too....

User ID: 72715998
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07/06/2020 02:35 AM

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Re: I Will Never Order Pizza Again!!!
coolstory
One of these days... A *REAL* rain is gonna come and wash all this scum off the streets.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 77786543
United States
07/06/2020 02:39 AM
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Re: I Will Never Order Pizza Again!!!
"My gaming fantasy"

Submitted in 1996 to virgin gamer magazine, written by Eddie Smith, submitted by his mother, Anne Smith.

It's a very historic piece from gaming history.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 16111192
United States
07/06/2020 02:40 AM
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Re: I Will Never Order Pizza Again!!!
:coolstory:
 Quoting: Travis Bickle
yoda
epiclol
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 72624587
United States
07/06/2020 02:47 AM
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Re: I Will Never Order Pizza Again!!!
You never mentioned asking her age. So you magically just knew she was 18 huh?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 51750288


You can usually tell when they’re 18, especially when they have jobs
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 79048439
United States
07/06/2020 02:47 AM
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Re: I Will Never Order Pizza Again!!!
I was feeling lazy and craving pizza, (meaning I did not want to cook that chicken breast tonight!)
so I ordered a medium cheese pizza, well I got in the shower as they said 45 min.... in 10
minutes they were knocking, I got out of the shower all wet and still having soap on... I hastily
put on a set of swim trunks and answered the door, I figured I at least got something on, the
hottest 18yr old ever was at the door, black hair, big gorgeous blue eyes and very small frame,
maybe an B cup... her eyes were wide, very wide!

I was like OMG! I think she digs me, so I went back in and told her to wait in the living room,
well, to make it more weird she saw the remote and turned on the tv, put on some conspiracy doc on Netflix... I
heard that as I was frantically looking for her tip, I came back and gave her a 5 dollar tip and
said "thank you, I see you like gaming", as she was looking around at my 3 arcade machines which
are in the living room, she says I love videogames!

So I say "hey those machines are open for
business, they're on free play, stop by anytime you wanna play, so she hits start and begins a game of Rage of the Dragons, then she loses one round and stops and says she has to go, I say "ok, what's your name?"

She is looking at me very surprised and wide eyed... I say, "sorry I don't mean to be pretentious", she says "Amy..L..Long"... I say "Long?" Then she says "uh.. uh, sorry I mean, Hu... l" then she cracks up and starts laughing, and then I look down at my swim trunks and half my cock has found its way out of them and there it is... my veiny jaggerslayer is resting making me turn
all sorts of red! I suddenly tell her to please leave, she composes herself and I am there thinking
she is laughing at my penis, I covered up with a couch cushion, she passes by and as she is at the door she says, "I'm sorry don't think I was laughing at you... you have an amazing body, just put clothes on baby"... I say "just go!" she says, "Seriously! You are a VERY BIG MAN!"...

Then she tells me what time she gets off work, so should I try going by there? or call her up?

I feel so embarrassed...
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 76907677


...and then you woke up, look down, and notice you still have a 2 inch micropenis. Good story though needle dick.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 76377772
Canada
07/06/2020 02:54 AM
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Re: I Will Never Order Pizza Again!!!
I used to deliver pizzas, one time a lady opened the door with no pants and underwear on, i stared at her pussy the entire time and told her it looked like a tight fit for my cock. We ended up fucking. lol
TerryHastackle

User ID: 78425261
United States
07/06/2020 02:56 AM

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Re: I Will Never Order Pizza Again!!!
tldr
dribble
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 77786543
United States
07/06/2020 02:59 AM
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Re: I Will Never Order Pizza Again!!!
OP is on point.
I ran a pizza place. Whenever someone put DTF in the notes I'd send out the hottest 18 year old to deliver the pizzas. They'd hang out, play video games and he'd bang her for hours and then eat pizza.

This is real people, anyone that says otherwise is totally an shut in virgin, just like they claim these people to be that have wicked pizza orgies. They just can't handle the truthsss.
Anonymous Coward
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United States
07/06/2020 03:28 AM
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Re: I Will Never Order Pizza Again!!!
epiclol
Anonymous Coward
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07/06/2020 03:30 AM
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Re: I Will Never Order Pizza Again!!!
sockpuppet
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 78058450
United States
07/06/2020 03:38 AM
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Re: I Will Never Order Pizza Again!!!
Make Pizza Great Again!
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 78317263
Sweden
07/06/2020 03:39 AM
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Re: I Will Never Order Pizza Again!!!
I applaud the OP for channeling his incel rage into creative writing.

When life gives you a lemon, make lemonade.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 77786543
United States
07/06/2020 03:41 AM
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Re: I Will Never Order Pizza Again!!!
I applaud the OP for channeling his incel rage into creative writing.

When life gives you a lemon, make lemonade.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 78317263


When life gives you a lemon, take out your swiss army knife and carve a small hole in it and fuck it while pretending it's a hot pizza delivery girl.

yeahsure
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 62787301
United States
07/06/2020 03:45 AM
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Re: I Will Never Order Pizza Again!!!
I applaud the OP for channeling his incel rage into creative writing.

When life gives you a lemon, make lemonade.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 78317263


When life gives you a lemon, take out your swiss army knife and carve a small hole in it and fuck it while pretending it's a hot pizza delivery girl.

yeahsure
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 77786543


You forgot the microwaving for 15 seconds part
Ozamandias

User ID: 72815004
Canada
07/06/2020 03:45 AM

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Re: I Will Never Order Pizza Again!!!
I applaud the OP for channeling his incel rage into creative writing.

When life gives you a lemon, make lemonade.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 78317263


When life gives you a lemon, take out your swiss army knife and carve a small hole in it and fuck it while pretending it's a hot pizza delivery girl.

yeahsure
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 77786543


naw honeymelons warm one up for 83 seconds in the microwave. you figure out the rest...
Thomas Jefferson wrote:
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George Washington:
"If the freedom of speech is taken away then dumb and silent we may be led, like sheep to the slaughter."

Thomas Jefferson said it best:
"When the people fear the government, there is tyranny; when the government fears the people, there is liberty."

The Respected Abraham Lincoln:
“America will never be destroyed from the outside. If we falter and lose our freedoms, it will be because we destroyed ourselves.”





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